Culture Are Tradwives Luring Women To The Right?

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Are Tradwives Luring Women To The Right?​

On Oct. 30, days before the 2024 presidential election, Hannah Belle Freas (@springhillhomestead) posted a well-lit photo of small children making cookies in a cozy, cottage-core kitchen overlooking open, green fields. “I want to live quietly and be content going against the current,” Freas wrote in the caption. “This world is changing quickly and I don’t care to keep up, other than to educate myself and confidently say ‘no.’ I don’t want to conform. Here’s how I choose to live. By the Word. It’s okay to work hard to create a life that’s different than what they want you to live.”

As is the case with many “apolitical” women online, Freas is adept at presenting a statement as though it can exist independently of modern context, but it’s not a stretch to read Freas’ “no” as a “no” to progressivism, a “no” to balancing a career with the “second shift” of domestic work — and, by association, perhaps a “no” to the ideals espoused by Vice President Kamala Harris and the Democratic Party.

While the majority of Gen Z women voted for Harris and embrace progressive politics overall, early polling numbers show that 40% of women aged 18 to 29 voted for Trump, compared to 33% in 2020. In a presidential race dominated by concerns over women’s increasingly threatened rights, this uptick in young women’s support of an administration that will likely do everything it can to further restrict abortion access was puzzling. But if you knew where to look, you could have seen it coming.

After decades of feminists advocating for women’s right to choose (in the context of abortion, but also more broadly, in life and career decisions), many young women are devoting themselves to family and domesticity and embracing traditional gender roles in lieu of the possibilities offered to them by girlboss feminism — sidestepping the systemic challenges of working motherhood.

These women — almost exclusively white— call themselves many things. Warrior mamas. Wild and free. Homesteaders. Christians. Mormons. And many progressives, who have spent the last few years ogling the perfectly golden sourdough loaves and seemingly blissful dissociations from an increasingly chaotic world, call them tradwives. I reached out to all the women cited in this piece, but none of them responded to my interview requests.

“Young women find themselves in the same job market offering low-paid, exploitative jobs for dwindling prospects,”Annie Kelly, who researches antifeminism, conspiracy theories, and the far right, tells me via email. “They are often subject to the same forces of loneliness and alienation that come alongside not having much money or free time, and living in a world where more and more of our daily social interactions take place online.” Kelly notes that while much has been said about the “lost boys” of Gen Z and their support of Trump, young women can also be convinced they’re seeing “their rightful future stolen from them by the progressive hegemonic order.”

Jess Rauchberg, Ph.D, assistant professor of communication technologies at Seton Hall University, says that Gen Z has “very different ideas about work, family values, and their safety and security.” In comparison to millennials, who grew up in the shadow of the 2008 recession and often prioritize devotion to career as the only way to escape student debt and attain security, Rauchberg posits that Gen Z women are looking at that burnt-out generation and seeking another way to live. When tradwives step into this ideological vacuum and present a soft-lit image of mid-century harmony, it’s a very easy fantasy for young people to swallow — despite the fact that, whether you’re trad or not, the labor of mothering is hard, constant, and demanding; the labor of domesticity is ongoing, messy, and rarely aesthetically pleasing.

There are variations on the tradwife theme, which also — implicitly or explicitly — disavow feminism. There’s the stay-at-home girlfriend, who, by placing her financial well-being entirely in a man’s hand, is able to retreat from the hustle and devote her energy to ensuring her body and domestic space remain beautiful and pristine. There’s the trad cath (as in “Catholic”), who adopts an opulent aesthetic of lace, veils, and incense smoke, alongside a “radical” rejection of progressive ideals in favor of marriage and children. And there’s #softgirl culture, which celebrates calming, candlelit Pilates sessions, a strict devotion to self-care and -betterment, and usually requires someone else able to pay for one’s life of leisure. The prototypical “soft girl” can be found on the digital pages of Evie magazine, a MAGA gal’s version of Cosmo backed by right-wing libertarian Peter Thiel.

