Anna o' Brien / Glitter + Lazers / GlitterandLazers - Fat, drunk, consoomer attention whore who would rather eat and drink herself to death than endure a single negative emotion

[Breadbear]

She's writing about some guy's sheep dog in a market and all I'm imagining is this:

Complete with wolf collar.
Come buy your scarves, y'all.

 

[-Jack-]

Wow, Anna? You're still using Threads?! So lame! Didn't you know everyone's using BlueSky now? time to hop onto that trend to appear younger than you are. I'm surprised she hasn't yet because It's even more of a "liberal" hug box compared to Twitter & Threads.

 

[pippeyyy]

Is this holiday "story" also very similar to her Christmas look book video where she stayed in a small house and stomped around like Godzilla in Texas.

 

[OttoWest]

Is this holiday "story" also very similar to her Christmas look book video where she stayed in a small house and stomped around like Godzilla in Texas.

They’re all the same story. Her BBQ romance was also about a big city gal returning to her small town only to find love— this time with a pitmaster played by Idris Elba.

I love that she posted this. Christmas has come early!

@Barbarella already nailed it, but I’m always blown away over her childish view of love and relationship. Men are just handsome, mindless, dickless Ken dolls made to smoosh faces with Lipidema Barbie. They don’t argue, they’re always respectful, they don’t leave the bathroom a mess.

I get that it’s a common enough fantasy except that Anna has never had sex much less lived with a man so it’s not coming from a place of “don’t you wish men could be more X” rather “everyone else is an extra in the movie that is my life”.

 

[glass_houses]

already nailed it, but I’m always blown away over her childish view of love and relationship. Men are just handsome, mindless, dickless Ken dolls made to smoosh faces with Lipidema Barbie. They don’t argue, they’re always respectful, they don’t leave the bathroom a mess.

The writer and diarist Anais Nin- herself a raging Cluster B clusterfuck- famously said, “We don't see people as they are. We see people as we are.”

Anna sees her ideal man as a completely one dimensional sex toy with no other goals or desires in life other than to be the man of her dreams. He's a rustic hunk who's incredible with animals but is also a full time craftsman who sells his homespun scarfs and jumpers in the middle of a massive European city that's also fifteen minutes walk away from his organic farm that's been in his family for five hundred years. Note the conspicuous lack of shearing scars on his hands and arms or sheep shit under his fingernails, as well as the fact that while his ewes were lambing, he spent the time that he was supposed to be watching them for dangerous birthing complications embroidering a blankie for her instead.

I know that Anna's little plot outline is piffle and it's meant to be piffle, but it is so revealing about her mentality and personality that it's almost a diagnostic report.

"This dreamboat, why exactly is he attracted to you? What's in this relationship for him?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

A ways back I was talking with a narcissist friend and she was complaining about how she couldn't find a boyfriend up to her "standards". I told her she needed to lower her expectations... by a lot. She was a fucking train wreck and at forty years old, expecting Ryan Reynolds to show up at her door any day now and beg for her hand in marriage was somewhat unrealistic.

 

[Kitty kitty cat]

She finished posting and I htink this was the storyboard for her hallmark movie she suck half a mil into and then decided not to do it has the things she said was in it.

Holy mother of ..... this shit is amazing. The fact she unironically wrote and uploaded this is just chefs kiss. I bet she sat back, with a feeling of accomplishment and toasted herself with a nice xxxl glas of wine.
@Diet Coke 4 Life do you think, I could count some of the cringe I felt as my daily cardio?

 

[blue gopher snakes]

That was toe curling levels of cringe. Oh Anna. She desperately wants a Hallmark leading man to gracefully crawl out of her TV and take her away from her everyday life.

The part of her little self-insert Hallmark flavored fan-fiction that offends me most of all is that Anna/Ella doesn’t realize how vapid and insubstantial a life built on influencing truly is in comparison to the tangible, real-world profession of sheep farming. Even in her wildest fantasy, Anna is a modern leech and brings the cancer of reality TV to her quaint Christmas village. She gives up nothing, gains everything, and ends up “visibly pregnant.” (Which means Anna imagines herself as a skinny legend when she writes this schlock)

The fact that she also assumes a sheep farmer would have enough spare time for an entire second profession in fiber arts is hilariously out of touch.

Behold: Anna’s hunk!

(Idk this man it was just one of the top Google results for “sheep farmer” and it seemed to contrast nicely with Anna’s masturbatory fodder.)

Farmers are salt of the earth types who would more than likely be offended by the lifestyle of an influencer. She wants a rough-handed man without understanding what kind of woman would be attractive to such a person. Here’s a hint: it’s definitely not a thousand pound influencer with cratered facial skin and no real world skills.

