Hurricane Milton

[Alex Hogendorp]

The Gods have Spoken! Florida is definitely on the cutting board!

 

[Tar&FeatherFurrys]

FEMA Urgent Assist Package - (5) Narcan sprays, (2) quarts of lubricant, (30) condoms assorted variety, (2) Lunchables cracker packs, (6) 16.9oz PRIME Energy Drink

Thank god they expanded the relief fund to include the energy drink those lunchables crackers always leaves a man mighty parched.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

A storm so severe it’s literally too big to fit on earth sounds terrifying as hell.

 

[A Cardboard Box]

he's still a Cat 5, winds at 165mph and pressure at 914mb. But a lot lower than the 180mph+ we were seeing earlier today. Cooler nighttime air might also have something to do with it.

It's just going through a wall replacement cycle

 

[Thiletonomics]

Watch the climate change cult get rock hard over this.

Did Battlefield 2042 unintentionally predict this storm would happen? In the intro video, it says that the World's First Category 6 storm struck the US, presumably Florida, in 2024:

Will Milton even get to the point that it will literally create a Category 6 level for hurricanes?

 

[Eventide]

Biden has lost the Mandate of Heaven, VOTE TRUMP! Or worse will follow!

Clearly the Biden administration allowing the Middle East to go Fugazi under its watch has awoken the Middle Eastern God King "Marduk" from his ancient slumber. Furious, God King Marduk is now lobbing hurricanes at the United States (...literally Marduk had the power to throw hurricanes/violent storms at his enemies. That was like, his Kame-hame-ha finishing move in mythology)

 

[National Defense Advocate]

Rough out here, Kiwis. Just recorded this from my porch!

 

[Kier Starmer]

How apt its called Milton, a biblical level storm for a bible sattire.

Mother nature really hates Kamala she must be drunk screeching right now.

Also stay safe and leave ASAP Florida farmers. Of course praying mama Moon is safe.

 

[Star Spangled Bogger]

Why do they give hurricanes such goober names?

 

[Lurker]

-uncaps sharpie-

we can fix this, boys

 

[Haram-Habibi]

West Florida kiwis, where would you even evacuate to?
There doesn’t seem to be good info about how far you need to go. Would Gainesville be safe?
It would be an eerie trip to go to somewhere like Valdosta or Tallahassee because you start running into damage from Helene.
If I was in Tampa I’d make the big brain play and go south to Miami instead. There’s no way Miami is taking a direct hit, and no Helene damage. A glancing blow is quite possible but it’ll be on the weak side.

I'm on the Atlantic side, and ran into someone at Publix who is sheltering with family here. She's from the Gulf side. We're most likely to get Milton as a Cat 1 after it crosses the peninsula.

Spoiler: Floridian Hurricane Evacuation Decision Formula

Cat 1's are good for getting out of school/work and binging your favorite streaming service as long as the power stays on. You put up the shutters/plywood and have a good nap after pigging out on snacks or drinking beer/margaritas. Cat 2 is pretty much the same. Everyone's house *should* be more than able to withstand Cat 2 winds.

Hopefully you aren't in a flood zone, or you don't get a lot of rain dumped on you. That's a buzzkill for your hurricane party, ya know??

In most cases, Cat 1 and Cat 2 are just shelter in place, because you are going to have to go to work the next day. Publix and Walmart will be out of water, milk, eggs, bread, beer and pop tarts. Gas up the cars and settle in.

Cat 3....ok, now you got to start to care, and debate if you are sticking around. Find out what the Waffle House is doing or if Jim Cantore is in the county. If WH is limited service, you might stick around.

Cat 4? Just board it all up and GTFO. If you have family in another part of the state, go visit them.
You'll get to return the favor soon enough when a storm hits them. If you don't have family, head inland or to a county storm shelter.

Cat 5? If you insist on sticking around, get a sharpie, write your name/DOB, maybe Social Security number or your address on an arm or leg. It will make it easier to identify your body later, dumbass.

