Fanfiction Horrors

Chandelier · Mar 10, 2025

You ever wanted kids in a nice cottage by a stream? Wait no more. Your RETVRN fantasy is here.

Good to know that the same people who, in one side of their mouth, rage on and on about how oppressive the nuclear family is go right back to their RETVRN fantasy when they think the cissies aren't looking. These are always the most female-brained things imaginable, and it is something to read people who likely hate their parents gush on about the trials and tribulations of parenthood. All they're missing is the daisy printed dress.

I am glad that the transmasc author knows what a midwife is; she hasn't change the language for that field, yet. And I wonder how this small village in bum fuck nowhere managed to get morphine and modern baby formula. Viktor cannot breastfeed in this because he got his tits chopped off, so formula it is.

We'll call a 'man' who gave birth a husband, but we'll call a midwife a midwife...OK.

> Recent lack of taking testosterone
Oh I do wonder how they're going to synthesize it in their cottage next to a stream. Are they going to make it in a chemistry kit in the bathroom? I'm guessing the Arcane doesn't have syringes on hand.
> Neither of them could really say why they chose this, other than it felt right at the time
You chose to have heterosexual sex and this was the result. Shocker that gender identity doesn't erase basic human reproduction patterns.

It's that Hispanic heritage. Mutt genes will always win out.

Since we're talking about genetics here...I'm guessing we're glossing over the fact that this was only possible because Viktor was a genetic female? You can only pass on your genetics through reproduction, and to achieve that you need sperm and an egg. Anything to avoid calling Viktor a female, I guess.

How long has Viktor gone without eating? I know he's high on morphine but still. You need those calories back.

> Viktor's voice was soothing to children
I wonder why that is - and why the task of childcare seems to be 'unique' to him.

Flower crowns! Very manly! Now, if this sounds like that one fic where they ended up in a frontier town in Noxus...you'd be right. It is coincidental but a lot of the plot themes are the same, especially with the tradwife fantasy. All we're missing are the flowers entwined in Viktor's braid.

There are legal documents in this bumfuck nowhere place? That would suggest a courthouse. They are near a town, but the town is never described - hell, we're not even sure if they're in the same universe.
> I do value my full bodily autonomy
Funny how this has to be stated to the male character.
> Viktor isn't jealous of the baby, necessarily
Oh fuck no. We do NOT need a Casey Anthony character.
> It's just that Viktor was still learning to communicate his own wants and needs
Weird, I thought that since transmen were men, their word was taken as a given? That they being men, they should never need to explain anything at all? Curious how it's always FTMs that need to make this clear; that THEIR bodily autonomy matters and THEIR voices need to be heard. Sounds very...feminine, doesn't it?

> The baby has two fathers, after all
No. Only one is the genetic father, the other is the mother, because only females gestate. The author can try to weasel her way out of this with the gender shit, but only women have fantasies of writing about raising big families by nice cottages. It's a female-coded fic with a uniquely female attribute. Men don't give a damn about this.
> It's not exactly something he begrudges Viktor for, but that doesn't mean he doesn't miss the physical intimacy
Leave it to the male character being upset that he isn't getting his dick sucked.
> Feels the faintest hint of stubble beneath his lips
He has been on T for years, and he can only get the whisper of hair that teenage boys get. Sad!

> Insist that the nuclear family is wrong in your personal politics
> Write the most traditional, conservative family known to man
Just pooner things. All you're missing is the golden lab.

Jeez. Why does Viktor have to worry about being cold when all the hair meant to go to his face goes to his legs and crotch instead? Boy is hiding a whole ass carpet down there.
> A rosy pink tease
Women really need to stop comparing their anatomy to flowers. It's weird, bro. This insistence on calling Viktor's female anatomy male anatomy is useless since this is a pregnancy fic. We know who the female is.

> He's an adult man
No, he's an adult woman.
>It's so patchy
Glue some of your pubes onto your face - you have more than enough to compensate. You can look like Gary in Team America.

* Very first time
> But he does have his biases
Such as?
> Take on regular clients as a blacksmith and Viktor will tutor villagers
Yep, this sounds like that one Noxus fic that was deleted. All we're missing is the big Karlach cameo.

Imagine trying to live a new life and the first thing you do is act like a human shitbull because you think people might be attracted to your 'husband'. Dark and vicious is right; easily jealous men are dangerous. That's how you end up getting beaten and murdered.

