Is Santa Claus Real?

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

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At least back in the day coal in your stocking still meant your house would be warm.

These days it's just a big middle finger.

 

[Art Corvalay]

That was your parents who slapped Arius at the Council of Nicaea.

 

[Local Wordmason]

Would the grinch be a lolcow?

The Grinch was akin to a Karen that didn't like that the Mexicans next door were playing their Cinco de Mayo music too loud. He got totally cucked when he went through all the effort to try to stop them and they ended up just being loud anyways. Also he abuses his dog and that is abso-heckin-lutely not wholesome christmas chungus.

 

[timewave0]

I kno he real cuz I seent him. Here he is:

 

[LiquidKid]

“Santa isn’t real because your parents by the presents.”
Or maybe, Santa’s powers aren’t entirely physical and he’s able to compel people to buy gifts for those he deems worthy and instead of coal, he makes sure the gift you get instead is something disappointing, since coal during winter time is quite the useful present.
It’s no different than people saying god doesn’t exist because someone else came to rescue you instead of considering that maybe god was the one who compelled the rescuers to find you

 

[Lurking All About]

The real purpose of this thread is if you complain about it being featured for fun you get Null putting you on a list. Then, when Christmas Eve comes, he will be breaking into your house and beat you for being a joyless motherfucker for your Christmas present.

Why else did he come back to the states?

 

[Hanamarle Bougainvillea]

Santa's real for sure. I don't think he does things traditionally anymore, though. Of all these weird tales we were told as a child, a big red bearded man who wants none more than to spread the good word of yuletide cheer seems far from unrealistic

 

[The handsome tard]

Only Niggers dont believe in Santa because Santa didnt bring their fathers back.

 

[Red flaming panda]

Fuck Santa deniers. All my jolly bros hate Santa deniers.

 

[Dipodomys]

Santa left presents on my roof once when I was a kid!

We came home on Christmas eve and must have caught him by surprise. My dad had to get the ladder and go get them and he said he saw hoof prints in the snow! Absolutely blows my mind that some people think he's make believe LOL

 

[ChonkyNeko]

Santa is as real as the One Piece, my guy.
He exists but good luck finding where he is.

 

[Rusty Shekelford]

Party poopers will have KF threads made about them.

Doomers will be phonebooked

 

[Airstrip One]

Everywhere that Santa goes, he leaves behind icing sugar boot prints. Where did you think icing sugar came from? From slave plantations? Maybe you are one of those fucking retards who believes that icing sugar is the dandruff of adorable polar bear cubs.

After Santa has finished delivering his presents, and has signed the execution warrants for any polar bears convicted of rape during the previous year, we harvest the icing sugar he has left behind in special bags. It is used in food decoration (for example, to make Turkish Delight appear edible) or else in the production of icing which is a global, trillion-dollar industry. Without Santa there would be no icing sugar and therefore no icing. Since icing clearly does exist, Santa must also exist.

Let no-one defy my faultless logic.

 

[The Gourd Thief Goblin]

Yes he is real, Santa Claus is my nigga and I dap him up everyday.

 

[Cats]

"happy birthday Christ" from my cat again this year

 

[BlazikenLover]

Of course santa is real, else how do you explain all the gifts under my christmas tree year after year? Wake up people, santa deniers are just naughty listers trying to undermine christmas

 

[redcent]

Yes, Santa is real but I'm not

 

[Cronkle]

You know who else doesn't believe in Santa? The goddamn jews

 

[Figger Nucker]

Guys, I'm pretty sure Santa Claus isn't real.

I'm not falling for your JEWISH tricks this time....

 

[Lion of Yehuda]

Άγιος Νικόλαος Μύρων was and is real, he lives eternal in the heavens above