Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Banks Davenport]

5:00-5:25 needs to be seen to be believed.

He's bitter! He realizes that Tam Tam's taco-loving bunk hunny has never watched one of his videos. In his head he's a famous YouTuber.

 

[AnOminous]

I always chuckle at this because it's one of the last things he did before his most recent stroke, and it's him just cooking chicken in a pound of butter and cream. I imagine his body saying "okay, fuck you asshole, this is the last straw."

Don't forget it's disgusting. I actually like thighs more than breasts, too, but they aren't for something where you drown it in butter and cream because they're already fatty. But trust Jagoff to pick exactly the worst possible option. This is exactly where you would want breasts.

 

[Bassomatic]

I actually like thighs more than breasts, too,

I feel this way also with women and chicken.

Jack prefers dicks, covered in buddah and seeznin

 

[Falcon Sebben]

EL MOCAJETE, - SPRINGFIELD, TN​

(12/04/2024)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=0e3esdQtDMQ

Spoiler: Local Archive (480p):

View attachment 6714484

He's sounding so much rougher here.

His bison burger isn't super gross as some of his other dishes. Like all his dishes he always tends to botch it in some way, but with his beef dishes I feel that they are at least somewhat passable compared to how badly he messes up with things such as chicken, fish and pork.

Any of his chicken recipes that he has done has me gagging as he puts raw, slimy undercooked chicken into his mouth.

The biggest problem with the bison burger was it was still raw. He heard you can't cook it too much or it will dry out so he barely cooked it. Then the cold cheese and that that gloopy sauce of his. But, like always, he had to say how "great" and "perfectly done" it was.

 

[Hot CILF in your area]

it doesn't highlight his bad cooking as much as it does his stupidity, but I love the grill grates video.

also cant forget his dry vs wet brine chicken...

this monstrosity

also: lazy mans enchiladas, lazy mans alfredo chicken lasagna, the sous vide salmon... the list goes on

Y'know, whenever I see the affront to God that is his dry vs wet brine chicken, I wonder if Jack missed out on an illustrious career of cartel torture.

Don't know anyone who wouldn't be completely broken after being fermented in a fetid buttermilk mixture and stuffed in an ovef for a few minutes.

 

[Mall Goth]

Mush brain thoughts:

1:29 - "En teh chipz ur WUAARMM - thath uh......thszz like wurm MEH-rin-eruh fur yer cheese dicks."

I laughed at Jack failing to get the entire menu in the frame; so he adds a disclaimer that he's "just gonna show" us "an oversight."

2:11 - "Guize, u no how emporkin' pitchers...R, fur me...in MENUS."

2:31 - "Ee-ben thashrmp HAZ sneezning.......I'm BARRY IMPRESS."

3:00 - *covering mouth like Japanese school girl with progeria and glaucoma* "Egghreythin HAS sneezning...Uganda Surprise."

3:45 -*zooms in on cup of birria dipping broth ONLY 1/3 of the way full!* "looks like they skimp on the..." Tammy cuts Jack off to insist that the broth is already in the tacos; with an adequate amount of broth in the cup. Jack was about to tard rage over Tammy having been cheated out of a portion of broth that would have surely overflowed onto the plate and table the first time someone dunked a taco in.

4:03 - *pointlessly narrating Tammy trying to eat* "u DUNKIT....N u BYE TIT...." *long pause* "THATS...u get it?."

4:35 - *audibly voiding bowels* "N DAT BIG BOOOWL A GUACAMOLE...AGH AAAAGGGGH."

4:45 - "Aahm...so...u be back??? U COME BACK HERE?."

5:00-5:25 needs to be seen to be believed.

View attachment 6715121

5:54 - "idntnoif the GROOPerKINDAruff."

As detailed in the above clip, Jack ended up giving the restaurant an A+ grade after the Hammy twins gave it a B+ and A-, respectively (Jack‘s reasoning for his glowing review was that “the chips were warm, and the guacamole had everything"). Jagoff then immediately forgot the grade he gave the place, asked Tammy what he had graded it, and then didn't seem to believe her. He ends with "WUHL...If I didn't say EGG PLUS I'll give it EGG PLUS AGAIN." Around thirty seconds had passed since he had said it. The guy’s brain has turned into one of his garbage chili video thumbnails.

This is the first clip of Jack I've watched in quite some time and I am horrified by how much he continues to decline. It's been said many times before but Tammy is sick in the head for continuing to stuff him full of the same foods that turned him into a gargling, stroked-out shell of his former self and then parading him through restaurants like some kind of grotesque spectacle. If she were a wife trying to relive better days with her husband before he got sick then I suppose that'd be one thing, but the way she assists in his disintegration is so perverse and malignant that it's almost chilling to witness.

 

[Guntanator]

It's probably really difficult to deal with him when he has tantrums about the one topic his brain perma loops on. That's probably why she just takes him to these places. Plus she's overweight and probably uses it as an excuse to eat shittily herself. I'm not surprised. Brain trauma is a weird thing and I'm sure jack is an absolute terror irl and he's got his one fixation which is food. If you try to tell him he can't have his lil fix his brain likely can't process emotions properly, not that it ever really did, but he probably has chimpouts or meltdowns over small shit. Said all that to say, Tammy is just soothing an overgrown toddler with food until he croaks.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

It's been said many times before but Tammy is sick in the head for continuing to stuff him full of the same foods that turned him into a gargling, stroked-out shell of his former self and then parading him through restaurants like some kind of grotesque spectacle. If she were a wife trying to relive better days with her husband before he got sick then I suppose that'd be one thing, but the way she assists in his disintegration is so perverse and malignant that it's almost chilling to witness.

