Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

Less than 24 hours until the Stealthy Geek is supposed to moderate the panel on The Science, Fiction, and Ethics of Terraforming in Glasgow (if he's not too hung over). Exciting stuff! Does everyone have their ticket ready?

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Any apocryphals wanna join?

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Dude, it's littered with spelling mistakes.

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The famous Huffo Awards.

That aside, I think I probably am going to buy that online attendance ticket. Can't miss this rare Rick appearance in my part of the world, even if I can't be there in person. I'll see if I can record it, too.

edit: damn, it looks like only some of the events will be streamed, and none of Rick's. Nice fucking Stone Age operation they have, oh well.
 
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Not to bring up an old old topic, but wanted to rewatch this again and noticed it was never archived / uploaded here. And Porsalin also removed it from his channel. Luckily I had it on my hard drive 😏

Pay Quasi - Hitting the Gym:



 
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While my favorite lolcow, he's not a good entry-level for normies. On the surface, he's like your average terminally online twitter faggot, of which there's thousands. A good lolcow 101 is a cobes or cwc. I've shown family and friends the bugrito and "I'm workin' on it." I can't think of a good intro to Fatrick lore. Maybe bombing at standup? But even that isn't really that interesting on its own. It's a big fat puzzle with a lot of pieces that don't make sense until you put them together.
I talked to a lady in her late 60s/early 70s about Patrick at an airport. Her husband too, although he only caught a little bit. Highlight how he'll argue with literally anyone on social media and make your presentation SFW. Then it's all down to your presentation capabilities.
Claims to go to the gym. But that's an obvious lie. No one who "goes to the gym for decades" gets fatter and fatter as he has with literally no muscle to show for it. He could at least make his forearms slightly bigger from jerking it.
I go to the gym every day and have been going for years myself. Not only are there people that go almost as frequently as I do that don't look fit at all, there's guys that do a lot of steroids and go as much as I do that barely look like they lift.

I point this out because ol' Technicality Tomlinson might well be telling the truth about his gym attendance. He'll leave out the part about how it morphed from "training" into getting gay cock in his holes.
He did go to the gym and got somewhat fit for a brief period of a few years after his divorce and before Trump and the Redditors completely buck-broke him. Then started his rapid descent to becoming a blobfish.
Did he really get a tiny bit fit? I feel that he'd never shut the fuck up about it if he did. He'd definitely use a pic from that time as a rebuttal to people pointing out what he looks like now.
 
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I know it fucks up continuity, but the audio from the last interview where he baby child's 100 times is probably the best cold start for newcomers. The web chronicles videos are a good start as well. The AI voice mixed with the passive jokes from the narrator is pretty funny.
I warm them up with whatever funny anecdote I think they'll latch onto most, and then hit them with the "Oh, by the way, this is what he sounds like", giving them an extremely brief run down on the Josiah tapes if that wasn't my opening anecdote.
 
so this guy is saying if the cops responded disproportionately to a simple innocent welfare call then pat has a case. ok sure except 1. pat doesn't state that happened in his complaint. he says cops should have just known better because of the amount of fake calls. and 2. if cops knock on your door for any reason and you start screaming in their face they probably can cuff you without it being a civil rights violation.
 
I go to the gym every day and have been going for years myself. Not only are there people that go almost as frequently as I do that don't look fit at all, there's guys that do a lot of steroids and go as much as I do that barely look like they lift.
...how do they manage that? You can literally sit on your ass, if you are on gear you will gain muscle.
 
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Did he really get a tiny bit fit? I feel that he'd never shut the fuck about it if he did.
Oh, your feeling is correct. You better believe it, child.

After getting cucked by Pringles-dick John or whatever his name was, Rick decided to heal his broken heart and simultaneously take revenge by getting fit.

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"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.'"

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Good shit, Rick. Keep it up.

But, of course, as his mind deteriorated along with the ascent of Trump, it stopped being about fitness and started being about owning real-life Nazis in the queerest way imaginable.

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Such a faggy thing to say. Who brags like that about a HALF-marathon? "Sir, I challenge you to a tic-tac-toe duel!"

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lmao, what the fuck? Actual Tough Guy Rick in his prime.

(While I normally wouldn't say a half-marathon is something to sneeze at, it's also known as a distance that pretty much anyone can do with some training. Hundred-year-olds have run it. People run it all the time in wacky costumes and shit.)

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As someone who enjoys running, I will confidently say normal runners don't talk like this about running, they just do it. For Patrick, it wasn't for the love of the game, he just did it performatively like everything else in his life.

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"Don't cry, Patrick... Do. Not. Cry! The pain is leaving your heart... The pain...."

There's a lot more Fitness Rick where that came from, maybe I'll do a bigger post if I'm in the mood sometime.
 
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