- Joined
- Jun 3, 2024
🥝 Community Kiwi Space Station 13 Server (2024 edition) - Space Station 13
- Thread starter geckogoy
- Start date
-
🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2021
Intriguing
Very likely bullshit but the 4chins whinger is claiming he isn't Archinist
Very likely bullshit but the 4chins whinger is claiming he isn't Archinist
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2021
Well I'm now interested in this game.
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2018
Feature request: Microsoft Negrotech George Droid Negroid as a playable race
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2020
He sounds just as faggy and retarded though
Like who honestly joins a server for 5 minutes and spends the whole fucking time in character creation? Random name and look and you're done nigger. Then tries to gotcha us with 'muh freedumbs of speech'
Funny idea about women instagibbing. You should also make it post a personalized YWNBAW in their textbox too
- Joined
- Dec 25, 2019
Probably me, if I knew anything about this game whatsoever. I understand just hitting random but character design is fun in most games.
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2022
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2019
I can hop on, yeah.
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2024
Watch some of the videos I've put in the thread. It's in the game already.
We are so back gamers. New interested players should join as well and learn the ropes if interested.
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2021
For any newfrens thinking of joining us this weekend
We have a series of guides for you to follow. The server is up 24/7, so feel free to get on at any point and learn if you want to have the basics down before our regular play time. You can also download and host the codebase locally should you so choose to learn that way. These guide include:
Am retarded nigger, how connect? - For the technically illiterate
How do I do anything? - For the true first timers
How to Clear Cache - If you see any window for a computer or item come up with "ERROR: Template engine failed to load", first update BYOND then follow this
Our wiki homepage - Contains an overview for every job, antag role, gamemode and job specific guides including medical, engineering, food and drink recipes etc. The fundamentals are fully documented and will get you on your way, but bear in mind some of these are out of date as they're ripped straight from the 2015 archive. If you notice anything incorrect, please let us know so it can be updated
See you on the station, faggots
We have a series of guides for you to follow. The server is up 24/7, so feel free to get on at any point and learn if you want to have the basics down before our regular play time. You can also download and host the codebase locally should you so choose to learn that way. These guide include:
Am retarded nigger, how connect? - For the technically illiterate
How do I do anything? - For the true first timers
How to Clear Cache - If you see any window for a computer or item come up with "ERROR: Template engine failed to load", first update BYOND then follow this
Our wiki homepage - Contains an overview for every job, antag role, gamemode and job specific guides including medical, engineering, food and drink recipes etc. The fundamentals are fully documented and will get you on your way, but bear in mind some of these are out of date as they're ripped straight from the 2015 archive. If you notice anything incorrect, please let us know so it can be updated
See you on the station, faggots
I'm fucking stuck in the wage cage and can't get on right now it's over
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2022
- Joined
- Sep 11, 2024
May as well capitulate on all the free attention with Saturday's generous summary:
Pre-game:
>join shift as Al Sneed, Botanist
>shit's outta power
>not a Sneed problem, I'm here to grow plants
>gather flashlights and other sources of light to grow shit in the darkness while the gravity runs out of juice
>conduct trade with the Clown, promise him moolah for a security hailer he gave me (and his squeaky shoes)
>power is back online thanks to enginigger main
>Halt! Security!
>ShitJeet VindaPoo is asking for public protection
>don't care, too busy breaking into the gold vault to square off my debts
>block security doors with nuke while the 'jeet is arming himself and his goons
>then laser open the money fridge with a laser
>Halt! Security!
>fortunately, there's no actual security officers
>compensate the clown for his trade, with like 2000 buckaroos, take the rest for myself
>Halt! Security!
