Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[ADHD Mate]

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Oh no...
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Defcon levels of hacking skills:
>Lying about not being participant in challenge and stealing other people ideas
>Being part of good teams

 

[FormerPro]

I've just watched quite a big portion of the ending of his Animal Well run and I refuse to believe anyone watching that would ever think that he was solving those puzzles legitimately. Even if you believed for a second the insane premise of some of the ways he's figuring out some things ( he heard the noise of an A4 piece of paper "hitting stuff on the way down" as it got printed out from a different room while wearing over the ear headphones and it sounded like heavy footsteps in his house), the children's television level acting and phraseology really seals the deal.

"AHA!"
"WAIT A MINUTE?!"
"... an idea"

"WHAT IS THAT?!?!?!?"

He's one step away from having a cartoon lightbulb pop up over his head and shouting EUREKA!

The kangaroo's message	For the next wingding message, you'll have to get back at the kangaroo that jump scares you at various parts of the map. In the room with the two dog statues, use the code to reveal a hidden chamber where you can trap the kangaroo. Immediately throw a Firecracker once it gets stuck to scare him off.

Is there any way Pirate would know the long, multidirectional code you input to open the secret trap door to drop the kangaroo down into? The longplay on his channel just cuts to him mid code perfectly inputting it and I want to know if he's really that obvious or if there's a way he could reasonably already know that code.

 

[Jeb Bush]

I wanted to give roach man a fair shake, at least as far as his Heartbound game goes. Found a recent playthrough on YouTube and threw it on my second monitor, while playing something better on the first one.

Was surprised the soundtrack and art are decent, for the kind of thing this is and the coding (from the screenshots I saw in this thread) is still slightly above Yandere Dev imo.

The "7 years of daily development", so far resulted in a still somehow unfinished, short "Undertale at home", that even reading aloud the description of every singe item in the game and giving commentary, the person playing, was barely able to squeeze 3 hours of playtime out of. Sure there's different dialogue paths, but all the choices seemed completely devoid of nuance (one wholesome chungus option, one evil dark path option).

The 3 chapters are basically: Generic sad missing dog story beginning, nepo baby rants about their corpo job ft. "abusive parents" & happy quirky furry land.

What made me write all this, is the games current "ending blurb":





Nicely complimented by the fact the only "update" the game received in 2024, was the April 1st one, with "eks dee funny random nonsense" in the changelog and no real changes in the game.

Be careful, not to overwork yourself, Thor!

 

[just Reading a post]

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Why do motherfuckers think hacking is magic? Better not say anything bad or he may hack your Gibson. Even if he could retaliate against someone for shit talking by hacking their personal data, and calling their phones to intimidate them or some other shit like it. He would be committing a federal felony to do it. You can tell who the posers are, that have 0 idea what it means to hack or how the scene works.
For some reason they think they would not suspect Thor at all in the first place for doing it. "Coma puter whats that?" - the way they still think police work.

 

[Mr.Bucket]

I can't quote the really good post explaining all the Animal Well stuff,

That's because it's too long to quote all at once. You have to highlight a section you want to quote then a little thing pops up saying "Quote | Reply" then you pick one and BAM, ya got a quote.

 

[Unibomber Türk]

I really pray for the full downfall of this white nigger-faggot. but as with everything, nothing will probably happen... because nothing ever happens.

 

[SlyVMan]

"Defcon levels of hacking skills" when all of his "hacking" at defcon is with teams of people who obviously carry him in non-digital "hacks." He's a leech, a parasite, a clout chaser. He's the guy who contributes a single line of code to a popular tool and then won't shut up about how he helped develop it.

They're also using the Defcon badges as a way of deflecting any possible way of him cheating at Animal well.

 

[Aidan]

The mind of a sycophant is an enigma.

 

[Marche]

Whats the deal with the retarded hat though?

 

[Retarded Fat Autist]

Can one of the Noita veterans explain what exactly happened here?

Yeah.
You see the part where the fans are voting for effects via twitch intergation?
They voted to give him a random perk from the pool of perks in the game.
He launched a normal bomb right before the perk went into effect and then it detonated him and everything else in the area.
Best guess is that he has some mod installed that adds some kind of dumb all bombs are nukes too perks.

 

[Forklift Certified]

Here is a clip where he shows his Black Badges. According to him, he won the Telephreak challenge at DEF CON 25 with the team Psychoholics.

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Source: 7:09:49-7:11:49
According to Jason, he won that badge because he spoke to a woman who was one of the best phone hackers during a Line-Con.

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If you go to the DEFCON site and click for the winners at DEFCON 25 you get Psychoholics for the Telephreak challenge which is consistent with Jason's story. For some reason, the members of Psychoholics aren't listed.

Just give the dude the Nobel prize already... im begging you Sweden... He clearly invented a method to bend space-time to fit 48 hour in a 24 hour day.

- Streaming +12 hour / day (5 days in a week).
- Probably sleeping at least 6 hour / day (and im fucking generous w this estimation).
- ! Working ! on his game.
- And learning über haxor techniques because tech savvy granny inspired him while standing in a line.

