On an unseasonably cool July afternoon, the sun’s rays reflected off the water and onto the banks of the Rock River. It was a peaceful day in the small Illinois town of Rock Falls, but Gordon could not share in this peace. For some reason, unbeknownst to him has much as any onlooker, Gordon had made a post on a certain tranny murder gossip forum. As was a theme in the middle-aged anime enthusiast’s life, this post had backfired spectacularly. Rather than come to his aid in bringing his digital enemies to heel, the denizens of the forum had, in fact, turned their scouring gaze onto him. The cheese-drinking Internet terror squad had dredged up every modicum of information about his personal life with a speed that rivaled the haste with which parents ushered their small children away from him.
For Gordon, his path was clear. With no job or family of his own, and hobbies (namely masturbation and watching anime) which he could enjoy from the comfort of his 60 dollar Walmart computer chair, Gordon had all the time in the world and opted to stand firm where scores before him had fled; he would engage these stalker children. But how? How could one man stand against an army?
“The die has been cast and the way for myself has been made clear, sure as the morning stubble may sprout from my second chin, I will overwhelm these trolls by giving them *so much* embarrassing information about myself that they simply will not be able to handle it!” Gordon thought to himself as he cracked his knuckles and called for his mother to don the extra large Copperfit wrist guards over his hands. It was war.