Seriously, I've said this before, but she should consider Satanism. Like, actual Laveyan Satanism where she could go to a Satanist church and do their potlucks and shit. It would probably get a lot of different attention than the Jewish LARP, but since their whole deal is "do whatever you want is the whole of the law" I just really think it sounds like Becky's JAM. And a lot of those guys are old-school polyamorous too (more like Swingers, but same outcome).
But then she wouldn't be super special so I guess that's off the table..
She couldn't be a Satanist (or Libertarian or whatever) because
she wants freedom but absolutely does not want her family to have it. She wants to exercise her freedoms however she wants but any actual freedom she gives Daniel or Jackson is an illusion that she can revoke with a single argument.
She basically just wants to be a literal queen with a literal harem and make all the hard work/money making everyone else's problem.
Anyway, what I really wanted to ask was - why does Polyamory entail real commitment moreso than monogamy? I think I disagree with that premise. Polyamory demands that you squish down all your bad feels about jealousy so that your partner can put their genitalia on other genitalia. I dunno if I'd characterize that as a "commitment" so much as "insanity that goes against our base instincts."
Why do you say it takes a lot of commitment? Genuinely curious, cause I hear that a lot and I really don't get it.
In theory Polyamory is simply maintaining additional relationships and
should be a "normal" relationship. The sex aspect gets overhyped in most discussions of poly - but the expectation is that you're available to your partners emotionally as well (because, if it was strictly physical - that's swinging) and constant emotional engagement can be extremely draining. It's one of the least understood but most important parts of poly and why so many poly relationships explode hilariously.
If you have (for example) two girlfriends - that's twice as much "tell me about your day? Oh you don't like another girl you work with, how craaazy" and twice as much of everything you normally do in a relationship
plus the compounding nature of having twice as much to do but not nearly twice as much time. Even if you're splitting the load - you are that person's partner with everything that entails, the good and the bad. If girlfriend #1's car breaks down at 5AM and needs an emergency ride to work, it's your phone going off. Girlfriend #2 really wants to go some terrible concert you're going to be clearing your weekend off and so on.
On top of all of that is the extremely heightened emotions because polyamory is a lightning rod for bitterness and jealousy - it's normal and natural no matter how many books say "no you can totally not be jealous". In a regular relationship it's normal to be jealous and insecure - it's amplified because now those insecurities are probably true, such as "do you think so-and-so is prettier than me" or "if me and so-and-so were in a burning building..." and so on.
To be clear - I'm not advocating for it and I think it's way too much work for very little gain, but I do try and understand how it all works. The only thing I could compare it to is trying to work two full time jobs that sometimes have the same hours (like trying to take call center calls while working a security job) or being one of those chess hustlers who play 2 or 3 games at the same time.
