Off-Topic Deathfat Encounters IRL - This thread is not your personal army.

[I call shenanigans]

I've heard Australians eat shit tons of "fairy bread" as after school snacks as they grow up. Explains a lot, when you think about it.

Nah, for most folk it was a special occasion treat (poor person party food), and a fucking disgusting one at that. It was not my bag, and I certainly never made it for my kids growing up.

 

[ATI Escapee]

Not quite the right thread but whatever, I want to vent. I started a new job part time, and though so far only one person is what I would consider a death fat ( Actually feel bad for the kid, can't be older than 22 or so and he is a good guy but has to be at least 350lbs and not taller than 5'6". I feel like his parents did it to him, how else can you be that size so young ) there are literal giant boxes of snacks for everyone from the vending machine guy who drops off all kinds of things like Cheetohs, Honey Buns, Doritos, etc etc etc because they are expired or soon to expire. They aren't spoiled though, because they aren't made of any real ingredients lmao. Everyone keeps pushing these God awful unhealthy slop snack bags on me and I am tired of saying no already. They just keep telling me to eat and questioning why I haven't had any of the snacks yet. Boss got everyone coffee and they all acted like I was from another planet by not wanting cream or sugar- just black coffee. Kept trying to get me to take at least a little milk in the coffee no matter how much I insisted I wanted it just black. I love everyone there so far, but damn, they have a way of making me feel like an outsider by not participating in their daily beetus forming habits. I have to remind myself that my eating habits (limiting processed junk and sugar) are not actually that weird, I just live in the middle of Deatfat Valley, USA. I am even 'required', in a lighthearted way, to eat fast food on certain days of the week because Boss pays for dinner from a certain fast food joint and doesn't want to eat alone. Haven't had to actually deal with that yet but once my training is over and my normal shifts start, then that is a thing that I will have to handle. I am thankful for a generous boss and great coworkers... but I don't want to sit around eating French fries all day

Spoiler: pl

I am about 15lbs overweight right now, and am trying pretty hard to stay in the gym consistently and eat reasonably. So not an anachan or vegan or anything extreme where people are worried about my earing habits, just someone who is used to eating only what I cook at home. Feels weird to be this different from my coworkers regarding our food habits.

 

[John Badman]

It’s called living in the South.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Everyone keeps pushing these God awful unhealthy slop snack bags on me and I am tired of saying no already. They just keep telling me to eat and questioning why I haven't had any of the snacks yet. Boss got everyone coffee and they all acted like I was from another planet by not wanting cream or sugar- just black coffee. Kept trying to get me to take at least a little milk in the coffee no matter how much I insisted I wanted it just black.

What the hell is wrong with these people? Do you work in logistics of an HR company or something? They've really maximized for crocodilian-karen behaviour.

 

[deputydogshit2.0]

New fatties with an annoying fucking Boston accent CowView attachment 6480767

She sounds like Fat Amy Ramadan to me.

 

[I call shenanigans]

I have to remind myself that my eating habits (limiting processed junk and sugar) are not actually that weird, I just live in the middle of Deatfat Valley, USA. I am even 'required', in a lighthearted way, to eat fast food on certain days of the week because Boss pays for dinner from a certain fast food joint and doesn't want to eat alone. Haven't had to actually deal with that yet but once my training is over and my normal shifts start, then that is a thing that I will have to handle. I am thankful for a generous boss and great coworkers... but I don't want to sit around eating French fries all day

You’re not weird, you’re just different from your co-workers. I also rarely eat what I haven’t made myself, and while I don’t owe others an explanation, I usually just go with a food allergy/intolerance excuse if I’m pushed. It doesn’t always shut others up, but it mostly works pretty well, and doesn’t require long explanations. What you choose to eat, doesn’t affect what others can choose, all it might do is poke at their guilty consciences. The less you can say about your choices, the better. Make an excuse, and make it clear that it’s non-negotiable, and that you choose not to discuss the matter any further.

 

[Snusmumriken]

Saw a morbidly obese foreigner try to step over a bench and knock the whole thing over in a crowded restaurant not too long ago. Fat fuck just sat down without even trying to fix it. An employee had to come by and fix it for him. It would have been funny if we weren’t from the same country.

 

[Clostridium Botulinum]

love everyone there so far, but damn, they have a way of making me feel like an outsider by not participating in their daily beetus forming habits. I have to remind myself that my eating habits (limiting processed junk and sugar) are not actually that weird, I just live in the middle of Deatfat Valley, USA. I am even 'required', in a lighthearted way, to eat fast food on certain days of the week because Boss pays for dinner from a certain fast food joint and doesn't want to eat alone.

As someone who works in a sports bar and surrounded by the BP oil spill in our food every day, I feel ya. My trick is to just count your calories and eat normal meals in situations that call for it (like your job) and then reduce your calorie intake during the rest of the day

 

[a hapless toad]

Recently I was in a convenience store and there were two kids in line in front of me, a girl about 7 or 8 and a boy maybe 4 or 5. The boy was obese but the girl was Slaton-esque, already developing a Tammy forehead.

They had a ton of snacks - egg rolls, ice cream bars, honey buns, and candy - and were paying for it with a debit card. Except there wasn't enough money on the card so they put each item back one at a time and tried their purchase again until only the egg rolls were left. When that transaction was denied they dejectedly waddled off.

Normally when I see someone in that situation I will step in and pay for them if I can. In this instance I considered it for a second... and then I thought nah, these little porkers don't need snacks.

 

[Clostridium Botulinum]

a girl about 7 or 8 and a boy maybe 4 or 5. The boy was obese but the girl was Slaton-esque, already developing a Tammy forehead.

