Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[WatterBottle]

I wish Nick a million moving violations

 

[unimpressed cabbage]

Personally, I would grant amnesty to just about anybody who previously defended Nick but now accepts who and what he is. I kinda have to adopt that position, because I myself was a Nick defender back in 2019. You don't see me shitting on @anionfarflung for being late to the critical side…

I concur and admire the generosity. There is a big difference though between realizing in 2019 vs. suddenly realizing well into 2023/2024. I don’t even mean onlookers who legitimately may not have known from not being terminally online, but any of his buddies who streamed with him into 2023-2024 for non-law purposes—especially those who partied with him in person like Mindset, can get fucked as far as I’m concerned.
Sean and maybe an occasional boomer like Gosney are excluded for obvious reasons.

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

Alright, which of you is this? This is gay.

Spoiler: LOCALS Fagging

 

[Balldo's Gate]

IANAL but I don't think "the guy was being an asshole to me" would cut it for probable cause of DUI. People can be assholes without having any drugs in them. The cop can force you to get out of the car if he wants to, but if it's clear that you're not going to be cooperative and he doesn't have any other basis for reasonable suspicion of a crime, it's probably not worth it to him. That would be my reading of the situation at least.

According to the citation he was going 25 over and nearly drifting off the road.

Then when stopped he refused to roll down the window all the way and screeched "YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY BULLSHIT LYING FUCK OFF".

I'm more than a little surprised that there was no mention of a field sobriety test.

Maybe Cynthia does have a point and each of these traffic check bodycams contain seething Balldo kino

Yeah I have to admit, this one surprised me. It sounds like a doozy.

Alright, which of you is this? This is gay.

I recognize that username as someone who is or was a long time fan and member of Locals. I think Still Life likes to go off on this person.

 

[Associate Rick]

The Child Neglecting Lolyer

Oh, they stink a fair bit, but you realize that
He claims it's the lies of some Christian prudes
Since the cops burst inside and held his childs hand tight
He'll do some copesplaining tonight

With his Forest Gump haircut, we'll laugh at this coomer
Until he seethes with internal narc rage
Watch his nose become redder as he becomes madder
Reading the troll chats from his former fans

From the sex stores of Spicer to the floors of gay 90's
There's no one who neglects a child better than Nick
So he'll pour out a glass, show the whole world his ass
And win Julays two years in a row

Oh, his lady's a goblin and she spends all her time
With reruns of Star Trek pilled out of her mind
As the wife of a cokehead, it ensures that they have
No time and no care to provide for their kids

So pour out your scorn, a troll chat or a comment
The seething will flow when he sees what you say
Post his mugshot in chat and remind him he's fat
As we hear the copesplaining tonight

From the sex stores of Spicer to the floors of gay 90's
There's no one who neglects a child better than Nick
So he'll pour out a glass, show the whole world his ass
And win Julays two years in a row

Oh, the guests are ball washers, they come for subscribers
But end up short changed every time they appear
Cos the reason that we watch is the one who can't pull up
Who's currently crashing his life and career

Original

Spoiler: Lyrics

Oh, he drinks a fair bit but you realize that
It just helps get his noggin a joggin' along
With his glass by his side and his kids asleep tight
We'll hear some lawsplaining tonight

With his microphone muted, we'll laugh at this boomer
Until he explains that it part of the plan
Watch his face become redder as he becomes madder
Raging at idiots from Twit and Er land

From the white shores of Nairn to the Hills of Glenlivet
There's no-one who 'splains the law better than nick
So pour out a glass for the ones who have passed
To make the law what we have now

Oh, his lady is fair, and she handles herself
With the grace of one who has born many children
As the wife of a law man, she makes sure that he has
The time and place to provide for them there

So pour out an Ardbeg, a bowmore, or laphroig
The spirits flow as the ones sued get unemployed
So pour out a glass for the deposed on Twitter
As we hear lawspaining Tonight

From the white shores of Nairn to the Hills of Glenlivet
There's no-one who 'splains the law better than nick
So pour out a glass for the ones who have passed
To make the law what we have now

Oh, the guests are all plentiful, from Doug T to Drexel
They bring their perspective and spice to the mix
But the reason we're here and the one that we cheer
Is the one who is showcasing us his career

 

[Procrastinhater]

Don’t know if it’s for April squirting or just to sit naked on it, but NICK! IF YOUARE READING THIS, ILL PAY GOOD MONEY FOR THAT TOWEL!

Goddamn nigger I know you're doing your bit but its a really disgusting fucking bit to read when you stumble across it when you're eating.

 

[Sharpeteer]

Goddamn nigger I know you're doing your bit but its a really disgusting fucking bit to read when you stumble across it when you're eating.

Fapcop needs his own movie. He tries to save Kayla and April from the horrible abuser Nick, and gets into all kinds of Fapcop shenanigans, and gets in trouble with the Fap Bureau of Investigation.

 

[unimpressed cabbage]

Maybe Cynthia does have a point and each of these traffic check bodycams contain seething Balldo kino.

