Horrorcow Alexander Gordon Jahans / Alex Jahans / Gordon Jones / Farshnuke / Alasdair Jakes - Sweaty youtuber with anger issues, Cannibalism Enthusiast

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re toilet paper:

In his "Autistics Are The Superior Beings" video he explained he has something called Rhinotus or something else I don't give a shit about, which means he has a perpetually runny nose. he may actually use the toilet paper primarily to wipe his nose. Jahans has a weird deprecating sense of humor so he might have made the jacking off comment as a joke because how does someone with a testosterone deficiency shoot ropes so far he needs a 'landing strip"?

On the other hand, the only times he edits his videos is when he's reaching for the toilet paper...


FRESH JAHANS

I'd usually wait to see it for myself before double posting but there's no way this isn't a gold mine
 
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Expanding the Lore:

Edit: It's time to expand the thread considerably. Reason's being:
1. Massive amounts of fanfiction involving him LITERALLY EATING TINY WOMEN.
2. Family issues.
3. Him becoming even more of a monster after the internet initially found him.
4. Him describing his genitals as 2 tic tacs and a slightly larger tic tac, while at the same time becoming a hulking mass of testosterone injections.

Also, I think we should get on changing him over to a horrorcow.
 
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Barracuda Joe said:
Edit: It's time to expand the thread considerably. Reason's being:
Also, I think we should get on changing him over to a horrorcow.
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At this point he also needs his own lolcow wiki article. From what I understand (I'm still pretty new in regards to knowledge about this guy) he reveals so much about himself in these hour long videos he uploads everyday that its almost criminal to let that information not have a good home, and right now it sure as shit doesn't; the ED articles not been updated for months, /cow/'s thread is pretty good but was late to the party by a year and has all the coherence issues you'd expect from a chan board, and theres a Jahanspedia which is on par with Team Gamerfoods wiki page about Tyce and is mostly about the fictional Jahanist religion lore.
 
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RealDecepticonLeader said:
It's like looking at a bizarre mirror image of Chris that juiced himself up on hormones to try and be masculine instead of becoming a transtrender.
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That's the fucking thing dude. The internet warned him of a strange sexual-limbo of a genetic disease, but even with treatment his own degeneracy simply drove him to become a new frankenstein's monster of a testosterone-pumped nightmare.

Also, dude's dad draws porn. (allegedly, gonna need to check these facts).
 
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Barracuda Joe said:
Also, dude's dad draws porn. (allegedly, gonna need to check these facts).
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According to the Black Adam interview, his dad writes weird stories about himself walking around the countryside drinking and meeting women who are all idealised versions of his wife.

Also, for people who didn't watch the interview video, Jahans only writes about voring white girls. When asked why he never has not-white people, he said he wanted to keep it "pure."

Apparently only white people are kosher.
 
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RealDecepticonLeader said:
According to the Black Adam interview, his dad writes weird stories about himself walking around the countryside drinking and meeting women who are all idealised versions of his wife.

Also, for people who didn't watch the interview video, Jahans only writes about voring white girls. When asked why he never has not-white people, he said he wanted to keep it "pure."

Apparently only white people are kosher.
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Thanks for clarifying. I haven't found that jahanspedia, but I'll gather a few links to whatever maybe-kinda interesting pages I find.

Cow Board: http://206.223.147.218/cow/res/241661.html
Less than optimal ED article: https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Alexander_Jahans
More board stuff. An "ask jahans anything" theme: https://archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/86424692/

BIG.FUCKING.IMPORTANT.SOURCE: https://twitter.com/farshnuke?ref_src=twsrc^google|twcamp^serp|twgr^author

his twatter. Two big things.
-He's bending over and taking it for hamilton right now.
Blogspot post on it. A good thing to keep an eye on for more info maybe kinda:http://farsh-nuke.blogspot.com/2017/02/hamilton-and-return-of-capitalist.html?spref=fb

-It's a general update center for his armchair-political analyst style fuckery.
 
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Yeah, the interview's great. It's like three hours long, though, so you'll need a fair bit of time.
 
Barracuda Joe said:
Golden.
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It's now a /pol/ meme to make posts on medium and elsewhere claiming any random popular meme is secretly a Nazi symbol, so morons will fall for it and then randomly attack each other for being Nazis.

This idiot is exactly the kind of person to fall for this shit.

(Of course, the original "Pepe is a Nazi" meme was fake, too.)
 
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