Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[._.]

All of the culinary hedonists who make this type drink coffee or otherwise; the ones with "cool different liquids mixed together wow amazing" make me irately angry. If you drink your coffee as presented in the photo it will either be too milky or too coffee-y. The only way to fix this is to stir the fucking drink and then you have destroyed the entire look of the drink. Photography and its consequences have been a disaster for culinary expectations.

There are really cool drinks out there like the "Hot and Cold tea" Heston Blumenthal does, that actually do something innovative and interesting. Not that everyone needs to be doing shit like that, enjoying a simple ice coffee is fine. But "cool looking" drinks like this are the bane of my existence because they attract the most brain-rotted, sugar zombie, freaks who "need it to look like the picture"

To a degree cooking is an art so the guy who can make his work stand out and more saleable is the guy who can actually make it running a coffee shop, i get why that exists.

Its always intended to be mixed up anyway, i view it like hipster instagram food like ramen, you mix it up by eating it but people expect to get it with the perfect softboiled egg half, the meat in one section, mushrooms in anogher, greens in another; the ingredients all sectioned out so it 'looks pretty'.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

It's really fucking funny that Jack is trying to waddle back into being an unironic shill for Disney, since nothing has changed at the top. The people he was told to hate by others are all still there. They also in turn still loathe their consumer base for not accepting garbage as good. But because he is a retard and Skeleton Crew is at least passable for a show (which makes the junkies coom because mediocrity = amazing now), he is pissy that the shit he's watching and cannot understand at all is failing.

And that's the thing; he clearly can't understand anything presented to him now. Mainly because Skeleton Crew literally has a lesbian couple as the mothers of one of the kids last I checked. He's just that fucking stupid that even gay cannot be observed by him anymore.

The thing with Skeleton Crew as even if it is a good show, the advertising probably alienated people more than anything. It is cope to blame the Acolyte when Skeleton Crew looked a bit like the goonies which is not something most star wars fans genuinely would want.

I mean, this IS the guy that says there's no violence in Shogun.

And no cruising in Mufasa

No violence in Kraven and Venom

Said Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (a PG-13 Horror comedy) is safe for the whole family

and also said Red One was scary

 

[Bassomatic]

Everything Jack says is wrong. I could be nearly drowning and soaked if he said it's raining I'd still check he's just that stroke brained.

Aside the coffee sperg id like to share a coffee cocktail I had. Mrs and I are doing dry Jan. We went to this super cool coffee place and distillery. Had an espresso tonic. It was absolutely lovely. Sipped it listening to live music. Just a shot of espresso poured into a iced collins glass with tonic water. Garnished with a dehydrated orange slice.

Really well balanced. But yeah just drink coffee like a normal person.

Rob's video is on point as always.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

Everything Jack says is wrong

Its almost impressive at this point. Maybe his ability to hold a thought is so shot out that he's at the point where he starts with one and finishes with a completely different one, and just doesn't even recognize the transition? I don't know if that's medically possible, not that Jack's existence in general is such.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Jack sperging about politics

Such retarded hot takes from a literal retard.

It's the joy you can practically hear in his words when he's talking about California burning that is the most infuriating. A true Christian would feel for those people and would want them to not only survive but be taken care of. But no. They're liberals so they're evil in his eyes.

lol calm down


It’s pretty much condensed milk, heavy creme and instant coffee . They do it at Vietnamese food trucks near me. It’s rocket fuel.

But yeah it only looks like that for a few minutes.

That's not coffee. It's a coffee flavored drink.

Don't get me wrong but iced Vietnamese coffee is really nice if it's made with actual coffee. Using instant however is heresy.

people expect to get it with the perfect softboiled egg half, the meat in one section, mushrooms in anogher, greens in another; the ingredients all sectioned out so it 'looks pretty'.

To the Japanese a bowl of ramen is not only harmony in the bowl but it's a representation of the universe. These things are placed with the utmost care because that's part of the whole aesthetic. Yes it doesn't make it taste any better. But it looks pretty at least and since, according to them, all the senses need to be engaged when eating your noodles the image of it is just as important as the taste.

But you are right when you have weebs that insist that it needs to be arranged in just such a way or else it's ruined. Dude, it's fucking noodles and broth. No need to get overly pretentious about it.

