Dragon Age: The Veilguard - A woke disaster? Yep!

[Male Idiot]

There's a cottage industry of YouTubers who do nothing but historical food and they're both fascinating and delicious; perfect for a fantasy game, you would think. But then if you did think that, you'd be unfamiliar with the "Heroes' Feast" debacle of Current Year D&D from a few months ago, where there was a small uproar over an illustration in the latest Players' Handbook of Very Diverse Fantasy Characters noshing down on modern day tacos, sushi, hamburgers, Pirouette cookies, etc. etc.

One of the worst things about Veilguard is that it's only an outlier in how bad it is; not in how stupid its depiction of a fantasy world is.

Would dindus who use Hoes Feast get KFC, Waddymelon and purpal drank? Haitians get human meat!

 

[Prokhor Zakharov]

I recently watched another one of those videos clowning on Troonguard by comparing the writing to that of BG3. The first example is the coffee talk scene, for those who want to see just how bad it is.

This strongly reminded me that I absolutely must play BG3 again, with all the patches and the expanded content endorsed by Larian.

It will probably be many years before we see another one of this quality again.

 

[Divine right to rule]

Perturbed Pedro's review is out, he doesn't like it

For a super-woketard he doesn't even get the troon-lingo right.
He calls character calling Taash by female pronouns "deadnaming" when it should be "misgendering".

Honestly, that one isn't even hard to figure out, how the fuck could a pronoun be a "deadname".

Atleast he is not a shill, gotta give him props for that.

 

[Gravityqueen4life]

Did i mention how much i hate Dock Town? It takes forever for the area to load and you cant sprint Your way to your next objective out of fear of running outside the game beacuse the game texture has not loaded in yet.

 

[Divine right to rule]

Did i mention how much i hate Dock Town? It takes forever for the area to load and you cant sprint Your way to your next objective out of fear of running outside the game beacuse the game texture has not loaded in yet.

It also looks like ass. We have never seen Tevinter before, and that is what we get? No decadent Magister palaces, no magic everywhere to look different from the rest of thedas, no politicking. A fucking dock-town filled with shacks and a bland, racially diverse population of boring assholes.

Man, what a downgrade from Inquisition where Orlais was fleshed out so much better.

 

[Pumpkin Girl IRL]

The coffee talk reminds me of that terrible Flintlock: Siege of Dawn game. It's heavily based around colonial period warfare with the matchlock weapons, cannons and trenches, but your safe areas are just outright coffee shops. Like, no attempt at dressing it up, just straight up coffee and caffeine.

It's weird and really takes you out of the moment. Not a drop of booze or tea leaves, just everyone getting cups of coffee between assaults from the undead.

 

[Brap God]

so brave after everyone else already trashed it
truly

It's been years since I last watched a Furious Fernando video, but I doubt he intentionally jumped in on the pile after testing the waters. I remember he hated Inquisition when it came out, so this tracks.

 

[NPZCC]

I remember he hated Inquisition when it came out, so this tracks.

Lmao.

 

[Brap God]

Lmao.
View attachment 6695037

I retract my previous statement, must've confused it with another title or reviewer.

 

[Ishtar]

Well, darkspawn chronicles give us a nice alternative of how Alistair was pathetic.

I'd disagree here?

Alistair accomplishes a frankly amazing feat in Darkspawn chronicles.

He gets the templars and mages both, manages to convince Arl Howe to side with him, and conducts a fairly successful battle-its just you're playing a darkspawn with protagonist powers. The archdemon is on the verge of being slain when you reach him.

My read of Darkspawn Chronicles is when the HoF died-Alistair manned the fuck up, and became very hardcore. Able to do things the HoF actually can't do in game.

he loves duncan a little too much, you see
I find Loghain living and forced to work in Orlais while I bang his daughter way more amusing, at least as a noble.

On a somewhat related note, Cailan did nothing wrong and is more savvy than anyone in the game gave him credit for. The one mistake he made was underestimating just how much his father-in-law hated the French. Risk the entire fucking country getting raped and cannibalized just so they don't get it, holy shit. Loghain did everything wrong.

Cailan's biggest problem is he is basically a boy swept up in the romance of fighting alongside legendary heroes. Admittedly Wynne notes he has to have swaggering confidence to keep morale up, but he still sees the entire thing as basically playing out a role in a story. He's not a total idiot, but he's not acting with the appropriate caution.

 

[Michael Wade]

Joe was pretty funny and informative. he gave lip service to the troon shit (" it was always in dragon age just better written" suree) but shat on tosh repeatedly and the lack of logic as much as possible. Frankly I didn't realize just how Saturday cartoon shit the writing was until he showcased everyone repeating names. Also no blood is pretty shocking. Joe quite literally hated everyone in the game, even the player character.


