Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

[Dromedary]

Yeah Matty Yglesias is quite famous and well-known, and I love how pissed off he gets when people call him Matty when his screen name on X is "@MattYglesias". He's a retard cuck middlebrow Jew asshole who shouldn't have such a cushy job. Isn't it funny how Jews always manage to land cushy high-paying jobs sitting on their fat asses and talking shit for a living?

It's actually unbelievable throughout the media. Look who gets to write and form public opinion. Jew, Jew,Jew,Jew,Jew,Jew,Jew,Jew,Jew,Jew,Jew,Jew,Jew,Jew.

Pervasive throughout US media. They don't create or do anything constructive, it's like "Here's another opinion piece by Rachel Cockstein about how white men are evil."

 

[Autistic Nonetheless]

If the writing thing doesn’t work out Mal can always find work as a liveaction Bobby Hill impersonator

 

[Bookwork]

Misgendering that poor baby again. When will Mama Lavery teach Papa Lavery to stop being so transphobic?

If Lala is still chestfeeding, it's a safe bet that she'll stop now that Cannibal Baby can gnaw.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

Misgendering that poor baby again. When will Mama Lavery teach Papa Lavery to stop being so transphobic?
View attachment 6369901
If Lala is still chestfeeding, it's a safe bet that she'll stop now that Cannibal Baby can gnaw.

When Mall gets left in the dust and is remembered as that odd lady that was there for the first few years... ooff.

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

When Mall gets left in the dust and is remembered as that odd lady that was there for the first few years... ooff.

Typically this kind of arrangement lasts until the kid is 1-2. By then, the relentless newborn work is done and the kid is starting to talk and make preferences known. The "free nanny" type gets shifted out the moment the kid's attention is primarily on them.

 

[Pube Dandruff]

"Our baby" says Mallory. "My SON", says Mallory.

There is a vast plane of grief ahead of you, Mallory.

 

[squirreltail]

"Our baby" says Mallory. "My SON", says Mallory.

There is a vast plane of grief ahead of you, Mallory.

I actually feel sorry for her.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

I actually feel sorry for her.

Negrated this. Because Mall has put herself in this hell.

 

[monstrous bubo]

Negrated this. Because Mall has put herself in this hell.

Agree. Remember that post, years ago, where Joe bragged about doing a Yoko on her? She must have seen that. And then she stayed. At every point, every humiliation, every lunacy, she stayed. She is weak, feckless, and shallow, and chooses to stay that way too. That’s why she’s a true lolcow, and not a victim: she makes every stupid decision possible, while thinking she is oh so clever, and then proudly parading her folly online.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

Agree. Remember that post, years ago, where Joe bragged about doing a Yoko on her? She must have seen that. And then she stayed. At every point, every humiliation, every lunacy, she stayed. She is weak, feckless, and shallow, and chooses to stay that way too. That’s why she’s a true lolcow, and not a victim: she makes every stupid decision possible, while thinking she is oh so clever, and then proudly parading her folly online.

She's encountered the main issue that haunts all cows - because let's take a stock of her life. Her husband, who has lured her into degeneracy and his sexual fetish, has lost his job so he's not the main provider anymore. Meanwhile, he banged up the mistress, who is now the main provider. The Mistress and her Husband has sent her up to the attic where she has to take care of their love baby.

I'm willing to bet that Mall's family would take her back - no matter how ill-advised I'd find that - if she only uttered the words "I'm sorry".

But she won't, so to hell we go. "I'm sorry, I was wrong" is a phrase that would save a lot of the cows on the site.

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

She's not sorry.

This is the life she wants.

She's not thinking this is terrible. And she won't. Later, even if things fall apart, she'll decide they "changed." Until the change, everything was good.

She had the ability to claim any life a young female writer could have. She could have gone for a travel gimmick and gone travelling around the world on the dime of some publication to pen witty observations for her audience. She could have found a normal guy and become a mommy blogger. She could have started a business giving literary tours of places.

She wasn't lured in by a predator who caught her unaware. Her writing always had an undercurrent of self-hatred, and she chose to live with a man who had as much contempt for her as she had for herself.

This is Mallory's perfect life. Joe and Lily are both less happy with the current arrangement than she is. Joe wishes he was on a coast and so does Lily, but this is the Midwestern life that brings Mallory back to childhood. This low-expectations lifestyle is what she's always really wanted.

Some people really hate fame. But there's a problem with that: you can't just unfamous yourself. Even death won't do it (as "Candle In the Wind" notes very accurately). Britney Spears had the same issue. She didn't want to be famous. When people love you for your appearance and your sexiness, making yourself look ugly and the unsexy kind of crazy is the way a rebellion against fame manifests. When you're famous with women who love your feminist bon mots and "hapless everywoman" schtick, identifying as Bobby Hill and writing nothing but rambles while posting photos of a man's fist in your mouth suggests the same sort of thing as Britney's head shave.

