UN Police officers desert station citing goblin attacks

Police officers desert station citing goblin attacks​

May 30, 2024 Staff Reporter Zimbabwe 0


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The Gwambe police base in Bulilima, Matabeleland South has been deserted by officers who claimed they were being terrorised by goblins at night.
Ward 2 Councillor, Mabed Ngulani, confirmed the unusual situation. “We built a police station for the officers, and initially, they patrolled in pairs,” Ngulani explained. “However, they haven’t been able to stay for extended periods.”
According to Cllr Ngulani, the male officers reported being terrorised by female goblins at night. “They described being harassed – bodies being violated, doors opening on their own, and things climbing on the roof – making it impossible to sleep,” he said.


A meeting was held last week with village heads and police officials from Plumtree. “The police from Plumtree withdrew the officers from Gwambe, stating they wouldn’t endanger them further,” Cllr Ngulani said.
The local chief also reportedly addressed the situation and cautioned villagers against such behaviour.
“Police came yesterday and said we should look for another alternative accommodation but there is no accommodation at Gwambe school and they will be using the clinic as an office, we haven’t got accommodation but we asked them to come back and we see if the attacks will continue” Cllr Ngulani explained.
Matabeleland South police spokesperson Inspector Loveness Mangena said she was not aware of the matter.
 
God, only in third world shit holes would an insane story like this happen.

Everyone knows all you have to do is leave out a prisoner and a few kilos of cocaine every couple of months and they'll leave you alone for most of the year unless you bring a lunch with cheese in it to work and don't share.
 
Finally a rational explanation for why black people can't maintain civilization.
To be fair, they handled this in as civilized a way as possible for people afraid of goblins. No riots, no rapes, no killing albinos or any of the other crazy shit you hear about in places like Congo or Liberia.

ETA: I wonder what kind of goblins Haiti is dealing with.
Haitians.
 
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