"ADF" / Philip Vincent Haskins-Delici / Isabel Rosa Araujo - The Original Troon Commie Cow

[Falcon Sebben]

This is how you know he doesn’t believe any of the shit he talks. “I’m in danger of attack! Anyway, here’s where I’ll be, here’s an inventory of my weapons, here are the measures I’ll be taking.” I bet when we talk about Kiwi Kommandos here, he bounces and squeaks in delight that he found someone to play with.

Of course, this is all a larp. We're the only ones that pay any attention to him. All the other people or groups have cast him aside because he's a tard. Nobody in their right mind would tell people, "I'm going to wear my tacticool gear 24/7 and be ready for anything". And besides what's the worst he's got? Some pepper spray and a couple bats / batons. You need training to use any of those effectively. And a good breathing mask will negate most of the harm pepper spray will cause. So basically he'd spray the entire apartment with pepper spray, thus rendering himself incapable of doing anything and flail about with his "weapons" and just wreck his own place in the process. And he probably knows this but any talk of breaking into the tard bunker is enough to get his little wiener hard.

 

[Alex Krycek]

Of course, this is all a larp. We're the only ones that pay any attention to him. All the other people or groups have cast him aside because he's a tard. Nobody in their right mind would tell people, "I'm going to wear my tacticool gear 24/7 and be ready for anything". And besides what's the worst he's got? Some pepper spray and a couple bats / batons. You need training to use any of those effectively. And a good breathing mask will negate most of the harm pepper spray will cause. So basically he'd spray the entire apartment with pepper spray, thus rendering himself incapable of doing anything and flail about with his "weapons" and just wreck his own place in the process. And he probably knows this but any talk of breaking into the tard bunker is enough to get his little wiener hard.

I worked Security for a While and we were given Extandable Batons. We were given very specific instructions on How they should be used. There were Safety videos where they showed an instance of a Guy Who tried to extend the Baton and for whatever reason his jacket arm got stuck in it and another where a Guy hit himself in the was when it extended.

I am guessing that is what would happen to Phil if he used one.

 

[Dagoth AMOGUS]

phat phuck phil still can’t phucking phathom how phirearms and weapons phunction

 

[break these cuffs]

phat phuck phil still can’t phucking phathom how phirearms and weapons phunction

I would live to have someone demonstrate how to disassemble a pistol and then watch him try to reassemble.

 

[Dagoth AMOGUS]

I would live to have someone demonstrate how to disassemble a pistol and then watch him try to reassemble.

He would just shove it up his phat ass

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I worked Security for a While and we were given Extandable Batons. We were given very specific instructions on How they should be used. There were Safety videos where they showed an instance of a Guy Who tried to extend the Baton and for whatever reason his jacket arm got stuck in it and another where a Guy hit himself in the was when it extended.

I am guessing that is what would happen to Phil if he used one.

I do Okinawan martial arts including kobudo so the weapons they use. One of them are the nunchaku or nunchucks, numchucks or whatever else you want to call them. Basically two batons connected by a string or chain. And these are real. I hit you with them and it will hurt. Technically illegal where I am but the other option is the foam type and they don't feel right but that's another story.

Part of the training is how to control them. You have to literally know what to do after striking the target or else that baton is coming back and hitting you in the face. It's the same concept. Taters would unsheathe his baton probably wind up breaking something in the process.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

phat phuck phil still can’t phucking phathom how phirearms and weapons phunction

Nah uh, he own a firearms instructor patch. They don't just sell those on the internet to any one......

 

[Flamin Park]

I do Okinawan martial arts including kobudo so the weapons they use. One of them are the nunchaku or nunchucks, numchucks or whatever else you want to call them. Basically two batons connected by a string or chain. And these are real. I hit you with them and it will hurt. Technically illegal where I am but the other option is the foam type and they don't feel right but that's another story.

Part of the training is how to control them. You have to literally know what to do after striking the target or else that baton is coming back and hitting you in the face. It's the same concept. Taters would unsheathe his baton probably wind up breaking something in the process.

I can't wait til Phil reads this and we get the "NOW KIWI FARMS HAS HIRED NINJAS TO KILL ME LIKE THE HAND. PLEASE GIVE MUTUAL AID FOR KARATE LESSONS"

 

[Positron]

PLEASE GIVE MUTUAL AID FOR KARATE LESSONS"

I'll personally pay for his Karate lessons if he film them and put them on Youtube. We all have something to learn from a supersoldier warfemme.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I'll personally pay for his Karate lessons if he film them and put them on Youtube. We all have something to learn from a supersoldier warfemme.

That would be comedy gold. Now I want to see him attempt a kata.

 

[Twrx]

I'll personally pay for his Karate lessons if he film them and put them on Youtube. We all have something to learn from a supersoldier warfemme.

I'd chip in a few bucks.

 

[Alex Krycek]

That would be comedy gold. Now I want to see him attempt a kata.

More of a Judo, Vovinam, and Boxing Guy myself. Started doing some Escrima while I was in the Philippines. I would pay for 10 sessions so long as it was on YouTube and never deleted.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

I can't wait til Phil reads this and we get the "NOW KIWI FARMS HAS HIRED NINJAS TO KILL ME LIKE THE HAND. PLEASE GIVE MUTUAL AID FOR KARATE LESSONS"

We hired the finest Ugandan ninjas.

 

[DespotCTM]

His eyes seems to look in two different directions at times..
Phily, how's your depth perception? If someone threw something could you catch it?
How are your reflexes? Could you catch a cheeseblock if it was thrown?

 

[Sonichu-choo trainwreck]

We hired the finest Ugandan ninjas.

I hear dey know da wai

 

[AnOminous]

His eyes seems to look in two different directions at times..
Phily, how's your depth perception? If someone threw something could you catch it?
How are your reflexes? Could you catch a cheeseblock if it was thrown?

He's too retarded to ride a bicycle despite being obsessed with them and buying one.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

More of a Judo, Vovinam, and Boxing Guy myself. Started doing some Escrima while I was in the Philippines. I would pay for 10 sessions so long as it was on YouTube and never deleted.

I'd love to see him do some escrima. Tried a bit of that back in the day but I'd want him to be using a bolo instead of just a rattan stick. This is a man who lost a knife fight to a potato. How would he fare against an opponent wielding a 16 inch blade?

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

I'd love to see him do some escrima. Tried a bit of that back in the day but I'd want him to be using a bolo instead of just a rattan stick. This is a man who lost a knife fight to a potato. How would he fare against an opponent wielding a 16 inch blade?

I don’t think he could manage the Macarena, never mind escrima. Goddamn, it’d be funny to see him try, though. As if his super cool gun skills missing plates, spinning round and taking half a minute to change a clip at the gun range wasn’t hilarious enough.

Remember when Phil tried to show us how cool and rebellious he was by vaping? He filmed himself taking a big puff, then choking and his eyes streaming, with an expression like he regretted every moment of it. Then he thought ‘yeah, that looks awesome’ and posted it online to own the farms and prove how tough he is.

Bondage walrus indeed.

 

[a hapless toad]

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Just more edgy Phil stuff.
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So he's moved on from Lugenpresse to using the term Zionist Occupied Government?

But we're the white nationalists?!? Fucking hell...

Harvesting potato can be a family activity too.
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How did you get my pics from this year's Thanksgiving?

 

[Sicko Hunter]

Is it fair to say that DSP, Chris Chan and ADF were the holy trinity of OG Kiwifarms? Those are the three I think of when I think of the early days of this website.