Lots of us go to Orlando if a bad storm's coming. It's inland, and there's tons of hotels to stay at. BTDT.

Milton might still be a beast when it gets to the middle of the peninsula, though, so there's more people scooting over to the Atlantic coast (Jacksonville/Daytona/Melbourne) than usual. Orlando won't get hit as hard as Tampa or the coast, but it's still expected to be pretty strong. Disney World is closing - yes, it often stays open when a storm hits, but not this time. The tons of tourist hotels aren't taking in guests to ride it out, and that's not a good sign.

Northern Florida (Gainesville/Tallahassee) and/or Georgia are still cleaning up after Helene, so that's not a place to run to this time.

Heading south isn't a good option this time, sorry. They're expecting 5-10 inches of rain in Miami and the Keys. Lots of potential flooding there.

Anyway, we've all gotten drenched with rain over the past two weeks, so.....

*deep breath*

Yeah, this is pretty much the nightmare hurricane scenario. Cat 5, aiming at a major city that hasn't dealt with a direct hit in over a century, ground already soggy, and the Rat Palace is battening down the hatches. Usual escape routes not an option this time. If Milton doesn't calm the fuck down, big chunks of the state could be in trouble.

If you're on good terms with God, keep the Gulf coast in your prayers, incantations and recitations, please.

It's a great time for FEMA to be out of money. Really.

We still have over a month and a half of hurricane season, too.

 

[like_shutup_&_drive_scoob]

And this is why I'll never ever live in Florida.

Holy shit.

 

[Big Merv]

I live in a place where we deal with cyclones and flash flooding every summer. I went through more than one cat 5 as a kid. This storm looks very fucking scary to me.
The wind will be extremely destructive and the water will be much worse in the weeks afterwards. Any house that survives the hurricane will go moldy and rot from the moisture. People literally lose everything to flood waters.
I usually don't worry about random strangers on the other side of the world but I'm feeling very sorry for anyone who is going to have to deal with this.

 

[northstar747]

wait will samcrac have more flooded cars to buy at auction

 

[GenociderSyo]

Cat 5? If you insist on sticking around, get a sharpie, write your name/DOB, maybe Social Security number or your address on an arm or leg. It will make it easier to identify your body later, dumbass.

I had to take a CERT course after Katrina and the proctor who was pretty blunt said the people who refuse to leave the mandatory evacuation area should have just preput their X marking up so they knew to skip the search and rescue for live bodies.

 

[Autistic Integrity]

Ralphs poor cats

 

[There She Glows]

I spent a few years in Tampa Bay and most of the people I met were really cool and friendly. Praying for all our florida man kiwis.

 

[Dropsies]

I don't know if anyone's mentioned it, but part of the shit show most people don't consider is the abrupt human migration experienced by the entire gulf coast. Any time someone murmurs the words mandatory evacuation, you are fucked. It's not just the flood of people migrating, it's the power company trucks choking the road and hotels for a week prior. Even if you're far from the storm, every city deploys every gigantic six wheel truck they have and a lot of them from WAY out of state as contractors. Every hotel is full, even the shit ones, traffic is up 400% and RIP store shelves, they disable the delivery of water, bread and dairy from Wal-Mart + during all of these things because people stockpile.

Examining extensive charts, I believe I've found the real victim / target in this weather charade.

View attachment 6498354

That's right, Trans-Women are disproportionately affected by storms of this magnitude.

What does wawa have to do with troons I don't understand

 

[LaxerBRO]

First photos I could find out of Progreso, Yucatan, Mexico


Current location.




Photos uploaded on 10/7 @ 2200 PST.

 

[Autistic Integrity]

I had to take a CERT course after Katrina and the proctor who was pretty blunt said the people who refuse to leave the mandatory evacuation area should have just preput their X marking up so they knew to skip the search and rescue for live bodies.

Why would you need to search and rescue peoples houses that evacuated?