Bespoke translation by yours truly. Original article [A] by Danisch
Disclaimer because some readers were confused:
The article is not originally written tongue-in-cheek or humorously. The tone is dry, descriptive, and matter-of-fact. The facts regarding EU law, textile waste/old clothes containers, separate bins for separate kinds of trash, etc.pp. are all 100% real and, aside from people who are not familiar with the new EU law regarding recycling of textiles, everybody who lives in Germany can confirm them.
I have looked into the matter of how to dispose of a pair of old underpants.
The situation is this:
I've still got one pair of old underpants lying around in Berlin. It's not that they're in a fundamentally embarrassing state, but the elastic rubber band that keeps the thing in position wears down over the years. And the things also shrink. That is why I am in possession of a decommissioned pair of underpants that I would like to dispose of at some point - while obeying the law.
When it rains, it pours, which is also why I've got a few decommissioned socks, of which one has a hole because they have been under a lot of load and walked thin over time, and it looks like one of the two didn't survive the last laundry session. Not usable anymore. Frankly, you could keep using the second one, but the pattern is so unique that I am ready to dispose of the second sock ahead of the end of its lifespan.
Now I have - next to the normal apartment waste and recyclable material, which I normally have to carry around 15 meters to the container with the trash cans for residual waste, recyclable material, paper/cardboard, organic waste, glass - a pair of underpants and a pair of socks that I need to dispose of.
But, look that that.
Until recently, I missed out on that, that's my fault, I could have simply put them with the residual waste.
But since 1.1.2025, European Law says that textiles of all kinds, of all conditions, of all sizes, are no longer allowed to go into the trash. (According to the phrasing, I guess that even applies to broken carbon fiber tripods and shopping bags.) They need to go to textile recycling or into a textile collection bin.
Now, 10 years ago, this wouldn't have been a problem, this area was full of dubious textile collection containers. You could have thrown that in there while abiding by EU law, so they can go and throw that into the trash, on the street, or into a bush. But they got rid of them many years ago already. They were annoying, they were violating the law, and they were also dangerous because the migrants tried to steal clothing, slid into the theft protection flap head-first, and if they were lucky, they only got trapped inside and got freed by the fire department, if they were unlucky they died in there because you can't be hanging upside down for so long or asphyxiate. That is why these things got removed from the wild. We are no longer a country in which you can just install old clothing collection containers. No longer works.
According to the municipal cleansing department of Berlin my only option is handing them in at a recycling yard.
By car, that would be 7.5 kilometers [4.6 miles] one way, so 15 km [9.3 mi] of driving to get rid of one pair of underpants without becoming liable to prosecution.
By public transport, 40 minutes one way, almost two hours with a return trip. One way for 3.80 euros, so 7.60 euros in total. Although a total of 2 km [1.2 mi] would need to get covered on foot. Which requires that you are not disabled and are able to walk 2 km, and can carry the weight of the disposable goods. With a pair of underpants, even in conjunction with a pair of socks, that should be manageable, but nobody knows how a simultaneously over-aged and de-automobilized society is supposed to correctly get rid of their trash.
To make things harder, there are opening times. Because said recycling yard is usually open from 7 AM to 5 PM, until 7:30 PM on Thursdays, until 3:30 PM on Saturdays. Hard to reach for people who work a job, especially people with children.
So this is how it is to want to get rid of an old pair of underpants while complying with the EU of our times.
Frankly, it would be cheaper and easier to put them in an envelope and just send them somewhere. Maybe to the EU.
I have also considered waiting for Spring and just snapping them through some open window. But, like I said, the rubber is worn out, that won't have any tension anymore.
Disclaimer because some readers were confused:
The article is not originally written tongue-in-cheek or humorously. The tone is dry, descriptive, and matter-of-fact. The facts regarding EU law, textile waste/old clothes containers, separate bins for separate kinds of trash, etc.pp. are all 100% real and, aside from people who are not familiar with the new EU law regarding recycling of textiles, everybody who lives in Germany can confirm them.
A pair of old underpants in EU-Germany
I have looked into the matter of how to dispose of a pair of old underpants.
The situation is this:
I've still got one pair of old underpants lying around in Berlin. It's not that they're in a fundamentally embarrassing state, but the elastic rubber band that keeps the thing in position wears down over the years. And the things also shrink. That is why I am in possession of a decommissioned pair of underpants that I would like to dispose of at some point - while obeying the law.
When it rains, it pours, which is also why I've got a few decommissioned socks, of which one has a hole because they have been under a lot of load and walked thin over time, and it looks like one of the two didn't survive the last laundry session. Not usable anymore. Frankly, you could keep using the second one, but the pattern is so unique that I am ready to dispose of the second sock ahead of the end of its lifespan.
Now I have - next to the normal apartment waste and recyclable material, which I normally have to carry around 15 meters to the container with the trash cans for residual waste, recyclable material, paper/cardboard, organic waste, glass - a pair of underpants and a pair of socks that I need to dispose of.
But, look that that.
Until recently, I missed out on that, that's my fault, I could have simply put them with the residual waste.
But since 1.1.2025, European Law says that textiles of all kinds, of all conditions, of all sizes, are no longer allowed to go into the trash. (According to the phrasing, I guess that even applies to broken carbon fiber tripods and shopping bags.) They need to go to textile recycling or into a textile collection bin.
Now, 10 years ago, this wouldn't have been a problem, this area was full of dubious textile collection containers. You could have thrown that in there while abiding by EU law, so they can go and throw that into the trash, on the street, or into a bush. But they got rid of them many years ago already. They were annoying, they were violating the law, and they were also dangerous because the migrants tried to steal clothing, slid into the theft protection flap head-first, and if they were lucky, they only got trapped inside and got freed by the fire department, if they were unlucky they died in there because you can't be hanging upside down for so long or asphyxiate. That is why these things got removed from the wild. We are no longer a country in which you can just install old clothing collection containers. No longer works.
According to the municipal cleansing department of Berlin my only option is handing them in at a recycling yard.
By car, that would be 7.5 kilometers [4.6 miles] one way, so 15 km [9.3 mi] of driving to get rid of one pair of underpants without becoming liable to prosecution.
By public transport, 40 minutes one way, almost two hours with a return trip. One way for 3.80 euros, so 7.60 euros in total. Although a total of 2 km [1.2 mi] would need to get covered on foot. Which requires that you are not disabled and are able to walk 2 km, and can carry the weight of the disposable goods. With a pair of underpants, even in conjunction with a pair of socks, that should be manageable, but nobody knows how a simultaneously over-aged and de-automobilized society is supposed to correctly get rid of their trash.
To make things harder, there are opening times. Because said recycling yard is usually open from 7 AM to 5 PM, until 7:30 PM on Thursdays, until 3:30 PM on Saturdays. Hard to reach for people who work a job, especially people with children.
So this is how it is to want to get rid of an old pair of underpants while complying with the EU of our times.
Frankly, it would be cheaper and easier to put them in an envelope and just send them somewhere. Maybe to the EU.
I have also considered waiting for Spring and just snapping them through some open window. But, like I said, the rubber is worn out, that won't have any tension anymore.
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