 

[Revelator]

It's the joy you can practically hear in his words when he's talking about California burning that is the most infuriating. A true Christian would feel for those people and would want them to not only survive but be taken care of. But no. They're liberals so they're evil in his eyes.

Or at least hope the people that did die were right with God so they go to Heaven. And pray for the people that lost everything.

 

[Tiki Bar Man 2]

Such retarded hot takes from a literal retard.

It's the joy you can practically hear in his words when he's talking about California burning that is the most infuriating. A true Christian would feel for those people and would want them to not only survive but be taken care of. But no. They're liberals so they're evil in his eyes.


That's not coffee. It's a coffee flavored drink.

Don't get me wrong but iced Vietnamese coffee is really nice if it's made with actual coffee. Using instant however is heresy.


To the Japanese a bowl of ramen is not only harmony in the bowl but it's a representation of the universe. These things are placed with the utmost care because that's part of the whole aesthetic. Yes it doesn't make it taste any better. But it looks pretty at least and since, according to them, all the senses need to be engaged when eating your noodles the image of it is just as important as the taste.

But you are right when you have weebs that insist that it needs to be arranged in just such a way or else it's ruined. Dude, it's fucking noodles and broth. No need to get overly pretentious about it.

You HAVE to use cafe du mond for a proper Vietnamese coffee! At the very least a dark French roast.
Also I wonder if Jack will be switch over to more drink content a la the watertok shit on tik Tok

 

[Bassomatic]

There is a great pho place near my dad's and has the best viet coffee I've ever had in my life some of the best coffee period.

I once chatted with the owner and he gets this special coffee sent over from Vietnam little lady in his church has a connection it's dark and looks like broken glass not grounds.

I asked for a cup like an espresso just plain. He called me a mad man and brought me one Free of charge. It was intense!

Every time I go there he remembers me brings me one and he's helped me branch out on Viet food aside pho and bahn mi.

I don't mean to power level but I like to cook and eat. Just going out sparked this up trying new things helping a small shop. Jack is a "pro" why have we never seen a kitchen vid? A sandwich named after him etc? If my white ass can get the secret of the coffee with a mere compliment why can't a pro chef and food reviewer make friends in the industry?

Yes this is rhetorical.

Also cafe du mont is slamming fite me. I can remember a few hung over mornings in NOLA sipping it hoping my tummy settles to gorge on oysters and red beans and rice in a few hours as I overlook the water. Good memories.

That would be a fun question for Jack name a few favorite food memories.

 

[Tiki Bar Man 2]

Id like to imagine that one of the things that brings a lot of people to jacks thread is a genuine love of food and cooking. Because if you do, jacks videos are so much worse and crazier to watch. Prime rage fuel and I enjoy everyone always saying good things about food and cooking in the thread as a reminder that white trash American living is not the norm.

Edit: I found out about Jack over a decade ago now on /ck/ and I suspect others have found him through looking up a recipe or a bad cooking blog.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

What is that fat retard even referring to here? Is he actually retarded enough to blame the wildfires on Democrats?

 

[Bassomatic]

What is that fat retard even referring to here? Is he actually retarded enough to blame the wildfires on Democrats?

Hulkster that's rhetorical isn't it?

 

[Dead Air]

Is he actually retarded

Yes.

 

[Chunky Salsa]

Edit: I found out about Jack over a decade ago now on /ck/ and I suspect others have found him through looking up a recipe or a bad cooking blog.

Watching Jack isn't watching cooking. It's watching someone slap together a bunch of premade slop products.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Jack continues to whine about politics, even endorsing Alex Jone's british friend who perpetually looks like he's about to give a blowjob

What is that fat retard even referring to here? Is he actually retarded enough to blame the wildfires on Democrats?

Yes

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Jack just wishes left-wing Wacos like Newsom would cram something else in his mouth.

 

[souschef]

Watching Jack isn't watching cooking. It's watching someone slap together a bunch of premade slop products.

I find amusing that he has a decent kitchen and appliances and manage to fuck up everything he does. That and the fact that he has his cooking channel over a decade and learned nothing. When i enrolled in cooking school i learned a lot, in my first months there i forgot more than Jack learned in ten years.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Or at least hope the people that did die were right with God so they go to Heaven. And pray for the people that lost everything.

