I may stop by and give a review of the niggeroni meal
Hello ladies, gentlemen, and stalker children out there. This is Running on Niggeroni, Food Review! Recently I have made the pilgrimage to northern Milwaukee in search for the fabled location where a fat man with mores tits than IQ had his phone liberated by the local impoverished youth, Chubby's Cheesesteak. There was a deal going on at this establishment via one of the food service apps for a 2 for 1 deal on their signature cheese steaks, (I wonder where they got the meat from), and decided it was in the public's interest to know the truth if the cheese steaks at this establishment are worth getting punched by an African American so hard you immediately start xeeting about orgies online after. I will be breaking down this review into 3 criteria for what I believe is most critical to appreciate
having your phone stolen after being punched smiting a stalker child and sending him to the niggeroni basement. Those categories being location, taste, quantity/price. Also, I do not have pics because I am a giant faggot and forgot to take any, so trust me bro.
Location: D+
From my time in Milwaukee, I have to say it is generally a pretty nice mid-sized city. There are parks located all over the city, plenty of bike lanes to get some exercise, and many places to go with lots of stuff to do. I dare say it would be unimaginable if someone were to stay in their house being fat, miserable, and never setting their phone down while living in such a beautiful place. However, something that I found when looking for a place to stay here was that the north-western side of town has higher than average crime rates due to socio-economic factors and not enough diversity in government. This Chubby Cheesesteak is located on the north-east side, but it is beginning to border the line and there is a noticeable drop in street quality and building maintenance the further you go from the coast of Lake Michigan towards the establishment. The restaurant itself was in a relatively busy area with quite a few other shops around and roads typical for most of the city (terrible). As I was walking into the establishment I thought to my self the only way you would get robbed in a place like this is if you were drunk (yes), were an easy mark (fat and yes), or were being a retard and were asking for it (what do you think?). The place itself generally was fine enough. It had a smaller diner vibe to it with a Pacman machine in a corner, but was overall quite dirty and I definitely would rather eat in my car than stay inside. My biggest issue overall with the place was how busy the area around it was and I would much rather have walked there than drove a car due to the traffic and roads. Overall nothing too bad since they did not send me to the Bronx, but it is a place I would rather avoid unless the food was really good.
Taste: B-
Like was stated in the opening paragraph little baby children, there was a 2 for 1 deal going on so I was able to sample both the cheese chicken and the cheese steak. The items themselves came with chipotle sauce, pepperjack cheese, onions, peppers, and the bread used for the sandwich was standard white. To be quite honest, the list of the ingredients describes exactly what the sandwich tasted like. There was not too much special with it or mind blowing, just a solid foundation with a nice mix of spices and flavors. It will not be changing my life in any significant way, but I ate half of each sandwich and was satisfied with the experience. One thing of note is that I felt the steak was fairly flavorless compared to the chicken. Most likely this was due to over cooking, but I would say if I had gotten 2 chicken sandwiches instead I would have rated the taste higher. One standout however was the sauce. I am a sucker for creamy spicy sauces in general, and their chipotle sauce was pretty decent. So, if you take a break from threatening to murder your pregnant wife to brave the jungles of northern Milwaukee, let it be known that you will find some solidly okay to mildly good food there.
Quantity/Price: F
Whenever I think about going to a restaurant and want to consider if it is worth the price, I like to think of what kind of establishment I am traveling to and what I expect from it. If I were to go to a McDonalds, I would expect a high quantity of food for a low price, but not the best quality. If I were to go to a fancy sushi place I would expect a smaller quantity of food for a higher price, but the taste would outweigh the disparity of the other two metrics. Chubby's Cheesesteak unfortunately makes the assumption that it is on the sushi house side of the spectrum, rather than the McDonalds side. The regular cheese steak there is priced at a baseline of $14 and this comes with all the fix-ins mentioned above except the added sauce which is $2 extra which I would consider necessary to create a base product worth eating. This means that you will be charged about $16 per cheese steak purchased, and outstanding legal fees of $86k should take precedent over such a high price. The size as well left much to be desired
. Comparing the sandwich mentally to a Subway sandwich, I would say this cheese steak is about 2/3rds -3/4ths the size. I am not too sure about regional pricing around the US and if this a reasonable price or not, but to me this is fairly egregious over evaluation how much the sandwich was worth. However, it seems they do do deals on the various food service apps, so if you snag one of these like the chairs out of a fat pig's yard, then I can see this place being much more reasonable. If you do not have a deal however, I can not recommend Chubby's Cheesesteak relative to what it is offering.
Overall: D
In conclusion, I personally cannot recommend going to Chubby's Cheesesteak outside of having a fairly good deal. The location is quite poor, and if you get into an accident in the busy, crowded, and not well maintained streets in the area, then that will just add insult to the injury of the deal you are already getting. The food tastes pretty alright and the sauce used was notably good, but that simply cannot justify taking you away from childing the A-logs on Xitter for even a second. So, it is with a heavy heart I have to say that going to Chubbby's Cheesesteak is not worth getting mugged by three black teenagers, getting punched in the face, losing your phone, and having your to ask your second wife's sister to buy you a new one.
Sent from Patrick Tomlinson's Iphone
