Disaster Why Are So Many Americans Choosing to Not Have Children? - It’s probably not selfishness, experts say. Even young adults who want children see an increasing number of obstacles.


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Researchers say that societal factors — like rising child care costs, unaffordable housing and slipping optimism about the future — have made it harder to raise children in the United States.

By Teddy Rosenbluth
Published July 31, 2024

For years, some conservatives have framed the declining fertility rate of the United States as an example of eroding family values, a moral catastrophe in slow motion.

JD Vance, the Republican vice-presidential nominee, recently came under fire for saying in 2021 that the nation was run by “childless cat ladies” who “hate normal Americans for choosing family over these ridiculous D.C. and New York status games.”

Last year, Ashley St. Clair, a Fox News commentator, described childless Americans this way: “They just want to pursue pleasure and drinking all night and going to Beyoncé concerts. It’s this pursuit of self-pleasure in replace of fulfillment and having a family.”

Researchers who study trends in reproductive health see a more nuanced picture. The decision to forgo having children is most likely not a sign that Americans are becoming more hedonistic, they say. For one thing, fertility rates are declining throughout the developed world.

Rather, it indicates that larger societal factors — such as rising child care costs, increasingly expensive housing and slipping optimism about the future — have made it feel more untenable to raise children in the United States.

“I don’t see it as a lack of a commitment to family,” said Mary Brinton, a sociologist who studies low fertility rates at Harvard. “I think the issues are very much on the societal level and the policy level.”

To some extent, experts like Dr. Brinton share the concern that Americans are having less children.

Fertility rates have been generally falling in the United States since the end of the baby boom in the mid-1960s. That decline accelerated after 2008, a trend that has been widely attributed to the Great Recession, said Kenneth Johnson, a demographer at the University of New Hampshire.

Everybody thought, maybe they’ll just delay having their babies for a few years, and then they’ll make up for it when the economy and the country gets back on its feet,” he said. “It never happened.”

Last year, the total fertility rate dipped to 1,616.5 births per 1,000 women, a historic low that is far less than the rate needed to maintain the population size, 2,100 births per 1,000 women.

A recent survey by the Pew Research Center found that a growing number of adults said they were unlikely to ever have children. Even before the Covid-19 pandemic, nearly half of U.S. counties reported more deaths than births.

In addition, the average age at which Americans are marrying and starting to have children has increased, most likely contributing to the fertility decline. In 2023, the median age of women who were marrying for the first time was 28 — about six years older than in the 1980s.

The average age when women give birth to their first child has also risen substantially, from age 20 during the baby boom to 27 in 2022.

Immigration to the United States helps offset population loss. Yet experts fear that shrinking generations could cause schools to close, economic development to stall and social programs like Social Security to run an even larger deficit.

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JD Vance, the Republican vice-presidential nominee, has proposed tax breaks and more voting power for parents. But experts say there is little evidence to suggest that policies rewarding people for having children are successful on their own.

Notably, studies of the reasons behind the fertility decline don’t reveal a dramatic shift in the desire to have children.

Many Americans in their teens and 20s still report that they want two children, said Sarah Hayford, the director of the Institute for Population Research at Ohio State University. The fact that many of those adults don’t realize those goals probably means that external factors are making it more difficult to be a parent, she said.

Survey data suggests that many young adults want to hit certain economic milestones before having children — they might want to buy a house, pay off student debt or comfortably afford child care, said Karen Benjamin Guzzo, a family demographer at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

Reaching those milestones has become increasingly difficult, she said, as mortgage rates have risen sharply and child care costs have soared.

As fewer women opt to stay home to raise children, the absence of policies that support working families — like paid maternity leave and stable child care — may also be leading couples to believe they’re not prepared to be parents, Dr. Guzzo added.

The decision to have children, which she views as the “ultimate vote of confidence” in the future, may also be affected by how optimistic people are about the state of the world, she said.

A study by sociologists in the Netherlands found that people who said they thought the future generation’s prospects were “much worse than today” were less likely to become parents.

Right now, there are plenty of reasons young Americans might be pessimistic, Dr. Guzzo said, including climate change, frequent gun violence and the recent pandemic.

This might explain why fertility rates have been declining in most developed countries — not just in the United States — despite differences in their economic systems and social welfare policies.

“It’s not about being selfish and saying, ‘I’m not having kids because I want to sleep in all the time,’” Dr. Guzzo said. “When fertility rates are down, to me, that’s because people don’t feel like they have a future that they feel confident in.”

If there has been any shift in attitudes toward parenthood, Dr. Hayford of Ohio State said she believed that younger Americans were now more focused on whether they could offer a child “the best experience possible.”

In interviews she conducted with teenagers and adults in their early 20s, Dr. Hayford said, they often stressed the importance of improving their own patience and anger management to ensure they would be able to one day support their children’s emotional needs.