He doesn't care about that. He only cares about juicy meats and whether he gets to suck off Hammy's bull. The whole Christian thing is a larp to hide his homosexuality.

Jack continues to whine about politics, even endorsing Alex Jone's british friend who perpetually looks like he's about to give a blowjob

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Yes

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He's such a colossal faggot. Wildfires are not because of Democrats in the state capital. Sorry but when everything is political then it means you've lost the story.

I find amusing that he has a decent kitchen and appliances and manage to fuck up everything he does. That and the fact that he has his cooking channel over a decade and learned nothing. When i enrolled in cooking school i learned a lot, in my first months there i forgot more than Jack learned in ten years.

Yeah but when you start a culinary course you literally start at the basics.

This is how you cut up vegetables.
This is how you dismember a chicken.
This is how you make stock.
These are the Mother Sauces you need to learn and so on. Each time you make something you need to go back to something you did previously. You made stock now that stock is going to be used to make this sauce. You made that sauce. It's going to be used in this dish and so on.

Fatty here doesn't know what the hell he's doing. Years ago he had a "friend" on his show who had supposedly graduated from the Cordon Bleu and was showing how to cut onions. Not only were her knife skills terrible, her knife wasn't even sharp enough. Anybody who's serious in the kitchen is always honing their knife before starting or they sharpen it every so often. She's literally SAWING through the onion. Bring the knife forth and once back if you're going to cut through it. Or just cut straight down. A sharp knife in your kitchen is KEY.

Here we go...

This physically hurts to watch. And when challenged in the comments he's all, "well she graduated so she should know".

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Fatty here doesn't know what the hell he's doing. Years ago he had a "friend" on his show who had supposedly graduated from the Cordon Bleu and was showing how to cut onions. Not only were her knife skills terrible, her knife wasn't even sharp enough. Anybody who's serious in the kitchen is always honing their knife before starting or they sharpen it every so often. She's literally SAWING through the onion. Bring the knife forth and once back if you're going to cut through it. Or just cut straight down. A sharp knife in your kitchen is KEY.

Here we go...

This physically hurts to watch. And when challenged in the comments he's all, "well she graduated so she should know".

When she showed how to cut the celery, she seemed decent.

But her sawing through that onion made me think she was going to cut her finger off. I am usually lazy and cut my onions with just a regular steak knife and they cut through an onion easier than that. Sawing an onion like that is a good way to cut your finger.

 

[Raging Capybara]

And no cruising in Mufasa

No violence in Kraven and Venom

Said Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (a PG-13 Horror comedy) is safe for the whole family

and also said Red One was scary

And Reagan doesn't have a political agenda.

 

[souschef]

Yeah but when you start a culinary course you literally start at the basics.

This is how you cut up vegetables.
This is how you dismember a chicken.
This is how you make stock.
These are the Mother Sauces you need to learn and so on. Each time you make something you need to go back to something you did previously. You made stock now that stock is going to be used to make this sauce. You made that sauce. It's going to be used in this dish and so on.

The very first thing we learn is sanitary regulations and safety, thing Jack in ten fucking years seems to be oblivious too

Fatty here doesn't know what the hell he's doing. Years ago he had a "friend" on his show who had supposedly graduated from the Cordon Bleu and was showing how to cut onions. Not only were her knife skills terrible, her knife wasn't even sharp enough. Anybody who's serious in the kitchen is always honing their knife before starting or they sharpen it every so often. She's literally SAWING through the onion. Bring the knife forth and once back if you're going to cut through it. Or just cut straight down. A sharp knife in your kitchen is KEY.

Dull knives are seriously dangerous too. I got a nasty gash when i was working a bar on a busy night, dull knife and no stone to sharpen it. Regarding his friend, Cordon Bleu is a great school, way better than mine, but it's no use if you don't practice. You learn the cuts on the school, chifonade, brunoise, all that jazz, but knowing ain't worth a damn if you don't practice. And like you said, if your knife ain't sharp your cuts won't be good


EDIT: the onion part was painful, what the fuck