If you feel bad for Mallory about anything, the one thing that she probably hates is that she's still being pressured into writing for pay by Joe, because the trio can't afford the designer necessities of life. Women's Hotel was exactly the kind of thing Mallory didn't want to do, and she only did one reading/signing from what I can see. She changed her sex and her entire name, first and last, to get away from the famous persona she used to inhabit.

But don't feel bad that she's an unpaid maid for a couple and their baby. That kind of "fade into the background, just be a small little extra something people barely notice" life is what she desired. Only someone dedicated to "Yoko"-ing her would allow her to bleed off fame fast enough. A supportive partner would probably try to make her get over her neuroses and accept her success, even if she found some aspects of it tiresome or felt she didn't deserve it for psychological reasons. She couldn't have that. She didn't want that. She wanted someone who would fast track her to oblivion.

And reader, she married him.

 

[Bookwork]

Britney's shaved head (and Sinead's)? That's what druggies do so a hair sample can't be tested for metabolites to determine whether they've used drugs in the last 90 days.

And, c'mon. Mallory's never been famous, not even in some fog bank of third-wave feminism. She never got past the "promising" phase and has now succumbed to hasbeenhood because she's the intellectual equivalent of molding Velveeta.

She's done only one reading/signing for Women's Hotel because that's all she's lined up. Her feeble plea for a cheap photographer, her lame effort on Squarespace, and her one tweet asking her fangurls to find her bookings indicate that her publisher warned her: Marketing a minor author like in the good old days is not their job anymore; it's the author's.

But she's so busy raising her son! Voting for Palestinian regents! Posting phrases she found listed in one of her old notebooks on Substack! Getting locked out of the house! And maybe when her son's old enough, she'll get a part-time job at a butcher's shop!

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

She's done only one reading/signing for Women's Hotel because that's all she's lined up.

She did this?

Britney's shaved head (and Sinead's)?

Also, Sinead didn't shave her head because of this - she had a shaved head before. Sinead objected to Catholic child abuse.

 

[Bookwork]

She did this?

No. I was wrong about that. I was recalling some tweets about one planned reading/signing and misinterpreting a line in @Diana Moon Glampers's post above.

The book's not out yet. They gave away 40 signed advanced copies and sent copies to reviewers. I've gotten bored scrolling back through her X posts looking for the reading/signing date chatter so I don't have that for you.

Sinead objected to a lot of things. The "It's For The Children" shaving immediately preceded unwanted rehab. I'm sorry if that hurts. But tearing up the pope's picture on SNL was straight from the heart and so daring, so dangerous. The Jesuits could have knifed her in the alley that very evening.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

Yeah, I doubt Mall would accept doing public events - she'd just attract no public at this point.

Seriously, where are her fans?

 

[3MMA]

Typically this kind of arrangement lasts until the kid is 1-2. By then, the relentless newborn work is done and the kid is starting to talk and make preferences known. The "free nanny" type gets shifted out the moment the kid's attention is primarily on them.

This reminds me of the betting pool ITT, from maybe half a year ago or so. IIRC, I gave it 18 months from birth to major relationships breakdown. If Baby is almost 5 months old now, that leaves 13 more months.

I don’t remember exactly what stipulations I guessed were most likely, but a general idea I vaguely recall was that there were 3 ways the split could go. In order, I think it was Joe “leaving for work,” at the top, with Joe & Lily deciding to be a couple second, kicking Moe out. Finally, the last possibility was something about Mallory finally breaking after a huge narcissistic rage episode from Joe, which though unlikely, I strangely predicted for some damn reason.

I’ll have to go back & check on what everyone predicted for the throuple breakdown in a post birth world. Think I might amend a few ideas on how the change happens (seeing as Joe doesn’t seem to be on very good terms with UC Berkeley,) but am sticking to my timeline for how many months will elapse.

 

[Dick Johnson]

Here's Todd's "review" announcing The Handmaid's Tale got him off so hard he's a woman now: https://www.vox.com/culture/2019/6/...sgender-handmaids-tale-emily-todd-vanderwerff
Related BIG NEWS interview: https://www.npr.org/2019/06/09/731044423/the-handmaid-s-tale-and-coming-out-as-transgender

I read the AV Club when Todd was there. I'd never read anything about his transition (just noticed the changed byline, and eventually figured out that it wasn't a wife or sister who was also writing for the AVC.) So, I started reading that Vox piece and what should I find:

Still, as the Trump administration continued to try to dehumanize marginalized groups, including transgender people, the contradiction between who I seemed to be and who I was grew increasingly stark. Then I read a March 2018 interview with the trans writer Daniel Ortberg and said, “Ahh, that’s me,” and I said to my therapist — who had already been listening to me tap-dance around my gender for 10 years — “I think I would like to think about thinking about transitioning,” and that was it.

