Stephanie Cianfriglia / Sapphire Crimson Claw / Yarrow Brown / the-ghost-fucker / transmascdruid / anarchoenby77 / darktwistedpussy / Druid of Endicot - Xe/xyr ghost-fucker, womb wizard, hand sanitizer sommelier, trans-boomer, violently abuses her elderly parents, has sexual fantasies about raping children

[Spangled Drongo]

Surely she must know that you can just buy mead, right? Unless it's rare to find some in the US, I have no idea. I would love to see Staph actually get shitfaced on anything alcoholic. I doubt she's been genuinely drunk in her whole life.

I can't be bothered to go back and see if she's ever mentioned it but has she so much as watched Game of Thrones or read the Song of Ice and Fire books? That's like, the most basic-bitch you can go with fantasy since the show was hugely popular even outside of the usual nerd audience, and it also has genderspecials Bella Ramsey and Emma D'arcy plus lots of gratuitous sex so you'd think Staph would love it, though she only commented on whether or not there'd be mead at that bar since it fits her Viking LARP. IDK, the fact her only real fandoms of late have been serial killers and shitty bands is one of the weirdest aspects of her personality, she was online when fandom really started to get popular so you'd think she would've hopped right on that bandwagon.

 

[a hapless toad]

I can't be bothered to go back and see if she's ever mentioned it but has she so much as watched Game of Thrones or read the Song of Ice and Fire books? That's like, the most basic-bitch you can go with fantasy since the show was hugely popular even outside of the usual nerd audience, and it also has genderspecials Bella Ramsey and Emma D'arcy plus lots of gratuitous sex so you'd think Staph would love it, though she only commented on whether or not there'd be mead at that bar since it fits her Viking LARP. IDK, the fact her only real fandoms of late have been serial killers and shitty bands is one of the weirdest aspects of her personality, she was online when fandom really started to get popular so you'd think she would've hopped right on that bandwagon.

She doesn't seem to read fiction (other than shitty fanfiction about murderers and Loki) and she can't afford HBO streaming.

 

[Spangled Drongo]

She doesn't seem to read fiction (other than shitty fanfiction about murderers and Loki) and she can't afford HBO streaming.

No wonder she can't write for shit - any decent writer reads plenty of work from more accomplished authors or those they admire, it's like the first bit of advice any aspiring writer is given. I do remember her showing off her collection of Stephen King novels way back in her Sapphire days but I suppose that's no more especially if he's been cancelled for something he said/did that wasn't fully in line with woke doctrine (I do remember him trashing Rowling and supporting trannies unless I'm thinking of someone else)

And of course she's too trans-boomer to know how to pirate shows too - she still owns CDs and an old iPod I think.

 

[Aunt Carol]

She doesn't seem to read fiction (other than shitty fanfiction about murderers and Loki) and she can't afford HBO streaming.

If Stephanie were really grandma-core, she'd get into audiobooks of multi-book fantasy series. It's like having a friend in your house telling you about your other friends~~

And if she weren't fake-poor, she'd know about getting them from the library/library app downloads.

 

[Pee Your Pants]

Big cap dump from the last few days! I only capped the interesting stuff.


New pfp and header. What does she mean by 'Party like it's 1929'? Yeah, I know it's a subversion of the Prince lyric, but is she comparing current year to events in 1929?


Absolutely nothing like her.

She changed her pfp and header on her regular Mastodon:


I sent this to a kiwi pal and they asked if a kiwi had made it, because it looks like a piss take kiwi creation. It even has her frequently drawn uwu t-shirt! Compare it to the Blue Sky one - they look like completely different people. At least this one looks like it's going in the right direction - hair style, pube tache and weight wise.


'I'm not normally someone who always blames the ghosts' LOL, I think you are.


For context: Aaron from Ghost Adventures had a hit put on him by his wife. Staph, of course, wishes it was Zak. I wonder... if Zak dies before she does, will Staph will blame it on the powers of the cursed rock she sent him through the mail?