"My mom probably thinks I'm dead, but I'm out here living the good life" does NOT endear this character to me. You're more or less spitting on her memory with this tone deaf line, though I don't expect much from an autistic transmasc. You should at least mourn her loss, because her son is away in another part of the world fucking a woman pretending to be a man and siring kids she'll never know or love as her grandchildren. How petty can you be?
> Jayce, once regarded as a hero, would likely be seen as complicit. The aforementioned marriage and honest life, well.
I'll say. Nothing like being a 'Defender of Tomorrow' than throwing it all away for a RETVRN lifestyle.

Oh look, a subtle abortion reference. And if you 'weren't expected to live to have any'...why did you have hetero upsetero sex?
> They decide to mostly ignore them and think about what that means
Then you shouldn't act shocked when the obvious comes, because you decided to ignore the doctor just 'cuz.

"Would you still love a child if it was a worm?"

And he can't grow facial hair LMAO. All he gets instead is a Tarzan bush fire.

> I don't deserve this
That's right, you don't, but everything can be fixed with the tradwife life. RETVRN and restore the empire.
> The accidental casualty of his rage
This makes it seem that the daughter was conceived during an act of violence. Is Jayce a rapist now?
> Jayce deserves death
> It's truly not about deserving
Pick one.

> Appealing to Viktor's sense of justice
This isn't justice, that's an appeal to emotion. That's appealing to, dare we say, his feminine instincts to protect his children over his actions. Big difference.
> Jayce has always been better at embracing
Oh wow, the transmasc still kept the 'the disabled man has no humanity' trope. Wew, lad, don't you know that's a hate crime?

> I'm already wounded that the child I carried for nine months said your name first
A child's first love is its mother...though in this case it may be because it doesn't know who the fuck 'dad' is in this case, even though babies instinctively know who their mother is. Misgendered by a baby, go figure.
> What a beautiful little family he has
RETVRN to tradition

> We haven't exactly been subtle, but we've been so remote
Their cabin has electricity and they go to a town for morphine and baby formula. It's not that remote.

Annnnd look at that. Caitlyn discovers where he is thanks to spotting a guy who looks exactly like him buying baby formula. Should've invested in a hoodie, Jayce. You're clearly NOT in the middle of nowhere if you can get clocked like that, especially three years after the fact. Of course their mark on the city isn't permanent; it wasn't permanent in the show either.

Glad you have electricity despite allegedly 'living off the grid'. I didn't see no solar panels mentioned.
> I do think it was partially deserved, or fully deserved
"Yeah I abandoned my friends and mother to fuck a pooner and raise perfect children. I deserve this, fuck you."
> I wish he would be more selfish now and then
You want a little boy to be more selfish? Careful what you wish for.
> V did most of the hard work on that
Yeah, because he's a woman. Only women give birth.

> Unexpectedly expecting another
Amazing what heterosexual sex can do. You can reproduce just like your parents, great grandparents, and all of your ancestors did. We're totally transcending gender, bro.

$50 bucks on this pooner ranting about how bad the nuclear family is on her Twitter, while writing the daisy dress tradwife fantasy away from the cissies. Not all of us are dumb, dear. We can see both sides of your mouth flapping.

This was a gift fic for another fic I reviewed, the one with the teleporting semen. The OG has a sequel I mean to cover, but this grabbed my attention first.

As you can see, this is a reference to another fic that got rather popular. It's based on the premise that a Hextech gem powered sex toy - a fleshlight, in this case - is connected to Viktor's vagina, so when Jayce fucks it with his Hispanic Hog, it's like he's actually having sex with Viktor. Not a bad concept, as far as dirty concepts go. Rather ingenious.

Always gotta bring up that size difference! But thank God there was no 'fingers meeting in the middle' this time. I really need to make a bingo sheet for that.

> Poor boy
Sure thing, Jan. I will say that the dialogue is good. Flows naturally and the sex talk is pretty solid.

Yes, that was in fruitly's original fic: Jayce thought it was a toy for Viktor to use; he hadn't had a clue that Viktor was trans and actually outed him while fucking it. Viktor drops all transphobia accusations when he sees that big dick, and all is well.

> Do you think you could see my womb?
Unless you open the cervix, then no. And while there is cervical stimulation in this, it doesn't fully open. So no, you are not going to see the inside of the uterus.
> Or maybe one in his cunt and one in his ass
Oh wow, double dicking for both of them. Quite a concept!