Gen Z is also on the whole more likely to be more gender fluid, more open to alternative lifestyles, and more queer than previous generations, so to live a life in service to a heteronormative nuclear family can be understood as an active countercultural choice — made in defiance of the mysterious, powerful “they” our cookie-baking mom, Hannah Belle Freas, refers to when she says “create a life that’s different than what they want you to live.”

Gen Z came of age in a time in which politics became memefied along with everything else, Mariel Cooksey, executive director of the Canadian Institute for Far-Right Studies, writes in an email. The alt-right has effectively shifted the Overton window on what’s appropriate to voice in public discourse and what isn’t. The result, Cooksey says, “is a generation of kids who grew up online who see even the most egregious political opinions as jokes.” Bernadine (@bernadinebluntly on IG), for example, memeifies the incel motto “your body, my choice,” overlaying the text “my body, his choice 💍😘” onto a photo of her and her husband kissing. The shock of the original comment is defanged by ironic humor, which functions as a flippant “f*ck you” to pearl-clutching feminists.

Not unlike Senator J.D. Vance, many of these influencers disseminate the pronatalist worldview that motherhood is a woman’s noble destiny, and that much of millennial women’s current life dissatisfactions can be chalked up to the fact that they weren’t encouraged to pursue their maternal destinies with enough commitment and joy.

Contemporary life is full of doubt, compromise, and, often, the choice between lesser evils, but in the trad universe, the rules are soothingly black and white. Women are women and men are men, and by playing into their gendered strengths, nirvana can be easily and joyfully achieved. Trad ideology isn’t worried about having it all or balancing child care with career because trad ideology promises that everyone who follows the rules will win at the game of life. When presented with the choice of devoting oneself entirely to career at the expense of family, or working and parenting in a society that makes it difficult to manage both, some young women see becoming a stay-at-home mom as the easier, better option.

Consider young trad influencers like Aria Lewis (@mrsarialewis), who takes the time to deliberately explain why she chose a trad life and what she’d do if, for example, the bottom fell out of her utopia. If her husband died, for example, she would move in with family, lean on them for support with child care, and look to her church to help with meals and financial assistance if needed. She’d employ her marketable skills (which she has worked hard to hone) and find a job within her community. Lewis doesn’t lack the desire or skill set to succeed in the marketplace. What she is doing is providing a clearer blueprint for living than, for example, many Democratic party leaders, who seem wary to embrace a more full-throated version of progressivism, complete with child care subsidies, comprehensive maternal health care, and federal paid family leave.

Many assumed that protecting abortion access would keep women voting Democrat, but apparently, it’s not as salient an issue as some thought. For example, Bailey (@bmcpher), a TikToker who describes herself as a “Jesus lover. Homemaker. Certified yapper” in her bio, explained in a Nov. 2 post that she was voting for Trump to protect her daughter’s rights: for free speech, national security, financial stability, the right to homeschool, and gun ownership, for medical autonomy in the vein of RFK Jr., and religious freedom. Bailey argues that her daughter’s right to make choices (about her body and otherwise) is about so much more than “the want to end the lives of babies in the womb.”

For me, the questions that follow tumble forth in rapid succession: What if someday you want to make a different choice? What if someday your life depends on making a different choice? Would you, only then, be convinced to vote differently? I think of Audre Lorde’s famous words: “I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” A choice is not a true choice if there is only one way to choose or if it serves only one type of person.

Lewis tells women it’s OK if their “big dream” isn’t a “huge salary, a Porsche, or fame … it can be this simple life.” And she’s right. And if a woman’s dream isn’t bound up in home-cooked meals, maternal love, and livestock care, that’s OK too. The problem is that a vote for Trump and Vance wasn’t necessarily a vote to preserve that choice — and it may have been a vote to foreclose it.
 