And some research suggests that younger generations have a higher bar for the amount of money required to raise a child.

Having children is something that people feel like they can make a choice about,” Dr. Hayford said. “They are really reluctant to enter into parenthood if they can’t provide what they think children need.”

Exactly how to change the trajectory of a so-called baby bust is still a mystery. Last year, former President Donald J. Trump floated the idea of offering a “baby bonus” to incentivize more families to have children.

“I want a baby boom!” he told a crowd of supporters. “You men are so lucky out there.”

Mr. Vance, his running mate, has advocated tax breaks for households with children and even an altered election system in which parents would have more voting power than people without children.

There is little evidence to suggest that policies designed to reward people for having children are successful on their own, Dr. Guzzo said. Governments in some countries have tried to increase fertility rates with cash incentives, tax breaks and generous parental leave, yielding modest or no success.

Since declining fertility is the result of a range of societal problems, Dr. Guzzo said, legislation that addresses broader issues — like student loans, unaffordable housing and parental leave — is more likely to spur change.

“In our view, every policy is a family policy,” she said.

A correction was made on Aug. 1, 2024: An earlier version of this article misstated the total fertility rate in 2023 and the replacement rate. The figures are 1.6 and 2.1 births per woman, not per 1,000 women.
 
Are you as fossilized as your avatar, or what?

Dunno if you've noticed this or not, but families scatter to the four winds these days, they don't live in multigenerational households on plots of land large enough to grow crops enough to sustain both them and some livestock for extra labor/protein.
You write like you have absolutely no say in how your own children are raised.

Again, if you are a weak loser who expects you will hand everything off to institutions and government flunkies, that's an understandable and reasonable assumption.

Or you could be a winner like your ancestors and not do that, and make a different kind of future.
 
Debatable. The more I've thought on this the more comfortable I am with the conclusion that such thinking is too materialistic and myopic to be sufficient.

For instance if this is true, Ethan Oliver Ralph is a winner at life, Patrick Tomlinson is a winner at life, and Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka won at life.
obviously the goal is here is to create life without being a waste of it yourself
 
ITT people who actually fell for the "don't have kids, you'll go broke!" psyop after their grandparents raised eight kids during the fucking great depression.
My grandpa was an alcoholic racist who fenced stolen TVs and beat the shit out of all his kids, so I'm not really sure if he's a good model to look up to on this topic.
 
Are you as fossilized as your avatar, or what?

Dunno if you've noticed this or not, but families scatter to the four winds these days, they don't live in multigenerational households on plots of land large enough to grow crops enough to sustain both them and some livestock for extra labor/protein.
Multi generational households are great, but just not common in the West.

Asian cultures, definitely and I’m sure it positively impacts the kids.

And unless they’re in the Midwest working the family farm, they’re not growing a huge amount of crops.
Even then it’s shit like soybeans or corn, people can’t live off that.
The people on working farms also go to town once or twice a month to do shopping, they don’t whittle their household things out of wood.

Unless they’re Amish but different rules.

TLDR: I agree with you under those exceptions.
 
Someone else put it far better than I could: the problem is not that all women WILL do that, but that all women CAN do that.
i don't even know why i bothered to respond at all
it's just fucking retarded from any kind of logical view taking the current climate of single-mother households and their results into account
a true believer in equality wouldn't believe in laws/systems that so blatantly favor one sex over the other
then again, this isn't really much of a surprise coming from a woman
 
obviously the goal is here is to create life without being a waste of it yourself
Sure, but that's added nuance often left forgotten in such discussions.

More importantly many of the most momentous works of man, from inventions to grand displays of art or technical prowess, were formed by the minds of men who died childless. Many of the founding fathers of the U.S. never procreated.

Now obviously I don't expect anybody to be a great man of history, but if you're good to the people in your life and work to support them as best as you can I don't see how dying childless having lived in such a manner means you're less of a "winner" than any of the assorted niggerbow of humanity who manage to knock up some bitch on the block.
 
does your dumbass really think that's not an issue that needs to be solved?
if the shoe were on the other foot, you'd be screaming and crying at the mere thought
The "courts prefer women to men in divorce cases" is a myth. When men attempt to get custody they are more successful than women. When the father is actively involved the court favors them over women. The stats get it wrong because they count all cases, which includes many cases where the father didn't show up or didn't ask for any custody.

The courts also often seek to maintain status quo for the children. So if the father has left for a substantial amount of time, not maintained regular contact, not participated in caring for the children, he is unlikely to get substantial custody. The court default is now 50/50 in most places. https://steinsperling.com/do-fathers-have-an-equal-opportunity-to-get-custody-of-their-children/

Men can easily abandon their children while women get shafted with the childcare. Men refuse to put in as much work to see their kids in custody cases.
 