> The physical manifestation of the enormity of his feelings for Jayce
IIRC, this hog was 6.5 inches, but made up for it in girth. I might be wrong, but let's say he's bigger. 'Enormity' here is very literal.
> The sight of his pussy being so open is novel
You were already gaped before. This is just being viewed in the mirror. It shouldn't be THAT new.
> With how large he is, it is difficult for Viktor to really clench around him
They've had sex multiple times, and with proper arousal, you'd be very surprised at what the vagina can do. I bet you he 'fluttered' a lot in the OG fic.
> No one needs to be this enormous
These fics would not be as popular without the Hispanic Hog.

> A small pink ring of muscle that winks open from an invisible force pressing against it
And it's still not going to open, because you usually have to physically pry it apart - which many women have said is painful without medication. Excruciatingly painful.
> So full that it is a wonder there is any space for his organs
Your vagina can stretch; the organs can move. The belly bulge is proof of that.
> Reduced to just a hole for Jayce to use for his pleasure
Funny how all these fics come back to this point, eh?

> Trying hard to return to it normal state, and unable to with how stretched out he had been
It's a muscle. It's not going to be 'made loose'. It's designed to push babies out. Give it time and it'll be fine. This 'fucked loose' stuff is the byproduct of porn.
> The cum leaking of his cunt off
His what did what?
> Few practiced rubs of Viktor's cock
We know it ain't nothing compared to Coke can dick over here, c'mon.

He was lifted into the air to change position? Who knew they were playing Helicopter this whole time!

This one was written during a fever while the author also ate Panera bread soup.

That sentence could be cut and it would make no difference overall.
> His cock twitches
Hoo boy that ain't nothing compared to what Jayce has.

> It's still a surprise how big Jayce is, everywhere
You know what they say about men with big hands. That 4D:2D ratio ain't lying.

What air is he fucking? Is he just thrusting or is it just hanging there?
> He can't close his hand all the way around it
Is he that big, or are Viktor's hands that small? You decide.
> Palming his slick cock
Mm, compared to Jayce, there's not much to palm there, bucko.

> He likes this, feeling hunted, desired and trapped by a man who could break the furniture they're sitting in
So...your basic female fantasy of getting dominated by a big man with a bigger cock. OK.
> About a man twice his size
Literally, in this case. Jayce is always so much bigger when Viktor is an FTM, and that's unintentional or deliberate. It only makes the clocking so much easier.
> Even if his cock is shoved down his throat
And boy, that's quite a feat.

How can he speak if his mouth is still full?
> I would like you to hold me down and come down my throat
Hope you don't have a gag reflex, because you're getting an express delivery.

> He let himself be used by Jayce doing his damndest to treat him gently and still splitting him open
So your typical female fantasy. You cannot prove otherwise.

He takes the Hispanic Hog like a champ and swallows down all that white delight. Fun!

All in all, not bad. It's not the worst I've read, and it's short. You can almost forget the trans element of it. Not exactly a palate cleanser or something to sour it. It gets the job done and it's over.

That knight AU has a new updated chapter and I'll cover that later.

Tri-Tachyon'sClown said:
View attachment 7068256

Sometimes the tags are better than the fics. I once saw a fic that had 'Rectum? Damn near killed him' and I laughed. Had to bookmark it because I can appreciate authors that are a little cheeky.

Tri-Tachyon'sClown · Mar 11, 2025

Chandelier said:
Sometimes the tags are better than the fics. I once saw a fic that had 'Rectum? Damn near killed him' and I laughed. Had to bookmark it because I can appreciate authors that are a little cheeky.

I do like when people have fun with the tags. It's a lot of garbage but you occasionally get a good one. Speaking of which, was it this one?

Fucking lol these tags.
Source (A)

Chandelier · Mar 11, 2025

Here is the second chapter of that rewritten knight AU. This time, it seems the fic will not be four chapters as planned, but much longer. This is the chapter where the main characters bang in the woods.

> Afternoon breeze
> Setting sun
Girl is going the Michael Bay route of having the sun set and rise every 15 minutes. The time could not have passed THAT quickly.
> I believe you have learned to ride at your home castle, have you not?
He did and he didn't. The author can't remember. First, we read that he only rode the slow, tame horses, before the author said he never rode at at because 'that's not what royals do'. It changes based on the need, I guess.