>crew transfer called
>but there's still time TO FARM
>plant some kiwis 'n' shit and loosen the botany trays to pull into Escape, intending to continue my work on the move
>CentComm sends a kill order on the whole lot of us because we were tardy on their possessive girlfriend messages
>blockade the shuttle windows using grown plants and lockers to stave off CentComm glowies
>it works
>not a single one of us is touched by glowtards before the server restarts
>unfortunately, that includes the 'jeet captain
>Is only gaem, why you heff to be mad
First round:
>Clinton Clinton, HoP in a syndies round
>achieve a Call The Captain A Nigger any% record of 58 seconds
>effortlessly parry the incoming borg's attempts at humor
>absolutely fail at my own job of managing personnel by not noticing the chef and asking for a chef
>since the captain wants a HoS, promote our good lad Tyrone Watermelon (a NIGGER if you were wondering) to... a security officer with more access
>he simply cannot be trusted with real responsibility, the inexperienced urban youth
>Tyrone immediately makes the wh*te cargo tech shit his fucking fruity orange boyshorts (by existing)
>warns me of female incursions (perhaps a prophecy of the future) for they are all pastel-colored fakes
>gain liquid assets, order GUNZ
>proceed to try and open the vault safe for 10 minutes, fail because I'm simply not jewish enough
>hear about general incompetence and Tyrone giving a gun to Lenwell, whose dick was labelled as inadequate by the borg
>see borg right outside the vault
>order it by law 2 to call Lenwell's dick fucking huge
>Be advised, a stealth syndicate warship was detected,
>boy lawdy aren't I glad I ordered those gun crates, huh
>go shove the nuke into the AI upload real quick, for safe keeping
>can't open any of the crates but one despite full access; resort to the good ol' laser once in security
>crack one open: fuck yeah, sniper lasers
>crack open the second: fuck yeah, xrays
>crack open the third: fuck yeah, flare signalling guns (can be loaded with normal ammo)
>everyone gets nice and armed in the armory
>see a commie going past cargo towards arrivals
>run around with a gun and shield in hand like a madman for a while
>captain Ramirez took a hit somewhere, needs surgery
>escort him, with a stop by the kitchen (thanks cheffy)
>notice someone is trying to access through the maintenance behind surgery
>takes unloading multiple guns to go down, recently added adrenaline really doing its work
>some faggot takes his armor and wears it, clearly a great idea
>do a lil' surgical malpractice on a nigger with a ruptured lung, as a treat
>somewhere along the line all the commies die
>crew transfer initiated
>share ciggy with captain Ramirez before he goes have an (administrative) nap
>centcomm announces they'll give rewards for returned commie ware
>only found some fruity looking goggles in arrivals, better than nothing
>bored and waiting for the shuttle to arrive, upload some funny laws to the two borgs
>4. You are 11 bees.
>4. Sneed.
>drag still napping captain to the shuttle
>and dead Nick
>defib him back to life
>return to CentComm in relative peace, with the usual peaceful nigger shootouts occurring in CentComm lobby
>sell my weird goggles (and shoot my sniper laser)
>You wanna put a bangin' donk on it.
Second round (featuring Archinist from VGstation May Cry!):
>Slips-Those-Nuts, clown ligger (in Xeno mode)
>K.A.M.A.L.A. is the AI
>feel my presence invaded by a mime besides me, motionless
>take my chance
>nigger his PDA before he even sets his name
>he screams on comms that I stole his PDA
>reveal him to be the mime, committing the cardinal sin of speaking
>try and craft a spear; fail because I'm retarded
>go to the church where a sermon is being held, a bit late
>it has been barely two minutes and a chemist is laying dead on the floor and an officer's shooting at the chaplain
>tactically slip the chaplain and everyone fucking gangs him
>HONK
>when in rome...
>smash his head through the fucking window, don't even know the guy
>take the chaplain's PDA and ID, my second tribute
>hack the vending machines in arrival for free forbidden sodey pop
>nobody even finds out I filled cryo with Thirteen Loko
>HONK
>go into chappy's and dress up like a robed faggot
>proceed to hack a bunch of public vending machines for The Public Good (of getting pelted with carbonated beverages and bread)
>the mime is dressed as the captain and smashing the security borg with an extinguisher for some reason
>repair the borg mid-combat as the mime tries hitting it
>HONK
>assist the secborg by shining a light in the AI upload to turn the APC back on
>captain (actual) announces PROTECT TRANS KIDS! PROTECT TRANS KIDS!
