Emergency / Prepper foods - Preparing for the inevitable Nuclear Apocalypse / Chinese invasion / Ragnarok / Second American Civil War / Super Smallpox / FEMA camps / Yellowstone Supervolcano / Second Coming of Christ / etc etc...

Great advice in this thread. Especially regarding MREs. The fastest way to fuck yourself up on a number of fronts is to try to eat MREs long-term. They're expensive and have way too many calories.

One other bit of advice is that no matter what you land on for a food cache, the most important thing is to not tell anyone about it. Don't show it off. Don't mention it. You don't have shit. If you go around talking about it (even offhandedly) the best case scenario is that you'll have a friend knocking on your door begging. Worst case scenario is that it's not a friend, and they knock your door off the hinges. Starving people are desperate. Desperate people are dangerous. Especially if they're trying to keep children alive.
 
Keep some goats. Very low maintenance, hardy, eat almost anything, provide milk and meat.
The perfect animal for the post-apocalypse.
Chickens as well since they eat almost anything and are nasty lil bastards if tucked into a corner. But no milk instead you get eggs.

Ironically places like Menards has decent stuff like I’ve seen Lasagna kits for the apocalypse. Bonus of that store is 11% off everything so you can save money on shit like gas stoves n crap.

Keep a fat person on hand so when they die you can use their fat to keep you warm.
 
I have can and MREs for a couple of weak. the plan is for the worst case is easy, wait till the fallout is settled, than make a run for our summer home at the sea.
Its a couple of days of traveling by foot and less by boat or bike. the sea is rich enough to feed me and all family members from other areas who make it.
 
I feel like dried beans are a meme. I have bought dried beans from the store several times, soaked them for 24 hours and then cooked them for several more hours, they just never get properly soft. I tried every trick you can google and nothing helps, upon researching it seems that once beans are "old" they will just never soften up properly and the beans at the supermarket have usually been there a long time already. I will definitely not be keeping dried beans around and opt for canned instead. They are only good as pie weights, nothing else.
 
I feel like dried beans are a meme. I have bought dried beans from the store several times, soaked them for 24 hours and then cooked them for several more hours, they just never get properly soft. I tried every trick you can google and nothing helps, upon researching it seems that once beans are "old" they will just never soften up properly and the beans at the supermarket have usually been there a long time already. I will definitely not be keeping dried beans around and opt for canned instead. They are only good as pie weights, nothing else.
How inedible were they? Unpleasant to eat or nearly impossible to eat?
 
How inedible were they? Unpleasant to eat or nearly impossible to eat?
Possible to eat, but hard in the middle and not at all enjoyable. Probably don't digest very well either (I ended up throwing them out). Not comparable to the nice tenderness of a canned bean.
 
  • Informative
Reactions: BULLY HUNTER_78
I prefer to hoard dried refried beans (aka instant beans). A little water, some lard, and seasoning.... topped with cheese or sour cream, if your are rich. Wrapped in a tortilla or with a handful of chips. I could eat this for lunch every day.
beans.jpg
 
  • Like
Reactions: Green_Pine_Tree
I feel like dried beans are a meme. I have bought dried beans from the store several times, soaked them for 24 hours and then cooked them for several more hours, they just never get properly soft. I tried every trick you can google and nothing helps, upon researching it seems that once beans are "old" they will just never soften up properly and the beans at the supermarket have usually been there a long time already. I will definitely not be keeping dried beans around and opt for canned instead. They are only good as pie weights, nothing else.
WRONG. You want an Instant Meme Pot or another electric pressure cooker to deal with dried beans. I make them frequently, probably at least 25 pounds of the stuff as described below.

IB_Instant-Pot_Recipe-Booklet_removed_page-0001.jpg
  1. Instead of doing any soaking, pressure cook the dried beans, about 2+ cups water to 1 cup beans (it doesn't matter that much, and less goes faster).
  2. Drain it. You can remove all the beans into a colander temporarily so you can saute some onions, etc., or you can put them all back in the pot immediately.
  3. Add as much water (or broth) as you added dried beans. 1 pound of dried beans is about 2 cups. If you used 2 cups of beans, you would add 2 cups of water. Pressure cook that.
  4. After it's all done, you can use a masher to mash some of the beans.
I have increased pressure cooking times to get them softer, but 10 minutes for the "instant soak" + 20 minutes for the cooking should be fine. If the timer runs out, and steam is being naturally released, they are continuing to cook at above the boiling point. Which is fine because it's basically impossible to overcook if you are mashing them.

This might take an hour to make, but it only takes a few minutes of your time because you set it and forget it™.

I've used old beans doing this. It's probable that the pressure cooker defeats old supermarket beans because it's not merely boiling them. On the High setting it's cooking those beans at least around 12 PSI, 240°F/115°C. Those beans will get cooked.
 
