Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

My point is that there was a hypothetical future viable for the franchise after TFA, even if the chances of it amounting to much before going into a talespin were slim, and that a halfway competent director writer combo could have wrapped up the sequel trilogy in a way to kick the can of franchise stagnation and collapse down the road a while longer.

It's also a future where JJ Abrams is praised as a visionary director and the next George Lucas.

 

[Grave Ghost]

And here are more memberberries from Disney Wars.
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I love how the second panel drawing of Watto is so clearly traced.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

In Disney? Okay so we know dark side bullshit makes the crystal red but what about any other fucking color? What do they mean?! Are they determined by your personality? Your force power? Or just whatever the fuck color you feel like at the time? It's fucking stupid imo.

I'm gonna install the Corsair RGB crystal in my saber.

 

[Adamska]

Would it be even vaguely passable as a movie bearing in mind it would still carry the fuckups with setting/characters/messaging/"humour" that Rian Johnson threw in, not to mention the same unearned smugness over how epic and deep a deconstruction it was of the franchise?

The journoscum who have lower standards for selling their dignity than a whore's would defend it even harder since Ruin's wife is among them and these cunts defend their own, but the film heart of heart sucks.

It essentially is just a loop that resolves fuck all, since the secondary temptor villain is still around and reasonably powerful, and the rebel faction ends the way it starts; running. That's about all the thought I'm going to put into TLJ since it's been done to fucking death at this point, and only tourists and people who didn't watch it still defend it.

It's not like TLJ prevented any good future SW films, but rather that it was the sobering up point where everyone accepted that nothing good would come because modern writing has only two modes:

Oh no, I knew that from that point on Disney would only accidentally make something good after they told the customer base to fuck off and die. I never particularly cared for them after Rogue One came out and I didn't think it very good, and I also saw how you'd get dogpiled for thinking that, so I waited for TLJ to be out for a couple weeks before I'd watch it. I thankfully never got the chance to, since I heard from multiple sources how fucking bad it was.

As for accidentally making something good, I was proven right with Mando, and I'm still going to assume Andor and Skeleton Crew would both melt to shit due to accidentally being sucked up by the crackheads, err, fans, which would have the other fucking losers in LFL trying to claim its successes.

And could TFA have nailed the landing? Hypothetically yes if you hired a director who was willing to play ball with the mystery boxes. However given how often that approach eats shit given Lost exists, I think at the end of the day it'd always eventually fail. It likely would've just done so for the 9th movie when it's resolved dissapointingly.

 

[Gondolindrim]

Vader killing Watto is so performative. Yeah Watto's a slaver and all, but Anakin never actually disliked him. Tatooine slavery was more like just having a job instead of being whipped to death in a field. Vader holding a grudge over that is just OOC

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

Vader killing Watto is so performative. Yeah Watto's a slaver and all, but Anakin never actually disliked him. Tatooine slavery was more like just having a job instead of being whipped to death in a field. Vader holding a grudge over that is just OOC

The old canon just had Watto live on, making deals with people as the galaxy raged in war. Vader never visited him nor bothered him his entire life. It's safe to say that SWEU Watto probably saw the Empire fall.

 

[Screamer_2]

I still don't believe that anyone sincerely likes TLJ. Some people liked it at the time, but it was just a disposable piece of content they consumed and moved on from. They may have gotten into some culture war nonsense at the time but moved on because it was a worthless film that doesn't stand alone and doesn't fit within its trilogy or the trilogies. You'll have the shills and people who'll still virtue signal about it, but they don't rewatch the film. They'll just claim that the film was amazing as a culture war virtue signal circle jerk on reddit. Or if it comes up makes passing reference to it being good, but they don't remember it in any detail, saw it years ago but know they're meant to claim it was really good.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

So I don't know if these have been posted in the thread or not yet, and I am not combing through 3000 pages to see if they were, but I thought they were interesting and you guys might like them.

 

[The Nothingness]

Vader killing Watto is so performative. Yeah Watto's a slaver and all, but Anakin never actually disliked him. Tatooine slavery was more like just having a job instead of being whipped to death in a field. Vader holding a grudge over that is just OOC

This plays out like The Slaves of Zygerria arc from TCW where those slaves are being treated worst than Anakin did, yet he acts he went through the same treatment.

