Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Doctor of Autism]

Its really one thing to be on the carnivore diet, but Jack somehow made himself look like more of a fat fuck, like fucking bacon grease, really?

If anyone else did this, it would be a fun food experiment, but this is a man who repeatedly insists he's on a diet and getting better yet makes shit that could give him a heart attack or another stroke.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

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RFK Jr managed to deep fry a whole turkey in beef tallow and it looked amazing. I wouldn't feed this shit to a wild animal.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

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This is absolutely revolting. I know we joke about Fatty and his inability to cook but this? I legit felt like throwing up after seeing this.

And the worst part is? He's using a fucking Butterball roast. But of course he needs to say it looks beautiful. Just one more example that Fatty only sees "meat" and doesn't care how it actually looks.

 

[Adamska]

I could comment on why deep frying turkey in bacon is an exercise in stupidity, or talk about the horrible gravy packet that looks like a jumbo version of an orange sauce packets. But instead I want to point out that he has a branded cooking stump.


This fucker intentionally demanded he get a branded cooking stump that apes shit like Ordinary Sausage and Babish when this shithole got built. He bought this.

 

[Bishounen Collector]

Why season the outside of the meat before it goes in the deep fryer? It's not like he battered it after seasoning, so it just gets all burnt up and washed off in the bacon oil anyway. Not to mention the SEEZNING he used is full of sugar, so now the oil is black and full of burned sugar. This has got to be one of Jack's most retarded "recipes" ever.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

This has got to be one of Jack's most retarded "recipes" ever.

All his recipes are retarded. That's literally his only mode. He's either retarded, super retarded or asleep / dead / comatose / had another stroke.

 

[biggacracka]

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That's the photo you see telling you the ravages of white phosphorus missiles or some shit.
That has to be a human right violation

 

[Super Hans v2]

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1. Very timely of Jack to show a turkey video a week after Thanksgiving. I'm starting to think God blesses us though Jack's failures, because I'm sure one of us retards would try doing this if he released it two weeks ago.

2. Wait, he fried his turkey in seed oil last year? Right wing people have been saying for years that using seed oils is about as healthy as drinking arsenic. It's amazing Jack has stayed a basic bitch boomercon while scrolling tiktok for hours a day.

3. "It feels good on your fingers." Mind telling us what else on, Jack?

 

[Marc]

You know that lying, fat faggot chugged that surprise bag of gravy like it was pedialyte. I imagine him choking due to trying to excuse it by yelling "SHOULDN'T LET THIS GO TO WASTE" to an empty house while guzzling it, then leaving the mess for Tammy to find and clean under the assumption that Jack's diaper broke in the kitchen again.

 

[Quixotic Man]

Kiwi Farmers are just jealous because they don't sneason their frying oil to the proper used toiled color and consistency.

 

[Bassomatic]

Jack used the bacon up water as a douche.

This made me almost sad. But I hate Jack I don't care anymore. Jack would insult anyone who's got super cancer and sucks a 9mm but Jack will do this? I hope when Jack die he leaves his YT password to his faggot son.

 

[The Stranger]

"It feels good on your fingers." Mind telling us what else on, Jack?

 

[Gentlebastard]

This fucker intentionally demanded he get a branded cooking stump that apes shit like Ordinary Sausage and Babish when this shithole got built. He bought this.

Oh, it's worse than that when you think about it. Both of Ordinary Sausage's cutting boards (one of them broke and was replaced) were personalized gifts from viewers, if I recall correctly. Babish, on the other hand, has his own line of kitchenware, and is using and promoting his own merch; so, while it has less personal/intimate appeal, it compensates with profit to his channel and ultimately himself.

Jack's, meanwhile, lacks any sort of interest: he came into possession of it, not for being liked by his audience to the point of receiving gifts, but by whining at MommyWife about his delusions of grandeur. He also gains nothing from it because, if he can barely sell his shitty t-shirts and baseball hats, I doubt anyone is dropping ~$100 (with shipping and handling) on a bland, bottom of the barrel, barely personalized stump cutting board.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

This is how real men fry their turkey.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Kiwi Farmers are just jealous because they don't sneason their frying oil to the proper used toiled color and consistency.

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Yeah bacon grease should NOT be that color. Dude has the heat up WAY too high that he burned it.

This is how real men fry their turkey.

Looks a lot better than anything Fatty made but am I the only one here that thinks deep fried turkey is disgusting?

 

[Hot CILF in your area]

"So I picked up a big tub of bacon grease..."​

- Jack Scalfani, known culinary terrorist​

(No seriously, this combination of words coming from this man is terrifying)

Spoiler: How lighting can impact perception; a case study

So here we see the overseasoned subject, already looks pretty bad.