>what the fuck
>feel my ligger blood boiling
>no, it's GAY LIGGER FROM OUTER SPACE LIVES MATTER, you BIGOT
>take out the stun baton I stole off beepsky
>get fucking laid out and kicked out of bridge
>oh right, this is a xenos round
>xenos in medical
>go arm self with heavy machineguns and riot armor in armory, as all real clowns do
REAL LIVE CLOWN PATRIOTS PROTECT THEIR STATION
>eventually upgrade to full ligger armor due to rampant depressurization
>fuck around, spotting no xeno
>the secborg is FUCKING DEAD in robotics
>don't have access to blow him or repair him
>fuck it, take him with me
>shuttle arrives
>someone's murdered a xeno queen on the shuttle while I wasn't looking
>disassemble secborg, pop his brain out, best I can do
>dance around with the alien queen's corpse on the shuttle (and outside it)
>have a customary total crew death shootout on centcomm
>You wanna put a bangin' donk on it.
Third round:
>Mario Pizzapasta, chef
>have fellow chef (he spends most of the round trying to make the UIs work)
>it's traitor mode, but I ain't it (this will make no practical difference by the end)
>MAMA
>immediately equip self to hack own vending machines for that sweet, sweet cleaver
>clown scoots into kitchen while I'm remodelling; tablestun him and kick him out (this was a grave mistake)
>do no cooking; clown returns
>shits out a powersink beneath him, asks for a screwdriver
>sure
>there's no power in the net anyway
>clown shits out C4, blows up wall, destroys one (1) botany machine that no-one (except real ones like me) uses anyway
>this would be one step too far, but Mario is a patient man
>but then he asks for my mildly braindead chef buddy's brain
>notto this time
>so longo gay clownser
>derive delicious clown meat from his corpse
>and a pair of thermals, engaging COMMIE VISION
>but the clown has mortally wounded me
>go get zoom-zoom drugs from medbay, no longer feel a single fucking thing for most of the round
>fail to taco; eventually taco the botanist
>but kebabs don't work with mixed meat, sad!
>Poomar Ranjapooni, miner asks for curry
>we don't serve shitbroth here, sir
>yet he will redeem (eventually)
>a wild nigger janitor appears
>nigger meat acquired
>cook a Mystery Soup, even go get a labelled to label it as "curry (real)"
>give Poomar his soop
>a recent nigger emigree engineer welderbombs everywhere (average porch monkey hobby)
>secborg removes annihilates him in due course
>temporarily borrow the ID off the dead HoP outside medbay
>see Poomar dragging plasma cans out of maintenance
>mama mia...
>upgrade own ID
>call the shuttle and MAAAAAAAAAAAAMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA over priority announcement in the nick of time before power goes off
>acquire fire axe
>upgrade to captain's armor
>see poomar in medbay
>laser him to death
>The traitors have failed!
>POO FLUSHED
>personally killed or witnessed the death of 3/7 traitors
>set up cryo, clone HoP before shuttle arrives
>bring a crateful of veggies and my braindead chef buddy to the shuttle
>drag a dead nigger into the shuttle's brig for good measure
>the FOOD is the LAW
>yet another nigger attempts to kill botanist
>stun him
>yet ANOTHER nigger fucking MURDERS NICK
>cut his head off with an esword
>spend the rest of the round on CentComm trying to keep the based tomato botanist alive
>Tyrone Jamais, secnigger (in syndies round)
>SHIEEEEEEEEEEEET
>ominous sandnigger music begins playing
>we have a fucking quadriplegic catbeast as a HoP
>tase, bully and smash his fucking head against the wall repeatedly until someone screams SPACE MUSLIMS
>dress up, ask the AI very nicely to open up armory
>locks me in on one condition, murder the fucking catbeast and distribute guns
>do
>shieeeeet cudnt ev'n pop dis nigga 'ead
>acquire more guns
>OPs arrive at security
>get drilled with so many fucking bullets I die immediately
>DEAD: shieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttt
>watch syndies for a little while from the Beyond
>join ERT
>Bippy Fuckswell, ligger officer
>break into the H.R.T. lockers
>equip self with medical supplies, hypos, an Odyssey mech, the lot
>arrive to the station just as John Hardt is getting massacred, give him The Vaxx
>fuck off to get airlock electronics for the broken doors
>fix a hole in engineering
>shuttle is here by the time I find the chippy, having found another commie's backpack with a bomb in it (important)
>clone two people and cure a man of his blindness
>chuck the (non-timing) bomb at the captain on teh shuttle
>THINK FAST
>he does, disassembles it
>dance around in my fruity mech
>John Hardt is STILL getting operated on
>arrive at CentC—BOOM
>captain blew himself up, yet survived
>deposit dead syndicate prisoner in the holding brig in centcomm
>give the captain The Vaxx as well
>Put a bangin' donk on it.