It's almost like she doesn't care if he dies.

My guess is she's waiting until he kicks off so she can have Jim Traynor and her lesbian friend stay over. Jim is in one part the home and the dyke is in the other part and Hammy chooses which side to visit and sleep with that night.

 

[biggacracka]

It's probably really difficult to deal with him when he has tantrums about the one topic his brain perma loops on. That's probably why she just takes him to these places. Plus she's overweight and probably uses it as an excuse to eat shittily herself. I'm not surprised. Brain trauma is a weird thing and I'm sure jack is an absolute terror irl and he's got his one fixation which is food. If you try to tell him he can't have his lil fix his brain likely can't process emotions properly, not that it ever really did, but he probably has chimpouts or meltdowns over small shit. Said all that to say, Tammy is just soothing an overgrown toddler with food until he croaks.

Is tammy a bad wife for not putting jack in a group home?

 

[Adamska]

Is tammy a bad wife for not putting jack in a group home?

She's actually better because then Jack doesn't fuck up the residents and nurses' days by being an ungrateful whiny shit. We've seen how he treated the last home he was shoved into; fucking bitched at them until they made him like six eggs and oatmeal and shit that actually broke his calorie restrictions.

Jack's always been a salty cunt whenever he thinks he's being food deprived or limited; he specifically related that he did not handle well losing a hamburger on the floor when he drunkenly slammed his face into a stop sign hard enough to make him bleed. He just was more verbose, more able to mask his insecurities, and more able to express and be a bastard to people when he thought that was the case before the stroke that took his arm away. That was when his decline really started cognitively.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Listen I am against tipping culture myself, but if Jack can afford to go to Orlando every year, can afford to eat out a lot, buy random kitchen gadgets he doesn't need, and random trashy ingredients.

Then I think he can afford tip a little more. If Jack was genuinely poor, it would be one thing but he is living a comfy middle class lifestyle.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Listen I am against tipping culture myself, but if Jack can afford to go to Orlando every year, can afford to eat out a lot, buy random kitchen gadgets he doesn't need, and random trashy ingredients.

Then I think he can afford tip a little more. If Jack was genuinely poor, it would be one thing but he is living a comfy middle class lifestyle.

View attachment 6719897

This is just Fatty being an asshole so he can't short change the server on some petty little bullshit that is often outside of their control like when he used to go to Red Robin. The moment he got his order he'd ask for a refill on his fries. And if they weren't brought out now now NOW he'd tip the server less.

The man is a vindictive prick when it comes to his food.

 

[Marc]

Every day for Jack is suffering which overflows onto others, with salvation waiting at the bottom of a pot of “chili.”

 

[ResignedCustodes]

Is tammy a bad wife for not putting jack in a group home?

Oh shit is the meme breaching containment like 'Stalker Child' and 'I would really prefer it if you'd be quiet'?

 

[Hamstirer]

Perfect gadgets for Jack

 

[biggacracka]

Perfect gadgets for Jack

The chicken shredder would be a funny gift for a stoner, but you risk getting choked by jack's remaining arm

 

[Hamstirer]

Hahaha I thought that looked like something I've seen before but couldn't place it. That's definitely a giant grinder.

 

[densedance]

 

[p1138]

View attachment 6723532

"seezning and turkey parts"

This fucking retard buys some weird turkey breast pack with gravy, didn't read the fucking package. It's right on the fucking package, TWICE.

And pre-seezend, so he's got to seezin it more "sweet garlic salt", in other words he found a garlic salt bottle loaded with fucking brown sugar, and their "onion butter" is just salt, sugar, and onion powder... yes in that order(and still has sugar as another ingredient after that).

https://fireandsmokesociety.com/collections/spices-rubs/products/holy-garlic

https://fireandsmokesociety.com/collections/spices-rubs/products/onion-butter

As usual, only put seezning on one side... and turkey necks? This fucking guy bought a 9 pound tub of Bacon Up. If he wasn't drinking all of the fucking grease from everything, he could have saved that much over the course of a year with the way he eats. The fact that a 9 pound tub of this shit exists(he whined previously that he couldn't get the 21 pound version because it sold out) is disgusting.

2:57 Now he thinks he's cooking chicken.

"it's beautiful" referring to the bacon up.. says it's like "satin" and mentions how good it feels on your fingertips. Is he jerking off with this shit?

Jesus fucking christ, at 3:41 the camera cuts. The bacon grease in the pot looks disgusting, the turkey already looks fucked up.. what the fuck?


The screenshot of the cooked turkey above, he's blown away, claims it looks beautiful. Picks up the most burnt piece of meat, claims the seezning is amazing... yeah because it's 50% sugar. Says he's going to do this shit for christmas dinner and threatens us with another "chili".

 

[Sexy Peach Emoji]

The man is a vindictive prick

Full stop; just look at how he treats everyone. Granted, he's such a glutton that he almost never interacted with people outside of a food context, but he is just a vindictive prick in general. The shark tank guys making him cry on television will forever be one of my favorite Jack moments, because it is one of the only times something pierced that skull of his he couldn't wave away.