Last edited:
Ironically, calorie mates from Japan.

They take awhile to stock up on since you gotta order from Japan itself, but during situations where you gotta ration, those things go a long way.

Very healthy, and kept me going during a hurricane
 
If you are storing food, you MUST check on it regularly. Otherwise when the day comes when you need it you might find it has spoiled or been destroyed by pests/moisture/time.

Avoid keeping supplies of very acidic foods in cans, especially tomatoes. Over time, the acidity will eat though the can and you won't notice until you have pests and/or a block of mold. All foods should be pest-proofed. Rice and beans should be kept in hard containers. Flour should be frozen before storage.
 
Don't waste your money on those buckets of emergency food. The portion sizes are ridiculously small -- a "2 week supply" might get you a few days of actual real world calories. They are full of carbs, sugars, and salt. Almost all have no actual meat, just TVP. They are very expensive for what you get.

Invest in a stovetop pressure cooker and learn how to use it. You can use it over a campfire if you need to. Dried beans and grains cook in a fraction of the time -- and precious fuel -- than regular cooking. Tough meat cooks fork tender.

Buy and store only foods your family already likes and eats. Use your stored food and replenish as budget and space allows. Buy an extra can or two of anything you use. Over time you'll build up a good food reserve at a fraction of the cost of those stupid prepper buckets.

Bugs and vermin plus heat and humidity WILL ruin your non-canned food storage if you don't package it properly. Break bulk quantities down to meal-sized units and vacuum seal with oxygen absorbers, then put them in a vermin proof container. Rotate thru your stock as real food does not keep forever. If the bag is puffed up, or it smells rancid or like old linseed oil, throw it on the compost as it's spoiled and is unhealthy to eat.

If you don't know how to cook, learn now, not when you're bugged out in an emergency. Learn the basics of nutrition. You need protein to maintain your bones, muscles and organs, carbs for energy, and fats to make certain nutrients usable. You need iodized table salt to prevent goiter, not fancy pink sea salt from the vaginas of celebrities. You need vitamin C and calcium to keep bones healthy. A daily multivitamin had everything your body needs -- don't count on getting all your needs from food if things get scarce. Pre menopausal women need a women's multi vite with iron. Too much iron is a thing, so don't go crazy.

Don't go overboard on mega doses of vitamins -- you'll just pee out any excess, and some can be toxic in high doses (don't eat polar bear livers, mmmmkay?). Rotate thru your vitamins -- they don't last forever.

Take a lesson on how people in "poor" countries eat -- it's almost always a staple consisting of grain and a protein-rich legume, plus whatever veges they can get. These combine to make a complete protein. No meat or dairy needed -- these are expensive luxuries. Beans and grains can take hours to cook, which is why I recommend the aforementioned pressure cooker. 1/2 hour for dried beans versus 2 to 3 hours for example. Season appropriately and these are delicious.

Youtube: Julia Pacheco's channel is a goldmine of simple, tasty, economical meals using everyday ingredients. She shows every stage of thr food prep so you can learn while you eat. She has videos on minimal-budget meals if you are out of money and still need to eat. She even shows budget meal prep from the dollar store.

Wolfe Pit is another good channel. Most of it lately is of the "I dared myself to eat this gross packaged meal" type but he has a few "struggle meal" gems for ultra cheap but adequately nutritious food.

Be careful with DIY canning meats and non-acidic fruits, as they can cause botulism if not processed long enough at a high enough trmperature in a pressure canner. Botulism paralyzes your muscles including the ones that make you breathe. It's a terrible way to die.

Speaking of terrible and unnecessary ways to die, get a tetanus shot now, and every 10 years thereafter. A wound from a rusty nail or animal bite can lead to "lockjaw", another disease that fucks up your muscles, except in this case they all contract till your bones break and you die in agony. Vaxxes don't cause autism -- chances are you're already an autist if you're reading this, so you have nothing to lose in any case.

If you get preventably sick in an emergency scenario, you're nothing but a burden to your family and others in your group, and you lessen everyone's chance for survival, so don't be the one they chase out of camp to die alone.
 
Just make pemmican.
All you need to do is add dried beef to beef Suet/tallow.
>get the leanest shittiest cut of beef you can find
>throw it in the freezer for two or three hours to make it easier to cut
>cut it as thin as you can manage
>dry it in a dehydrator or oven
>blend it until it is a meaty powder
>mix it weight for weight with melted suet
>vacuum seal it for bonus points
You will now have a high protein high calorie food with no carbs that has a shelf life of 100+ years.
 
