reddit General

[neurotardvirgin]

looks like nu-reddit word salad is on the menu today boys

 

[MetokurGroomedMe]

i can't believe we made it all the way to 1488 pages. to celebrate, here's one of the saddest things i've ever read on reddit, courtesy of /r/zerocovidcommunity.



and they can't even go out to find new people because that would involve them leaving their homes in the first place. people like this sad sack aren't even looking at other issues that their 'covid conscious' behavior has left them dealing with.



sometimes they can understand that they're the ones who are weird, but they stop just shy; this one is licking the window of self-awareness but he just doesn't get it, i guess. i think a lot of these people are just coping really hard about having to do things in the real world again after getting so comfy working from home.

 

[Blarmed&Dangerous]

A guy buys a truck from a car company, accelerator gets stuck (is what it sounds like), car crashes. Tesla tells them to handle it through insurance, like every other car in history.
Now apparently there's an entire sub dedicated to making fun of.... a car?


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I want you all to know when I clicked on this in a fugue like state of shock, and I read those words, I walked outside, to my car. I opened the door and got into my car. And to my absolute shock and aw, you can rev the car with the break on. Then, in a state of more shock, I walked to my dirt bike I've had since I was a child, and like I was 15 again, just to make sure, I tested that in fact, I could 100% eat shit like when I was figuring out how to do a wheelie.

And my dear sweet neighbor, coming home from the store, I asked her if she had ever driven a car you couldn't rev with the brake on, and she looked at me, groceries in hand, like a cow looks at an oncoming train and says "No?" with the slight lilt in tone at the end that suggests utter befuddlement.

And I walk back on and find, that rather than just laughing at the accelerator getting stuck on, or maybe pointing out the issues with pure digital motor systems, they have convinced themselves that since Ford returned from Hyperborea with the Yakubian Automobile, you have never been able to engage the accelerators and the brakes at the same time.

I want to be very clear about this: this is why we called things "retarded" before Current Year. This is why "retarded" was such a common part of our vocabulary in the before times. It is for this precise instance.

This is someone who is not been called "fucking retarded" enough in their lives.

 

[holyhandgrenade]

I didn't realize we were on the nazi page, I guess I will share something. This is just embarrassing.

archive

This comic makes no sense even with context so just have this one panel

archive

 

[Beautiful Border]

Thousands of redditors over on /AITAH falling for the most obvious engagement bait I've seen in my life.

How do I know for a fact this is fake? Because OP just casually slips this in the comments, having not even mentioned it in the main post:

He's admitted to stealthing me.. as in poking holes in condoms and taking condoms off during sex. He posted that he thought pregnancy would "fix me" and make me a "better wife". So yeah, his ideas have lead to real life harm.

Assuming this is true, then that alone is reason enough to divorce him because that's a form of sexual assault. Literally everything else is irrelevant.

If this were real and actually happening to someone, then this is what the focus of the post would be about. "AITA for filing for divorce after discovering my husband is stealthing me?". An actual person and not a creative writer would care way more about that than anything else, and they also wouldn't be daft enough to feel like they have to ask strangers on the Internet if that's crossing a line.

 

[Noble Redditor]

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looks like nu-reddit word salad is on the menu today boys

The perfect images to kick off page 1488 because you know whoever wrote those posts are crackers. Just remember wiggers, no matter how much you try to fight it, your blood will always be white. We must secure the upvotes of our people and a future for wigger redditors. Seig heil!!

Edit: I did nazi that coming!!

Edit 2: wow thanks for all the support on this post!!

 

[Maurice Maine]

I think our husband here dodged a bullet.

 

[Nigger Cobson]

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looks like nu-reddit word salad is on the menu today boys

This is just ebonics, not redditspeak. A stereotypical redditor would use a bit of ebonics in order to seem hip but they'll use it alongside pinko buzzwords and liberal Newspeak.

 

[Notorious AGP]

Just reddit jannies doing what they do best!:




Looking at the revision date of the wiki link in the post, the infamous powerjanny u/Merari01 (of r/WhitePeopleTwitter, r/comics, among others) looks responsible for the post:

 

[Gutpuke]

Happy page 1488!
Here I bring you two gifts of reddit retardation

Redditors still fear Kyle Rittenhouse

 

[Retreaded Tire]

Reddit occasionally impresses me. Top comments all point out that the bf clearly has outstanding warrants.

None of them ask why a 30 year old is dating a college student, but baby steps.

r/agedlikemilk
(They are all about calling out the age gap these days)

 

[DumbDude43]

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I think our husband here dodged a bullet.

this should be required reading for all the chauvinist bros who think their magic dicks will cure their girls of leftist brainrot
>women adopt their husbands politics you just have to be a leader bro
>married women become right wing, just fuck her good bro

 

[BobbyBriggs69420]

this should be required reading for all the chauvinist bros who think their magic dicks will cure their girls of leftist brainrot
>women adopt their husbands politics you just have to be a leader bro
>married women become right wing, just fuck her good bro

That one didn't lead hard enough bro, was a soyboy, probably owned a "smartphone", probably never even took her to church. And by that i mean a real church ofc. (No I'm not going to define that)

Unrelated, The bigotry bible a bit up itt is a work of art and I'm quite impressed jannies could do that. The effort put in reminds me of a several day long song writing session, me and some friends back in 7th grade but we would have been lucky to have even get even gotten 13% of that, it was pre-tubes times.

