US Covenant Killer Audrey Hale Wrote 3 Pages in Journal About ‘My Imaginary Penis’

source (A)

June 6, 2024 Tom Pappert

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Covenant School killer Audrey Elizabeth Hale, a biological female who identified as a transgender male at the time of her March 27, 2023 attack, wrote a three-page journal entry titled “My Imaginary Penis” that was included in the writings recovered from her vehicle.
The Tennessee Star confirmed on Wednesday it obtained nearly four dozen pages of Hale’s writings from a source familiar with the Covenant investigation, including the March 11, 2023 entry discussing her desire to have a male anatomy.
Hale’s diary or journal entry begins with the title “My Imaginary Penis” and includes a crude drawing.
“My penis exists in my head. I swear to god I’m a male,” wrote Hale in the diary or journal recovered by police. She then wrote about her desire to have a penis for the purpose of heterosexual sex with a woman.
While the entry is sexually explicit in nature, Hale also wrote about her experience using the name Aiden, which she began using during her transition. Hale explained that using the name on a job application for a delivery position resulted in issues with the company’s background check.
She also described being raised a girl as “torture.” She claimed she feared “being called a dyke or a f*****” during high school before feeling liberated in college and eventually learning about transgenderism in her early 20s.
“I finally found the answer – that changing one’s gender is possible,” wrote Hale before claiming her mother opposed the idea.
Hale explained, “What she believes, how she grew up, conservatively, and that LGBTQ – especially transgender – was an enigma, nearly non-existent.”
About her parents, Hale added, “I hate parental views; how my mom sees me as a daughter – and she’d not bear to want to lose that daughter because a son would be the death of Audrey.”
On the second page of the entry, Hale continued to disparage her parents for their alleged refusal to support her transition but also wrote about the advent of puberty blockers in 2007.
“I’d kill to have those resources; 2007 was the birth of puberty blockers and a newfound discovery for treatment of non-conforming transgender children,” wrote Hale. She then acknowledged, “I was in the 6th grade, puberty already hit me.”
At the bottom of the second page, and into the third, Hale revealed that she fantasized about experiencing intercourse as a man by creating scenes with her stuffed animals.
“I can pretend to be them [and] do the things boys do [and] experience my boy self as Tony,” which Hale explained is her “stuffed boy doll” which she wrote “is like the boy I am in another form.”
In the entry, Hale proceeded to describe simulating intercourse between the “stuffed boy doll” and another stuffed animal over the course of hours.
According to Hale, she began taking photos of the fantasy enactment and became so enamored that she lost track of time and could not visit the gym.
“God, I am such a pervert.” Hale wrote, “I waste too much time in my fantasies.”
Hale wrote the entry just 16 days before committing her attack on the Covenant School, which claimed the lives of three 9-year-old students and three adults.
Star News Digital Media, Inc., which owns and operates The Star, and the publication’s editor-in-chief, Michael Patrick Leahy, are plaintiffs in lawsuits seeking to compel the Metro Nashville Police Department (MNPD) and the FBI to release Hale’s writings, including those that have been called a manifesto.
An FBI memo to MNPD Chief John Drake in May 2023, published by The Star on Tuesday, “strongly” suggested withholding the release of “legacy tokens,” including written materials, after incidents like the Covenant School shooting.



UPDATE: New Article Released With More Info


Covenant Killer Audrey Hale Expressed Frustration over Being Misgendered, Desire for ‘Boy Body’ in Recovered Journal​

source, (A)

Covenant School killer Audrey Elizabeth Hale expressed frustration over being misgendered, satisfaction with the use of male pronouns, and a desire to have a “boy body” in a journal.

The Star on Wednesday confirmed it obtained dozens of pages from Hale’s journal from a source familiar with the Covenant investigation. The journal was retrieved from Hale’s vehicle.

A biological female who identified as a transgender male at the time of her March 27, 2023, attack on the school, Hale wrote about her struggles with gender identity throughout the journal.