 

[ghjoigcbn]

The writer and diarist Anais Nin- herself a raging Cluster B clusterfuck- famously said, “We don't see people as they are. We see people as we are.”

Anna sees her ideal man as a completely one dimensional sex toy with no other goals or desires in life other than to be the man of her dreams. He's a rustic hunk who's incredible with animals but is also a full time craftsman who sells his homespun scarfs and jumpers in the middle of a massive European city that's also fifteen minutes walk away from his organic farm that's been in his family for five hundred years. Note the conspicuous lack of shearing scars on his hands and arms or sheep shit under his fingernails, as well as the fact that while his ewes were lambing, he spent the time that he was supposed to be watching them for dangerous birthing complications embroidering a blankie for her instead.

I know that Anna's little plot outline is piffle and it's meant to be piffle, but it is so revealing about her mentality and personality that it's almost a diagnostic report.

"This dreamboat, why exactly is he attracted to you? What's in this relationship for him?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

A ways back I was talking with a narcissist friend and she was complaining about how she couldn't find a boyfriend up to her "standards". I told her she needed to lower her expectations... by a lot. She was a fucking train wreck and at forty years old, expecting Ryan Reynolds to show up at her door any day now and beg for her hand in marriage was somewhat unrealistic.

Another thing that stuck out to me was the complete lack of other people. Farmer dude doesnt have a sibling or parent or anyone who helps with the farm/ business. He’s just like her, completely alone except for his dog.

I also agree that it’s hilarious that she turned the place into a reality show at the end, and there was no conflict about this. It would have been more interesting if the guy or someone was against the show, even if in the end they came around, because i guess that’s what happens in these flicks? The protagonist doesnt have to mature, change, or sacrifice anything, and gets everything she wants! It’s perfect for Anna.

 

[GenociderSyo]

Anna's next trip is to see Taylor Swift with scalped (they had been sold out for ages) tickets on December 8th in Vancouver, Canada.

 

[Dr. Armchair]

I read every word of her story, waiting for Lukas to wind up being the prince of winterwald, and this made me legit laugh. View attachment 6663908
lol, they're shipping Lord Lukas and his dog.
I think he'll give up his kingdom and follow her back to the States like a good modern man. If she finishes the story, anyway.

sorry, they’re shipping the man and the DOG? is this normal? i have no idea about these kind of internet things but it seems a bit off. wouldn’t that mean the dog and the peasant are romantically involved?

edit: thank you @ghjoigcbn i was very confused

 

[ghjoigcbn]

sorry, they’re shipping the man and the DOG? is this normal? i have no idea about these kind of internet things but it seems a bit off. wouldn’t that mean the dog and the peasant are romantically involved?

she meant everyone was shipping Ella or whatever and the dude but her writing is so sloppy it sounds like they were shipping the dog and the dude.

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

@Diet Coke 4 Life do you think, I could count some of the cringe I felt as my daily cardio?

With the amount of cringe that was in that shit... I'd say it counts at least as a good 5k jog. Holy shit it was bad.

 

[Genuine Orientalist]

If Anna was capable of honesty, she’d write about the pain loneliness has created because of her fear of human companionship, especially male.

Anna desperately craves human connection but is deathly afraid of people being honest with her. She doesn’t realize that’s what any real relationship is built upon. Women are much more likely to lie to people so as to not hurt their feelings and to agree to be around people out of pity but these still aren’t real fulfilling relationships and Anna can tell.

Her cliched sanitized story is evidence of how naive she is about the world and what connection means. There is no man just standing idly by to be her lover and who will accommodate all of her life decisions. There is no magical solution where you get everything you want without any sacrifice. The protagonist in her story despite being described as a hardworking career woman, is incredibly passive in all the events of the story and doesn’t have to make any serious decisions, everyone is accommodating to her wants.

 

[Clotso Coof]

but it is so revealing about her mentality and personality that it's almost a diagnostic report.

It's amazing. It's like her mind is a garbage can full of old junk, and she just spilled it all over the floor in front of a 4k camera feed. "Look! Look at all my vapid, self-centered ideas about life! Here's exactly why I will never grow up!"

all I'm imagining is this:

Complete with wolf collar.

LMAO, that's exactly what I was picturing. Only mine was glaring at scarf customers.

Does Anna even know what a sheep dog on a sheep farm does? Does she think they take December off work?

A ways back I was talking with a narcissist friend and she was complaining about how she couldn't find a boyfriend up to her "standards". I told her she needed to lower her expectations... by a lot. She was a fucking train wreck

God, listening to people like that is exhausting. They do they same thing about careers, too. Here's comes the Job Fairy with that amazing job you're not even qualified for!

