The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[FinnSven]

I think the idea was eventually to get a bunch of lumpentroons to do the hard labor while they would be the Waddle SS, rolling around in ill-fitting plate carriers keeping them safe from "Earl". They very clearly eventually wanted to make their own wool-crafts but started by selling the wool because that was cheapest.

That’s inarguably how it ended up, but I am sure there was a period of rose tinted optimism on Penny’s part.

A vision of bright clear Colorado skies, rainbows in the horizon, happy alpaca lambs gamboling, Kevvie feeding a rejected one with a bottle looking maternal, manly doods with knitting needles making jumpers and insoles, Jen making delightful folksy farm food of his own recipes, persecuted transgenders showing up and being cured of all problems the instant they set foot on the land, capitalist cis Nazi chuds coming to the gate begging to be allowed a slice of the vast alpaca fortunes only for Penny to tap his pistol so they flee.

Then being named Woman of the Decade, not just Transwoman, but Woman of the Decade.

JK Rowling would present the award and then hand over rights to the Harry Potter everything and approve Penny’s re-write of Hogwarts being an alpaca ranch and Harry being a trans man, JK grudgingly admitting that she was 100% wrong.

Then he woke up in a pool of bushmills vomit, between two snoozing farting men without dicks, in sheets which have never been washed, to go and count how many alpacas died in the night, then dig a hole before Kevvie wakes up and demands more tropical punch.

 

[KuwabaraTheMan]

It sucks that we never got any candid footage of the Tranch. I would have liked to see what the daily routine was, what these losers actually did all day, and how many transients came and went.

 

[AMHOLIO]

in sheets which have never been washed,

We always say this because it's a bad thing but Phil and the eunuchs likely enjoy it.

 

[Norman B. Normal]

It sucks that we never got any candid footage of the Tranch. I would have liked to see what the daily routine was, what these losers actually did all day, and how many transients came and went.

Ash Coyote has that footage! He was there and filming the day the Tranch blew up over Kindness! A real documentarian would have torn up the plan on the spot and immediately retreated to the editing bay, never to emerge until he'd recut the entire film into a Grand Guignol cautionary tale about hubris, incompetence, and degeneracy. But no, he took years to produce a whitewashed fraud that played at one troon film festival and promptly disappeared so profoundly that it's as if he never made it at all.

 

[Aunt Carol]

A real documentarian would have torn up the plan on the spot and immediately retreated to the editing bay, never to emerge until he'd recut the entire film into a Grand Guignol cautionary tale about hubris, incompetence, and degeneracy.

Dammit, Ash, just put the hard drives in a basket, leave them on Werner Herzog's doorstep and ring the bell.

 

[FinnSven]

Dammit, Ash, just put the hard drives in a basket, leave them on Werner Herzog's doorstep and ring the bell.

Or Null’s.

 

[Click reply to view]

Dammit, Ash, just put the hard drives in a basket, leave them on Werner Herzog's doorstep and ring the bell.

"You look into the eyes of Kevin and you lose yourself in a completely flat, frightening stupidity."

 

[AnOminous]

Ash Coyote has that footage! He was there and filming the day the Tranch blew up over Kindness! A real documentarian would have torn up the plan on the spot and immediately retreated to the editing bay, never to emerge until he'd recut the entire film into a Grand Guignol cautionary tale about hubris, incompetence, and degeneracy. But no, he took years to produce a whitewashed fraud that played at one troon film festival and promptly disappeared so profoundly that it's as if he never made it at all.

This dumb asshole missed the chance to make a documentary like Dig! by Ondi Timoner about the rivalry between the Dandy Warhols and the Brian Jonestown Massacre. Both bands hated him after it but it won a lot of awards and was really fun to watch.

 

[Frederica Bernkastel]

He was also the one doing the militia LARP the hardest

I think that was because a lot of these people were members of the Socialist Rifle Association? That group was pretty much the precursor to this. You can trace a lot of these people back to that, ChapoTraphouse and unironically SomethingAwful.

 

[Aunt Carol]

"You look into the eyes of Kevin and you lose yourself in a completely flat, frightening stupidity."

"Am... ho-el."

 

[glass_houses]

This dumb asshole missed the chance to make a documentary like Dig! by Ondi Timoner about the rivalry between the Dandy Warhols and the Brian Jonestown Massacre. Both bands hated him after it but it won a lot of awards and was really fun to watch.