This blew my fucking mind. It became the topic of debate amongst my lurker friends. What is 'one thing of water'? A shot glass full? A teaspoon? An ice cube? A bowl? Going outside when it's raining and opening her mouth? She drinks 'one thing' of water a day, the rest is 2-3 bottles of tea, energy drink and soda. As a water drinking enthusiast, I was horrified. How is she even functioning? RIP Staph's kidneys.


She did the spell the day before the eclipse, so she can't take credit.


She didn't even read the headline... Just posted it.


Staph's version of 'In Minecraft.'


OK, and? What are you insinuating there?


Her photos of Siggy are taken so far away it makes Siggy looks like a painting.


Your fan fiction sucks.


At least when Peetie died, she stopped her retarded cat typing.


Lame.


Lolki watching TikToks over her shoulder lol. I'm sure she was watching it whilst laid on her couch, which is against a wall, so Lolki must have glitched into the couch.


'I'm from Jotunheim. They change genders a few times before breakfast' doesn't really go to the tune of Dead And Bloated, Staph.


I'm surprised she hasn't linked to it.


I think you mean Josef Fritzl, you true crime fan poser.


Is Staph saying she would cum if someone beat her with a 2 x 4? I like how she says to bring two, like one is bound to break.


Like father like daughter... Her mom took her dad to the ER because he stubbornly didn't drink 'one thing of water.'


Did she leave the house to hang out with these nameless trans friends, or was it all online? Lol at her now being down in the dumps over online transphobia. Bitch, turn off your computer. What's a spiked Baja blast?

 

[JaneThough]

I cannot believe she’s comparing this to Josef Fritzl. Both cases are horrific, but Fritzl had that extra of “raping, impregnating and resetting” he did to his daughter that takes it to a whole other level.

 

[AfghanBlue]

What's a spiked Baja blast?

I'd guess she's adding rum or vodka to her bullshit pop.
Much like Kevin gibes, it's not the grotesque, wannabe, incel irl but online sex-fiend, degenercy that gets me about Staph, but the sheer amount of plastic waste this holier than though so called Druid produces.

Papa Frigs turning up to the ER because too dumb to drink some water. Even if he wasn't just dehydrated, the fuck they gonna do for your flu? Aside form allow you to pass it around some? Retarded family through and through.
"SOMEBODY SERVICE ME!" The Cianfriglia family motto.

Its a good thing Siggy is always oil painted, suggesting a mega zoomed in shitty camera, confirming she doesn't cuddle with staph and get skin contact. Because apparently testosterone gel is potentially fatally toxic to cats livers.

There was some idiot pooner who put the notice out about it the other day after having to rush their cat to the vets
You know they will be more capable and can only be more hygienic than staph.
Thank fuck the cat won't touch her. However, she clearly doesn't clean around, and the bored cat has a habit of eating whatever so. It's a matter of when, I fear.

I was ready for Staph to make some implication that she had it just about as bad, a la parental abyoooos, as the person affected by the "American josef Fisk"

 

[it's pronounced gif]

She doesn't do anything. Why does she need an energy drink ever. Yeah I'll buy she feels 24/7 fatigue and has bad sleep and shit, but like, so what. What does she need energy to get up and do anyway instead of shitting herself and napping in it?

 

[squidward tentacles]

This blew my fucking mind. It became the topic of debate amongst my lurker friends. What is 'one thing of water'? A shot glass full? A teaspoon? An ice cube? A bowl? Going outside when it's raining and opening her mouth? She drinks 'one thing' of water a day, the rest is 2-3 bottles of tea, energy drink and soda. As a water drinking enthusiast, I was horrified. How is she even functioning? RIP Staph's kidneys.

My interpretation is that she's having one 'water item', and that 'water item' is either a can of seltzer (probably flavored), or a glass of water with flavor powder.

So she's actually drinking zero water, which is horrifying.