In an entry dated February 21, 2023, Hale wrote, “I was called a woman, lady, and ma’am all in the same day.” She wrote, in capital letters, “I hate everything about my gender,” then added, “everything hurts.”

Hale, in an entry located two pages later but also dated February 21, also wrote extensively about being greeted using masculine pronouns.

“I was actually identified as a male today and it felt right but embarrassed of my female body,” wrote Hale. In capital letters, she exclaimed, “I should not be in this body!”

According to Hale, the clerk at a local store used masculine language with her including “bud, bro, and man.” Hale wrote the experience was “accurate to who I am as a guy inside.”

She wrote, “If only all other men [and] boys could see me that way, that my body doesn’t make me a female.”

After relaying her experience being identified as a male, Hale wrote that being misgendered makes her “not want to exist.” She wrote, “I’m just damn [tired] of being called [and] identified by a gender I am not,” then lamented having a female figure.

At the top of the entry, Hale also seemed to question whether her alleged autism diagnosis was a result of her “male brain.”

Hale also seemed to connect transgenderism with religion.

On the first page of the notebook, Hale questioned, “why does my brain not work right?” Then wrote, “Cause I was born wrong.” She then wrote, “Nothing on earth can save me… never ending pain. Religion won’t save.”

In an undated, two-sentence entry approximately 60 pages later, Hale wrote, “The [cocoon] of my old self will die when I leave my body behind and the boy in me will be free; in the butterfly transformation; the real me.”

She concluded, “If God won’t give me a boy body in heaven, then Jesus is a f*****.”

The Star reported on Wednesday that Hale wrote a three-page entry titled “My Imaginary Penis.” In the entry, Hale detailed her struggles with transgenderism and being accepted by her parents. She also wrote about fantasies of heterosexual sex that she enacted with stuffed animals.

Hale also referenced transgenderism and non-binary people in a political rant, declaring, “So now in America, it makes one a criminal to have a gun or, be transgender, or non-binary. God I hate those s***head politicians.”

Both Star News Digital Media, Inc., which is the parent company of The Star, and its editor-in-chief, Michael Patrick Leahy, are plaintiffs in lawsuits seeking to compel the Metro Nashville Police Department (MNPD) and the FBI to release Hale’s writings, including those that have been called a manifesto.

On Tuesday, The Star published an FBI memo sent to MNPD Chief John Drake in May 2023. Though the memo did not mention Hale by name, it seemed to refer to such writings as “legacy tokens” and “strongly” advised against releasing them due to concerns about “false narratives” and “conspiracy theories” spreading among the public.

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Tom Pappert is the lead reporter for The Tennessee Star, and also reports for The Pennsylvania Daily Star and The Arizona Sun Times. Follow Tom on X/Twitter. Email tips to pappert.tom@proton.me.
 
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Hale wrote, “The [cocoon] of my old self will die when I leave my body behind and the boy in me will be free; in the butterfly transformation; the real me.”
Does anyone know if EGS has a boyband counterpart?
My Imaginary Penis
She also wrote about fantasies of heterosexual sex that she enacted with stuffed animals.
FREUD WAS RIGHT AGAIN. :story:
 
t's not out of the ordinary for kids, boys and girls, to make their toys have sex. It's part of normal curiosity and development. This one pooner's problem was that she was obsessed with it.
She wasn't a child playing with dolls at that age. If she was a man she would have not gone near a doll once puberty hit.
Literal penis envy. Dyke foids BTFO.
Why do so many women get jealous of having a dick? Vaginas are much more interesting for sexual stimulation than dicks are. Dicks you rub and you've basically figured their whole deal out. Vaginas have multiple sensitive spots and different types of orgasm can be achieved.
 
Why do so many women get jealous of having a dick? Vaginas are much more interesting for sexual stimulation than dicks are. Dicks you rub and you've basically figured their whole deal out. Vaginas have multiple sensitive spots and different types of orgasm can be achieved.
Curiosity is a part of human nature. I admit I would love to know what sex (penetration) feels like from a man's perspective because I'm curious and I think that's quite natural. Can you feel warmth or textural differences? What makes it feel good, is it the friction or the pressure or a mixture of different sensations? It's fascinating to think that 50 % of humans feel something that I'll never be able to. Like how some people can just wake up, open their eyes and see the world clearly without glasses. It's weird and neat to think about at the same time.

