🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Die For Me!]

Something's telling me we're getting a heal stream for a certain victim of hurricane Milton (Sorreh Helene!)

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Come to think of it, wouldn't a real badass gonzo journalist want to be in the hurricane to give first-hand account and documentation? Ralph of course wouldn't do that because that would actually be interesting content.

 

[deeman]

Why didn't Ralphgguyver just build a raft out of his drunken pissbottles and all his serving papers as a sail and huffed and puffed his way to somewhere nicer, like Tahiti?

 

[retard strength II]

Now that he is out of his kids' life, Ralph makes me laugh, like actual lol, harder than anyone else featured on this website. There is always a payoff after his dormant periods. He will survive this hurricane so that we may all continue to laugh at him. He is built like a concrete wall [fat].

That said, I haven't kept up with him in a bit. I am guessing he left Cleo at the killshack alone again?

 

[30+GameOvers]

Imagine being such a weak coward as this pig, he talks a lot of shit but the instant danger shows up he flees, squealing and begging for mercy. That's just how weak he is. A weak pig. A cowardly weak pig. This pig has no courage at all. Even the sight of a fist sends him into flight.

Let's be fair, with how much Ronnie raped him as a kid, this has become second nature to him
Well, he's not called "bitch" for nothing, of course he won't go out there for CAWHTENT and will instead cry in fear in whatever shitty motel he's in as he seethes on twitter.
Sad, irrelevant, impotent fat little piggy whose skin is falling apart. When he inevitably melts into his couch like Ronnie, it won't be in the country his daddy gave him or even his own home, it will be in some shitty hotel LMFAO!

 

[GettrGriftr]

Ralph! Render yourself fit for duty to earn money cleaning up the Yucatan after that Jew hurricane does its worst!

Remember, you need money.

 

[UCantCCPMe]

Ralph, while you're lying there on that hotel bed, hiding from a little wind and rain, I want you to think about the quality of housekeeping at a Mexican hotel and not about the fact that some guy last week probably jizzed on the pillow you're using.

 

[Braphamut]

Ralph has been granted another opportunity to be LIVE ON SCENE as a JOURNALIST and just squanders it hiding inside and watching niggerball.

What's the worst that could happen? A tornado touches down and Ralph gets whisked away to his incestral homeland of the oompa loompas?

Ah liv awn da yella brick rowd, bish! Compression sawks ah'n suspender shorts are verra fashionable, if yew wanna kno da troof uv it!

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Ralph has been granted another opportunity to be LIVE ON SCENE as a JOURNALIST and just squanders it hiding inside and watching niggerball.

What's the worst that could happen? A tornado touches down and Ralph gets whisked away to his incestral homeland of the oompa loompas?

Ah liv awn da yella brick rowd, bish! Compression sawks ah'n suspender shorts are verra fashionable, if yew wanna kno da troof uv it!

Flying monkey no stop no shoooow

 

[AltisticRight]

You know what? I am having a midlife crisis now.
I have squandered all my life and energy mopping up a gay subforum filled to the brim with autists at the measly pay of $0 an hour. What a waste of my time.
I always wanted to be a storm chaser, living on the edge, filming natural disasters like a total chad with zero regards for my personal safety. I do it in the name of thrill-seeking and the science.
In my dreams, I chase hurricanes on a motorcycle while blasting out music calling cartels a bunch of whipped pussy bitches. Can you imagine the CHAD energy emanating from me? All the senoritas will drop their pants and create minifloods!
I will be so utterly epically PWNED if someone else films hurricanes from a motorcycle while blasting tunes calling the cartels a bunch of street brats. That will bring me pain and agony.
Luckily, Ethan Ralph would not be the one to deliver this blow. He is too broke to own a motorcycle and too much of a pussy piggy with quadruple titties to film one.
SAD.

 

[Rage Pig]

Piggy lies about having a friend irl. The Gunt mobile is definitely gone, he's now forced to use a bus. I can't think of another reason why he would mention the status of bus transport so often. No sane person would travel by bus in Mexico if they had the option to use a car.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Piggy lies about having a friend irl. The Gunt mobile is definitely gone, he's now forced to use a bus. I can't think of another reason why he would mention the status of bus transport so often. No sane person would travel by bus in Mexico if they had the option to use a car.View attachment 6499476

How would the guntmobile even be gone? Does he owe money, which he isn't paying, on a car he doesn't even have anymore? Damn, I'd be so owned if that was true.

 

[Die For Me!]

Ah juss keep missing dese storms bah sheer luck

Ralph confirming that he got a ride to Cancun is an uncontrollable fit of tard rage without even considering a hurricane might prevent him from streaming is funny as fuck. Bragging about it on Twitter? That's lolcowdom for ya!

airports closed... buses closed... shaken mah heeaad

You left your cats to die just like you left your momma to die; scared and alone!
Suffah Pig!

 

[Step out of the car sir]

Piggy lies about having a friend irl. The Gunt mobile is definitely gone, he's now forced to use a bus. I can't think of another reason why he would mention the status of bus transport so often. No sane person would travel by bus in Mexico if they had the option to use a car.View attachment 6499476

He’s going to waddle back to the metal tomb he calls a house to find it completely destroyed and a mumbling man driving off with his cats while mentioning a female cop.

 

[Obscura539]

You all are acting like Ralph isn’t a massive coward. He will run and hide from any threat. He hid from Ronnie, he will hide form Milton. He ran to Mexico because people were leaving corn at his house. When he is out in public he clutches a purse. You don’t think he’s booking the next flight if there’s a 1% chance he might get hurt?

 

[AncientPhosphur]

When he is out in public he clutches a purse.

First of all it’s not a purse it’s a satchel. He has it because he’s too fat to store things in his pockets.



Also the real reason he won’t stream in public is because he’s afraid of getting his ass beat being recognized and alogged he is so much of a famous internet celebrity it’ll interrupt his stream from all his loving fans wanting to see him!

 

[Lidl Drip]

Piggy lies about having a friend irl. The Gunt mobile is definitely gone, he's now forced to use a bus. I can't think of another reason why he would mention the status of bus transport so often. No sane person would travel by bus in Mexico if they had the option to use a car.View attachment 6499476

He's just so lucky to always flee and leave his cats behind when a storm is approaching so they are left without water, food or air conditioner for days.

 

[Schpoots]

If ralph had any honor, he'd go record the hurricane if you want to know the truth about it.

 

[Major Child]

If ralph had any honor, he'd go record the hurricane if you want to know the truth about it.

"Even the weather's alogging me"

 

[Elmo]

He's just so lucky to always flee and leave his cats behind when a storm is approaching so they are left without water, food or air conditioner for days.

In due fairness, he also did this to his wife and children when he still had them.