r/FedNews

[stares at error messages]

The FBI is a domestic intel agency started by the Hoover administration. They have no values. The FBI exists to terrorise vooters and put electrical tape over other people's security cameras.

 

[Ravana]

The older guy at my job is fed and he took the offer and is retiring early. My biggest concern is me moving my desk into his soon to be vacant office .

 

[BoomerPrime]

They’re too retarded to know that DC is like 50% contractors with top secret clearance.

Also worth noting: amazing how all of a sudden these faggots are concerned about PRIVATE SERVERS.

The older guy at my job is fed and he took the offer and is retiring early. My biggest concern is me moving my desk into his soon to be vacant office .

Sir, do you glow?

 

[Inspector Rex]

View attachment 6948493

https://www.reddit.com/r/fednews/comments/1ig03eg/anyone_else_struggling_with_family_not_seeming_to/

What a fucking idiot. How about taking 8 months-worth severance, sit back and start looking for job opportunities to NOT LOSE the fucking house where your family lives?

No shit grandpa is not concerned, he probably won't even consider that his child is a drooling retard that won't take that opportunity because reddit updoots.

 

[Hylic]

sometimes your personal army

 

[Absurdist Laughter]

What a fucking idiot. How about taking 8 months-worth severance, sit back and start looking for job opportunities to NOT LOSE the fucking house where your family lives?

It's wild right? It's like everyone involved has become professional victims with no common sense, self preservation instincts, or how to be a functioning human being. Personally, if this is the class of retard within the government of which part of my income goes to them, I want them gone. Because, I can't trust these people to be moral and ethical when it comes to US Citizens. Hell, I'd imagine when the dust settles there will be a lot wealthy fed wives that were married to fed men.

 

[Miang]

Why are they like this?

The fed is all that most of them know.

They don't understand the private sector. They don't understand that, for the average person, having to work usually means making adjustments or sacrifices to your lifestyle. They don't understand that the comforts, benefits and securities of their jobs are things that millions of Americans simply have to go without.

Remember the character Brooks from The Shawshank Redemption? The lifer who spent so many years on "the inside" that it became home to him, a place where he had friends and an important role as the prison librarian, but then he was finally freed and sent back to "the outside", and found himself completely, utterly alone in a world he no longer understood, could not keep up with, now seemed innately hostile to the old man he'd become, and which no longer had a place for him?

It's a similar problem with most feds - but now strip out all the sympathy of the character above and replace it with a peevishness that would startle Eustace Clarence Scrubb. They start in government by choice and end in government by choice. They willingly acclimate to a culture of self-paced inadequacy where concepts like "urgency" and "deadlines" are written in chalk. They lose any connection whatsoever to what work has actually looked like for most of the history of human civilization. And they feel good about this. Who wouldn't? As long as you don't commit timecard fraud or shoot up the place, you're impossible to fire. (And really, I'm not so sure about the second.)

Except now, here we are. The new guy at the top is someone who started not in government, but in business. Some of those businesses succeeded. Some of those businesses failed. But successful or unsuccessful, those businesses required the people working in them to fucking perform.

So Week One, he decides to see who among these people are interested in performing the way that his employees and, for that matter, the overwhelming majority of employees in the United States have traditionally performed, or if they want to find out what happens when you don't.

Well, the deadline is tonight. 11:59PM EST. No extensions. Nut up or shut up.

We'll see which people in the fed are truly there out of a desire to get with the program and work for the country, which ones bend the knee and take a deal that is far better than many of them deserve, and which ones are going to be scratching "/R/FEDNEWS WAS HERE" into the ceiling before using their belts to tie their own nooses.

 

[Free the Pedos]

It's wild right? It's like everyone involved has become professional victims with no common sense, self preservation instincts, or how to be a functioning human being

I think most of the feds refusing to quit are doing so because they know they can’t hack it in the real world. They’re like fish who can only thrive in hyperspecific coral reef conditions. There’s no private sector market for people who need to write summaries on fertilizer disbursement in Ghana and also don’t come to work.

 

[Absurdist Laughter]

I think most of the feds refusing to quit are doing so because they know they can’t hack it in the real world.

