Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

He's a talentless hack.
He always has been. He didn't approach Lost, or Star Trek, or Star Wars by saying "I have a story I want to tell." He approached them as "I have a setting with no resolution I want to give you." That's why he loves his mystery box approach. There doesn't need to be a beginning, a middle, and end, and a resolution when he can just say "here's the mystery, you figure it all out." Where did Luke's lightsaber come from? Dunno. How did Palpatine manage to return? Dunno. How did Leia know about Rey in TFA? Dunno.
 
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He always has been. He didn't approach Lost, or Star Trek, or Star Wars by saying "I have a story I want to tell." He approached them as "I have a setting with no resolution I want to give you." That's why he loves his mystery box approach. There doesn't need to be a beginning, a middle, and end, and a resolution when he can just say "here's the mystery, you figure it all out." Where did Luke's lightsaber come from? Dunno. How did Palpatine manage to return? Dunno. How did Leia know about Rey in TFA? Dunno.

This completely ignores what actually went on.

With LOST, he's brought on to help develop an idea for a show. They plan out ideas for a bunch of seasons. He helps launch it. Then didn't even stick around for the first season. It was other writers that wrote it into corners it couldn't get out of and ignored.

He did this with Fringe and it worked out decent enough.

His first Trek film is a great time. The second one is decent if you separate out the fact the story shouldn't have been told.

There's plenty of intention in TFA and literally everything had the next film come along and go "NO." You've fallen too much into the "mystery box" thing and looking at hindsight at the whole trilogy than isolating out that TFA was the start of a trilogy which didn't intend the story to go where it went and that was all fucked up by some round headed fuck.

Don't get me wrong, the sequels suck, but we got a worse version than if JJ had made all three. Almost all the "mystery boxes" that went no where or were discarded from TFA was done so intentionally by round head. Multible people who worked on TFA have said TLJ fucked up everything they were working towards. Maybe JJ didn't set 100% in stone what his intentions were, but there's a lot of deliberate intention and set up which was disregarded.

There's plenty shit about TFA, but this retrospective applying where the later films went off the rails and interpreting intention or lack of in TFA is a bad take in my opinion.
 
He always has been. He didn't approach Lost, or Star Trek, or Star Wars by saying "I have a story I want to tell." He approached them as "I have a setting with no resolution I want to give you." That's why he loves his mystery box approach. There doesn't need to be a beginning, a middle, and end, and a resolution when he can just say "here's the mystery, you figure it all out." Where did Luke's lightsaber come from? Dunno. How did Palpatine manage to return? Dunno. How did Leia know about Rey in TFA? Dunno.
Welcome to Modern Hollywood.

It's not JJ that's the problem, it's the entire culture that shapes guys like him. The utter lack of care for details. The ignorance of the fine art of good storytelling. The condescension with which they approach franchises that millions of fans have loved.

Movies and other works of art have become less about substance and more about spectacle, especially as technology advances. Some works are still substantial, but the Hollywood culture is full of directors who are all about spreading a shallow message wrapped in spectacle. I mean, just look at the Michael Bay Transformers movies. They're fun as standalone films themselves, but as movies based on the Transformers, they failed. They spend less time on the titular robots and more time on comic relief humans, the once all-loving robot messiah Optimus Prime is converted into a ruthless anti-hero who makes Shadow the Hedgehog look like a hero for a Christian Bible cartoon, and the plot is a convoluted mess, but the people don't care, because they got to see robots killing each other, and that's always fun.

Hell, sometimes some directors complain that the messages they try to preach is lost in the spectacle. Gundam director Yoshiyuki Tomino once complained that the messages he was trying to preach with Gundam got buried in an avalanche of mecha fans just hyping up giant robot battles. Hollywood takes that up to the next level; wiping away any message that isn't liberal propaganda, and filling up the empty hole with spectacle. And audiences fall for it.

Just look at how many people think that Thanos from the MCU is a deep, compelling villain; a villain who kills one half of the universe to make more room for the other half, even though resource or space shortages was never a problem that needed solving, and Starlord's dad even talked about how empty most of space is. Thanos would've been more consistent if he snapped his fingers with the Infinity Gauntlet to make manna fall from heaven so that all the starving hobos have enough to eat.

It's the same crowd that tried to paint the Sequels as groundbreaking or deep in its message, when really, the only thing the Sequels were trying to sell is that having a pussy is better than having a dick. Oh, and something about fascist man bad, even though the PT and the OT did that way better over the course of six movies. The movies that, by the way, the ST made worthless by just retreading familiar ground.

So, the next time you complain that some Hollywood punk like Michael Bay, JJ, or Ruin Johnson fucked over something that millions of fans loved, don't be surprised. They've always had a contempt for geek shit like Transformers and Star Wars. They've always looked upon the smelly nerds as a necessary evil to make profits at best, and at worst, the nerds are practically seen as lepers by these Hollywood people who see them as disgusting freaks.