It's a good showcase of everything wrong, although 3 outta 10 seems too charitable.

so brave after everyone else already trashed it
truly

Eh his reviews are not typically on time.

 

[TrainWreckWatcher]

I recently watched another one of those videos clowning on Troonguard by comparing the writing to that of BG3. The first example is the coffee talk scene, for those who want to see just how bad it is.

The veilguard dialogue feels like its written for teenagers with a reading disability at the lowest price.
Incredible the difference in the two.

 

[p1138]

Joe was pretty funny and informative. he gave lip service to the troon shit (" it was always in dragon age just better written" suree) but shat on tosh repeatedly and the lack of logic as much as possible. Frankly I didn't realize just how Saturday cartoon shit the writing was until he showcased everyone repeating names. Also no blood is pretty shocking. Joe quite literally hated everyone in the game, even the player character.


It's a good showcase of everything wrong, although 3 outta 10 seems too charitable.

3/10 is appropriate, the game technically works, isn't bricking computers, and isn't some atari 2600 graphics type of mess. It's obviously below sub-par, but it's technically a functioning game. You've got to rememebr game journos defaulting to 7/10 for everything is also retarded.

I actually watched the video, and it was actually kinda funny. It also exposed how performative he is regarding the gender bullshit since he came up with "deadnaming" instead of "misgendering" but at least managed to identify the massive failure by the idiot writers after trying to hammer it through people's heads the entire time. Clearly no one on the QA team was paying any attention when traash ends up dead I guess, because they were just waiting to be able to get the character back on screen to cheer or whatever.

This like many other reviews by non game journos points out(and showcases) the shitty spongey gameplay. Game journos seem to hate souls games, so is this shit some kind of appeasement for them? They get to dodge around for minutes at a time with super basic attack patterns, but no one who actually likes playing games, seems to enjoy this shit at all.

 

[Oliver Onions]

What the fuck is wrong with those stupid writers? WHERE'S OGHREN, DAMN IT!

Reminds me of the Thief 2014 reboot where instead of using the funny made-up curse words from the old games (or maybe they're historically accurate idk) they just swore like normal people.

Current Year writers are so MCU-poisoned they are absolutely incapable of original thought. I'm surprised Veilguard doesn't have a shwarma sidequest.

 

[strawberry15]

What? Being a drunkard isn't more possible?
What the fuck is wrong with those stupid writers? WHERE'S OGHREN, DAMN IT!

Not gonna play the 4th game but let me tell you,
Oghren is the best written companion, a diamond in the rough that this corpse of a studio ever created. He might even be the best companion in all west crpg ever. He is funny, stupid, and deeply depressed. He was so deep that even the dwarves who dig balrog cannot uncover him.

 

[Kane Lives]

I recently watched another one of those videos clowning on Troonguard by comparing the writing to that of BG3. The first example is the coffee talk scene, for those who want to see just how bad it is.

Maybe it's just me, but it feels like BG3 also had people who actually acted? Some of it is very theatre-school tier of overacting but like, they tried. Also BG3 had the benefit of not sounding like Americans. God, hearing American accents in my fantasy games is just jarring these days.

 

[God of Nothing]

Maybe it's just me, but it feels like BG3 also had people who actually acted? Some of it is very theatre-school tier of overacting but like, they tried. Also BG3 had the benefit of not sounding like Americans. God, hearing American accents in my fantasy games is just jarring these days.

for too long, fantasy has been plagued by the br*tish accent
I'm fine with it as long as there is variety. Origins having people from different kingdoms actually sound and speak differently was a fantastic touch you don't see these days.

 

[woduqu]

I was going to showcase the game's numbers on the 31st when it'd be the one month mark after being released, but they've changed drastically in the last couple days (maybe due to Black Friday sales?), so it's interesting to look at now. Veilguard is about to be out of the top 200 best sellers and it's already out of the top 100 most played. Lastly, there's a small discrepancy between SteamDB's figures and Steam itself, but it may be that it dips in the 60s very soon in terms of positive review percent.

 

[Brap God]

Maybe it's just me, but it feels like BG3 also had people who actually acted? Some of it is very theatre-school tier of overacting but like, they tried. Also BG3 had the benefit of not sounding like Americans. God, hearing American accents in my fantasy games is just jarring these days.

I haven't looked into who did VA work for Troonguard, but what can they do with that dogshit script? If it reads like a badly written sitcom, they might as well act it out like it's a badly written sitcom.

 

[Mola Ram]

I haven't looked into who did VA work for Troonguard, but what can they do with that dogshit script? If it reads like a badly written sitcom, they might as well act it out like it's a badly written sitcom.

Ali Hillis, who did acceptable-to-good work as Liara and pretty darn good work as Harding in Inquisition, seems like a decent VA ... and what exactly is she supposed to do with "I could ... kiss you ... I'm going ... to ... kiss you!"?