Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[doodoocaca]

The first groverhouse of the farms?

 

[Agent Sandoval]

I am

there's all kinds of obscure experts here on the farms, i would love for someone knowedgable about contemporary u.s. house construction to take a look at those photos and give us the rundown.

my own eyes tell me the house jack built looks like dogshit & i've been told modern building techniques are insanely shoddy but a more in-depth analysis would be valuable.

EDIT: fuck it, i'm making a community events post about it.

I'm no expert, but the tiny windows are a dead giveaway. They're all the same standard size because the house was pole-barn framed. You stick a bunch of poles down into your foundation, equal distance apart, nail some support in between and basically hang your walls on the result. It's cheap and standardized to the point that pole-barn is to house building as Ikea is to carpentry. Since everything is standardized there's no room for big windows, which cost a good deal extra on their own.

 

[Hokuriku]

Expectation vs. Reality. And just like Jack, his new house looks to only be functional on one side.

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lol @ those tiny little windows, gonna be really dark indoors unless there's something drastically different going on around back. Telling that almost all of them are the same size, custom windows are e x p e n s i v e so grabbing whatever happened to be in stock at Home Depot is an obvious cost-cutting measure. Even if it means they don't match the framing of your front door whatsoever lol.

Hard to tell what the fuck the deal is with the siding from this far back, is it corrugated metal? I'm doing work on an affordable housing townhouse complex atm and hardieplank vinyl siding is perfectly serviceable, affordable, available everywhere, and looks just fine even on that level of house. Don't know why you're going with fucking industrial barn cladding for your dream home.

The fake stone-template siding butting up against that concrete slab at the entry is a really classy look too. TBF it looks like they might still have to put trim finishing in place though.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

This is the guy who has multiple strokes and was helped by doctors. Ffs

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Every couple of months someone comes here and asks why we are busy hating on a stroked out person. They should be referred to this post. Jack deserves all the strokes he gets and then some.

 

[TheOtherSideofMakeBelieve]

As many have said it looks to be polebarn construction. Looks like a bizarrely upscale farmhouse minus the farm

It'd look a million times better with proper siding, or more natural with a tin roof. As it is it looks like the exterior finishing was meant to be as cheap as possible while following some HOA rules or something

That stone central gable has to be one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen, like a weird detail you'd see an LLM that didn't quite understand what a house is supposed to be crank out

I'm more of an interior finishing guy (trim, sheetrock, painting) so I'm more curious about the inside, I doubt there'll be much to say aside from "It looks bad" though but hopefully we'll see

 

[Pig Cups]

As for the house, it looks like they cut corners with the design. I think they found someone to try and replicate a house they saw in a brochure and then used cheap building materials.

Must have ordered the house on Wish. It looks more like the pro shop/bar on a golf course than ever.

It looks like an utter piece of shit, but the big question I have is who’s going to move into it, and who’s going to stay in 103 Thomas Ct? The latter would make the most sense for Jack and Tammy since they’re older, and the single-story layout seems ideal for Jack’s limited range of mobility/evacuation needs in an emergency. C’mon, there’s no way Fatso is climbing stairs in his current state, so what’s the point?

Come to think of it…is there even an upstairs? Or just a high-ceilinged garage? Then again, it sounds like its primary functions will be junk hoard storage and, of course, the new studio that Jack’s been creaming himself over, so Jack and Tammy will be the likely occupants while Junior and Bri stick to 103 Thomas. They’re probably telling the kids it’ll be their starter home, with the caveat of them being required to care for Tammy in her old age/be present to diaper Jack when he suffers another event and lingers awhile longer before finally dying.

 

[Hokuriku]

That house came already assembled from the store on a semi truck, I’m not certain that they even laid the foundation fully, I see the porch and that’s it.

PL but I've worked for residental architecture offices that use factory-manufactured wall/foundation systems and they look exponentially better than this

 

[WarJams]

Why the hell would somebody this fat build a raised house?

Seriously, is the house in a flood zone or something? Did he build on one of those dry creek bed lots that shifty and unscrupulous bastards sell to idiots that seem picturesque... until the first time it rains? Why not just build slab on grade? It's cheaper, and it's just better.

