Who was your first LOLcow?

My first lolcow was this guy called RootBrian. He was this small, extremely paranoid canadian man with bad teeth (like REALLY BAD) who put out tons of useless videos and who was also an anonymous wannabe; he even had a Guy Fawkes mask that he wore in certain videos even though he showed his face in other videos. His youtube accounts kept getting reported and taken down and he kept making new ones. I found him through a page on ED: https://encyclopediadramatica.es/Rootbrian.

My personal involvement in his drama was this: he was so paranoid of EVERY negative comment on his channel that he would make a video addressing each negative commenter. So, eventually, he made one about me. I eventually got bored with him and moved on.
 
My first lolcow I remember was Jack Thompson, a Florida attorney that kept trying to ban video games and kept fighting against the video game community. I first found him on GamePolitics in 2007, and followed him until 2008 when the Florida bar got sick of Jack Thompson and took away his right to practice law.

God, I miss that guy so much. I remember looking forward to his antics every day and laughing at this empty threats to the video game community.
 
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gontykins!!! he was indeed the proto-chris, and i guess he and some little infamous-but-not-ed-level artistic lolcows got me hooked on artsy fartsy lolcows in general. i really stalked the hell out of that guy. when he got away from his trademark ms paint floodfill and into unfinished pencil stuff, i knew he jumped the shark and quit bothering to check in on him.

i really, really miss dboywheeler.

and there was also this 4evergreen guy.
 
Back when I was a wee lass in Jr. High, I did shitty burn/dodge drawings in photoshop and put it up on DeviantArt. Way before ED, way before Chris, there was this artist I admired named PoellePhantom. She was pretty big in the Danny Phantom fanbase at the time and eventually we ended up chatting and being friends.
Now being 15, young and stupid, I didn't understand at the time what a mary sue was. Holy hell. A complete list of all Mary Sue traits.
Her character Poelle (herself) had gold hair with purple highlights, was created in a lab, had ghost powers including a ghost form, wolf ears and tail, a huge scar down her face, fangs, was part vampire, part wolf, part machine, part ghost, could turn into a dragon, a wolf and a fox, wielded a katana, was a mercenary out for revenge of her creators, had a dark past and of course could fly.
I'm sure there was more however after she got an ED page she deleted fucking everything and only drew portraits of animals before disappearing completely. Looking back on it she could have been a big deal if she didn't quit the internet when she did.
 
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I used to hang out on GAFF a lot, back when it actually was GAFF, and the first lolcow I can really remember following is Winter Rose. She seems to have vanished from the Internet these days, but back in the golden days circa 2007 she was this odd Ren Faire type obsessed with being perfectly feminine, having long red hair (AKA a cheap wig), her supposed Celtic and fairy heritage, a very romanticized version of paganism, being a Disney princess and all kinds of other stuff. She wrote this terrible NaNo called "BeanSidhe's Wail" (archived here) and Capitalized Every Word In The Sentence And Used Tildes Instead Of Hyphens Or Italics Because It Looked ~Prettier.~ Folks used to call her the real-life Mary Sue.

And I'm not sure if these really counts as lolcows, but for years now one of my hobbies has been following terrible authors who behave badly online. Anne Rice and Laurell K. Hamilton have both been sources of lulz for a long, long time.
 
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I read many lolcow ED articles, but Chris was the first one I actually decided to follow.
 
TotallyAwesome said:
My first lolcow I remember was Jack Thompson, a Florida attorney that kept trying to ban video games and kept fighting against the video game community. I first found him on GamePolitics in 2007, and followed him until 2008 when the Florida bar got sick of Jack Thompson and took away his right to practice law.

God, I miss that guy so much. I remember looking forward to his antics every day and laughing at this empty threats to the video game community.
Click to expand...