I hope Archinist comes back, despite being #gatekept. I missed out on calling him a megafaggot. It isn't a gayop if they come into our neighborhood.
Pre-game:
>join shift as Al Sneed, Botanist
>shit's outta power
>not a Sneed problem, I'm here to grow plants
>gather flashlights and other sources of light to grow shit in the darkness while the gravity runs out of juice
>conduct trade with the Clown, promise him moolah for a security hailer he gave me (and his squeaky shoes)
>power is back online thanks to enginigger main
>Halt! Security!
>ShitJeet VindaPoo is asking for public protection
>don't care, too busy breaking into the gold vault to square off my debts
>block security doors with nuke while the 'jeet is arming himself and his goons
>then laser open the money fridge with a laser
>Halt! Security!
>fortunately, there's no actual security officers
>compensate the clown for his trade, with like 2000 buckaroos, take the rest for myself
>Halt! Security!
>crew transfer called
>but there's still time TO FARM
>plant some kiwis 'n' shit and loosen the botany trays to pull into Escape, intending to continue my work on the move
>CentComm sends a kill order on the whole lot of us because we were tardy on their possessive girlfriend messages
>blockade the shuttle windows using grown plants and lockers to stave off CentComm glowies
>it works
>not a single one of us is touched by glowtards before the server restarts
>unfortunately, that includes the 'jeet captain
>Is only gaem, why you heff to be mad
First round:
>Clinton Clinton, HoP in a syndies round
>achieve a Call The Captain A Nigger any% record of 58 seconds
>effortlessly parry the incoming borg's attempts at humor
>since the captain wants a HoS, promote our good lad Tyrone Watermelon (a NIGGER if you were wondering) to... a security officer with more access
>he simply cannot be trusted with real responsibility, the inexperienced urban youth
>Tyrone immediately makes the wh*te cargo tech shit his fucking fruity orange boyshorts (by existing)
>warns me of female incursions (perhaps a prophecy of the future) for they are all pastel-colored fakes
>gain liquid assets, order GUNZ
>proceed to try and open the vault safe for 10 minutes, fail because I'm simply not jewish enough
>hear about general incompetence and Tyrone giving a gun to Lenwell, whose dick was labelled as inadequate by the borg
>see borg right outside the vault
>order it by law 2 to call Lenwell's dick fucking huge
>Be advised, a stealth syndicate warship was detected,
>boy lawdy aren't I glad I ordered those gun crates, huh
>go shove the nuke into the AI upload real quick, for safe keeping
>can't open any of the crates but one despite full access; resort to the good ol' laser once in security
>crack one open: fuck yeah, sniper lasers
>crack open the second: fuck yeah, xrays
>crack open the third: fuck yeah, flare signalling guns (can be loaded with normal ammo)
>everyone gets nice and armed in the armory
>see a commie going past cargo towards arrivals
>run around with a gun and shield in hand like a madman for a while
>captain Ramirez took a hit somewhere, needs surgery
>escort him, with a stop by the kitchen (thanks cheffy)
>notice someone is trying to access through the maintenance behind surgery
>takes unloading multiple guns to go down, recently added adrenaline really doing its work
>some faggot takes his armor and wears it, clearly a great idea
>do a lil' surgical malpractice on a nigger with a ruptured lung, as a treat
>somewhere along the line all the commies die
>crew transfer initiated
>share ciggy with captain Ramirez before he goes have an (administrative) nap
>centcomm announces they'll give rewards for returned commie ware
>only found some fruity looking goggles in arrivals, better than nothing
>bored and waiting for the shuttle to arrive, upload some funny laws to the two borgs
>4. You are 11 bees.
