Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

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What would the outcome of the harassment restraining order be?

  • A WIN for the Toe against Patrick Melton.

    Votes: 63 17.9%
  • A WIN for the Toe against Nicholas Rekieta.

    Votes: 4 1.1%
  • A MAJOR WIN for the Toe, it's upheld against both of them.

    Votes: 93 26.4%
  • Huge L, felted, cooked etc, it gets thrown out.

    Votes: 55 15.6%
  • A win for the lawyers (and Kiwi Farms) because it gets postponed again.

    Votes: 137 38.9%

  • Total voters
    352
This is the life kiwibros that we are missing out on.

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Rackets and Ralph watching a group of diverse, hygienic, and sharply dressed people enter the courtroom armed with notebooks, c.2024 (colorized).
 
(Serious) I re-read the title and noticed it says Nick snuffs small animals for fun, but I don't remember seeing it in the OP. Where did this come from?
Nick has admitted to murdering small animals on at least two occasions. He trapped and drowned a skunk, and he locked himself in a shed with a couple of raccoons which he bludgeoned to death, this post has the original clips and transcribed them:
 
What the situation isn't, though, is "a mountain, molehill scenario." Molehills don't come with 2nd degree (or any degree) felony charges. Drugs, guns, and children aren't a molehill combo in any scenario, whether charged or not.
Guns and drugs you say? Well, that changes everything. You're right actually, a 6,000+ page forum thread about some lolbert hedonist having guns and drugs is the definition of understated. You've definitely changed my mind.
 
Guns and drugs you say? Well, that changes everything. You're right actually, a 6,000+ page forum thread about some lolbert hedonist having guns and drugs is the definition of understated. You've definitely changed my mind.
My good sir, are you aware that you are currently a member of a gossip forum?
 
Alright, at the request of users @Oh Darn and @he who has thus come/gone I have done some baldo-oriented stylometric analysis similar to the Ralph twitter thread I wrote a couple years ago. Credit to both of them for the documents they sent to me to examine. This is by no means conclusive and ghostdetect is not the word of God himself, I make no legal statements and am posting on a goofy gossip forum. Hi Nick. Apologies in advanced for the long fucking post with too many pictures

EDIT : for clarification this was requested because there was question as to whether or not Nick was just writing all of White's motions in his case and fucking them up out of his own ego.

Alright, as requested here is a stylometric analysis of the recent motions filed by Rekieta and allegedly written by his Lawyer, White. I will be using ghostdetect and if you want an explanation of how that works and how I sample text you should read the thread OP I wrote 2 years ago where I used the same tool to prove Ethan Ralph was writing Pantsu’s tweets(and texts). The results from the tool are Flury-Reidwell faces which means that if you are on the part of the spectrum that makes it difficult to distinguish facial features you may find this analysis confusing, I do not mean this in a mean way its just the way it is. Very ironic that a tool developed to help autists analyze data is unusable by many autists, ce la vi.

There is a non-trivial concern I must bring up in the interest of intellectual honesty. These court documents are usually based on boiler plate templates, this means there is a chance that these templates could be unaltered enough that any motion filed by any lawyer may come up as sharing stylistic similarities. There is a grain of salt to be taken with this. I will not post every single generated facial match up or else Null would probably have me tarred and feathered but will present some neat ones and ones that more represent an average of the results I get from running samples.

In order to keep the templatic parts from interfering with analysis I will comparing selections of text from the motions. To start with, I compared samples of Nick’s personal motions and compare sections from them. Below is the result
1724290556318.png
Very cool, some neat facial similarities. If you read my previous thread about Ethan Ralph’s twitter you will know that facial features and their shapes are generated by analyzing stylistic patterns in writing that are unique to the writer.

I went ahead and took the conclusion sections from the same motion to dismiss from Nick Rekieta(represented by face on the left) and a motion that was submitted for me for analysis “BRIEF OF APPELLANTS ELIZABETH J. ZIEGLER AND NICHOLE L. DIETEL”. Now there’s something off about this document….its not coauthored by Nick and White its co authored by White and FUCKING BARNES. And look at the result
1724290632429.png

While not a perfect match its very similar and it’s the same type of match as the previous sample I showed above that is two motions that were supposedly solely written by Nick……UH OOOOOOOH! This made me really curious. Is Barnes ghost writing the shit ass motions that Nick presents?
Now this is fucking weird, another supposedly joint authored motion was submitted to me but it was also joint authored by White and Barnes. I compared it to the same Nick motion I’ve been using for the two past shown results. Below is the result
1724290673890.png
UUUUUUH OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
STIIIIIIIIIIINKY
In all seriousness I had doubt. There’s no fucking way Nick Rekieta is so god damn lazy he actually off loads the work of writing his own dogshit motions onto another dogshit lawyer….so I then decided to try some guaranteed White motions that would be solely authored by White. Here are two entire documents written by White compared.
1724290701678.png
Interesting. Lets now compare a document written by White to one he co-authored with Barnes.
1724290721326.png
UUUUUUUUUH OOOOOOOH STIIIIIIINKY!
Now when I saw this I reached out to Oh Darn to see if he could retrieve a document that was entirely written by Barnes and he sent me a Preliminary Objection which features a section entirely written by Barnes and uh….
1724290739191.png
STIIIIIIIINKY!
To be sure I compared more samples and well….
1724290756915.png

Has Robert Barnes been ghost writing all of Nick Rekieta’s past motions because Rekieta is a bum attorney who can’t even be bothered to do the one thing attornies do? Well maybe, to be completely serious it is hard to say without more samples of Barnes’s writing on it’s own. If anyone has them please DM them to me so I can provide further baldo-oriented stylistic analysis. Furthermore these are legal documents, they are often based on templates and revised to remove unneeded flourishes and stylistic imprints. The similarities on display could be because of this. I must also acknowledge that White’s writing style is incredibly fucking vanilla. The man writes incredibly dry, some sections of his writing were not great matches to eachother, likely due to this. The big stick out is the fact that when he works with Barnes his shit starts to match up with Nick’s and when Barne’s writes anything it matches up with Nick’s.

CONCLUSION OF ANALYSIS
It is really really really fucking bizarre that Nick’s motion to dismiss is a match for a motion that was co-written by Barnes and his motions tend to be matches for Barnes. It is further very fucking weird that White’s motions do not fully match the ones he has co-written with Barnes and do not match the motion written by Nick. I can say with confidence that White’s writing isn’t a match for the motions that Nick writes on his own but I can also say it seems there’s a possibility Barnes has been ghostwriting for Nick while Nick plays attorney online. Crazy stuff. Perhaps Nick needs other men to not only fuck his wife but also write his motions.
 
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From the man who brought you
- "Oh my god, having 5 kids is insane, just keeping up with all of the activities, oh god, you never have any time."
and
- "The hardest thing in the world was being away from my kids. The worst part was the silence. I never want to be away from them again."
now comes
- "Sorry, kiddo. Daddy can't spend time with you right now because he has to read through his Kiwi Farms page and then watch a bunch of other people's videos and livestreams about him and make snarky vague tweets in response about how much he doesn't like them."
 
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