Of course, I agree! Breaking out of the bubble of complacency is tough and when you've been coddled into a work environment sludgier than a fresh oil well your sensibilities begin to erode. You're no longer just staring at the void, you are now the void and know nothing else because of it.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

I think most of the feds refusing to quit are doing so because they know they can’t hack it in the real world. They’re like fish who can only thrive in hyperspecific coral reef conditions. There’s no private sector market for people who need to write summaries on fertilizer disbursement in Ghana and also don’t come to work.

Imagine if your entire life is dedicated to some niche that the average person does not care about.

 

[x3firehexx]

Feds shouldn't have reddit profiles to begin with. Not because of them being literal glowniggers on the internet (ok, well, it IS because they are literal glowniggers on the internet) but also from a OPSEC point. I wonder how nothing has turboleaked on there given that redditors and "good opsec" are not two words that go together well

 

[A Distant Northern Land]

They really do think they live in a Tom Clancy novel.
He was 5 days from retirement, but they had to drag him back in.

Snake… we need you for one last mission. Crawl through the overheating server racks to post a “Happy Black History Month” celebration email to our 76 employees.

 

[Shig O'nella]

Do you consider your tax dollars being spent to convince sandniggers to troon out their children useful?

Sterilizing niggers and sandniggers is always useful.

 

[Seething Troon Collector]

View attachment 6947384

Uh oh they're gonna do a violence!

They're gonna kill themselves EXTRA hard!

Oh fuck.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Same redditors who celebrated and enforced covid restrictions with glee and always had the most callous responses to people loosing their livelihood surprised everyone hates them.

 

[Skylavijas]

I love all the calls to arrest Elon and Trump from the same people who want the police defunded.

Oh right, now I understand why I feel so weirded out by this thread... WHY THE FUCK WOULD THE ACAB CROWD WHO DESPISE AUTHORITY WORK IN A HIGHEST ECHALON OF POLICE ORGANIZATION!?

How can these people in clear conscience cry "fascism" when they work for an organization that does shit as seen above? It doesn't even make pragmatic sense to be so left-wing. Let's say for the benefit of the doubt... Yes, these people are pencil pushers who are only in it for extremely generous government benefits... Why would they endorse and support an ideology that's directly responsible for government institutions like FBI, THEIR OWN WORKPLACES, receiving heavy budget cuts? It doesn't make any sense. My only logical explanation is that many of these people are merrily LARPing as lefties and once they get assurance of not getting fired, they'll return back to their cushy job position of helping the police break into homes of illegals, while simultaneously posting "black lives matter" on their online feed, as they did under Biden.

there are tons of jobs where you can come into work like once or twice a week, sometimes a month, then fuck off and still be on the payroll.

Although this also would explain a lot. If your job involves coming into work only once or twice a week, let alone a month, that would lead to you having a massive excess of free time that you can use in being a full time moderator/admin on reddit without anybody paying attention.

 

[Daily Happenings]

None of them are insecure and have inferiority complexes. They don't need attention like these people do on their boring ass lives. Dems are not winning for at least 3 more elections. Their is NO WAY you could get someone to vote for them anymore.

All that has to happen is a massive recession, which is inevitable. At that point the average American will blame the group in power and accept any propaganda from the other side.

 

[Marty Robbins]

Turning down an 8 month paid vacation to spite Drumpft

 

[Sargon's wife's son]

used to hang out with this guy who worked for the US Department of Transportation he went to work 3 days a week and the other dayS he sat around playing RuneScape

 

[Wodanaz]

"How do you deal with your family knowing that you're a cocksucker?"

View attachment 6948410

A

>being a fed wasn't my first choice and it's not even enough to provide for myself and I find it highly objectionable that a bunch of SSNs were leaked
>but... the heckin orange man and the space man are being mean bullyjerks and it's making me sad that nobody cares about me being an unwilling, unhappy public """servant"""

redditors are so fucking retarded, it's preventing me from thinking up any creative insults


Anyone else mad at trump for no real reason when he asked if I'd like to be paid 8 months to quit?