 

[Gondolindrim]

I still don't believe that anyone sincerely likes TLJ. Some people liked it at the time, but it was just a disposable piece of content they consumed and moved on from. They may have gotten into some culture war nonsense at the time but moved on because it was a worthless film that doesn't stand alone and doesn't fit within its trilogy or the trilogies. You'll have the shills and people who'll still virtue signal about it, but they don't rewatch the film. They'll just claim that the film was amazing as a culture war virtue signal circle jerk on reddit. Or if it comes up makes passing reference to it being good, but they don't remember it in any detail, saw it years ago but know they're meant to claim it was really good.

I maintain that it was the least bad of the Sequels. I hated TFA and ROS for being total ripoffs much more than I hated TLJ for being crap. Well the Luke stuff was pretty bad though.

 

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

I maintain that it was the least bad of the Sequels. I hated TFA and ROS for being total ripoffs much more than I hated TLJ for being crap. Well the Luke stuff was pretty bad though.

It is a movie that created a thousand Youtube channels. It succeeds at being divisive and it did get people to seriously examine media. On its own, it's still bad, but it's not quite the consumerist slop the other two movies are.

 

[Space Police]

As for accidentally making something good, I was proven right with Mando, and I'm still going to assume Andor and Skeleton Crew would both melt to shit due to accidentally being sucked up by the crackheads, err, fans, which would have the other fucking losers in LFL trying to claim its successes.

Skeleton Crew only has a decent ending, and Andor is actually good for being more down-to-earth.

 

[Bob Barbas]

The old canon just had Watto live on, making deals with people as the galaxy raged in war. Vader never visited him nor bothered him his entire life. It's safe to say that SWEU Watto probably saw the Empire fall.

It helped that he mostly stayed on Tatooine which in the old EU was also a place Vader never wanted to return to because he didn't want to be reminded of his past as Anakin Skywalker. Again it's the entire reason Obi-Wan chose to hide Luke there in the first place because he knew Vader would never set foot there. But new canon doesn't give a shit about any of that. Don't forget he also slaughters another Tusken village for the fuck of it. It's about as performative as you can get. But nobody cares as long as they get to see Vader fuck some shit up, no matter how stupid it is.

 

[draggs]

TFA is the best one for this line:

Han: Okay. How do we blow it up? There's always a way to do that.

I'm sure it was a Freudian slip on the creative bankruptcy of the movie and after the next two came out, a commentary on the creative bankruptcy of the sequel trilogy as a whole. Also it's funnier if it was unintentional

And TLJ is the same OT rehash that TFA and RotS (II) are, ESB had the same tension of "Are ANY Force-users REALLY the good guys? Is the light side TRULY better?" but did it with competence, presented it as a true quandary for Luke as he learns about how tempting the dark side can be on Dagobah and Bespin, and in the end the TWEEST that Obi-Wan had lied to him by omission about his father (and, by implication, Yoda did too, by never telling him either). The main theme of TLJ is an extremely dumbed-down version of that theme from ESB

 

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

Watching Charlie Hopkinson power his way through Skeleton Crew, I can see how reviewers can say it's good enough for what it is, but I have a visceral disgust of Amblin-type shows because the kids get so much plot armor that the story loses most of its stakes. If children's entertainment was more like Gundam, a bunch of civilians would have been killed in the first five minutes and the big brother/father would be killed half-way through the show's run. Imagine if one of those kids, like Max Reebo's nephew, got stabbed with a lightsaber. Then there'd be actual tragedy and that makes the protagonists change into adults, which is the point of coming-of-age stories.

It might be acceptable for an American kid's show, but I expect more out of entertainment in general.

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

It helped that he mostly stayed on Tatooine which in the old EU was also a place Vader never wanted to return to because he didn't want to be reminded of his past as Anakin Skywalker. Again it's the entire reason Obi-Wan chose to hide Luke there in the first place because he knew Vader would never set foot there. But new canon doesn't give a shit about any of that. Don't forget he also slaughters another Tusken village for the fuck of it. It's about as performative as you can get. But nobody cares as long as they get to see Vader fuck some shit up, no matter how stupid it is.

