Victor Markhoff / Ana Victoria Markhoff / vvictorman_uel - Powerchair faker pooner, has every illness, allergic to Krebs cycle, bed mayo enjoyer, kicked out of house and mental hospital, constant ebeggar, applesauce heiress paid to yeet her teets

[The Judean People's Front]

No clue but Periodic Butt Inspector is a pretty good title.

Username checks out.

 

[Flamin Park]

So Vicky isn't Italian any more now she's not discussing the CEO shooter?

Re: scopes - in the UK it's usually 2mg midazolam that's standard for an endoscopy/colonoscopy. Sometimes 25-50mcg fentanyl is also given depending on the patient. Your average little old lady wouldn't get it for example, but a big burly 6'4" 260lb rugby player would. Redheads also metabolise certain drugs faster than your average person so they would generally get a touch of fentanyl too.

It's very interesting how varied the practices in different countries are.

That's interesting, as far as I knew fentanyl was typically used to terminal patients having breakthrough pain who are already on crazy doses of morphine

 

[Aunt Carol]

Yeah, probably, but a butt inspection? I can't even begin to imagine how it looks like. Honey, it's 5pm, it's time for your Periodic Butt Inspection?

If she has had an extended bowel prep, she might well have irritated her anus.

A lot of hospitals are moving toward "2-nurse skin checks" every shift change on patients who are "at risk" depending on a bullshit algorithm. That's 07 and 1900 butt checks as part of handoff. Victoria is enjoying it, at least.

Spoiler: hospital tangent

Hospital management is baffling but CMS doesn't help. OK, number one concern is patient satisfaction, fine, that's a choice, let's gear policies toward patient satis--no, we're adding more charting to keep clinical staff away from bedside, more activity restrictions because absolutely nobody can fall ever, and less pain medication because nobody has ever been dissatisfied because they were painful. Make sure to check those boxes that said "nonpharmaceutical methods" but we're not going to actually give you supplies for any of the suggested interventions.

That's interesting, as far as I knew fentanyl was typically used to terminal patients having breakthrough pain who are already on crazy doses of morphine

Fentanyl gets used in procedure and periop a lot because of its short half-life.

 

[Muskcarpone]

At the risk of doxing myself (oh well) - as a German Jew from Germany, what in the actual fuck is she talking about?

She's not Jewish and absolutely clueless about Germany, as she is with most things. If she would only talk about things she is qualified to speak about, she would be forever silent.

 

[Pho Real]

I NEED ATTENTIONNNNN
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How convenient. (Finals week at NYU started today, btw...)
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"grab stick is love. grab stick is life"
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"my German ancestry is aryan"
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If dainty Vicky can’t eat even an egg and a cup of yogurt because muh gastroparesis, why is she so fucking fat?

Once again her hospital diaries read like badly-written fiction. If she’s “currently bent over an emesis bag” and suffering from critically low potassium and blood pressure, she wouldn’t be doing a Twitter play-by-play.

Pics or it didn’t happen, Vick.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

I don’t think she’s in the hospital.

I don't either.

If she doesn't post a pic of herself with the current date written on a whiteboard in a room in the next 24 hours it is definitely fake.

I know she reads here, so start your stopwatches.

 

[salt]

That's interesting, as far as I knew fentanyl was typically used to terminal patients having breakthrough pain who are already on crazy doses of morphine

Fentanyl is used for a lot of surgeries and procedures because it has a short half life, it’s very strong and incredibly cheap. The latter two things are, unfortunately, also why so many street drugs get cut with it.

 

[prolific_mango]

Propofol is used often for short procedures. But I think it must vary place to place, because every time I’ve had an endoscopy or colonoscopy as well as some other minor outpatient procedures they use propofol. The color and the way it smells is very distinctive so I remember. Plus it’s usually the last thing you see before passing out. I found out recently that my dad was, according to how he described, awake during his first “you’re old now, time for regular colonoscopys old man”. I found that extremely bizarre and questioned him to be sure. I think it must vary by hospital.