You know, sometimes it’s nice to get the kids in the kitchen and all bake some cookies. We will be doing it tomorrow.
Are many instagrammers larping? Yes. So are almost all accounts that show ‘stuff to do.’ Fitness, craft, outdoors, most of them are trying to present an aspirational version of something most of us do occasionally. Yet I’m not seeing any screeching about gardening accounts wanting us to live in an allotment shed 24/7 (although gardening is right wing these days isn’t? Darn…) you see these accounts and they’re marketing something aspirational, I think most women see that, they will assess the cookie recipe and maybe try it but they’re not going to pack the job in and go full housewife because they can’t, it’s too expensive. But they will feel a little pang of ‘I wish I could be at home with the kids more’ and that’s what seems to get peoples knickers in a twist.

The panic over trad wife type accounts is fascinating. It’s almost as though they don’t want a critical mass of women at home, and they know that people are herd animals who will follow good marketing (marketing they created.)

I am sure they are larpers, but the panic is partly coporpate. Doubling the workforce let them drive down wages. Removing said workforce would mean they would need to pay more to men, or rather invite another few million Indians.
 
50 years after 2nd wave feminism, women are discovering that "liberation" sucks and is unfulfilling. Unlike a husband and children, the company does not care if you live or die (despite what HR tells you).

Nobody ever said on their deathbed, "I wish I had spent more time at the office".
If I had to be miserable, I'd rather be miserable on my own steam than under the thumb of some sub-par idiot who wasn't capable and was mad about it.

Can we finally start convincing intelligent, hardworking, and moral people that raising 4 kids to be the same is more important and contributes more to our society than climbing whatever corporate ladder and watching Netflix while drunk.
How about - both choices can be good, and in fact, there are shades of grey between the black and white extremes?

having kids and wanting a family is treated like you’re subnormal in some way and wanting a traditional family is treated like some subversive terrible extreme.
The only thing that's bad is insisting that things must be look a certain way to be positive, valid, and valuable.

There surely can be room for women who want a career and women who want a family?
A lot seems to be guilt over choices and wanting people to take the same path they did in order to validate their choice. If someone else is happy having five kids and being at home and you’re unhappy at work it makes people think their choices are being dissed and that seems to make people mad.
[...]
This past week Mr. O and I both had things thrown at us at work and wr needed to juggle things around to make sure we could retrieve all kids from school and do the work. The response to me was grumbling about why I don’t have a nanny, and the response to him was glowing what a great dad he is to be so involved. You really can’t win
This is the truth.

In my current place of work (a very conservative industry and company), I do see this changing now, but came about only bc of the dreaded hr/DEI coerced speak. In prior places, a woman with children who ever mentioned them was written off. Kudos were reserved for the woman (literally, and I mean literally) sending work emails from the labor bed.

I doubt half of the people who say t these things are going to commit to being SAHM babymaking machines.
Well, if you listen to red/black-pilled men it's utterly impossible for them to pay for a futon for themselves, much less be able to support a whole family.

It's perverse:
  • "women should be in the bedroom and kitchen"; and
  • "I can't possibly be expected to support a woman in the bedroom and kitchen, and it's so unfair and lazy women don't want to pull their weight"; and
  • "women are too stupid to pull their weight and it's pointless and unfeminine of them to try"; and
  • "the only places women succeed are as diversity hires and in made-up disciplines and roles"; and
  • "women who succeed on merit in "men's spaces" are taking our jobs and also shouldn't have children."
Make it make sense (you can't).
 
Always great to see the seethe from the usual suspects about women all wanting to eat hot chip, lie, and girlboss because we're all slutty sluts that refuse to settle down or something.

Plenty of women I know (myself included) would be happy to spend time at home and just raise kids. Maybe take up volunteer/community type stuff when the kids go into school and then when they're in high school have a gradual return to work or study.
I've always wanted to be a mother and work fucking sucks - I'd much rather be doing things at home like making jam instead of fixing Excel spreadsheets and sitting in meetings listening to mongoloids.

So show me on the fucking chart where I can afford it on one salary and I'll do it:
Fucked.jpg
Look at the minimum income.
I'm already more than halfway there for Canberra and Melbourne on my salary alone.
But I rent, so that 20% down payment is fucking impossible to save for.
Then I can't stay at home, because then my wage disappears!