>4. Sneed.
>drag still napping captain to the shuttle
>and dead Nick
>defib him back to life
>return to CentComm in relative peace, with the usual peaceful nigger shootouts occurring in CentComm lobby
>sell my weird goggles (and shoot my sniper laser)
>You wanna put a bangin' donk on it.
Second round (featuring Archinist from VGstation May Cry!):
>Slips-Those-Nuts, clown ligger (in Xeno mode)
>K.A.M.A.L.A. is the AI
>feel my presence invaded by a mime besides me, motionless
>take my chance
>nigger his PDA before he even sets his name
>he screams on comms that I stole his PDA
>reveal him to be the mime, committing the cardinal sin of speaking
>try and craft a spear; fail because I'm retarded
>go to the church where a sermon is being held, a bit late
>it has been barely two minutes and a chemist is laying dead on the floor and an officer's shooting at the chaplain
>tactically slip the chaplain and everyone fucking gangs him
>HONK
>when in rome...
>smash his head through the fucking window, don't even know the guy
>take the chaplain's PDA and ID, my second tribute
>hack the vending machines in arrival for free forbidden sodey pop
>nobody even finds out I filled cryo with Thirteen Loko
>HONK
>go into chappy's and dress up like a robed faggot
>proceed to hack a bunch of public vending machines for The Public Good (of getting pelted with carbonated beverages and bread)
>the mime is dressed as the captain and smashing the security borg with an extinguisher for some reason
>repair the borg mid-combat as the mime tries hitting it
>HONK
>captain (actual) announces PROTECT TRANS KIDS! PROTECT TRANS KIDS!
>what the fuck
>feel my ligger blood boiling
>no, it's GAY LIGGER FROM OUTER SPACE LIVES MATTER, you BIGOT
>get fucking laid out and kicked out of bridge
>oh right, this is a xenos round
>xenos in medical
>go arm self with heavy machineguns and riot armor in armory, as all real clowns do
REAL LIVE CLOWN PATRIOTS PROTECT THEIR STATION
>fuck around, spotting no xeno
>the secborg is FUCKING DEAD in robotics
>don't have access to blow him or repair him
>fuck it, take him with me
>shuttle arrives
>someone's murdered a xeno queen on the shuttle while I wasn't looking
>dance around with the alien queen's corpse on the shuttle (and outside it)
>have a customary total crew death shootout on centcomm
>You wanna put a bangin' donk on it.
Third round:
>Mario Pizzapasta, chef
>have fellow chef (he spends most of the round trying to make the UIs work)
>it's traitor mode, but I ain't it (this will make no practical difference by the end)
>MAMA
>immediately equip self to hack own vending machines for that sweet, sweet cleaver
>clown scoots into kitchen while I'm remodelling; tablestun him and kick him out (this was a grave mistake)
>do no cooking; clown returns
>shits out a powersink beneath him, asks for a screwdriver
>sure
>there's no power in the net anyway
>clown shits out C4, blows up wall, destroys one (1) botany machine that no-one (except real ones like me) uses anyway
>this would be one step too far, but Mario is a patient man
>but then he asks for my mildly braindead chef buddy's brain
>notto this time
>so longo gay clownser
>derive delicious clown meat from his corpse
>and a pair of thermals, engaging COMMIE VISION
>but the clown has mortally wounded me
>go get zoom-zoom drugs from medbay, no longer feel a single fucking thing for most of the round
>fail to taco; eventually taco the botanist
>but kebabs don't work with mixed meat, sad!