 

[sarna]

Propofol is used often for short procedures. But I think it must vary place to place, because every time I’ve had an endoscopy or colonoscopy as well as some other minor outpatient procedures they use propofol.

Likewise. (Which I certainly appreciated.)

I have to imagine it's easier on the folks performing the procedure as well as the patient. Plus, if insurance covers it, the anesthesiologist gets to submit a much heftier bill.

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

I don't either.

If she doesn't post a pic of herself with the current date written on a whiteboard in a room in the next 24 hours it is definitely fake.

I know she reads here, so start your stopwatches.

How far d'ya reckon she'll take her finals-itis symptoms? Think she'll print up fake "proof" of her admission by editing documents from her real admission earlier in the year?

 

[sarna]

How far d'ya reckon she'll take her finals-itis symptoms?

Think you're on to something there. Finals week started today.

 

[Breadbear]

How long until she finds out that the university won't accept her Twitter banter as proof of illness? And how hard will she rage? Good to see her squander her second chance. There are no third ones.

 

[RandallBoggs]

Propofol is used often for short procedures. But I think it must vary place to place, because every time I’ve had an endoscopy or colonoscopy as well as some other minor outpatient procedures they use propofol. The color and the way it smells is very distinctive so I remember. Plus it’s usually the last thing you see before passing out. I found out recently that my dad was, according to how he described, awake during his first “you’re old now, time for regular colonoscopys old man”. I found that extremely bizarre and questioned him to be sure. I think it must vary by hospital.

They use propofol AND fentanyl here, never really understood the need for both but no one is complaining I'd imagine

 

[Aunt Carol]

They use propofol AND fentanyl here, never really understood the need for both but no one is complaining I'd imagine

Sedation is not analgesia. Someone under moderate sedation/conscious sedation/twilight anesthesia is still going to react to pain, and it annoys the practitioner when the patient gets wiggly.

 

[prolific_mango]

Sedation is not analgesia. Someone under moderate sedation/conscious sedation/twilight anesthesia is still going to react to pain, and it annoys the practitioner when the patient gets wiggly.

Can you explain more? Fentanyl would be analgesia right?

 

[House of Carrots]

In my country, they don't give you any alangesic or sedaterves or anesthecia (not that I even know the difference). When I got my wisdom teeth out, they brought in a boxer to knock me out the real way — but I got in a few blows myself before the KO, you definitely should have seen the other guy. Then they hold you down and just yank the teeth out. Sure, I lost a few other teeth by accident while being hit, but that's how real men do it.

And when you get a colonoscopy, you are lucky if they even give you a leather strap to bite down on. If you move at all, the doctor puts his cigarette out on your bare bum as punishment.

Do I win?

 

[klarine]

Can you explain more? Fentanyl would be analgesia right?

Sedatives, anesthesics and analgesics are three different classes of medicaments.
Anesthesics and analgesics effectively control pain levels, sedation only controls your reaction to pain or discomfort.
It's the difference between knocking a patient out with booze before a procedure (like we used to do during the middle ages) and actually making sure he doesn't feel anything.
Fentanyl is an opioid analgesic.
Sedatives, analgesics and anesthesics are usually combined for general anesthesia induction.

 

[The Jewel of the Nile]

In my country, they don't give you any alangesic or sedaterves or anesthecia (not that I even know the difference).

Pfft. In the good old days it was just a farrier with a crowbar. Bunch of pussies, all of youse!

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

Sounds like Vicki's been dehydrating herself to fuck up her kidney numbers. And she's finally not on the verge of homelessness, because the hospital has chosen to keep her forever as a friendly disabled mascot!

So funny that she doesn't once have to worry about the main thing any normal adult her age would have to worry about: how she's going to pay for this parade of medical services and specialists. She's living her best life and either daddy or the taxpayer will be footing the bill.

 

[hind matches ltd]

Not an ounce of concern about her finals or about reaching out to her professors, either (especially that one guy who wanted her off his class). A shining example of responsability, our Vicky.