Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[AnOminous]

I feel like God has already written Nick off.

Nick: "I've got no intention of repenting any of my grave sins and want to keep doing them in the future."
God: "OK, you know you'll go to Hell and be tormented in the lake of fire for all eternity right?"
Nick: "Yeah...so we good?"
God: "Sure, you do you."

To quote Zappa: "Jesus thinks you're a jerk."

Remember, this faggot thinks Jesus is just some guy and that he's King David. Fucking loon.

 

[carl9987]

Picking up year-old grievances. Are we entering the post Aaron's dick era?
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Hey guys, I'm Nick Rekieta, your host from that thing you liked four years ago.
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seriously wtf is he talking about

 

[AnOminous]

seriously wtf is he talking about

He's seething about Eric July in an unfunny "cop at Denny's" level Nick "joke" that will make no sense at all to anyone who hasn't been following Balldo lore for years, and then reminding us of the time he and fellow con artist grifter Robert Barnes were completely wrong about Rittenhouse's trial.

 

[Sneed Force One]

Terrible non-sequitur bawling about successful black businessman and then a "haha my kids were taken by CPS haha" encore.

God forbid this man takes up a post at the comedy club.

 

[Je$ter]

They definitely do. I've seen dozens of bodycams on YT in which they do so. Depends on which side they're on.

@Strix454 pointed this out yesterday wrt Aaron. At that point - the first interview - Aaron supposedly had a clear conscience and nothing to be criminally charged with (pre-RP) in his mind. While it was a dumb move, he probably knew how the drug case was gonna go against Nick.

The cops didn't want Aaron to get in trouble with his own statements because he was a witness against NICK. That's who they were focused on.


I guess...? You and I have watched far too much STMS. This seems like Aaron hyperbole to me. He LOVED Bob up until about a month or two ago. I think he's just echoing what he reads here.

Bob and Celeste seem like typical affluent retirees, enjoying life and traveling. I reserve "space" for @Not Who You Think 's speculation that they may be boomer swingers, but if they are... they've hid it fairly well, unlike their son.

Ok some fair points were made. Just hard believing anything any of these people say. Aaron, his lawyer, Nick... They are all liars.

 

[Harm]

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Terrible non-sequitur bawling about successful black businessman and then a "haha my kids were taken by CPS haha" encore.

God forbid this man takes up a post at the comedy club.

I really hate how much he belabors his punchlines. It screams a lack of confidence in his comedic abilities when he has to keep drawing out the already obvious one-dimensional joke.

Not to mention, there's a distinction between a business with a customer-facing storefront and one without. We can't stroll up to a private office building and then pull a drunken Randy Marsh "I thought this was America!" act when hauled off. Besides, even customer-facing storefronts can trespass you, almost always without reason (and if a reason is needed, they can simply say "undesirable shopping habits" and refuse to elaborate).

 

[AnOminous]

I really hate how much he belabors his punchlines. It screams a lack of confidence in his comedic abilities when he has to keep drawing out the already obvious one-dimensional joke.

Other than people who hate his guts, though, most people won't have the foggiest idea what Balldo's "joke" is even supposed to mean. They'll just think he's a retarded, babbling crackhead spewing non sequitur gibberish. Which he is, but any audience he has now that isn't hate watchers will be completely bewildered by elliptical references to some racist jihad against a random black guy.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

View attachment 7103837

Terrible non-sequitur bawling about successful black businessman and then a "haha my kids were taken by CPS haha" encore.

God forbid this man takes up a post at the comedy club.

Nick needed to dust his puppet, so he gave his poppet dust.

 

[Captain Manning]

Ok some fair points were made. Just hard believing anything any of these people say. Aaron, his lawyer, Nick... They are all liars.

It's a good idea to take anything Aaron says with a grain of salt, but I figure he's been at least 50% truthful (being conservative) when Nick is 100% liar.

 

[A_right_horrorshow]

It's a good idea to take anything Aaron says with a grain of salt, but I figure he's been at least 50% truthful (being conservative) when Nick is 100% liar.