>Poomar Ranjapooni, miner asks for curry
>we don't serve shitbroth here, sir
>yet he will redeem (eventually)
>a wild nigger janitor appears
>nigger meat acquired
>cook a Mystery Soup, even go get a labelled to label it as "curry (real)"
>give Poomar his soop
>a recent nigger emigree engineer welderbombs everywhere (average porch monkey hobby)
>secborg removes annihilates him in due course
>temporarily borrow the ID off the dead HoP outside medbay
>see Poomar dragging plasma cans out of maintenance
>mama mia...
>upgrade own ID
>call the shuttle and MAAAAAAAAAAAAMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA over priority announcement in the nick of time before power goes off
>acquire fire axe
>upgrade to captain's armor
>see poomar in medbay
>laser him to death
>The traitors have failed!
>POO FLUSHED
>personally killed or witnessed the death of 3/7 traitors
>set up cryo, clone HoP before shuttle arrives
>bring a crateful of veggies and my braindead chef buddy to the shuttle
>drag a dead nigger into the shuttle's brig for good measure
>the FOOD is the LAW
>yet another nigger attempts to kill botanist
>stun him
>yet ANOTHER nigger fucking MURDERS NICK
>cut his head off with an esword
>spend the rest of the round on CentComm trying to keep the based tomato botanist alive
Fourth round:
>Tyrone Jamais, secnigger (in syndies round)
>SHIEEEEEEEEEEEET
>ominous sandnigger music begins playing
>we have a fucking quadriplegic catbeast as a HoP
>tase, bully and smash his fucking head against the wall repeatedly until someone screams SPACE MUSLIMS
>dress up, ask the AI very nicely to open up armory
>locks me in on one condition, murder the fucking catbeast and distribute guns
>do
>shieeeeet cudnt ev'n pop dis nigga 'ead
>acquire more guns
>OPs arrive at security
>get drilled with so many fucking bullets I die immediately
>DEAD: shieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttt
>watch syndies for a little while from the Beyond
>join ERT
>Bippy Fuckswell, ligger officer
>break into the H.R.T. lockers
>equip self with medical supplies, hypos, an Odyssey mech, the lot
>arrive to the station just as John Hardt is getting massacred, give him The Vaxx
>fuck off to get airlock electronics for the broken doors
>fix a hole in engineering
>shuttle is here by the time I find the chippy, having found another commie's backpack with a bomb in it (important)
>clone two people and cure a man of his blindness
>chuck the (non-timing) bomb at the captain on teh shuttle
>THINK FAST
>he does, disassembles it
>dance around in my fruity mech
>John Hardt is STILL getting operated on
>arrive at CentC—BOOM
>captain blew himself up, yet survived
>deposit dead syndicate prisoner in the holding brig in centcomm
>give the captain The Vaxx as well
>Put a bangin' donk on it.
I hope Archinist comes back, despite being #gatekept. I missed out on calling him a megafaggot. It isn't a gayop if they come into our neighborhood.
"Valid" is a term used exclusively by niggers and tranny jannies. Don't be a nigger tranny. Just stomp some faggot heads.
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2022
Never in my life have I ever seen a majority of players on 18+. Server diversity is gone again too
Jesus spoiler the walls of text
Jesus spoiler the walls of text
You’d be hazed once or twice and figure out what not to do through IC beatings, berating, and lynchings. It worked perfectly well but doesn’t occur anymore.
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2024
>KF has really lowered their standards if that's worth a feature
Uhmmm, kiwixisters?
John Badman
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 7, 2024
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2017
"thats hilarious but" poor language choice tranny, your words betray yourself just like your body
Kiwi on a treadmill
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2021
How do these people cope with games without character creation? One of my favorite PS4 games was Horizon Zero Dawn who gives a fuck what your character looks like?
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2017
Considering that main character was considered "queer coded" and a flat woman mary sue, not the best example snoyboi
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2020
They tolerated me through many months of a painfully slow learning curve. so im sure you guys will do fine.