 

[Caligura]

It seems like Jack took some inspiration from a certain Finnish RPG.

 

[Skeleton Warrior]

Send that pic of the house in to the next Scuffed Realtor Sam Hyde and Nick stream.

 

[Ghostse]

Expectation vs. Reality. And just like Jack, his new house looks to only be functional on one side.

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It looks like garbage but its probably structurally ok, just tons of waste and its going to look like shit when its not properly maintained.

I'd point out the faux-field stone cladding around the foundation that is going to age like pre-rotten ass. tl;dr Middle Tennesee is wet. Lots of humidity, lots of rain, moist soil. the mortar holding them fucks to the cinderblock is already starting to dissolve. And unlike facade-brick (which suffers the same issues), the faux-field stone is usually very shallow so it doesn't take all that much for it to wash away and your decorative rocks to fall off. otoh, at the ratet this dude seems to be going maybe that's not an issue for him.

The next thing i'd point out is that siding. That looks like steel barn siding. Now I could see that on a stand alone garage but... It hails in mid TN not infrequently, and it also has lots of thunderstorms with real, actual midwest rain that often comes in sideways. That house gonna be LOUD.

The final thing I'd point out is the huge & wasteful attic. That's almost a 2nd story but with no windows its just a big air trap. I guess if you decide to open a prison camp in your home it'd be a good place to put "the box" but my nigga just spent the extra 20K to add some dormers and finish it and get some more living space.

That stone central gable has to be one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen, like a weird detail you'd see an LLM that didn't quite understand what a house is supposed to be crank out

This is not the only one of these I've seen, sadly. Its a not-wholly-uncommon "add" because its cheap.
tl;dr, you have extra faux-fieldstone and it breaks up the monotony of the siding.

Hes a tourist in his own town lmao. Nothing wrong with hitting up a chain restaurant now and again but those places are the only restaurants he goes to, it's too familiar and guud to part from.

Yup. There's nothing bad with a chain restaurant. There's even on its face nothing wrong with going to an overpriced chain; Mortons and the Palm are chains and overpriced, but you are overpaying for good quality and a nice atmosphere/service. There's nothing even defaultly wrong with getting a steak at Applebees or Outback if you're going to be there, or traveling and want a safe option.

What's wrong is going going to Overpriced Outback specifically for the steak.[/i]

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

Every couple of months someone comes here and asks why we are busy hating on a stroked out person. They should be referred to this post. Jack deserves all the strokes he gets and then some.

he's the type of guy who goes into cardiac arrest, taking the whole floor to bring him back alive, but he'll say it was god who saved him. he's ungrateful to everyone around him.

 

[D_Tractor]

Expectation vs. Reality. And just like Jack, his new house looks to only be functional on one side.

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[Marc]

What's wrong is going to Overpriced Outback specifically for the steak.

It's a step beyond that: He's not going for the steak - He's going for the sake of filming himself ordering the steak; so he can larp as a food critic writing off a business expense. In fact, the quality of the steak doesn't matter; because he orders it blue and ruins any quality of cut by dumping half a pound of cold butter on it. I don't think he even tastes the meat; so much as he's a size queen with the cutlets we see him struggling to choke down: He uses all that butter as lubricant to swallow his gud meet chunx whole - but is too stroked-out to notice the meat's sliding down into one of his lungs. I suspect most of Jack's chronic death rattle gurgling results from aspirated food; which is why he associated barely being able to breathe with feeling full. Jack's particular vice is the glutton's equivalent of a Bad Dragon dildo.

His carnivore food “hacks” are just the same meats, cheeses, and eggs rearranged into different forms. I don’t get how he isn’t getting tired of this. I get that he can’t eat a vegetable without a heaping side of mayonnaise, but there’s a reason that diets this restrictive typically don’t last long. Given Jack’s lack of impulse control, I doubt he’s actually following it completely. I don’t see why he can’t just have a grilled lean cut of meat with a side of roasted vegetables instead of attempting to make carnivore “ravioli.”