You're marrying up pretty high to get a dude on one of those incomes.
Oh but being picky like that is also women's fault!
Women are such golddiggers! What's wrong with the normal dude who just works an average job, you evil bitch?

Most people can't move away from those cities and have a decent income.
If you have elderly parents who require regular medical treatment, or siblings that rely on you to lighten their burden (so most people with decent families) then you're fucked.
You are stuck in these cities.

How the fuck you expect women to raise kids when this is what shit costs?
Rent is also fucked and incredibly stressful because you can end up having to move every 12 months.
So enjoy that relationship stress!

Instead of putting the blame where it belongs (bankers, capitalists, landlords), women get blamed.
No wonder the birth rate is dropping.
 
I don't know about "luring to the right" but the aesthetic cottagecore mommy-vloggers who make SAHM life look easy, cozy and appealing definitely do more to make women want marriage and children than the faggot whiny incel moids complaining that "all modern women are whores REEEE! Settle for my unwashed ass or I take your rights away!!!". They are called influencers for a reason. A lot more women are going to get baby fever looking at mom playing with her cute perfect toddler with blonde curls on social media than by being told by some chudcel that she is a dried up egg carton for not reproducing at 16.

But men will never understand that they actually have to make the kind of life they want women to live look appealing to women and make women feel like it's a safe option for them to chose. Instead they just spout misogyny and empty threats so the birthrates are gonna keep plummeting. Not like most moids could afford a SAHM tradwife anyway.
 
True, it should be something that they want.

Having someone in a position of heavy responsibility for something they didn't want is only a way to breed resentment.

Hopefully the men calling for it though understand that it's two sides to same coin. If you want a traditional woman, you need to be a traditional man. Hardworking, devoted and willing to lay down his life for his family if needed.

Only one side side should not be sacrificing, it's a mutual exchange.
does getting butt stuff on demand and chicken nuggets for breakfast count as traditional masculinity? (Asking for a friend)
 
No, it's because some of us have critical thinking and don't cave into social pressure or the hoard. Nor do we need to fill the hole in our lives with keyboard activism.

If influencers are making your life choices for you, you're retarded regardless of your politics.
 
Always great to see the seethe from the usual suspects about women all wanting to eat hot chip, lie, and girlboss because we're all slutty sluts that refuse to settle down or something.

Plenty of women I know (myself included) would be happy to spend time at home and just raise kids. Maybe take up volunteer/community type stuff when the kids go into school and then when they're in high school have a gradual return to work or study.
I've always wanted to be a mother and work fucking sucks - I'd much rather be doing things at home like making jam instead of fixing Excel spreadsheets and sitting in meetings listening to mongoloids.

So show me on the fucking chart where I can afford it on one salary and I'll do it:
View attachment 6674597
Look at the minimum income.
I'm already more than halfway there for Canberra and Melbourne on my salary alone.
But I rent, so that 20% down payment is fucking impossible to save for.
Then I can't stay at home, because then my wage disappears!

You're marrying up pretty high to get a dude on one of those incomes.
Oh but being picky like that is also women's fault!
Women are such golddiggers! What's wrong with the normal dude who just works an average job, you evil bitch?

Most people can't move away from those cities and have a decent income.
If you have elderly parents who require regular medical treatment, or siblings that rely on you to lighten their burden (so most people with decent families) then you're fucked.
You are stuck in these cities.

How the fuck you expect women to raise kids when this is what shit costs?
Rent is also fucked and incredibly stressful because you can end up having to move every 12 months.
So enjoy that relationship stress!

Instead of putting the blame where it belongs (bankers, capitalists, landlords), women get blamed.
No wonder the birth rate is dropping.
Many working moms would rather stay home with their kids but can't afford to. But bringing this up enrages moids because it puts some of the blame on them for being too broke to afford a woman who stays at home. Saying that all women simply don't want this because they are "whores obsessed with abortion" or whatever is much easier because it absolves men of all responsibility.
 