 

[often puzzled]

My interpretation is that she's having one 'water item', and that 'water item' is either a can of seltzer (probably flavored), or a glass of water with flavor powder.

So she's actually drinking zero water, which is horrifying.

That was my interpretation, too. Like you, I was impressed that "water item" actually seems to translate to "not actual water."

This blew my fucking mind. It became the topic of debate amongst my lurker friends. What is 'one thing of water'? A shot glass full? A teaspoon? An ice cube? A bowl? Going outside when it's raining and opening her mouth? She drinks 'one thing' of water a day, the rest is 2-3 bottles of tea, energy drink and soda. As a water drinking enthusiast, I was horrified. How is she even functioning? RIP Staph's kidneys.

Did she leave the house to hang out with these nameless trans friends, or was it all online? Lol at her now being down in the dumps over online transphobia. Bitch, turn off your computer. What's a spiked Baja blast?

Okay, so we've got: 2-3 bottles of tea (caffeinated), energy drink (very caffeinated), and soda (also caffeinated). Recall that she keeps complaining about A) acid reflux and B) not sleeping well. Too bad that these things are medical mysteries, huh?

I assume she's spiking the Baja Blast at home. I've never actually had one but associate it with Taco Bell. Endicott doesn't seem to have a Taco Bell, and you can buy the drink in cans, so I guess that's what she's doing?

Calories in the Taco Bell drink sizes:



Calories per 12 oz can:



Again, such a mystery why she's in poor health. And her dad should drink "a thing of water" and stay out of the ER.

 

[a hapless toad]

She didn't even read the headline... Just posted it.

Not all nations call it Worm Moon anyway. Media outlets have just latched on to whatever the Farmer's Almanac claims it's called because all Indians are the same or whatever.

We call it fishing moon.

I don't understand her obsession with this NORWEGIAN monument commemorating the first NORWEGIAN king, Harald the First (Harald Fairhair). She's descended from Swedes.

What's a spiked Baja blast?

https://www.hardmountaindew.com/flavors/baja-blast

 

[Opal Mermaid]

Stephanie is a fat poser and I would NOT be friends with her. 0/10.

 

[Aunt Carol]

She drinks 'one thing' of water a day, the rest is 2-3 bottles of tea, energy drink and soda. As a water drinking enthusiast, I was horrified. How is she even functioning?

Seconded; awful. That urine Stephanie is so proud to be incontinent of has to be as thick and dark as syrup.

Fridge horror: it's not 2-3 glasses of tea, it's bottles of tea. That she buys premade, because what kind of Druid Viking hedge witch herb-knower could ever brew xyr own tea?

Her photos of Siggy are taken so far away it makes Siggy looks like a painting.

I wonder if it's because Stephanie's too lazy to get up so she has to zoom, or Siggy dashes when she gets close.

I think you mean Josef Fritzl, you true crime fan poser.

Can we hope that her remembering his name as "Frisk" means she's finally becoming a real enby and getting into Undertale? Obviously she'd never play, but maybe she's orbiting the fandom.

Like father like daughter... Her mom took her dad to the ER because he stubbornly didn't drink 'one thing of water.'

To be fair to Dad Frigly, Stephanie is paraphrasing, probably from her mother explaining that the doctor told them that Dad was dehydrated. Older people have less functional reserve; it's easier to get dehydrated if you're 73 and sick and just don't feel thirsty, just want to hibernate.

Stephanie definitely doesn't have the right to make fun of him like that, considering her poor life skills and self-reported water intake.

https://www.hardmountaindew.com/flavors/baja-blast

You beat me but I have the "where to buy."


...hey, I just thought of a lore question.

New York State has a can/bottle deposit; you have to return your empties to get the deposit back. Stephanie almost exclusively drinks cans and bottles of liquid, but has neither bitched about the hassle of returning cans, nor bragged about leaving her bags of cans out for the homeless to redeem. (Or reported ants from the bags of cans waiting to go back.)

What does she do with her empty fancy soda cans?

