a/n: i'm sick, i am in a bad mood. chantal will not escape my wrath.
normal intro
Christmas cameo ad
opens on her silently death glaring her food
curly fries, dry ass looking burger and a zero calorie 250ml bottle of coca cola
she's pissed at her husband
he ordered the food, and he got her a plant based whopper which she didn't want
he didn't know what plant based meant, so it's not really his fault
ketchup be squirting
she's MADDDD, huffing
she'll get over it
beauty bite, bismillah. almost forgets.
picks up the whopper, shows us. it's not the impossible whopper, it's a weird patty.
looks pissed, jump cut, "actually pretty good"
chomps down on some curly fries, slurpy chomping
alright. love you babe.
it's probably lower in cholesterol, so probably a good thing
was "super pissed" at her husband at first
she wanted a double chicken royale, it was a hefty sandwich and she's done it on a mukbang before. she felt like a single burger
he's like "what is plant based" - how do you explain that to someone who has no concept of veganism?
shows us the burger again. it looks so fucking dry. has two bites. it's not that bad, it tastes like a veggie burger.
the impossible whopper tastes more like meat. anyway.
shovelling down fries. this is her junky meal.
she feels like she's in this perpetual loop of......... like, trapped. of having to explain her food choices because she shares a lot of her health issues and she doesn't want people to think she's neglecting her health
she did a weigh-in today, she doesn't want to do/talk about weigh ins on screen. at the beginning, the scale is not- she's trying to repair her relationship with food
she thinks, ultimately, once that happens, the weight loss will happen more
weighed herself, she's 1kg heavier than last time (156.7kg)
she hasn't been trying at all.
double chin sighting
she knows why she has disordered eating - part of the therapy she did actually did help her even though it was a few months. it was once a week. she can talk about that another time.
basically the ultimate reason she didn't want to talk about it on her channel is if you're not doing a conventional diet (1200 calories) if they see you eating something like this, they're gonna assume you're not doing anything for your health
and when you actually are, you know, she's trying not to have trigger foods anymore. it's just food, and trying to repair her relationship.
food noise is a big part of eating disorders; it comes from diet culture and body dysmorphia.
julia is in the burger king bag
you go from being obsessed with eating, then too obsessed with restricting. it's a circle/cycle.
when she thinks of fast food, she thinks she can eat anything she wants then restrict herself after
she's really subdued today.
until she can stop that food noise, it's a neverending cycle. it's exhausting.
it's something she has to conquer herself, no matter what tools you use, you have to ultimately develop control over yourself and food
she really fucking hates that burger. she keeps side eying it.
it's really hard. believe it or not, she's actually back on track with the calorie count
so.
it's actually pretty good [the burger]
keeps fingering her fat folds and hijab, its about to spring over her chin, me thinks. she only has the spanx on, no scarf.
that's why she wanted to talk about this today, you know, it would be nice to do a video without justifying what's she's eating. she wants people to know she's still doing stuff in the background
exercise, the treadmill... she's trying to focus on one thing. wants to stay on track with counting calories for a week, then will go on the treadmill
finds it overwhelming to do too many things at once
it's a long process. she doesn't want to have a weight loss channel until she's made enough progress. until the downfalls and slipups happen less.
this is more than money, having people listen to her. more than anything. it's what she loves about social media is having that outlet to talk and share whatever she wants and having people listen.
there's a reason - she gets to share what she's going through. burp.
she appreciates her supporters, and just wanted to let us know that. she looks like she's about to try.
salah made a good choice on the burger in the end. with plant based, there's no chance of getting meat ick. if she starts thinking about what she's eating too much, she gets the ick.
fin.