Mal helped Todd van der Werff troon out. Imagine looking at Mallory and how shit went for her and thinking 'Yup, sounds great! Sign me up!'

Wonder what 'Emily St James' thinks about 'Danny' now.

 

[monstrous bubo]

Britney's shaved head (and Sinead's)? That's what druggies do so a hair sample can't be tested for metabolites to determine whether they've used drugs in the last 90 days.

Their decisions to shave their heads were made 20 years apart in different countries. Nobody was going to check Sinead’s hair for metabolites when she was an obscure 20 year old who’d had her first baby with her husband and also put out her first album (not the one that made her famous. I first heard her then). She shaved it as a fuck-you to a record company exec who suggested she grow her hair longer. Britney was in the States 20 years later - famous, a parent, cracking up, and yes, much more likely to have a metabolite test.

But here are a few things in common: mental illness, good looks, and people telling them what they had to look like. Shaving a woman’s head is used to humiliate her by unsexing her. Shaving your own head is a quick way for a woman to destroy her femininity in the eyes of others. Sinead cropped it as a teenager, and then shaved it at 20 after her mother’s death. Look at what Sinead said about her hair, her sister’s hair, and what her mentally ill mother said:

During an interview with Dr Phil, she revealed why the decision was so important to her and candidly discussed the alleged abuse she suffered at the hands of her mother.

O’Connor said: “My sister had the most beautiful red hair, glorious red hair, the type you’d be jealous of.”

“But my mother took it into her head that my sister’s hair was ugly, and horrible and disgusting. And she started, when I had long hair, she would introduce us as her pretty daughter and her ugly daughter. And that’s why I cut my hair off. I didn’t want to be pretty.”

O’Connor continued, suggesting there was another devastating reason why she cut it short.

“It was dangerous to be pretty because I was getting raped and molested everywhere I went,” she said.

“That was a huge part of it. I didn’t want to be raped or molested, I didn’t want to dress like a girl, I didn’t want to be pretty. Other girls beat you up if you were pretty too.”

O’Connor then turned her attention to the ‘music business’ and how alleged pressure from executives inspired her to keep the length. She told Dr Phil: “I was asked one day would I grow my hair long and wear short skirts because they wanted to sell me on my sexuality.

“I didn’t want to be sold on that,” she added. “If I was going to be successful, I wanted it to be because I was a good musician.’

I didn’t want to be pretty. Britney, BTW, said the same thing about her head shave, and I believe her. She seemed too mentally ill at that time to be thinking rationally about metabolite tests. They both took the routes available to them to trash their looks.

Fast forward another ten years to 2017 to another young woman with lovely hair, cute girl looks, and an undercurrent of self-hatred. Now she has a better way to trash her looks that even helps her on the progressive stack.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

I actually feel sorry for her.

Feel sorry for the child. He will probably imprint on her as a primary caregiver and later be whisked away, or shamed for expressing too much attachment, or otherwise have his one semi-warm relationship (I don't buy for a second that "Lolz4lilz" is capable of such a thing) destroyed and desecrated.

But don't feel bad that she's an unpaid maid for a couple and their baby. That kind of "fade into the background, just be a small little extra something people barely notice" life is what she desired.

And she wants to be able to blame someone else. And to be the put-upon victim who can quietly nurse her grudges and tell herself how brave and strong she is for not taking back the revenge she rightfully deserves.

She is no Austen heroine nor even anything like a tragic figure from Bronte or Woolf. You want to know her niche in the great britlit female canon? She is Miss Gilchrist, a failed business woman and now paid companion to a daft rich dowager, in "After the Funeral" by Agatha Christie.

 

[Aunt Carol]

That’s why she’s a true lolcow, and not a victim: she makes every stupid decision possible, while thinking she is oh so clever, and then proudly parading her folly online.

Being slowly destroyed by the fruits of your own hubris is basically the classical definition of "tragedy."

Mallory could always try announcing, in 10-15 years or so, that this was performance art, and write a roman-à-clef about it. There's got to be some theming you can do about a "self-made man" being the architect, at the very same time, of his own inevitable downfall. Cover art idea: that photo of George Mallory's prone body from its discovery in 1999, both symbolic and a dumb pun.

(I'm not a literature professor so she can have that for free.)