 

[JesusChristDenton]

Redditors still fear Kyle Rittenhouse
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Unless this Redditor robbed a store/diddled a kid/beat his wife, he has nothing to fear from Kyle.

 

[Grin Machine]

Just reddit jannies doing what they do best!:

-snip-

>Racism against white people, attacks on police, and de-personing of JK Rowling are explicitly not bigotry and allowed chuds
>"Every human deserves to be treated as a human. No exceptions."

Really makes you think

 

[Caligura]

Blatant double standard on r/ForwardsFromKlandma;
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https://archive.is/s4U5r

If this tweet was about any other ethnicity, they’d be all over it.

The Bantu race (aka 99% of niggos) are destined to hell for the crimes they have committed against the Pygmies and Khoisan peoples, just sayin'. You think the Nazis were bad? Look up the Bantu expansion.

Also happy 1488 pages!

 

[Elwood P. Dowd]

Saw this on Twitter. Apologies if it has already been posted, it goes back a few weeks.
Reddit / https://archive.is/wip/tXsQx


Someone assumed I was a transwoman, pitched me gender affirmation surgery and now I'm extremely self-conscious about my face and body (self.TwoXChromosomes)

submitted 12 days ago * by theothermongoose

Spoiler: continued...text

This past weekend, I (a cis woman) was at Pride Fest (an outdoor Pride street festival) in my town and saw a table giving away the new Pride flags. I went over and took one for my desk. Right away, one of 20-something women working the table greeted me and told me this was the table for Dr. So-and-So who is one of the few/only doctors in the area who does gender-affirmation surgery, handing me some brochures. I replied, "that's great we have a local doctor providing this kind of important health care service for people" and was about to thank her for the flag and walk away when she barreled on with "Dr. So-and-So does facial, chest and body surgery. He has experience with [lists different procedures]. It's too bad he just left. He could have told you more about the types of procedures he could offer you. The number for the office is here and you can give him a call to set up an appointment. He has a very personalized approach and can go over the types of face and body procedures that would be right for you specifically. The great thing about Dr. So-and-So is that [launches into a rundown of his college and medical school education and training]."

The whole time, I was standing there kinda paralyzed, not knowing how to respond. I'm fairly petite and was wearing an oversized band tee with leggings so you couldn't see my (admittedly A-cup) breasts or wide hips well. I had on a baseball cap and large sunglasses that were covering part of my face, although due to some unexpected weight loss, my face *is* more angular than usual. In short, I know I wasn't at my "most feminine." When she first referred to me getting the procedures, I just chuckled inside. However, as she kept going, I found myself getting more and more upset as the fact she thought I was a trans woman who is not passing well kept getting pounded into my head. When she finally finished, I could only manage to say "Ok, I'll pass this information on if I come across someone who could use it." I put the flag back on the table and walked away because I didn't want a reminder of this moment.

I feel silly getting so self-conscious and self-critical over this and still being upset two days later. I've been a women in this society for decades. I have seen and heard a ton of comments and criticism about women's bodies and how they *should* look and 99% of the time, I let it fly past me. For example, I've always been happy with my small breasts that make being a runner a lot easier. But damn it, being directly told the type of things I could fix about my face and body specifically hit me harder than I would have expected. Especially from someone who regularly sees people who come in for procedures to look more feminine or masculine. I'm finding that every time I look in the mirror now, the first thing I notice are the parts of my body and especially my face that aren't feminine enough or are giving off a masculine vibe. I actually felt self-conscious enough to do a full-face of make up these past two days. I wish I could let this go and not have these thoughts of not looking enough like a woman cycling through my head all the time.

P.S. I do want to say that I understand the woman didn't mean to offend me. I assume she was an over-enthusiastic employee who wanted to promote the doctor and get word out about his work and who didn't remotely comprehend the implications and impact of assuming someone's gender identity OR suggesting to anyone (cis or trans) that they could do more to align better with their gender identity.

Edit: Fixed space between trans and woman. Apologies for the mistake in the title! Wish I could fix it!

Edit 2: THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO LEFT KIND AND REASSURING MESSAGES!! I am feeling better about it now that so many of you pointed out how they are essentially business and the woman was likely doing a rehearsed sales pitch. It's helped me look at the situation a little differently. I think I'm going to reach out to the office and let them know of my experience so they can educate their representatives if they are there next year (or at any other event).

 

[JustSomeDong]

Someone assumed I was a transwoman, pitched me gender affirmation surgery and now I'm extremely self-conscious about my face and body (self.TwoXChromosomes)

Its funny, but to me, the real comedy comes from the mental image of a plastic surgeon(yeah, hes kinda jewy in my head, sue me) and his shill/carnival barker hawking "gender affirming care" like an old time huckster selling Uncle Pete's Miracle Water! It'll cure what ails ya, I tell ya what!

The days of snake oil and magic elixirs are back. I'm amused when we don't learn from history.

 

[holyhandgrenade]

This is just extremely low effort rage bait and predditors just eat it up

archive

 

[Crex Crex]

I didn't realize we were on the nazi page, I guess I will share something. This is just embarrassing.
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"This isn't insulting!!! It's really cool!!!"