Oh, what's that, you don't like having M-rated sex jokes inserted into a robot war franchise that's supposed to be for kids? Tough shit, here's some robots humping Megan Fox's leg. Oh, what's that, you've been waiting decades for Luke Skywalker to return to the big screen since the fuckin' 80s, to come back as the Jedi Master that he was meant to be? Tough shit, here's some random bitch who's KK's self-insert; have fun with Luke being relegated to background scenery in TFA, or turned into a loser in TLJ, drinking green titty milk, fiddling while Space Rome literally burns thanks to the Empire 2.0 firing their new Death Star shotgun at an entire solar system.
 
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With LOST, he's brought on to help develop an idea for a show.
You have no idea what you are talking about. The show was already developed. He was brought in to produce someone else's idea. He then stole it and there was a big lawsuit over who actually created LOST. JJ Abrams created LOST in the same way he created Star Wars or Star Trek. He didn't. He and ABC also lost the lawsuit and had to give credit to the actual creator.

Guy is just a jew hack who has no talent and gets a free pass in show business for being in the tribe.
 
You have no idea what you are talking about. The show was already developed. He was brought in to produce someone else's idea. He then stole it and there was a big lawsuit over who actually created LOST. JJ Abrams created LOST in the same way he created Star Wars or Star Trek. He didn't. He and ABC also lost the lawsuit and had to give credit to the actual creator.

Guy is just a jew hack who has no talent and gets a free pass in show business for being in the tribe.

He and his partner were brought in to write a show based on concept because they had hired all the actors and build the plane crash set, and their original writer bailed. So JJ's mystery box bullshit was perfect.

They say he "Wasn't involved" after S1 but he built the writers room and, in effect, wrote the "LOST bible" which was effectively "as much mystery box bullshit as you can cram, and then cram some more. LMAO Bottom text Actually delivering on any of them"

For 2009 Star Trek he was just the Director. he had no hand in the script which is why, for all its other sins, it is mercifully free of his mystery boxes. I don't want to say he's a good director, nigga loves him lens flares, but he IS competent. He just sucks donkey balls at writing, and was very clearly on an ego trip cramming mystery boxes into maRey Sue's Big Day Out so the next guy would put something great inside and he'd look like a fucking genius.
 
The original writer was fired. Then ABC and JJ Abrams stole his ideas. He would sue them and win later. He didn't bail at all.

He didn't sue, they did WGA arbitration and they settled for co-creator credit. The story I heard was the first guy Lieber got stuck on his ideas, refused to compromise and pulled a bunch of bullshit to avoid being called to the carpet. So ABC approached JJ due to his work on Alias and Lindelof because JJ wanted a co-writer and he was slated to join Alias. Lieber got wind of it, complained to the guild and they stepped in and settled favorably for Lieber but he didn't get control.
 
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What would happen if we combined JJs mystery boxes with Snyder's lens flare?

Slowmo epic box openings?
There is grain inside!

As for the eldar, the implication is that they were way too busy gooning to care about humans, and accidentally took them down with themselves via gooning Slaanesh into being, wrecking their the human ftl as a side effect.
 
They say he "Wasn't involved" after S1 but he built the writers room and, in effect, wrote the "LOST bible" which was effectively "as much mystery box bullshit as you can cram, and then cram some more. LMAO Bottom text Actually delivering on any of them"

One also has to factor in claims of a "LOST bible" written at the start as just being PR spin. They made so many claims early on about the show being planned out, scientific explanations for everything. So I am sure the series bible is just part of that.

When the planning probably amounted to, "The find a hatch, the end of season 1 is opening the hatch." Season two introduces the tailies. Season three we introduce the others.

This may be wrong, but I seem to recall they had no idea what actually was in the hatch when they finished season one. It literally was a mystery box.

While this may not apply, I remember listening to JJ on Howard Stern while Fringe was on. Stern got JJ to admit he didn't even watch every episode. So we can gleam something into his involvement or care for these shows he does.
 
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As for the eldar, the implication is that they were way too busy gooning to care about humans, and accidentally took them down with themselves via gooning Slaanesh into being, wrecking their the human ftl as a side effect.
You'd think they'd have captured more than a few humans to be used as gooning slaves. Kind of like how Twi'leks were used as sex slaves by the likes of the Hutts. I mean, they were becoming as depraved as the Drukhari.