As my dear departed Irish granny would say
"Aaron is a bullshitter, some truth mixed with bullshit. Nick is a Gobshite. EVERYTHING that spews from his mouth is entirely shite"

 

[Not Who You Think]

I guess...? You and I have watched far too much STMS. This seems like Aaron hyperbole to me. He LOVED Bob up until about a month or two ago. I think he's just echoing what he reads here.

Bob and Celeste seem like typical affluent retirees, enjoying life and traveling. I reserve "space" for @Not Who You Think 's speculation that they may be boomer swingers, but if they are... they've hid it fairly well, unlike their son.

Aaron was much closer to Kayla's family than Nick's. Kayla's parents being from the area probably helped.

Aaron would see them at the kid's events and also at church that one time. They were also the ones reaching out to Aaron prior to the arrest. Kayla's stepfather, Dan, was Aaron's favorite.

From August 2024:

Concerning Bob, Aaron payed for dinner as thanks for looking after the kids while they... did their thing (although Kayla's parent's were also present too). The strongest connection seemed to be Aaron and Bob's taste in music, which they discussed before Bob yelled at Nick to do his taxes, but that anecdote spoke more to Nick and Bob's relationship than Aaron. In any case, Aaron was much closer to Kayla's family than Nick's.

Though the evidence around the senior Rekieta's being swingers is circumstantial, but still a red flag. Bob's name always seems to come up in the background, be it during a Hedonism II trip, close association with "attractive" Canadians Robin and Larissa, or running cover for the qover (link to post), it is a pattern that helps explain how things got so bad on Bob and Celeste's watch. Then there's this old post that poses the possibility of a "fuck shack" owned by Celeste and claims that the area (Orlando-St. Pete-Villages) "essentially forms Florida's Old/Gay/Gross triangle." None of this is a good look.

As it stands, Bob and Celeste are failures both as parents and as grandparents. The chances of these "typical affluent retirees, enjoying life and traveling" (as you call them) learning from their mistakes are about the same as Nick.

 

[Watching Rekieta]

If the police ever ask you if you want an attorney, they are indirectly telling you that you absolutely need an attorney because they consider you a suspect and are conducting a hostile interrogation which they intend to use against you criminally. The police only ask that question to cover themselves constitutional rights-wise should you say something that they specifically want to use against YOU in a criminal proceeding.

Not Aaron. They did the opposite. They gave Aaron all the warnings trying to imply he was in a shitload of trouble. He wasn't. His lawyer was right. But the technique worked. Aaron flipped at the first sign of trouble. They played him using a giant bluff and even today Aaron thinks they are the mafia and he dodged a bullet. They scared him into being a witness.

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

Edit to Add: He's spoken to God, and they're "good".

If Nick's talked to God it's 100% a son of sam situation and his family is in danger

This really irks me, and it bothers me that Nick can still bebother me, but his take on God and religion is absolutely unmoored from reality and heretical.

Skelly is basically Ahab, though Kayla is too dumb and slatternly to be a Jezebel.

Switch settings to Melville and it makes sense, Nick as Ahab is chasing his white whale... The jokes write themselves.

That trial coverage annoyed me because Nick was clearly trashing Rittenhouse's lawyer because they got rid of Robert Barnes. Knowing Nick's track record Kyle would be sitting in a cell block the rest of his life following Nick's advice.

But he would have totally PWNED THE LIBTARDS! Jail tats are totally COOL and all he has to do all day is exercise, so he could get RIPPED, then take his revenge!

"King Solomon turned to Baal worship and had 500 wives and concubines, so God says I can keep having fun, nerd incel prude."

Autism: 700 wives and 300 concubines, per Kings.

Has Rekieta publicly commented on Aaron getting the plea deal of the century?

He has to stop punching himself in the head to do so, and he has not yet exhausted himself.

 

[Vibralldo]

I really hate how much he belabors his punchlines. It screams a lack of confidence in his comedic abilities when he has to keep drawing out the already obvious one-dimensional joke.

Not to mention, there's a distinction between a business with a customer-facing storefront and one without. We can't stroll up to a private office building and then pull a drunken Randy Marsh "I thought this was America!" act when hauled off. Besides, even customer-facing storefronts can trespass you, almost always without reason (and if a reason is needed, they can simply say "undesirable shopping habits" and refuse to elaborate).

I remember when Nick was pretending to be impartial with Eric and "give advice", but he was clearly trying to manipulate him on Juju's behalf. It didn't work and Nick seethed the next day.