More importantly many of the most momentous works of man, from inventions to grand displays of art or technical prowess, were formed by the minds of men who died childless. Many of the founding fathers of this nation never procreated.

Now obviously I don't expect anybody to be a great man, but if you're good to the people in your life and work to support them as best as you can I don't see how dying childless having lived in such a manner means you're less of a "winner" than any of the assorted niggerbow of humanity who manage to knock up some bitch on the block.
you're comparing the minority of men to the vast majority of average forgotten nobodies, man
we can't all be gems
such is the tragedy and beauty of being a man
Men can easily abandon their children while women get shafted with the childcare. Men refuse to put in as much work to see their kids in custody cases.
your retard is showing
 
Said the person who didn't bother to read the rest of my post and isn't doing anything to refute my point.
you make claims without statistics to back them
you come to mindless assumptions based on a single article by a lawyer who is obviously going to present things as if they have a winning case
there is no point in arguing with you because you had no intentions of ever hearing what any of us had to say to begin with
you will project this on to me in an effort to save face or feel like the superior one, as if you can be on the internet
even replying to you is pointless
 
you're comparing the minority of men to the vast majority of average forgotten nobodies, man
we can't all be gems
...
Now obviously I don't expect anybody to be a great man of history, but if you're good to the people in your life and work to support them as best as you can
I explicitly made clear I wasn't, but admittedly I should have said outright that the "comparison" is more that any man can do good things for the people around them commensurate to their position in society. As in you don't have to be George Washington to do more for your friends/family/neighborhood/whatever.
 
Folks, life's a crapshoot.

You have a dichotomy between responsible people, who wait until they can afford to raise kids properly, and the irresponsible who just splort them right out, content with allowing those kids to have shitty or no childhoods.

For the responsible, having a child is a vote of confidence in the future, for themselves and society. For the irresponsible, having a child is just a way to increase those gibs for now, and fuck the future.

We had no more kids than we could afford to raise properly. My kids have only had one or two children each.

If you don't believe you can raise that child properly, then use birth control of some sort. One of the worst things you can do is bring a child into the world that will have no real childhood and mighty little future.
 
I hear this excuse from incels constantly to justify why they refuse to be intimate with women, as if all women are going to back-stab the father from seeing their children. Just admit you'd fail as a father instead of shafting your problems onto the opposite sex.
Incels are the guys women have absolutely no interest in being with. They can't just decide to have sex.

Do you even know what an incel is?
 
I encourage every American man to look into if their states go by mother’s rights, a lot of states are that way but not all.

In a mother’s rights state, take it to court.
Worked with clients that had actual domestic convictions against boyfriend husbands, a good amount of the time the courts would still rule the father should have part time visitation but AWAY from the mother, with a proxy for drop off and pick up.
That was only if there was never documented abuse of the children specifically though.
This was all in a mother’s rights state.

And at the end of the day, it really is the person with the best lawyers who win.
Getting one party to cave and sign to a lawyer prepared order is a lot easier than going to court and a lot of people don’t fully understand what they’re signing.
Or that it’s not directly from a judge through a lawyer.
 
I explicitly made clear I wasn't, but admittedly I should have said outright that the "comparison" is more that any man can do good things for the people around them commensurate to their position in society. As in you don't have to be George Washington to do more for your friends/family/neighborhood/whatever.
when was the last time your neighbor did anything good for you?
hell, who remembers their neighbors these days?

We're all too disconnected from each other to even have that anymore. If family counts, so does having children and taking care of them. Our society is so low trust talking in public is weird these days. There isn't much value in things like that in a society that no longer values them. Fucked up, but what can you do? The only other options are to live for yourself, and that goes about as well as it does.
 
If anyone is on the fence about having kids, know this:

There is no greater joy in life than the first time your child gets banned on Roblox for using racial slurs
The Roblox Community thread and the Giggly Goonclown thread was the final straw in Roblox stuff, for every child there’s probably 3 child predators.
 
I can't imagine dating any woman generated by today's society, let alone put my penis in one. And bring a child into this world just so it can get brainwashed into some horrible freak seems like a waste. Plus, I just don't think I would make a great father.
 
It's absolutely insane that people have been duped into not doing one of the most ingrained instinctual things nearly every living creature on earth does
I think it's more accurate to say "subconsciously disincentivized," if people could afford cheaper homes, it would naturally happen more, so making economic changes in that direction would be good.

Why would I want to have kids?
If you put an optimistic spin on your paragraph, you could be birthing soldiers that take down the system from the inside, either thru overt actions or subversive misinformation. Just remember Null's advice, stay positive because you may succeed, giving up is guaranteed failure.
 
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