I could almost consider him my first (RL) lolcow too, but if we're just going with online ones, then I think the first ED article I read was SnapeSnogger. I still lol at the amount of poo flinging she did in the conceptart.org forums and how much she defended to the bloody death her right to draw Snape as a kawaii blushing spooging pregnant noseless naga bishie everywhere else.
 
Remember ChristianUtubur or whatever? I remember stumbling on his stuff when I was around 11 or 12-ish on YT. Still think some of his videos are pretty funny.
 
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Pretty sure Chris introduced me to the concept of lolcows.

Either that or butthurt Sonic recolor artists.
 
My first lolcow was the creator of the Saerileth mod for Baldur's Gate 2.
The character is like the ultimate mary-sue, a pedophile's wet dream (this is an actual picture for her), romance worse than what I remember from Twilight, the creator stole art from some Korean MMO and claimed it as original and used it without giving copyright credit stuff , compared it to Romeo and Juliet, and best of all had a total nervous breakdown because ONE person criticized his mod for having no depth (And the guy even listed some positive things about the creator). His "wife" went and defended him, and ended up revealing that the only appropriate discussion for the mod was 100% undying praise and the guy ended up locking all the sub-forum about the mod after that. Oh and he ended up moving to Japan also and hasn't used western internet forums since as far as I know.
 
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My first lolz, the same time any lolcow gives me, came from Don Vito on Viva La Bam.

Love the trip to Mardi Gras and him eating "Dude Eggs"

Then I started lolling at Spax3.
 
Pic related:
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Derek "Goku" Rich. He was an anime and game fan in the late 90s, who used to cosplay Son Goku from Dragon Ball Z. He seemed like a nice enough guy when I first met him at Nekocon in Virginia. However, he quickly developed a giant ego, when folks started to recognize his cosplay (which was still uncommon in the 90's), and his underage girlfriend (who later became a modestly-successful softcore model) started also getting popular. Turns out he was frequently lying about his naval service, which is sort of a sore spot for me. I joined a Yahoo Chat board that enjoyed ridiculing him, and unraveling some of the bullshit stolen valor stories he would tell kids (especially teenage girls) at conventions. He would throw these hamfisted tantrums, swearing to "kill everyone dead." At its peak, around 1999, his trolldom was maybe 50 or so people.

He mellowed out by the time he hit his thirties, and seems like a decent guy now.
 
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The first lolcow for me was Chasethehedgehog, a guy who used to post hilariously awful MS Paint Sonic drawings at DA while flying into a rage at every single negative comment.
I learned about CWC from Chase's ED article, it was around the time he left the internet to play LBP (preceding the Tomgirl saga).
 
LittleCloud's article was the first one I read on ED. This was back in 06 or 07, and I haven't revisited it since.
 
Good ol' David Gonterman. Back in the mid-late '90s, when MSTings were popular, there was a site full of the things - pinky.wtower.net, I think - that introduced me to his work. There was also a site on Geocities that had some MSTs of his Sonic and Sailor Moon comics, with the cast of Space Ghost Coast to Coast providing the riffs. I printed out a bunch of that stuff back in the day and I think I still have them stashed in a filing cabinet somewhere. I wonder what he's up to sometimes - I think last I heard he was still trying to publish a version of "Blood and Metal" with the numbers filed off, though he'd also withdrawn from the intertubes somewhat and was in counseling to try to get his life turned around.
 
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  • Nornna.
  • This guy on the old Bevenet message boards named Mr. Zabe. My ex and I would make fun of him for hours when we'd IM together. He made the most dumbass posts. This was 2005, 2006. EHHeused to make all these dumb threads up about Coke Zero too around the time it came out. Sadly it looks like all his old posts are gone ;( He was only there for a few months when he became the user with the most posts.

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Is this that guy shadow fox brought up?
 
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i think mine were zeriara and snapesnogger in 06/07. i was but a foul little 13 year old with nothing but deviantart and ED to keep me entertained. i don't think either of them have improved their art in the 8 years since i found them
 
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