The SAHM is the ultimate luxury belief.

You can't have one unless you can afford her, and much like every other social media trend over the last 15 years for conspicuous staged consumption, the overwhelming majority of men cannot afford a wife who drops out of the labour market permanently in her early twenties. They just don't earn enough to afford her, let alone provide for her in the manner that she requires.

Those who can are not fucking around on social media anyway.
 
The amount of seethe from femcels in this thread over "muh expenses, and muh moids". Lmao

Women who want to be SAHM's will be. A lot of women could be SAHM's if they wanted to, it isn't financial.
How is it not financial?
Household requires a bare minimum amount of money to function, they don’t take sourdough starters for the power bill.

If the man doesn’t make enough money to support a household on one income, there need to be 2 incomes, therefore no SAHM.
 
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Suprising in a society with open and free birth control where women arent systematically raped (despite lying faggots saying otherwise) they wouldnt have many concerns regarding abortion.
 
Always great to see the seethe from the usual suspects about women all wanting to eat hot chip, lie, and girlboss because we're all slutty sluts that refuse to settle down or something.

Plenty of women I know (myself included) would be happy to spend time at home and just raise kids. Maybe take up volunteer/community type stuff when the kids go into school and then when they're in high school have a gradual return to work or study.
I've always wanted to be a mother and work fucking sucks - I'd much rather be doing things at home like making jam instead of fixing Excel spreadsheets and sitting in meetings listening to mongoloids.

So show me on the fucking chart where I can afford it on one salary and I'll do it:
View attachment 6674597
Look at the minimum income.
I'm already more than halfway there for Canberra and Melbourne on my salary alone.
But I rent, so that 20% down payment is fucking impossible to save for.
Then I can't stay at home, because then my wage disappears!

You're marrying up pretty high to get a dude on one of those incomes.
Oh but being picky like that is also women's fault!
Women are such golddiggers! What's wrong with the normal dude who just works an average job, you evil bitch?

Most people can't move away from those cities and have a decent income.
If you have elderly parents who require regular medical treatment, or siblings that rely on you to lighten their burden (so most people with decent families) then you're fucked.
You are stuck in these cities.

How the fuck you expect women to raise kids when this is what shit costs?
Rent is also fucked and incredibly stressful because you can end up having to move every 12 months.
So enjoy that relationship stress!

Instead of putting the blame where it belongs (bankers, capitalists, landlords), women get blamed.
No wonder the birth rate is dropping.
Personally I blame Democracy. The Demos, rule of the many, allows for the individual to be atomized into a collective whole. Your personal suffering is immaterial when weighed against the collective good. And since you can just worry about what is most immediately beneficial to you, you vote along short term pandering. Monocracy, rule of the One on the other hand doesn't have this limitation. Of course it has other trade offs. Such as what happens if the Monarch is a retard. So I suppose it's a question of what you are willing to give up in any given system

The big problem in the Western Democracies right now is that the Demos has been atomized by the Aristocracy to vote against each other but not the ruling elites.

I don't think there is a gender war. It's all bullshit psychological warfare perpetuated on the people by the leadership class to create wedge issues.

Which is what makes the 2024 US election so much fun. The Democracy voted for the man that media and government has spent the better part of a decade shrieking was a Monarch in Democratic clothing.
 
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How is it not financial?
Household requires a bare minimum amount of money to function, they don’t take sourdough starters for the power bill.

If the man doesn’t make enough money to support a household on one income, there need to be 2 incomes, therefore no SAHM.
The average duel income in the US in 2024 is somewhere between 75k and 130k. Dividing that in half is 37.5k and 65k. That assumes husband and wife make the same, which is rarely the case. The man typically earns more than the woman. Losing her benefits is a loss, but making up for that is less money spent on gas, less on childcare, lower/reduced need to eat out, etc. Its not something a solidly working class family, especially thinks to Biden-nomics, could do, but it is something middle class, and upper middle class families could do.
 
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