Hey there, to preface I'm a mum and I'm going to mum at you. (We are in Australia so it's mum instead of mom in the US)
My daughter had her surgery with Sutin in mid January, I was there for every step. I also know several girls who had surgery with him over the past decade.
I 100% promise you that you look exactly right. I know you look almost identical to my daughter at that stage, and the same as her friend who went two weeks earlier.
My daughter was not great with cleaning or touching for a few weeks, I'm guessing a big part of that was the numbness. She was getting me to do her washes the first week in the hotel so she didn't have to touch herself.... That is totally ok and normal in my opinion. You have a whole new you to get to know, like dating someone new, it can be best to take things slowly.
I can 100% promise you that if you take daily photos and then do a comparison in a week that you will see a ton of progress that you aren't going to notice day by day.
My daughter also swelled a lot like you have, that's totally normal although unpleasant. Her (and her friend who went just before) both look extremely natural now. By about week 4/5 both girls you couldn't tell that they were neo vaginas if you ignored the stitches.
I know it's super hard right now and it's going to stay really hard for a bit longer. I wish I could say otherwise but I'm always super honest. But I also know for a fact that you are super brave and strong and can handle this.... You were so brave and strong and true to yourself from the moment you decided to live authentically. You can handle this, it's hard I know but I have complete trust in the fact that you are brave and strong. You are going to be so happy in a month that you did this. I promise.
If it helps at all you can message me directly and I'm even happy to video chat and give you a pep talk if you need it.