Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 26 1.0%

  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 146 5.5%

  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 380 14.3%

  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 545 20.5%

  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 394 14.8%

  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 318 11.9%

  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 192 7.2%

  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 661 24.8%
  • Total voters
    2,662
Barbarella said:
Not only is it young, it’s expensive. I see people charging 100-500 bucks for that kind of art.
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It's incredible to me that people spend 100+ bucks on looking trashy and like their own finger tips are full of bacteria, but that seems on-brand for Tess.

I wonder if anyone has ever pointed out to her that the old money fashionistas she knew (very briefly) would die before wearing ghetto slut nails? Find me an A-list model or NYC socialite who wears that shit.

Lets see Anna Wintour rock that look.
Kitty kitty cat said:
Those beetus knuckles... I would be super worried, if I had hands that were purple and discolored but oh well.
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I'll never stop being amazed by people who refuse to see the neon flashing signs saying "DANGER!". Your own knuckles turned brown, and you can see that shit every time you use your own hands.
[Remember ALR covering her knuckles with dollar store foundation?]
IBrokeBob said:
Normal weight women do have some body changes due to hormones or pregnancy.
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Talk to me about the three pairs of expensive shoes I had to dump after my feet spread during my first pregnancy!
No, wait, DON'T talk to me about it, because I'm still pissed no one told me not to buy pricey shoes right before a planned pregnancy.
Stupid Sexy Flanders said:
This is exactly why I actually doubt she'd go on Ozempic
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She has nothing in her life but social media and cake farting. Ozempic would take away the only thing she loves. She certainly doesn't give a shit about her kids.
 
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The Ozempic arc is not gonna happen. Tess defines herself by her utter hedonism and her fatness. Take those away and what does she have? She will look terrible, she’d need tens of thousands of dollars of reconstructive surgery to address the loose skin, her tattoos would be ruined, and she will look like any other middle aged, bobbleheaded Ozempic user. Her only hook in modeling was being fat. She has no future in modeling but she believes her big comeback is happening any day now. Getting thin will completely remove any chance of a career. Her HAES fanbase will instantly turn on her too. Nah, the Ozempic arc is not going to happen for her.
 
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Clotso Coof said:
Lets see Anna Wintour rock that look.
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Not a fair comparison as Anna Wintour always looks like shit. She's a pissy dried-up Jewish troll who manages to make expensive clothing look cheap. She and Tess are very similar in terms of the energy they give off.

Fuck Anna Wintour and fuck Tess. Though personally I wouldn't fuck either of them even with someone else's dick.
 
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Clotso Coof said:
Talk to me about the three pairs of expensive shoes I had to dump after my feet spread during my first pregnancy!
No, wait, DON'T talk to me about it, because I'm still pissed no one told me not to buy pricey shoes right before a planned pregnancy.
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Nobody told me my ribcage would permanently be bigger after having my organs shoved up there by a growing kid.
Black Death said:
She's a pissy dried-up Jewish troll
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What is this, A&N? Besides, Wintour's family are all British toffs.
 
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Context first

a.PNG
Description: It's a statue of a giant pair of black legs in the position for doggy-style sex. There is no torso or feet.

Art connoisseur Tessy

1.PNG
 
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That ugly sculpture turned Tess into a goldfish?

As an OT FYI: there is a poll discussing the Kiwi Halloween merch run. This year Null is offering women’s cut tees if 100 women click the poll option, and as a first, this year we get zip up tees.

Very cozy to read the farms on a cool evening. Vote now and please ask for women’s cut!

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/2024-halloween-merch-run.199858/
 
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NoReturn said:
She looks extra-awful in this one. I wonder if something happened.
Her poor kids.
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Yeah, somebody really got to her, and I'm pretty sure it was somebody she's known for a while (a woman, hence "ugly bitch"), whose opinion mattered—not just some rando.

I'll the the first in line to say Tess is a phony, attention-seeking bitch, but there's genuine anger and hurt there. If it was just some stranger, she'd be sneering and sarcastic, but her eyes look like she's trying hard not to cry.

She's got her makeup extra done-up, so maybe she went to see someone she knew, hoping they'd give her work, and it led to them trying to say, "You're too fat to fit into anything, and if you want to work, losing weight is your only option," in the kindest, most diplomatic way possible. Which of course would piss her off, because anybody who knows her knows the topic of weight loss is forbidden territory.

I still don't feel bad for her, because she so stubbornly refuses to deal with reality, has a grossly inflated sense of her value to the world, and is still chasing after a career that is not only over, but in which she was never more than a novelty act. But it seems that some reality managed to slip through the cracks and hit her where it really hurts. Interesting; I wonder who delivered it.
 
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NoReturn said:
She looks extra-awful in this one. I wonder if something happened.
Her poor kids.
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Angry New Ager said:
Yeah, somebody really got to her, and I'm pretty sure it was somebody she's known for a while (a woman, hence "ugly bitch"), whose opinion mattered—not just some rando
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Wow, I don't think I've ever seen her at quite that level of unhinged, Chantal-esque rage before. It seems like she had a serious narc injury.

The first thing brought up is "you don't care about your kids" which concerns me for the kids. It seems like someone who genuinely care about Tess and her kids tried to have a somewhat serious conversation with her bringing up their concerns (maybe a mini intervention) and she got big mad.

But whatever, keep calling the people who are worried about you ugly bitches, Tess. Eff their beauty standards, and nourish your poor, anorexic body as much as you need to! And film your reactions to their concerns and post it online. That'll show 'em!!! And it'll show all us ugly internet trolls, too.
 
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Jacinda Ardern IRL said:
Wow, I don't think I've ever seen her at quite that level of unhinged, Chantal-esque rage before. It seems like she had a serious narc injury.

The first thing brought up is "you don't care about your kids" which concerns me for the kids. It seems like someone who genuinely care about Tess and her kids tried to have a somewhat serious conversation with her bringing up their concerns (maybe a mini intervention) and she got big mad.

But whatever, keep calling the people who are worried about you ugly bitches, Tess. Eff their beauty standards, and nourish your poor, anorexic body as much as you need to! And film your reactions to their concerns and post it online. That'll show 'em!!! And it'll show all us ugly internet trolls, too.
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It's interesting, because she keeps iterating the person is ugly. It shows where her values lie, how she thinks about herself, and what her fears are.

Maybe this is just my massive huff of copium, but I have encountered several mirrors, and I am definitely not Ryan Gosling. I do think the person has a point she should lose weight for her kids and that she would be pretty if she lost weight, and telling me I'm ugly doesn't really curb my thoughts, or if I felt compelled to say that, reminding me I look like the Merry Melodies retarded vulture isn't going to stop it. I guess I'll just have to skate by on truth and agreeability. It's okay, I guess.
 
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