I assume the danger lies in autism and obsessive tendencies. It's one thing to be like "huh, I guess I'll never know" and an other to obsess over it until you end up with a rotting piece of arm flesh stitched between your legs. Or shooting up a school.
 
Curiosity is a part of human nature. I admit I would love to know what sex (penetration) feels like from a man's perspective because I'm curious and I think that's quite natural. Can you feel warmth or textural differences? What makes it feel good, is it the friction or the pressure or a mixture of different sensations? It's fascinating to think that 50 % of humans feel something that I'll never be able to. Like how some people can just wake up, open their eyes and see the world clearly without glasses. It's weird and neat to think about at the same time.
Position and how turned on you are influences how much you can feel. If you have an itchy thumb put it in your mouth and move it back and forth a few times. It's pretty close to what having sex feels like for men.
You ignore the autism factor, Chris Chan still plays with dolls. Makes them fuck too
Chris counts as a man?
 
I'd put good money down she was sexually abused/molested as a child and it fucked up her thinking. Possibly in a way where she was made to feel ashamed for being female.

Could be a overly southern conservative upbringing where girls are taught to reject sex, while boys get a pass because it's expected of them. (Southern Baptists are a hell of a drug, etc.) I can easily see a young woman hitting puberty and becoming a sexual being, only to be horrified because they've been taught "only boys are lustful." I've seen it first hand more than a few times now.

The obsessive fantasy role plays are just the same fujo shit we've always seen, but she just couldn't find a eventual release and lashed out in public instead of on social media.

Sounds 100% like she got full freedom when she left the house after high school and couldn't handle having pure independence and choice. This is usually a massive red flag of helicopter parenting.
 
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I'd put good money down she was sexually abused/molested as a child and it fucked up her thinking. Possibly in a way where she was made to feel ashamed for being female.
There was a molestation scandal at the school before 2008, the year of the offender's resignation. I'd provide a link, but for the past month or two my formatting box hasn't been working here disregard that, I suck cocks. Here you go. If you search on here "covenant sexual abuse", you'll see the posts/links.

It's entirely possible she was molested by a pastor.

Edit: I am a retard that somehow disabled BBCode and has been suffering on here.
 
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There was a molestation scandal at the school before 2008, the year of the offender's resignation. I'd provide a link, but for the past month or two my formatting box hasn't been working here. If you search on here "covenant sexual abuse", you'll see the posts/links.

It's entirely possible she was molested by a pastor.
Why did she never mention this being a reason in her journals then?
The obsessive fantasy role plays are just the same fujo shit we've always seen, but she just couldn't find a eventual release and lashed out in public instead of on social media.
She couldn't penetrate women with a penis, so she penetrated children with bullets.
Sounds 100% like she got full freedom when she left the house after high school and couldn't handle having pure independence and choice. This is usually a massive red flag of helicopter parenting.
She'd been daydreaming of murdering others since middle school. No amount of parenting or lack of could have fixed her repulsive personality.
 
Why did she never mention this being a reason in her journals then?
We haven't seen her journals, they've been kept under wraps. The pooner's parents gave ownership/rights to the families of the victims and they've been kicking and screaming at the Tennessee court system to force the MNPD to keep the Covenant manifesto sealed away like it's the namesake Ark, despite multiple lawsuits from conservative groups to make the MNPD release it as a public record. All we've seen are two pages that were leaked to Louder with Chowder, but apparently the Tennessee Star got their hands on 40-something more pages and are milking it for views. Hence, this entire thread.
 
Why did she never mention this being a reason in her journals then?

Like someone else said we haven't seen yet that she doesn't. But it's not unheard of at all for someone to knowingly maybe unknowingly suppress a memory like that, never type it out, say it or think of it as true and something that had actually happened.
 
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