I remember Kenobi having conniptions when he learned that Vader was still alive from a passing spacer in Mos Eisley, thinking that Vader would obviously set up shop there, since it's his homeworld and his relatives still live there. Qui-Gon's spirit calmed him, telling him that the part of Anakin that resided in Vader would never return to Tatooine due to his negative experiences there. (Dark Lord: Rise of Darth Vader)

 

[Bob Barbas]

I remember Kenobi having conniptions when he learned that Vader was still alive from a passing spacer in Mos Eisley, thinking that Vader would obviously set up shop there, since it's his homeworld and his relatives still live there. Qui-Gon's spirit calmed him, telling him that the part of Anakin that resided in Vader would never return to Tatooine due to his negative experiences there. (Dark Lord: Rise of Darth Vader)

Yup, sadly it's clearly not canon anymore. But it made perfect sense.
Again it's one of those things where the EU accidentally turned something that was incidental in the movie into something interesting.

In the movie the only reason Vader didn't show up on Tatooine himself to recover the plans was because they knew to use him sparingly at the time. But later because of lore established by the prequels they decided to turn it into a thing. That imo was some of the best lore created in the old EU based on incidental shit from the movie that either explained it in a satisfying way or created an interesting story around it.

Though I think the funniest thing was I don't think it's ever directly explained in the movies but the only reason Tarkin died in the explosion of the original Death Star was because Peter Cushing was too busy at the time to reprise his role in the next movie so they just said "Fuck it, he died when the Death Star blew up." I mean it works, obviously. I always just thought that was a little humorous.

 

[draggs]

Though I think the funniest thing was I don't think it's ever directly explained in the movies but the only reason Tarkin died in the explosion of the original Death Star was because Peter Cushing was too busy at the time to reprise his role in the next movie so they just said "Fuck it, he died when the Death Star blew up." I mean it works, obviously. I always just thought that was a little humorous.

Cushing wanted to be Obi-Wan but conflicts he had when Episode IV was scheduled to be filmed made that impossible. Lucas has said he wanted Cushing to play Tarkin from the start and offered him the role when they met in-person for the first time during the casting of the movie. But Cushing said Lucas originally offered him Obi-Wan. It's Cushing's word vs. Lucas' on that one

 

[GlupShitto]

My retarded ST take is that while TLJ sucked ass, it left the door open to a far better movie than what we got in Episode 9. It could've been a prequel situation where you have two movies that are utter dogshit and one that's great and retroactively redeemed the previous two. They should've leaned into Kylo being thrust into a leadership position he doesn't have the experience or mental stability for and the consequences of that as Hux's petty rivalry with him evolves to the next level as he's now fighting to protect the integrity of the First Order from a leader who stops caring about military or political goals in favor of pursuing a spiritual victory and creating a new Sith Empire or something like that. Doing literally anything with the fact that Kylo managed to surpass Vader and as such was no longer just finishing what he started felt like such an obvious next step, but instead they opted to bring Sheev back to life for some god forsaken reason. You could keep the Rey is backed by all the Jedi thing (maybe even using it to explain why she's stupidly OP, that she's somehow a link between the Cosmic Force and the Living Force).

Honestly the worst part about the ST is that even though the movies are god awful, I actually like a lot of the characters on a conceptual level and I remember enjoying a good deal of the tie in fiction as a kid (the Poe comic was what actually got me into comic books when I was younger).

 

[William Murderface]

In the movie the only reason Vader didn't show up on Tatooine himself to recover the plans was because they knew to use him sparingly at the time. But later because of lore established by the prequels they decided to turn it into a thing. That imo was some of the best lore created in the old EU based on incidental shit from the movie that either explained it in a satisfying way or created an interesting story around it.

Not just that, but it also shows the Stormtroopers are actually capable of doing stuff. They go through the defenders of Leia's ship like it's nothing, they track the droids to the Jawas, kill them, track the droids to the Lars Homestead, kill Owen and Beru, track the droids to the Cantina and then to the hanger. It's only because our guys are The Heroes that they manage to get away. The only reason The Heroes manage to rescue Leia was surprise. The Heroes escape the DS because Vader and Tarkin allowed them to escape and it was down to Luke alone to destroy the DS with the Force and the late arrival of Han.

I know everyone says Stormtroopers can't hit anything, but they did a pretty good job at killing anyone who isn't The Heroes. On Hoth the Snowtroopers curbstomped the Rebels. On Cloud City, Vader didn't have that many with him when Lando, Leia, and Chewie escape. and again Our Heroes managed to slip through Vader's fingers because that's what protagonist characters do. On Endor they were doing fine until the Ewoks showed up and the Empire didn't know how to deal with them and didn't have time to regroup and come up with a battleplan.