With this time table Heartbound will be out no time*

*(6-10 more years in development hell)

 

[fukkit]

https://ghostarchive.org/archive/g1co0

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Source: 9:10:24-9:12:47
Here is a clip where he shows his Black Badges. According to him, he won the Telephreak challenge at DEF CON 25 with the team Psychoholics.

View attachment 6873546
Source: 7:09:49-7:11:49
According to Jason, he won that badge because he spoke to a woman who was one of the best phone hackers during a Line-Con.

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If you go to the DEFCON site and click for the winners at DEFCON 25 you get Psychoholics for the Telephreak challenge which is consistent with Jason's story. For some reason, the members of Psychoholics aren't listed.

"that I won"
never a mention of "we" even though he was on teams of 9

 

[Symbol of the Chud]

Yeah.
You see the part where the fans are voting for effects via twitch intergation?
They voted to give him a random perk from the pool of perks in the game.
He launched a normal bomb right before the perk went into effect and then it detonated him and everything else in the area.
Best guess is that he has some mod installed that adds some kind of dumb all bombs are nukes too perks.

Close, but that actually makes it sound better for Mald.
Reality is that he already had Glass Cannon (The perk that looks like the little man with the aura) and the twitch chat's random perk gave him what looks like "Loved by Worms" (A perk that makes giant worms target the player with massive aggression).
Glass Cannon increases blast radius by 5x, damage by 5x and locks your HP to 50 iirc.
So Mald fucked himself in an entirely avoidable way because he's a retard.

 

[Black Willow Lurker]

They're also using the Defcon badges as a way of deflecting any possible way of him cheating at Animal well.View attachment 6873682
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Wins multiple puzzle solving awards at a puzzle solving convention. Skeptics: How could he solve puzzles?

But wait, wasn't DEFCON a "hacking convention", not a "puzzle convention" (aka "solving the challenges that designed to be solved")? It's cool that the lemmings are starting to suspect something, but throwing such shade at Mald in his own discord? Someone's getting banned.

 

[Mikhail Tukhachevsky]

Does anyone have reference to what his talking here about his "top guild in the world" getting wipped by anticheat? Sounds like pretty bad optics to surround yourself with cheaters (this is from the same part where he claims you're not legally allowed to access the memory of other processeses unless you're running kernel level anticheat).

 

[ADHD Mate]

Was surprised the soundtrack and art are decent, for the kind of thing this is and the coding (from the screenshots I saw in this thread) is still slightly above Yandere Dev imo.

Oh no no, he isn't. He is way worse than YanDev. But his art team is actually competent.
Anyone who defends using array of ints for story flags, and using singular global array for dialogue as sane way of developing game is retarded.

The entire complexity of his game is those two arrays. It is supposed to be multi-branching choice based RPG.
He could code it in assembly at this point(and there are probably better ways to manage it), he disregards any reasonable techniques that modern languages provide.
While pretending that it benefits performance.

Sure there's different dialogue paths, but all the choices seemed completely devoid of nuance (one wholesome chungus option, one evil dark path option).

Because that's insane amount of work to manage branching choices using nested switches.
The fact that he prefers switches over if/else might even be hurting him here.

It would even be better if he had just global variables of different types to represent story progression.
This way it would have at least some naming, and values could be limited by type into sane way.
Why have global.story[6] == 1 when you can have global.maldy.meetingFirst time == true
or global.story[14] == -1 vs global.maldy.relationship == RELATIONSHP_STATUS::NEGATIVE

And dialogue, even if he wanted to hardcode, he should at least split it into multiple scripts that would be loaded given context.
They could be grouped by event/character/whatever.
But using fucking global array for it all is just insane.

You could get away with it in linear story maybe. But even then, why? Just why?
He should have burned this code long time ago, and start anew.

 

[Adam Basile Woodrow]

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Do you think it would encourage him a little to finish his game if we make sad art/memes of the dog just waiting for him in the dark?

Spoiler

 

[Dr. Ricearoni]

Do you think it would encourage him a little to finish his game if we make art/memes of the dog just waiting for him in the dark?

Spoiler

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It'd be really funny if we reappropiated his dog character and made it the thread mascot just so he'd have to think about this thread everytime he thinks about heartbound (never)

 

[Retarded Fat Autist]

Glass Cannon increases blast radius by 5x, damage by 5x and locks your HP to 50 iirc.

that would explain it the blast radius was confusing me because i dont remember any explosion perks that do that shit and never used glass canon so i thought he modded the game

 

[ChromaQuack]

Why do motherfuckers think hacking is magic? Better not say anything bad or he may hack your Gibson. Even if he could retaliate against someone for shit talking by hacking their personal data, and calling their phones to intimidate them or some other shit like it. He would be committing a federal felony to do it. You can tell who the posers are, that have 0 idea what it means to hack or how the scene works.
For some reason they think they would not suspect Thor at all in the first place for doing it. "Coma puter whats that?" - the way they still think police work.

This is where you're wrong game preservation child, the FerretFaggot would just hack the police and judicial system to remove the felony from his record and send you to jail for 65,535 years (get it, it's a 16 bit integer limit of a sentence, so knowledgeable about kaum poo tairs!), he would then hack your digestive system so you have violent diarrhea if you eat anything but ramen flavor packets!

Consider yourself... hacked.