Edit to add:
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What was her point? I recall her sperging about Nick (but heavens not anything that would slut shame Kayla) because he didn’t value her Locals nudes.

Also, does anyone know if it’s even legal for him to be driving right now? How can he not get arrested for this?

 

[thebigdream]

New poll time for when will Nick lose his driver’s license

Don't need to drive your kids around if you can't drive

 

[Chazzed Up]

If a woman decides, or needs, to become a SAHM, the responsible thing to do is to get some kind of escape fund together just in case daddy goes insane. With only one parent bringing in an income, you'd make plans for if that parent died (life insurance) or became unable to work (emergency fund, personal disability insurance, ncome protection). You should also make plans for if he cheats, becomes abusive, or tries to take advantage of your stay-at-home status. I think most abusive men, like Nick, are slippery, skilled liars, so "seeing the red flags" isn't enough.

I think the better idea would be couples to jointly own assets. Keeping money stashed away to escape a partner seems like it's injecting distrust in a way that is toxic. Sharing ownership indicates a partnership in which nobody is in a position of weakness.

 

[MysteriousStranger]

So what does he think his content is going to be?

I started watching him during the Weeb Wars. I didn't care about the topic, but here was a guy who was able to make sense of legalese and was entertaining, too. I had some kind of project (I forget what now) that made those long streams useful. I enjoyed it a lot. Then the case went to court, not a single thing he said came true, and I was done.

Not a law channel? *cough*bullshit*cough*

Now he talks about his studio. He talks about how he can't talk about his personal life. His standup is appalling. What's his content going to be? And, in the absence of drama, will anyone tune in to hear it?

 

[Captain Manning]

Maybe Cynthia does have a point and each of these traffic check bodycams contain seething Balldo kino.

Yeah I have to admit, this one surprised me. It sounds like a doozy.

There is nothing to suggest that the previous traffic stops are all that impressive. The reports don't seem to suggest so. So I still stand by my previously stated opinion as to the previous stops.

However, per the report that dropped today, this most recent one (that we know of so far) that occurred April 6th does sound like it might be pretty funny.

I would probably support getting the body cam on that one. It might be worth it just to hear "You are absolutely bullshit lying fuck off." Funnier still if there's corresponding dash cam showing him drifting over the fog line.

That said, it's not my place to tell Null how I think the site's financial resources should be spent. I think that's what irritated people the most about what Cynthia was doing. She's bossy AF. She's also supposedly some rich NY socialite, so I dunno why she needs the Farms to drop coin.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

So what does he think his content is going to be?

You know that drunk guy at a bar who won't stop rambling? Yeah that's Nick's content.

 

[anionfarflung]

Alright, which of you is this? This is gay.

-geg-'s been negging Nick in Locals since the arrest. Never occurred to me he might be on the Farms. I guess he could just be a lurker though.

 

[Captain Manning]

Alright, which of you is this? This is gay.

View attachment 6097331

View attachment 6097335

View attachment 6097333

Spoiler: LOCALS Fagging

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-geg-'s been negging Nick in Locals since the arrest. Never occurred to me he might be on the Farms. I guess he could just be a lurker though.

Kinogay also frequently takes shit from the Farms and posts it on Twitter as "GNN News." This being no exception. Just because shit originates from the Farms doesn't mean here is where people get it.

 

[AnOminous]

He didn't pay the 100k bail. He used a bail bondsman and paid $10k.

It was $50K and he paid $5K.

IANAL but I don't think "the guy was being an asshole to me" would cut it for probable cause of DUI. People can be assholes without having any drugs in them.

Just the driving alone was probable cause.

 

[Potato CPA]

Apologies if I missed this earlier in the thread - Hadn't seen it brought up, and perhaps it doesn't really matter due to the unconditional bail. But in the tour of the new studio, on the Elissa Clips channel, you can see what appear to be Booze boxes, if not the actual booze itself (presumably in the boxes). Specifically the blue one labeled Whistlepig, which is indeed a brand of whiskey Rekieta has spoken about before.
I'm not savvy enough to figure out how to unblur & clear this up to read the others. But this might be enough to discuss how he has not, in fact, cleared the liquor out. Or if he has, he kept the fancy boxes, which is not the behavior of someone who wants to clean up their act. Like the empty fifths up on the plant shelf of any good alcoholic.

 

[Angry Crustacean]

It was $50K and he paid $5K.

I think they meant for Nick and Kayla, it was $50K each.

 

[Long Time Caller]

Some other bits:
- Kayla wanted to start a relationship with a guy she knew from a Star Trek game she was playing on her phone, but Nick vetoed it

Whore.

Remember mobile star trekkers:

 

[Third World Aristocrat]

Rekieta Law: Do what I say, Don't do what I do - A Balldoverse™ Story

Spoiler: elb clips - for less boofering

EDIT: Made some grammatical corrections (23th → 23rd), and updated a date that I forgot to during the editing of the video (March 29th → April 6th).