He's said that he wants to make positive, uplifting documentaries... in which case he would be much better off if he just made scripted mockumentaries. He said that he went to the Tranch expecting exactly what the residents said it was and instead got... well, the Tranch. He could have made an amazing work on how destructive drug abuse, mental illness and personality disorders are on the world around them, or how farm larping without knowing what you're doing is a really stupid idea. He could have done some incredible journalism, but he doesn't want to be a journalist, he wants to be an influencer.

If he could only release the raw footage that would be incredible, but I strongly suspect that it's already been destroyed.

 

[S.C.U.D.]

Dammit, Ash, just put the hard drives in a basket, leave them on Werner Herzog's doorstep and ring the bell.

I can all but guarantee this is what he actually did: "This makes my friends look bad, DELETED!"

 

[Click reply to view]

If he could only release the raw footage that would be incredible, but I strongly suspect that it's already been destroyed.

Or it's being kept as potential blackmail material.

 

[Procopius]

The amount of time saved on researching a topic and collecting assets is massive when you have a KF thread to pull from.

To be fair it is an almost 1200 page thread. Although someone who wasn't here from the start popped up a few months ago to say that it still made great reading.

Or it's being kept as potential blackmail material.

And what exactly are they hoping to get from the left-over tranchers. Penny's back living in his mum's basement, but this time sharing it with two eunuchs, Jarrod is doing a cut-price version of that but in a broken down van, and Fat Paul is working at a windshield fitters in the suburbs of Denver, Is he hoping for free sex? From Kevin? He can get a blowjob from Paul round the back of the dumpsters where he works for free anyway.

Here are a couple of interesting comments from that video

 

[glass_houses]

Or it's being kept as potential blackmail material.

What @Procopius said

What could Ash possibly get out of blackmail? The only one who has any semblance of money is Penny thanks to his grandparents, and if there is much left of that by now I'd be very surprised. Certainly there are things that blackmail can get you other than cash, but I highly doubt that any of the ex Tranch members have access to any of those things... and don't say that they could always offer their arses, because each one of them would happily pay cash money for those revolting things to be used. Pointless blackmailing someone for something that they'd pay you to take.

 

[stupid frog]

What @Procopius said

What could Ash possibly get out of blackmail? The only one who has any semblance of money is Penny thanks to his grandparents, and if there is much left of that by now I'd be very surprised. Certainly there are things that blackmail can get you other than cash, but I highly doubt that any of the ex Tranch members have access to any of those things... and don't say that they could always offer their arses, because each one of them would happily pay cash money for those revolting things to be used. Pointless blackmailing someone for something that they'd pay you to take.

So they don't leak Ash's secrets they know in turn.
I think that shit is deleted though. Didn't they stop being friends?

 

[kazuhiro]

So they don't leak Ash's secrets they know in turn.
I think that shit is deleted though. Didn't they stop being friends?

Kevin called Ash a "bestie" as recently as May, though that means nothing much. If Ash is hanging on to footage, it would be more likely for protection rather than blackmail. A "Don't badmouth me or try to hang me out to dry, remember what I might have on you" kind of thing.

 

[FinnSven]

So they don't leak Ash's secrets they know in turn.
I think that shit is deleted though. Didn't they stop being friends?

what could they have on him?

If he is a nonce or something then surely if they started spreading that then unsavory things about them would further come to light.

It’s more likely he was fearful of being labeled transphobic and ostracized from the LGBTQ which at the time were siding with the Tranch.

Once the reality started to come to light outside of those in the know, he had probably destroyed the really incriminating stuff.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

What could Ash possibly get out of blackmail?

Spoiler: THIS

 

[AssignedEva]

This dumb asshole missed the chance to make a documentary like Dig! by Ondi Timoner about the rivalry between the Dandy Warhols and the Brian Jonestown Massacre. Both bands hated him after it but it won a lot of awards and was really fun to watch.

That only really works if you're an outsider to that scene. Ash is a transgender furry and makes documentaries about furries and trans people. His audience is transgender furries. He's not really a proper investigative documentarian; if he did a hit piece on the Tranch he would no longer be welcomed by that group as it's not something they want to see, and he's not established enough to try attracting a mainstream audience, so his income streams (Patreon + Kickstarter) would dry up. Even if he's cynical enough to realise he's sitting on an incredible hit piece, releasing it to an audience largely consisting of KiwiFarmers wouldn't guarantee future income but would get him labelled as encouraging transphobic harassment - so he's not really got any motivation to do so.