That's fucking terrifying for a child.

Doctors should be mandated to report any child over 30 bmi to CPS. That's as bad as not giving your child lifesaving treatment because your skitzo yoga instructor told you it causes autism.

 

[Bill Evans 45]

then that is a thing that I will have to handle

In your position, I'd explain that anything but low fat foods give you the galloping shits.

 

[Clotso Coof]

Everyone keeps pushing these God awful unhealthy slop snack bags on me and I am tired of saying no already.

This is becoming increasingly common in the USA. I had bad experiences with it in an all female office 15 yrs ago, and it seems to be a lot worse now.

I know several people with digestive disorders who get harassed several times a week by fatasses pushing junk food. No one should feel obligated to tell Fat Office Karen that they have a medical disorder while they're just trying to do their fucking jobs.

I don't like legal overreach into workplaces, but I'm open to the idea that office food-pushers are committing harassment based on "disability or perceived disability" (already illegal). They'll claim they think someone has an eating disorder if they dont eat the office snack slop, so that means they're harassing based on that federally-protected category of disabilty.

I love everyone there so far, but damn, they have a way of making me feel like an outsider by not participating in their daily beetus forming habits.

Don't love bullies. Just because they're pushing you around with a smile on their faces, doesn't mean they're not bullying you.

Co-workers should respect personal boundaries. And don't buy that "I'm just concerned about you!" bullshit either. They don't actually think you're starving because you refuse to eat Doritos all day.

 

[Haram-Habibi]

Ugh, honey buns have to be the most disgusting snack food out there. It is the most sickly sweet thing you can imagine.

I always wanna ask "what were you in for?" when I see someone buying them. That revolting shit is popular in the prison canteen.

(No, was never a guest at the Graybar Hotel, just had a past job that was jail-adjacent. Cons love them some honey buns.....)

 

[Tiresome]

Hell, a week or two on Nutriloaf and a generic-brand honey bun would taste as good as creme brulee.

 

[Cuntspiracy Man]

anyone has stories of deathfats impressing them? not 'oh he's fat but a chill guy', i mean proper seeing a mega obeso in public, thinking they're a mess, and then suddenly they perform some incredible feat that makes you reconsider judging them

stepping over a curb doesn't count as an impressive feat, yes even if they're 600lb

 

[Clostridium Botulinum]

I just had another encounter with death fats at work that truly validates the existence of sumptuary laws.

These 4 things that look like they were ripped straight out of rejected character design bin for concord sit at my bar. They each order Dr. Pepper, fries covered in ranch, cheese, bacon, and distilled beetus, 10 fried wings with copius amounts of ranch and blue cheese, and a large tavern pizza. EACH OF THEM. They then proceed to guzzle their soda and slam it down on the bar as if their Valhalla was a golden corral, all while scarfing down as much pizza, fry, and wing as their mouth allowed. They went through about 4-5 cups of dr pepper each like this. Sauce was caked onto the stainless steel bar top to a point I needed pink stuff to clean it.

Also no one tipped. I will refuse service to these guys next time.

 

[Dr. Butt]

I just had another encounter with death fats at work that truly validates the existence of sumptuary laws.

These 4 things that look like they were ripped straight out of rejected character design bin for concord sit at my bar. They each order Dr. Pepper, fries covered in ranch, cheese, bacon, and distilled beetus, 10 fried wings with copius amounts of ranch and blue cheese, and a large tavern pizza. EACH OF THEM. They then proceed to guzzle their soda and slam it down on the bar as if their Valhalla was a golden corral, all while scarfing down as much pizza, fry, and wing as their mouth allowed. They went through about 4-5 cups of dr pepper each like this. Sauce was caked onto the stainless steel bar top to a point I needed pink stuff to clean it.

Also no one tipped. I will refuse service to these guys next time.

I honestly wouldn't mind so much if I was allowed to sit down at that same bar and flagrantly shoot up while also smoking marijuana and ordering a hooker on my phone. But for some reason, the disruptive behaviour of deathfats is acceptable to society and the deathfats themselves seem to honestly think they are different from a public junkie or alcoholic.

 

[Heavy Duty Boots]

anyone has stories of deathfats impressing them? not 'oh he's fat but a chill guy', i mean proper seeing a mega obeso in public, thinking they're a mess, and then suddenly they perform some incredible feat that makes you reconsider judging them

stepping over a curb doesn't count as an impressive feat, yes even if they're 600lb

One time when I was a teenager I played basketball with a guy, no quite deathfat, but well on his way to become one, must have been at least 250 pounds. He was so fat his sweat smelled and (as I found out unfortunately) tasted like pure sugar. Regardless of that, the mf kept up with the rest of us and actually played very competently. Fairly impressive.

 

[The Queen of Autists]

anyone has stories of deathfats impressing them? not 'oh he's fat but a chill guy', i mean proper seeing a mega obeso in public, thinking they're a mess, and then suddenly they perform some incredible feat that makes you reconsider judging them

stepping over a curb doesn't count as an impressive feat, yes even if they're 600lb

I know a 450 pound man that can do the splits at 43 he was an artistic type closet gay fat. Nice guy!

 

[Marc]

That reminded me of a morbidly obese fag I worked with a million years ago, who would peppily announce his frequent restroom breaks with, "Time to clean the chute!." He had a co-worker who had come with him from another company and, whenever he was discussed, the only thing the guy I had assumed to be an old acquaintance could think to say about him each time was to laugh, shake his head, and say, "He likes his food!."

I know we all overestimate what we mean to others, but this was a functioning member of society nonetheless regarded to be little more than a high traffic rectum.