Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Super Hans v2]

I want to see him fuck up one Amish dish before he goes, since I have no clue what the hell he's going to do to their cuisine and I'm very familiar with what they make due to living in the Amish belt.

I'll save you the wait and spoil that it'll be a mystery meat, shreddy cheese, and butter.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Bonus: The editing now makes it super obvious whenever Mommy steps in to save him from his own incompetence.

Good thing she gave him a piece of pepperoni to put on the "pizza" himself. Like when you are a kid and your mom lets you help out by stirring the spaghetti or filling a thumbprint cookie with jam. Jack is a big boy!

Remember to dislike and not subscribe.

 

[Adamska]

I'll save you the wait and spoil that it'll be a mystery meat, shreddy cheese, and butter.

Probably, but I want to see what exactly he's going try and claim he's making. Since I can easily see him making scrapple, probably with some poor fucker from the church, with something like bacon bits or porkrinds to replace the cornmeal.

Or him being retarded enough to try and make like a chicken pot pie with a cheese-egg crust and with no vegetable in the pie.

 

[souschef]

No one is shitting on the cheese yet. Jack is so fucking lazy that he prefers using those "pre shredded cheeses" rather than do it himself. Those things are full of anti caking chemicals so they won't clump.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

No one is shitting on the cheese yet. Jack is so fucking lazy that he prefers using those "pre shredded cheeses" rather than do it himself. Those things are full of anti caking chemicals so they won't clump.

Shreddy cheese is so ingrained in the CWJ repertoire it's almost unremarkable at this point.

 

[Ihatejackscalfani]

Speaking of Amish cooking, there's a wonderful ex Amish girl named "Lovina Hershburger" and she's very wholesome just like our boy Rob is.

 

[souschef]

I hate Low Carb "Pizza" the one important thing to pizza is the crust followed by the sauce while Cheese and Toppings are just that fucking toppings.

Edit: Also, this is a shining example of why I hate when fatties go low carb. Low Carb means switching from White Carbs to Brown Carbs and eating more veg and cutting sugar out not eating tons of Diary and fatty meats which defeats the health benefits to going low carb.

If you're hellbent on avoiding carbs, better avoid pizzas altogether if you're gonna butcher the recipe. But of course, this dude never learned how to make dough. His best (as in edible) dish i saw was a pizza that he made with pre baked dough.

If you absolutely must, ditch the required dough, hollow a tomato, stuff it with meat, onions, top with cheese and into the oven so you can gratinate them. You'll get the flavor and texture, can even finish with italian seasoning of choice. I like stuffing my tomatoes with farofa, a local dish, but it's high on carbs, which is fine by me since unlike him i'm not a fat ass and can actually cook

 

[p1138]

No one is shitting on the cheese yet. Jack is so fucking lazy that he prefers using those "pre shredded cheeses" rather than do it himself. Those things are full of anti caking chemicals so they won't clump.

At this point it'd be more interesting if he didn't use shreddy cheese. Pounds of that shit where it doesn't belong is a staple of Fatty's idea of "cooking". It's fucking amazing how he pretends that it's amazing, when its burnt to shit and he's normally a crybaby about dark brown spots on the bottom of a brick oven baked pizza.

I think the best part is the note about how Fat on the go is also going to be amish, so he's going to go around bothering some small shops like he's done in the past where you can see on their faces that they're basically begging him to just fucking leave.

 

[souschef]

At this point it'd be more interesting if he didn't use shreddy cheese. Pounds of that shit where it doesn't belong is a staple of Fatty's idea of "cooking". It's fucking amazing how he pretends that it's amazing, when its burnt to shit and he's normally a crybaby about dark brown spots on the bottom of a brick oven baked pizza.

I think the best part is the note about how Fat on the go is also going to be amish, so he's going to go around bothering some small shops like he's done in the past where you can see on their faces that they're basically begging him to just fucking leave.

10 or so fucking years of "cooking career". Won't shred his cheese. Won't make his dough. Won't even make his sauce (!!!). That's not cooking, it's no different than some wageslave assembling a sandwich at the local subway, but at least they're hard workers, not entitled or egocentric like Jack is.

There's no issue in not knowing how to cook if you're willing to learn. But he not only does not want to learn, he wants to teach! I wish chefs would roast him again on youtube, there was a time they were absolutely riding him lol

 

[Ihatejackscalfani]

But of course, this dude never learned how to make dough. His best (as in edible) dish i saw was a pizza that he made with pre baked dough.

He made dough homemade many years ago. We already know how it turned out.

https://youtu.be/PH6f0RptTJU?si=07TwHS0FbQf63snl

 

[AnOminous]

LOW CARB PIZZA

His voice is a gurgling death rattle.

 

[p1138]

10 or so fucking years of "cooking career". Won't shred his cheese. Won't make his dough. Won't even make his sauce (!!!). That's not cooking, it's no different than some wageslave assembling a sandwich at the local subway, but at least they're hard workers, not entitled or egocentric like Jack is.