Guy is just a jew hack who has no talent and gets a free pass in show business for being in the tribe.
Again, you have to realize that this is the Hollywood culture at work. People like JJ get a free pass all the time, and if it ruins some nerds' space fantasy, so be it. It's not high art in their opinion; they couldn't give less of a shit if it fails. Hell, the very same artsy critic crowd spent the 2000s shitting on SW and calling it trash. Even the OT wasn't safe, since it got the reputation of being juvenile fantasy. So once the Hollywood crowd took over, they had no problems rewriting the story for girlboss points, because Hollywood was on a girl power trip at the time. Notice how the only piece of Star Wars they treated with respect was Andor, and that was because it was preaching the same tired liberal message of "FIGHT DA POWAH!" that they've been trotting out for the past few generations. Everything else, they let JJ, Filoni, or some other guy fuck with it.
 
I don't want to say he's a good director, nigga loves him lens flares, but he IS competent.
I have to hand it to JJ that he did a good job emulating a Star Wars movie with TFA, because those are made a certain way (linear storytelling, old-fashioned wipe transitions, etc.). Johnson chucked even that for TLJ.
 
Ya know its probably been said before, but I strongly suspect that Disney reaaaaaaaaallly fucking regrets going so fucking all in with the Sequel trilogy in the early-mid 10s enough to casually throw away vast amounts of high potential OT/post OT material for sycophantic hacks like Wendig to mutilate with his infamous trilogy, Gillen with his shitty Doctor Aphra comic universe, and Filloni with whatever the fuck Rebels was meant to be.

Obviously they were so high on their own supply they assumed the ST would be so gloriously successful that they could effectively write off the OT era as just Nu-EU comic and book and maybe cartoon fodder, which in the currentnow has resulted in them having jack shit beyond dregs of fucking dregs to work, as overtly retconning the comics/books out of existence will cause the autists on staff to throw screaming tantrums, and retconning Rebels out of existence will cause one of their few remaining subniches of fans (the literal special needs class who wuv childrens animation uwu) to abandon ship like so many others have.

Seriously, they could be making a crappy series about what Vader was doing in between the OT movies or have a live action showdown between Obi Wan and Maul or an actual prequel series to their beloved Rogue One or....actually even when handed the opportunity on a silver platter wendig failed to do shit of note regarding OT characters beyond random muddling of shit so scratch his name from this theoretical. But they fucking can't now, and anything else they try to do in this era has to be awkwardly plotted around this shit.
 
Ya know its probably been said before, but I strongly suspect that Disney reaaaaaaaaallly fucking regrets going so fucking all in with the Sequel trilogy in the early-mid 10s enough to casually throw away vast amounts of high potential OT/post OT material for sycophantic hacks like Wendig to mutilate with his infamous trilogy, Gillen with his shitty Doctor Aphra comic universe, and Filloni with whatever the fuck Rebels was meant to be.

Obviously they were so high on their own supply they assumed the ST would be so gloriously successful that they could effectively write off the OT era as just Nu-EU comic and book and maybe cartoon fodder, which in the currentnow has resulted in them having jack shit beyond dregs of fucking dregs to work, as overtly retconning the comics/books out of existence will cause the autists on staff to throw screaming tantrums, and retconning Rebels out of existence will cause one of their few remaining subniches of fans (the literal special needs class who wuv childrens animation uwu) to abandon ship like so many others have.

Seriously, they could be making a crappy series about what Vader was doing in between the OT movies or have a live action showdown between Obi Wan and Maul or an actual prequel series to their beloved Rogue One or....actually even when handed the opportunity on a silver platter wendig failed to do shit of note regarding OT characters beyond random muddling of shit so scratch his name from this theoretical. But they fucking can't now, and anything else they try to do in this era has to be awkwardly plotted around this shit.
They actually listened to Rich Evans for business advice.

 
People put a bit too much stock in RLM.

I recently bought a used copy of the Tales of the Jedi omnibus. I wanted the individual TPBs, but they're hard to come by in my country, at least the English originals, and I already had to pay out the ass for the Thrawn Trilogy graphic novels, so it was a compromise.

I don't like the art style very much, it's a bit too 90s for my taste, but it's a series I've been meaning to get into after learning how heavily KOTOR is based on it. I'm not too far into it, but it's really interesting so far. It's insane how strong Star Wars was going in the 90s, when there were no films to draw from.
 
Seriously, they could be making a crappy series about what Vader was doing in between the OT movies or have a live action showdown between Obi Wan and Maul or an actual prequel series to their beloved Rogue One or....actually even when handed the opportunity on a silver platter wendig failed to do shit of note regarding OT characters beyond random muddling of shit so scratch his name from this theoretical. But they fucking can't now, and anything else they try to do in this era has to be awkwardly plotted around this shit.
If the rat is desperate enough, I could see them start retconning their own retcons. Just claim that Maul somehow cheated death a second time and that Zabraks live for a gorillion years. Now Maul can fight the new shitty girlboss on Disney+ and if anyone asks any questions, they can always just say that it's explained in some comic book or novel that barely anyone has read.
 