It's not just food on your grocery list. Make sure you stock up on all the other shit you will need if you are hulled up for a prolonged period (like waiting for the fallout to dissipate after a nuclear exchange). Stock up on shit like tinfoil, parchment paper Ziploc bags, trash bags, wet wipes, soaps of all verities, cleaning chemicals, etc. All the things you will need to cook, eat, store, clean up and shit out the food you have stockpiled will be very necessary and is often overlooked. You don't want to end up stuck in your basement with an unwashed asshole, 2 weeks worth of shit and piss in the corner and a mm thick layer of slime over your entire body trying to choke down cold cans of Chef Boyardee in the dark.
 
Canned food is good to have but remember that it's high in salt. You would want to balance it with flour, beans or rice and extra water.
Chest freezers are really good for long term food storage. Food when frozen can last between 1 and 5 years depending on what it is, how it was made and how it was stored. Since chest freezers are low consumption you can run them off a battery, solar system or generator for short term emergencies like blackouts, blizzards and so on.
I would recommend you learn how to can things at home. You could have a chest freezer full of meat and a tub of lard in a pantry and when shit goes down you can all the meat before it goes bad using something as simple as a propane stove. Canning/potting meat in lard will last 3-6 months. You could also have a sack of salt and salt cure it which will last a month or two but later you will want to turn it into sausages and smoke them to preserve them for longer.
A thing I haven't seen mentioned is sugar. You can buy sugar and just have it sit in proper storage for as long as you need it. Sugar and flour/rice will make plenty of simple deserts. And you could use it to preserve fruits that would otherwise go bad in an emergency.
Canning, potting, curing, smoking are real skills you need to learn and develop. Just knowing they are a thing will not be enough, nor would just buying some books about it be. Try it. Try it a few times. You will fuck up. And fucking up is good you will need to learn how to see, smell and taste preserved food that has gone bad. The answer to "Will this kill me?" should never be "Maybe".
Start with something simple like pickles and move on to things like jams and beans before tackling meat.
Some random tips. Fridges/Chest freezers that have broken down can be used as decent storage containers once the refrigerant has been removed. It's white on both the inside and outside while also being insulated to some extent. Smarter animals can get through and rats will be able to eat through but it's a lot easier to see a long time ahead and will stop things like flies.
Buy pest control supplies ahead of time. Depending on how they work they can last between years and decades in storage. You don't want the happening to happen only to get defeated by RATS like Bossman Jack.
Don't buy the big boy cans of anything unless you can portion them out and store them otherwise. The 1kg can of tuna seemed like a good idea until I had to eat tuna for 4 days straight.
Diesel/Petrol last between 6 months to 2 years in storage. If you do plan on having a generator cycle through your fuel.
 
One thing I like to keep around that hasn't been mentioned are things like Datrex bars. They're little compressed individually-wrapped bars that are basically just fat and carbs - not suitable for a super long term solution, but nice to keep in get home bags, backpacking kits or the like because they're packed 12 to a brick that's maybe the size of your fist. Not particularly tasty (but also not completely unpalatable), but they're calorie-dense, super compact and they keep for a pretty long time.
 
Food wise I've been buying a lot of canned goods to have on hand for the last year. My freezer is filled in the event for some reason I cannot buy groceries. Many of the things in my freezer I can pressure can if power goes out. I also have lots of dry rice, lentils, and beans on hand.

Recently I ordered hundreds of servings worth of Ready Hour entrees, powdered milk, and black bean burgers. I also bought a tub of survival tabs. I have tons of Vitadapt vitamins and potassium iodine pills too. I keep lots of Organic Gatorade Powder on rotation, which will be useful when working outside.

Water access and purification goes hand in hand with food as well.

I reckon I have enough food to last me for a few years if I manage it properly. In the event SHTF you need be adding as much as you can to your stock as you take away from it through trade, farming, gathering, hunting, processin, and canning.

The only person I'm telling about my stock other than my parents who also have their own IRL is my bonded best friend, my neighbor, who's family are crazy Christian doomsday preppers with a farm. We will trade our resources, work together, and share the woodland hunting grounds we both own.

Nobody else needs to know about my stock or your stock of food. When times get tough, community building is important, but you need to protect your information and food location from pariahs and anyone who's loyalty is questionable.
 
  • Like
Reactions: FatalTater
Whatever foods you decide to hoard, make sure there is variety.
Learn new ways to serve them.
Tired of bean soup? Make chili, with or without beef. (do not start that fight about chili not having beans. Y'all know what I'm saying here.)
Is your stockpile of mac and cheese mix too creamy for your taste? Put a few drops of yellow mustard in it.
Bored of oatmeal? Add cinnamon or find a good cookie recipe.
Oatmeal can be served as a savory but every time I've had it that way my stomach asks me wtf I think I'm doing.

Little things can make a huge difference when you're bored with the foods you have, but have to make do anyway.
 
Back