 

[Meowzers]

What does she do with her empty fancy soda cans?

what is an empty can of sodie but another foot skin receptacle to put on your sacred devotional altar to your gods?

 

[moorhen]

What does she do with her empty fancy soda cans?

I bet she doesn’t even sort her recycling so they probably just go on top of her presumably overflowing trash can, since Papa Frig has been away and then sick so he hasn’t been cleaning up after her.

I also bet her apartment stinks right now.

 

[pink cigarettes]

You beat me but I have the "where to buy."

Yeah I knew it had to be a basic kiddy "hard soda" drink. No way she'd have an actual bottle of hard alcohol and be mixing drinks in her apartment. (Stephanie would have loved Boones Farm.)

It's for the best, I suppose. "FAS baby in clear cognitive decline turns full blown alcoholic when left on her own" would be too dark, even for me.

 

[Spangled Drongo]

I don't understand her obsession with this NORWEGIAN monument commemorating the first NORWEGIAN king, Harald the First (Harald Fairhair). She's descended from Swedes.

Remember how she wanted to go to Iceland? We haven't heard a word about that since it was first mentioned but she seems the sort to lump all Nordic countries together because Vikings. To be fair Google tells me the languages didn't really diverge until after the Viking age but I don't expect Staph to even care about that because she only seems to be into it for the sake of having an identity beyond basic white girl + a prettyboy imaginary husband she can project her sexual fantasies onto. I'd be surprised if she even knew Finns speak a different language completely unrelated to others in the region.

(I also doubt the Iceland trip will ever happen, but I wish it would, for the sake of Staph trying to flex her knowledge to the locals only to get absolutely roasted in typical American tourist fashion.)

 

[redbarchetta]

My mind is blown away at the cost of drinking so many bottled beverages per day, especially if she's waddling to the gas station and buying them as up-priced singles?

Though I wouldn't be surprised if her parents drop of cases of "water items" to try and keep her alive.

 

[Aunt Carol]

My mind is blown away at the cost of drinking so many bottled beverages per day, especially if she's waddling to the gas station and buying them as up-priced singles?

Though I wouldn't be surprised if her parents drop of cases of "water items" to try and keep her alive.

Stephanie is literally an illustration of the hated, often-rebutted, "latte factor."

On the one hand, it's irritating that she's doing this and availing herself of the local food bank. On the other hand, Stephanie's budgeting is the most authentically Poor (tm) aspect of her.

Tiny optimistic reading: I think "water items" included regular water, like from the toilet, with one of those flavor squirts/flavor powders. Then again, maybe that was bottled water too.

eta:

Locally, a lot of nonprofits have ongoing can drives. You can pick up an empty bag with barcode stickers on it, fill it at your leisure with empties (or take it to your office) and return the bag to an automated can return location, where the barcodes ensure that the deposits are credited to the charity. I'm not a huge soda fiend but my mother has demanded I give her any empties, ongoing, FOR THE KITTIES.

Even without a charity like that, well-meaning people will fill plastic bags with their empties and then leave them out on the curb for the bicycle hobos to collect, or wait until the Scouts have a can drive. It's a common method of collecting incremental donations; painless to the empathetic and reasonably-funded beverage enjoyer.

Who gets the cans, Stephanie?

 

[Polexia Aphrodisia]

My interpretation is that she's having one 'water item', and that 'water item' is either a can of seltzer (probably flavored), or a glass of water with flavor powder.

Seltzer water with nonsweetened flavoring (like Waterloo or Polar or stuff like that) is still water. I mean, it's not still, it's carbonated... but it's.... nevertheless water.

But someone whose palate can stand "spiked Baja Blast" is almost certainly incapable of drinking water that doesn't have plenty of sugar and/or aspartame in it, so I doubt she's into those. She's probably one of those people who snidely remarks that LaCroix tastes like "someone whispered watermelon in the other room," oblivious to the fact that they're outing themselves as sugar-addicted fatsos.