Does anyone remember HoloNet News?
I do. And it was one of the most fun things about PT Star Wars. That they had their own news service that counted down until AOTC came out.

I wish it continued up to ROTS and the Declaration of the New Order. Shit, I wish it had articles for the Imperial era and the OT era.

If the rat is desperate enough, I could see them start retconning their own retcons. Just claim that Maul somehow cheated death a second time and that Zabraks live for a gorillion years. Now Maul can fight the new shitty girlboss on Disney+ and if anyone asks any questions, they can always just say that it's explained in some comic book or novel that barely anyone has read.
If the Rat had a brain between its ears, it'd have retconned the Sequels and made the Filoniverse a brand-new series that can do anything and go anywhere. Get the same suspense that Game of Thrones had before the show tanked in Season 5. That way, you can keep the goobers glued to their seats because they don't know what'll happen next. They can even use that time travel "World Between Worlds" thing as an in-universe excuse as to why the timeline diverges from the Sequels. You can have Din see Grogu get killed during Ben Solo's little "episode" in Luke's Jedi academy, and that causes him to interfere and it changes the timeline forever.

"Will Thrawn become the next Galactic Emperor? Will Luke Skywalker become a Jedi Super Saiyan? Will Bo-Katan get railed in the ass by Din Djarin? Find out in the next episode of Star Wars!"

I remember the days when DBZ had that kind of suspense, it beat Survivor to become the #1 show in Cable TV.

From what I've been told, they do that constantly (mostly when Filoni's at the helm).
Filoni retconned in the Bad Batch into Kanan's origin story even though they weren't originally there, and he also retconned Ahsoka's adventures on Mandalore which were previously covered by the novel.

Ya know its probably been said before, but I strongly suspect that Disney reaaaaaaaaallly fucking regrets going so fucking all in with the Sequel trilogy in the early-mid 10s enough to casually throw away vast amounts of high potential OT/post OT material for sycophantic hacks like Wendig to mutilate with his infamous trilogy, Gillen with his shitty Doctor Aphra comic universe, and Filloni with whatever the fuck Rebels was meant to be.

Obviously they were so high on their own supply they assumed the ST would be so gloriously successful that they could effectively write off the OT era as just Nu-EU comic and book and maybe cartoon fodder, which in the currentnow has resulted in them having jack shit beyond dregs of fucking dregs to work, as overtly retconning the comics/books out of existence will cause the autists on staff to throw screaming tantrums, and retconning Rebels out of existence will cause one of their few remaining subniches of fans (the literal special needs class who wuv childrens animation uwu) to abandon ship like so many others have.

Seriously, they could be making a crappy series about what Vader was doing in between the OT movies or have a live action showdown between Obi Wan and Maul or an actual prequel series to their beloved Rogue One or....actually even when handed the opportunity on a silver platter wendig failed to do shit of note regarding OT characters beyond random muddling of shit so scratch his name from this theoretical. But they fucking can't now, and anything else they try to do in this era has to be awkwardly plotted around this shit.
Once again, you have to remember that this is Disney and Hollywood we're talking about. Their respect for nerd shit is basically way below zero. If it isn't preaching their message or appealing to their tastes, they couldn't give a shit about it. The times when Hollywood respected nerd shit like with the recent Sonic and Mario movies are the exceptions to the rule, especially when Hollywood is run by leftists and feminists, and the average SW fans are mostly men aged 10-40. So no shit, they'd have zero respect for it outside of wanting to use it to pander to the lowest common denominator or to preach their message. Once again, the only production they've handled with care was the Andor show, and that's because it preaches the same, tired, leftist propaganda about fighting DA MAN, even though by this point, these leftists are the established power in media now.
 
I rewatched the Original Trilogy for the first time in about a decade and holy shit did these always suck this much? I get that I'm an adult now but man the special effects have not aged well, the dialogue is rough, and Yoda's a hell of a lot more annoying than I remembered. Also I can't help but realize just how stupid and annoying the Ewoks are. Like for the longest time I considered these some of my favorite movies but holy shit they suck ass. Again, I'm not sure if it's because this is the first time I've watched them since I was like twelve or whatever, but outside of the performances of the main cast, there's very little to praise here.

I had a similar reaction to the PT when I rewatched it before the Obi-Wan show, but at least with those, most people agree they suck. The originals are considered to be untouchable masterpieces but they suck so fucking bad and Luke Skywalker is so fucking annoying and whiny. I remembered him being a badass hero, why the fuck is he such a bitch? I'm not sure if these are special edition changes or what but holy fucking shit I think I might just straight up hate Star Wars at this point.

That being said, besides the Yoda shit, Empire's far and away the best one. I just don't like these as much as I remember.
 
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