What if boogie doesn't have cancer because he, in fact, is cancer?
Don't forget to swing by the Foodie Beauty thread to point out how it's weird that a Muslim married her because pork is haraam
What is the extent of Stevens vanity? He's clearly not vain enough to be repulsed by his obese body, or even care his image at this point. Why would the teeth matter? He fully embraces being a disgusting fat sack of shit.
He's generally not willing to even pretend to perform basic hygiene or grooming because he's too fucking lazy. The only exception is when he's actively trying to rope in hookers. He didn't care about his teeth until post-divorce, which imo is telling. He's cheap, and probably realized that by getting a haircut on occasion and taking up the offer to fix that Mountain Dew meth mouth and ameliorate the rot smell, he'd gross out the hookers less, and could probably negotiate a lower rate. I think the post-bypass weight loss might've been a major cause of him ramping up his abuse of Dez 1.0 as well. It likely started once he had the money, but worsened by a lot once he wasn't so fat he couldn't function without Dez anymore. At that point she was just the last obstacle to living his coombrain fantasy where a woman who looks like the porn actresses he jerks off to would ever be seen hanging around his stank cave. Or as he sees it, "do better." But he's an emotionally incontinent manchild, so he couldn't just sit her down for a calm, reasonable conversation where he admitted upfront he wanted her to leave so he could hire live-in hookers at leisure, and offer her the same divorce settlement she ended up getting anyway.
Another clue this is a major motivator for any vanity on display is how badly he's let himself go once he was comfortable enough to feel like Dezi was firmly in his orbit. Not just the jewfro, food crumbs, and grease, but also a sharp acceleration of his weight gain. There's a reason he was so eager to do that repulsive Slave Leia roleplay - as I'm sure he reminds her constantly, he pays for Dezi's entire life (plus junk food, vacations, and probably sharing his drugs) and she has no prospects if she leaves, so he now gives zero fucks if he gets too fat to waddle to the door and retrieve food deliveries. My theory is Dezi's parents threatened to kick her out or start charging her rent once she turned 18 (or whatever arbitrary age), and being an anxiety-ridden dim bulb who never worked before, she was so terrified at attempting independence and lacking prospects that an agreement with Boogie to take her on as soon as she reached the age of majority seemed like a godsend. He's easily the type of manipulative shitbag to groom her into believing there is no worse fate than working a job and she's too worthless/incompetent to have any hope of getting one anyway.
At this point, I'm thinking 85% chance that the gnome was pissed about boogie attempting to throw him under the bus to coffeezilla, and invited desTINY on to get back at him, and cause a sideshow to revive his dying business venture, without knowing desTINY was gonna salt the fucking earth. 15% chance the whole thing is just one big gayop planned from the start.
It could have been that Keem was thinking about ending Lolcow Live soon anyway and thought about springing the "Boogie is a cancer faker" trap to blow the whole thing up in a giant spectacle that would attract enough attention, while leaving the option open to continue it without Boogie if this shitshow happened to go off well enough to reinvigorate enough interest to coast on for a while. I'm positive everyone involved knew Boogie was absolutely full of shit from the beginning and probably earlier, what I'm less sure of is whether Keem planned ahead to keep this in his back pocket to use as an ending for the podcast if or when he decided to pull the plug. Wings was the one who scored the killshot by pointing out the obvious, so they all had to have been well aware, it was no coincidence that nobody touched the topic until Keem lined up the right moment to pull the trigger. At minimum this indicates Boogie was such a lazy, insufferable, whiny asshole that these people considered him of zero use to bring in views or money, and after being around him a lot, came to hate him personally enough to play the long game with the intention of setting him up when convenient. All of them are a bunch of clout-hungry, drama-mongering, duplicitous, backstabbing faggots, to be clear, but Boogie does the same shit and worse so I can't object to this instance.
Boogie itching to give some milquetoast take like “no matter how you feel about Trump, we can all agree that political violence is bad.” Does he still do that?
God has a sense of humor timing this perfectly so that Boogie is forced into internet exile at the exact time of a major sentinel event that he could easily hijack to make about himself (by whoring out the angle about how St Boogie's felony taught him the importance of gun safety, then patting himself on the ass for being a fence sitter rather than partisan sperg). Old Testament God would've just given Boogie actual cancer but this is still pretty funny.