Pretending to be "carnivore" is merely the last refuge of a man who desperately needs to rationalize the road his vices have led him down. For Jack, the weight of the guilt in admitting that an eating disorder and absence of willpower have tragically doomed his and his family's souls through depriving them the capacity to be happy through means other than carnal indulgence is worse than dying from the denial of it:

Spoiler

Because Jack was too hopelessly addicted to binging on calorie-dense foods to exercise portion control, everyone else experiencing more success with the common sense-approach of not eating so much fucking food speaks to one of Jack's many, many inadequacies and; therefore, needs to be taken down a peg - Jack is heroically performing some civic duty by telling people who obviously lead lives healthier than his that they are the ones who should be experiencing his regrets; because he's the only sane, straight, masculine man in a 'librul world full of fit, effeminate faggitts. How can he fail, if it's the world that has failed him? How can you expect an unhealthy man to stop eating meat, if meat is the only healthy food? How can anyone claim to be healthier than Jack, when only Jack is eating healthy? Jack isn't just setting the record straight for all you sub-Jack sheeple: He's tilting the cosmic scales back toward good guys like him - Where they should and would be; if it wasn't for all the evils of this world tempting gullible people to not act like Jack.

Jack's morality is pretty simple to understand: He has one eye, and everything he sees has the word "WRONG" spelled out over it from fragments of his retina.

And Jack would insist that none of this constant overflow of resentment he literally broadcasts toward those demonstrably more capable than him in the task of resisting the temptation offered by the slow death of fast food is connected to his being a disastrously short, violently bald, infuriatingly vapid, and sickeningly obese sluggard with an oral fixation and baseless entitlement to unearned social status resulting from never realizing his fantasies; because he is just as the Good Lord made him: Perfect in every way.

Why bother with learning to cook, when you can upload videos of yourself pretending that you know how to? Why bother with cultivating a real fanbase, when you can buy bots to pad your subscriber counts, and then pretend that they like you when you pretend to address them? Why bother with following a doctor's orders, when prayer can cure anything? Why bother praying at all, when you're already God's favorite? Why bother living as a Christly example, when your reserved booth in the Big Cow in the Sky is already guaranteed? Why bother asking anyone for forgiveness, when your buddy deity already agrees with you that you have never wronged anyone; that it is actually they who have wronged you; and that your patience with them demonstrates the proof of your piety? Why demonstrate any degree of respect for the people you depend on, when they owe it to you? Why attempt to do anything more than shit, and eat, and shit, when you've already done your best; and deserve a treat for it?

Jack's refusal to answer such questions is at least sufficient to explain why people hope his next, inevitable stroke is debilitating to the point that he is only able to experience the sensation of hemorrhoid pain.

 

[User 170096]

Is this on Zillow?

 

[moocow]

Is it just me or does the sidewalk look like it's sagging towards the middle (where the corner/turn is leading up to the door)? Did they bother trying to grade properly before plopping this sucker down?

 

[Flesh Ribbons]

I'm waiting for this new house to inevitably get hit by a tornado and the original house they bought ends up unscathed white this new house ends up shredded.

 

[p1138]

Is this on Zillow?

No, it's not built yet. Seems he bought both lots at 103 Thomas Ct and 101 Thomas Ct. The house visible in the background is the current 103 place.

 

[Stop Sign]

 

[Adamska]

His carnivore food “hacks” are just the same meats, cheeses, and eggs rearranged into different forms. I don’t get how he isn’t getting tired of this. I get that he can’t eat a vegetable without a heaping side of mayonnaise, but there’s a reason that diets this restrictive typically don’t last long. Given Jack’s lack of impulse control, I doubt he’s actually following it completely. I don’t see why he can’t just have a grilled lean cut of meat with a side of roasted vegetables instead of attempting to make carnivore “ravioli.”

He's doing this because he's lazy, clearly doesn't want to cook, and is in the middle of a mental toddler tantrum due to him constantly ruining his meatgasm by remembering he can't eat noodles or bread. Sure he only sees them as meat holders, but it's still edible, and he still can't eat them.

He's gonna spam sad frittata shit until he stops bothering to fake his diet as a narc control mechanism used to ignore criticism about his health.