🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

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Will the "MMA" fight between Gabe Hoffman and Ethan Ralph 🐷 happen?

  • YES!

    Votes: 26 7.6%

  • lol no

    Votes: 318 92.4%
  • Total voters
    344
FiveStarAce said:
I don't know if "Trying to hook his physio therapist with Hunter S Thompson trivia" is a new low for Ralph. This is pathetic, yes, but in a bold and new way that's hard to describe. An aquired taste of cringe.
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Ralph giving a woman "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" as a semi-romantic gift really highlights his complete inability to see the world from anyone elses viewpoint.
For Ralph "Fear and Loathing" is a fun trip because he naturally sympathizes with the drugged up criminal leads who bully everyone around them and keep getting away with it. One of them is even a famous and beloved author, just like Ralph!
But from anyone elses perspective it's the nightmare of having to deal with fucked up degenerates who vandalize everything and like waving their weapons about. All the women get creeped on and terrified. There's a whole sub-plot about the two if them covering up the statutory rape of Cristina Ricci's character etc.
Any woman with brains sees someone like Ralph idolizing this shit as a massive self report.
Ethan Ralph's idea of romance:
 
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Bixnood said:
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there was no response, I think balldo has cast aside the ralphamale, his usefulness as empty as his home.
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SEZ YEW, BISH!!!! ME AN NICK HAD A LAWNG TELEPHONE CALL WHERE HE TOL ME I WUZ AN IMPORTINT PART OF THE BALLDO EMPAR!!! HE ALSO TOL ME HE 1 HUNNERT PERCENT BELEAVES MAH SUU CAWLS ME DADDEE WHEN AH SE HEEM. FUCK YOU JIM!!!!
 
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Capt. Jean Luc Ritard said:
I thought if you had blue eyes women in Mexico would render their garments to you on sight? Why go through all the trouble of buying them books and stalking them?
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Women of all races are powerless before the might of the American-Mexican Aryan GAAAAWD known as Ethan ralph.
 

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I don't think Ralph realizes that his minor Internet clout was literally the only thing that made him attractive to bottom of the barrel clout chasers like Meigh. Now that he is irrelevant and his show is dead he literally has nothing that any woman would ever want. He can't even get a señiorita a Greencard, lmao.

Ugly, old, poor and with a shit personality and extensive criminal background isn't going to attract any women. Maybe if he supplied a homeless drug addict woman with meth he could get a "girlfriend" but never again will a woman endure his presence for free.
 
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Lidl Drip said:
I don't think Ralph realizes that his minor Internet clout was literally the only thing that made him attractive to bottom of the barrel clout chasers like Meigh. Now that he is irrelevant and his show is dead he literally has nothing that any woman would ever want. He can't even get a señiorita a Greencard, lmao.

Ugly, old, poor and with a shit personality and extensive criminal background isn't going to attract any women. Maybe if he supplied a homeless drug addict woman with meth he could get a "girlfriend" but never again will a woman endure his presence for free.
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Honestly, he would be better off being gay or chasing tranny tail.
 
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Mynameisdark said:
Ralph's trying to sound laconic here but it comes across more that he has brain damage. His biography is gonna read like a James Joyce novel on galaxy gas.
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"I was at the bottom of yet another bottle of Maker's Mark when the Xani Berries finally kicked in. I think I said something like: "Bish, it's not even hot outside!"
when there was a terrible roaring as of fire all around us and to the usual yammering of my momma was added a sound as of porkine squealing in mortal fear or pain and it was then that I realised that I saw before me a vision of my every own daddy, burning in hell fire! Someone shouted: "Holy Jesus, that pig is on fire!" and then I slipped, due to no fault of my own, if you want to know the truth of it.
When I came to my mother was still going on about her stupid dialysis, undisturbed at my proneness due to custom. The fire was gone for now and it was clear she had shared no part of my insight and that the fire really was not gone but was all around us, just out of sight, and would always be all around us, waiting for a chance to strike.
"You can just walk, bich!" I finally countered, shutting up my mother and thereby decisively winning the argument.
No point mentioning the hell fire, she'd see it soon enough."
- Ethan Ralph: American Pork
 
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Lidl Drip said:
Ugly, old, poor and with a shit personality and extensive criminal background isn't going to attract any women. Maybe if he supplied a homeless drug addict woman with meth he could get a "girlfriend" but never again will a woman endure his presence for free.
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Ralph is also so short and crippled that a Third World drug addict woman would probably just skip the bullshit and rob him immediately (and be disappointed that his only assets are a bowling trophy and some piss bottles).

I think his best bet is one of those women who routinely are pen-pals was convicts - Ralph's writing abilities are probably on-par with the average career criminal and a pen-pal wouldn't have to see or smell him.
 
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Vernon Dozier said:
Ralph is just sad at this point. The guy is so low energy, and defeated all alone living in a third world country streaming in the dark to nobody.

“ FIVE STAR DAYS BISH“


Are they though?
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And now, imagine if you will, this will just go on and on and on for at least 50 more years. His feet are black and diabetic. He never sleeps. He says that he will never die. He gets felted in light and in shadow and he is a noones favorite. He never sleeps, the gunt. He is squealing, squealing. He says that he will never die. Soooooeeeeeee!
 
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Pitbull Victim said:
Ralph is also so short and crippled that a Third World drug addict woman would probably just skip the bullshit and rob him immediately (and be disappointed that his only assets are a bowling trophy and some piss bottles)
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He doesn't even have the trophy, last I remember it was still at Harry's along with this FED shirt and cowboy hat.
 
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