As though one spilled some dried hedge clippings.
However, let's change the angle and lightning...

And all of a sudden those hedge clippings look more like a mix of ash and black mold. Likely as edible too.

Also love how his first instinct is to go for the piece that's burnt (even by his own admission).

 

[AnOminous]

And pre-seezend, so he's got to seezin it more "sweet garlic salt", in other words he found a garlic salt bottle loaded with fucking brown sugar, and their "onion butter" is just salt, sugar, and onion powder... yes in that order(and still has sugar as another ingredient after that).
https://fireandsmokesociety.com/collections/spices-rubs/products/holy-garlic https://fireandsmokesociety.com/collections/spices-rubs/products/onion-butter

God what a fucking idiot. It also is one of those where 20% of the weight is added water, the absolute last thing you want if you're deep frying something. Plus you're getting gypped and paying for a bunch of water. Astoundingly bad.

This is something even a moron should be able to get right if they don't manage to fuck up completely and start a fire.

The shark tank guys making him cry on television will forever be one of my favorite Jack moments, because it is one of the only times something pierced that skull of his he couldn't wave away.

The weird thing is I'm pretty sure he was fake crying for sympathy. Either way, that's probably the classic Jack moment. Jack himself is pretty boring, but people's reactions to him, when they aren't service personnel forced to be nice to the fat fucking baby, are fantastic. The sheer look of contempt and disgust on the faces of those Texans was epic, as was when they basically called him a fake fat faggot to his fat face.

Looks a lot better than anything Fatty made but am I the only one here that thinks deep fried turkey is disgusting?

The concept sounds disgusting but it's pretty delicious. The frying creates a nearly impermeable layer on the surface that keeps the inside moist so it doesn't really get greasy all the way through.

I personally wouldn't do it because it's unnecessarily dangerous and doesn't really get a better result than wet brining and oven roasting or smoking.

Also RFK (whose brain has been eaten by worms) is fucking up there, doing it right next to a wooden fence and way too close to the house. A way I've seen it done is on one of those concrete basketball courts some people have in their back yards. Or a perfectly level driveway if you're lucky enough to have one.

Its really one thing to be on the carnivore diet, but Jack somehow made himself look like more of a fat fuck, like fucking bacon grease, really?

The actual concept is sound even if it certainly isn't something Super Stroke Boy should be eating.

It's Jack's moronically bad execution that makes it shit.

Also love how his first instinct is to go for the piece that's burnt (even by his own admission).

So this idiotic lardass gets a turkey that's already 20% saline solution, and already covered in salt, and his first fat strokebrained thought is "needs more salt."

 

[p1138]

Also love how his first instinct is to go for the piece that's burnt (even by his own admission).

Clearly it has the most seezning

And all of a sudden those hedge clippings look more like a mix of ash and black mold. Likely as edible too.

Hilariously, the seezning actually has charcoal in it, but his mushbrain prompted him to add moar for gud meat.

 

[Marc]

So this idiotic lardass gets a turkey that's already 20% saline solution, and already covered in salt, and his first fat strokebrained thought is "needs more salt."

ITHZZ CURNIVOAR, MOM. UM, ITHZZ CALD "GETHING HULTHY." MY NUMBIRTH *uueuegGGGHHHH* EXCUTHE MEH, MY..UH....MY.........NUMBERTH ARE....ACKCHUALLY....BETTUR....THUNH THEY WUR WEN EYE WATH POY-THENING MYSULF WITH VEGEBULLS UN...SEEEED OHLS. AND UH........I GIVIT UH....I GIVIT UH EGG......PLUS. WHAT'D EYE GIVIT?

And all of a sudden those hedge clippings look more like a mix of ash and black mold. Likely as edible too.

If Jack didn't hilariously always specify which 90% SHUGUR sneezning he drowns all his MEETZ with, the world would have assumed that he simply shakes the contents of a vacuum cleaner bag out over his food.

I'm also coming around to treating everything Jack says as a lie: "So I picked up a big tub of bacon grease" is patently false; because Jack isn't capable of even one of the steps involved in standing, bending over, grapsing, lifting, walking, or carrying a thing - Or even reaching an intended destination. He made Tammy pick up the biggest tub of bacon grease the store had; and resented that he couldn't find a bigger one to burden Tammy with as he scooted off to the front of the store to impatiently wait for her to check out. He probably made some unfortunate Walmart attendant help him pass the time by complaining to them about how everyone in the store is poisoning themselves with food less healthy than the largest tub of bacon grease he could get his wife to carry.

 

[Helvítis Túristi]

Looks a lot better than anything Fatty made but am I the only one here that thinks deep fried turkey is disgusting?

If it was done in the style of a confit, I could see how it would be appetizing.