Anna is like that about everything, including modeling gigs at Sports Illustrated. If she wants it bad enough, they'll surely give it to her. What do you mean, "Why"??

 

[tj0p00tert00t]

We already know how twisted her view of reality is from her "book." She couldn't believe her coworkers weren't delighted by her office antics - putting googly eyes on plants, bringing her dog in to shit everywhere, putting her bare feet all over everything and standing on conference room tables. They were just party poopers! She didn't understand how her personality and enthusiasm didn't just earn her a spot on the cheerleading team. She lambasted the poor popular girl who didn't know how to react when Anna trauma dumped all over her and begged to be her friend.

This story is just another fascinating glimpse into her mind. She truly believes this is how the world is supposed to work and continues to be flabbergasted when everything falls apart.

 

[thejackal2]

She had a post go semi viral on threads. I guess if you put enough out there eventually some shit will be picked up.


Thanks for confirming the Taylor Swift trip @GenociderSyo. I figured based on her posts that the god kid trip would be to see Swift in Vancouver. Such basic bitch shit. Is the kid even old enough to really want to go to a concert? Should have taken the kid to Disney but that was Anna's 40 year old princess trip.

 

[Jizzrag]

The protagonist in her story despite being described as a hardworking career woman, is incredibly passive in all the events of the story and doesn’t have to make any serious decisions, everyone is accommodating to her wants.

No hard choices?! After traveling to the Christmas market and meeting Lukas, the rugged, animal loving guy of her dreams, she starts a new blog documenting her farm adventure. Her content goes viral, and suddenly she gets an offer from a major TV network. Oh no! What will Anna Ella choose? Her dream man or her career dream?!
Luckily, it all works out and Anna Ella gets both.

Seriously though, Anna has to be one of the least imaginative people on the planet. Remember Monster Love? Anna played 3 characters, all different versions of herself.
There was the Frankenstein monster, a complete glutton only interested in eating.
There was the ailien, an "online community builder", spoiled, rich with daddys money, only interested in shopping.
Then there was the werewolf, a "social media strategist", pretending to be on a (vegan) diet.

And who can forget that Christmas short film she made? Anna played an influencer whose life revolved around faking happiness for the 'gram.
I have a personal theory about this, I think she asked Jon (who was with her at the time) to play her romantic lead, and he declined. And that's why the films' happy ending was Anna eating cookies alone.

 

[Clotso Coof]

Anna's next trip is to see Taylor Swift with scalped (they had been sold out for ages) tickets on December 8th in Vancouver, Canada.

She's better make sure she didn't buy the scalped tickets from that Canadian scammer who just ripped off dozens of people. He got this one group for 22,000 bucks. There's an A & N thread: Ottawa family heartbroken after being scammed out of more than $22K on fake Taylor Swift tickets

 

[OttoWest]

Thanks for confirming the Taylor Swift trip @GenociderSyo. I figured based on her posts that the god kid trip would be to see Swift in Vancouver. Such basic bitch shit. Is the kid even old enough to really want to go to a concert? Should have taken the kid to Disney but that was Anna's 40 year old princess trip.

PL I took Otto Jr to one of the Eras shows.

Judging by the audience, you had girls as young as 5 or 6 attending. Tracey’s daughter is about 10, so definitely in the Swiftie demo.

The Eras tour will be at BC Place stadium for three nights. This is a stadium with a retractable roof. It doesn’t look as tall as some US football stadiums, but it’s still going to be a climb. Now here’s the fun part, check out the seat and aisle size:


Unless Anna got club (private) seating, she is NOT going to be comfortable and it is a looong show. With opening acts it’s a good 4+ hours of standing and dancing. I can’t imagine Anna enduring it.

 

[thejackal2]

PL I took Otto Jr to one of the Eras shows.

Judging by the audience, you had girls as young as 5 or 6 attending. Tracey’s daughter is about 10, so definitely in the Swiftie demo.

The Eras tour will be at BC Place stadium for three nights. This is a stadium with a retractable roof. It doesn’t look as tall as some US football stadiums, but it’s still going to be a climb. Now here’s the fun part, check out the seat and aisle size:
View attachment 6666566View attachment 6666570
View attachment 6666568
Unless Anna got club (private) seating, she is NOT going to be comfortable and it is a looong show. With opening acts it’s a good 4+ hours of standing and dancing. I can’t imagine Anna enduring it.

There isn't a chance in hell she didn't get disabled or VIP seating. She had to nope out of the event she was supposed to go to in NYC just a few months ago. She won't let that happen again. Nonetheless this trip will provide us great entertainment and I'm ready for it.