There's no issue in not knowing how to cook if you're willing to learn. But he not only does not want to learn, he wants to teach! I wish chefs would roast him again on youtube, there was a time they were absolutely riding him lol

10? Try 17 now. We're almost on 2 decades of Fatty's video bullshit.

There were indeed a bunch of channels, including some actual chefs with experience in restaurants roasting him, but the problem is they don't want to risk looking like bullies continuing to shit on this crippled retard. And that's before Fatty gets a bug up his ass and starts throwing around copyright claims again which is a useless headache no one needs. This is why they'll still do videos about Kay's Cooking and other terrible channels because while she is an idiot, she at least tries to improve, admits her mistakes, and at least on camera appears likeable so it isn't so much roasting her, it can be seen as cheering her on hoping she gets better.

 

[AnOminous]

I felt bad for Rob that no one's taken his bait to comment with the ways they've "cheated" in recipes (such as claiming that it's all "carnivore").

I fully approve of the Better Than Bouillon choice. Too bad it's usually only their chicken/beef/vegetable bases you see in normal stores, because they have a huge range of options. Their fish base is awesome for miso, because who wants to make fish base and befoul their home with that odor?

If you're not going to make your own stock, it's an awesome option. My only advice is omit any other salts from a recipe you use it in because it's still super high sodium.

Also what's wrong with his voice?

He's literally dying. It's fluid building up in his lungs. Eventually his body won't be able to cope with it any more and if it's not a stroke, he'll drown in his own edema.

Sound like anyone you know?

I want to see him fuck up one Amish dish before he goes, since I have no clue what the hell he's going to do to their cuisine and I'm very familiar with what they make due to living in the Amish belt.

I look forward to intensely tard raging at what he does with Amish food because I love that shit.

Those things are full of anti caking chemicals so they won't clump.

They're basically cellulose, which is to say, sawdust. That shit is a crime against humanity.

I hate Low Carb "Pizza" the one important thing to pizza is the crust followed by the sauce while Cheese and Toppings are just that fucking toppings.

Pizza without crust is an abomination in the eyes of God.

 

[Marc]

its burnt to shit and he's normally a crybaby about dark brown spots on the bottom of a brick oven baked pizza.

This is because, in addition to Strokey Monster's normal absence of effort to do anything correctly in the first place, he refuses to do any fuck-ups over again. Jagoff could accidentally get dog shit on his food, and he would still do the Japanese schoolgirl thing of covering his mouth and laughing about how amazing it tastes. Even when the tapioca-brained fat fuck attempts to fix mistakes in editing, he still doesn't bother to get it right; and just creates overlapping mistakes which draw attention to one another. The only times I've seen him re-attempt videos is when he is sued into doing so or had so many strokes that he forgot about having already done it.

I can't be the only one who burst out laughing when this shit filled the screen:

 

[AnOminous]

This is because, in addition to Strokey Monster's normal absence of effort to do anything correctly in the first place, he refuses to do any fuck-ups over again. Jagoff could accidentally get dog shit on his food, and he would still do the Japanese schoolgirl thing of covering his mouth and laughing about how amazing it tastes. And even when he attempts to fix mistakes in editing, he doesn't bother to get it right. The only times I've seen him re-attempt videos is when he is sued into doing so or had so many strokes that he forgot about having already done it.

I can't be the only one who burst out laughing when this shit filled the screen:

View attachment 6873641

Amazing how quickly he knelt to Baphomet and went full AI.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

He's literally dying. It's fluid building up in his lungs. Eventually his body won't be able to cope with it any more and if it's not a stroke, he'll drown in his own edema.

You could hear him gasping for air at multiple points in the video, he sounded like he was about to sob but it was just Jack dying on camera.

 

[Woggie's child bride]

This is because, in addition to Strokey Monster's normal absence of effort to do anything correctly in the first place, he refuses to do any fuck-ups over again. Jagoff could accidentally get dog shit on his food, and he would still do the Japanese schoolgirl thing of covering his mouth and laughing about how amazing it tastes. Even when the tapioca-brained fat fuck attempts to fix mistakes in editing, he still doesn't bother to get it right; and just creates overlapping mistakes which draw attention to one another. The only times I've seen him re-attempt videos is when he is sued into doing so or had so many strokes that he forgot about having already done it.

I can't be the only one who burst out laughing when this shit filled the screen:

View attachment 6873641

Was the prompt "Amish girl disgustedly inspecting bowl of unknown substance cooked by strokebrained cripple"?

 

[Marc]

Amazing how quickly he knelt to Baphomet and went full AI.

Everything Jack has done can be credited to artificial intelligence.

 

[Ihatejackscalfani]

Rewatching a lot of old pizza videos from Jack.

EDIT: "Parmesan is for decoration" - Jack Scalfani

 

[Crispy Jakes]

cheese gud meat gud oil puddles gud