 

[not william stenchever]

but his take on God and religion is absolutely unmoored from reality and heretical.

His religious takes are so shitty it makes atheists and agnostics think that maybe burning heretics at the stake wasn't so bad after all.

 

[Maraschino]

Also, a lawyer would never tell you to just go in and tell the cops the truth. No... Lawyers tell you to NEVER speak to the cops under any circumstance.

If the police ever ask you if you want an attorney, they are indirectly telling you that you absolutely need an attorney because they consider you a suspect and are conducting a hostile interrogation which they intend to use against you criminally. The police only ask that question to cover themselves constitutional rights-wise should you say something that they specifically want to use against YOU in a criminal proceeding.

Just remember Nick waived his right to remain silent and to have an attorney speak on his behalf not just once, but twice.

I think he's waiting for it to become official.

Which, honestly, we probably should too. This thing could fall apart in the 11th hour.

I want a full acquittal, a la Total Toe Triumph. I don't even want Nick to be able to claim Aaron did a plea deal "because of obvious guilt", because he's a faggot and I want him to suffah.

 

[Captain Manning]

Nick is literal proof that God is dead.

Disagree. I believe Nick is proof that God is very much alive, he's not happy with Nick, and he's willing to keep punishing Nick in increasingly hilarious ways.

No joke, I was praying with @John Andrews Stan and @Himedall All-seeing Waifu last week, asking that Aaron's case be dismissed because it would be so funny and would further punish Nick for his sins.

Well, we're not getting that. Instead we're getting something funnier than that. A product of an intelligence and sense of humor much greater than my own.

I should have expected nothing less from the same deity that gave us the Platypus.



God is alive. Have faith in him.

But as this is not a theological thread, I'll just leave it at that.

I want a full acquittal, a la Total Toe Triumph. I don't even want Nick to be able to claim Aaron did a plea deal "because of obvious guilt", because he's a faggot and I want him to suffah.

$50.

Also, who gives a shit about Nick's legal opinions? They're worthless.

 

[Melty Butter]

Two small Nick-related updates from the MAPton universe. (Again, I only word-search Nick in transcripts; I can't watch him further.)

Paddy did a St. Paddy's show today.

1. At 3:42 he says Nick will be streaming again soon (that word again). This morning Nick contacted Patrick about installing the weird Supertips system that Melton uses with the voices. Melton told Nick that he must stream bc he looks like a loser with the Aaron deal.

2. At 3:18:46 Melton reads a (Signal?) DM that Aaron supposedly sent to Nick after the hot tub stream. The content was about Aaron being mad at Nick for out-alpha-ing him during the hot tub stream. Aaron was upset that Nick didn't laugh at his jokes. It sounded to me like Melton was reading what Nick told him as opposed to seeing the actual DM from Aaron. Regardless, Melton was definitely reading from his phone something that Nick sent him. Melton said that Nick had NOT given him permission to read the DM but he did so anyway.

Edit to Add: Aaron's streaming now. He went over some of the local coverage of his case, including a pic attribution to Stallyn19 who has been doing quality clipping.



ETA: Aaron just said that April's charges were initially dropped because she "sang like a canary" about all of the drugs in the polycule. He said Nick made efforts to have that witness statement thrown out over issues with Miranda rights. (Show's still going on. I estimate he said it around 40 min ago.)

 

[Brian Oblivion]

Nick is like the #1 alpha male within the subculture of guys who let other guys fuck their wives, that's the thing that nerds and prude weirdos like us can't understand.

 

[AltisticRight]

Picking up year-old grievances. Are we entering the post Aaron's dick era?
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What is this retarded skelly babbling on about now? Eric July is a successful businessman, him and Juju are in the gutters of the Sektur. Ethan Ralph is arguably more successful and entertaining than this duo of useless faggots.

His religious takes are so shitty it makes atheists and agnostics think that maybe burning heretics at the stake wasn't so bad after all.

Isn't it funny and weird that heretics were sizzled alive? It's like a cop ordering a pizza from a Dennys', you don't know what the oven temperature is!

Also, who gives a shit about Nick's legal opinions? They're worthless.

So they're worth 0 KNU.