Only the slow ones. And much like the original fic, you will see 'grounded' a lot, because Viktor here is as air headed as a balloon, and will sway with the breeze as easily as he sways for that knightly dick.

> Felt like something he had longed for without realizing it
That's love, baby.
> His own body responded, warmth blossoming within him, a deep, stirring desire he could no longer deny
You'll see a lot of this, too. But it is more common and upfront than it was in the last, so there is some improvement there.

> They were simply together, riding into the wind, as if time itself had stopped for them alone
This line existed in the original, but it's been edited to be the only iteration of it vs it being said twice.
> His hand grabbed his hips. His finger pressing into the skin until he could get a hold of his hip bones.
Rather grabby for a knight, eh? I wouldn't feel pleasure at that; I'd be wondering what he was doing. But hey, if you've got a big dick I guess you really can get pooners to do whatever you want.
> He read about the male organ and pleasure
But not your own anatomy, because that didn't exist yet. All of it was centered on males - and notice how he never includes his own genitalia, despite that allegedly being 'male' too. They support trans identities but don't have accurate sex ed books, imagine that.
> By the feel of it Ser Talis was well endowed too
IIRC he's around 10-12 inches, same as the original, and yes there's a belly bulge. That'll likely pop up when the smut scene happens.

> Never a source of admiration
Yet you keep saying he is a source of admiration. This back-and-forth monologue about whether or not the knight is hot is very...female brained, one might say.

Yep, there's that grounding again.

> If he hadn't insisted on straying from the escort, if he had acted like a proper noble
IIRC, Jayce had been the one to suggest it, not Viktor. So really, it's Jayce's fault this happened - and all to his benefit, because now he's alone with a virgin prince(ess) that he can use at his leisure (and mold into the shape of his cock). And look at that! It's the grounding, again!

> The words stole Viktor's breath. Did he truly see him that way?
He already called you beautiful once and you had the same reaction.
> Laced with something Viktor couldn't quite name
Lust. He wants to split you in half on his cock
> You look like a king
And with a flower crown, how manly!
> His heart already promised to somebody else
No, your body is, not your heart. This is a political arrangement. I am still wondering how the fuck this works when Viktor, a trans man, is expected to 'do his duty' when he's getting married to another woman. I'm still betting on Jayce knocking him up and passing off the baby as his.

> If I were a king, I'd marry you in an instant
This makes me think same-sex marriage is legal in this Medieval AU, which doesn't make much sense, because why do you need all the political arrangements and need to 'continue the line' when you can just marry your same-sex lover? Where does the trans shit come in? Is it a workaround to this? The author doesn't answer.
> Lock you in the highest tower. Never let you leave. You'll be mine, and mine alone, forever
That's creepy as fuck. Of course, Viktor is so turned on by this idea because a hot guy is saying it. If it looked like the CEO from Smiling Friends, people would think Jayce is a rapist-in-waiting.

> As thought he hadn't had a proper meal in days
You haven't. You've been traveling for a full day without rest, and no one stopped to eat. So yeah, a big ass fight will do that to you.
> The knight must have been starving
> Like a starving man
Pretty fucking obvious, don't you think?

This scene was in the original, but it has added dialogue along with the flower crown dialogue, which is new. Jayce didn't say he'd lock Viktor in a tower forever in the original; they have this scene and then go right to fucking.

> Before my mother gave birth to me
Did she assume you were going to be a son, or was the intent to give away a daughter pretending to be a son to impregnate another woman who doesn't know her prince is actually a princess? Is everyone in on this, or are they just lying about it?
> Why marry a woman you've never seen, never loved, never desired?
Politics. I'm wondering how the fuck a royal family will accept a trans man as a prince when he doesn't have the parts to BE one.
> Not listening to my parents, not fulfilling my destiny would be an immense disrespect! This is my duty, my burden to bear!
What destiny? What duty? You cannot sire children as you are not male. You can only gestate them. Is Seraphine OK with being cucked by an actual dick haver or...?

> His eyes betraying the burden he carried, the weight of expectations
Such as? You're a prince who can't impregnate. They can accept same-sex marriage and trans men but they still have to stick with these medieval marriage structures? You can only stick with one.
> This was bad. Very bad. But who could blame him
"Lemme betray my principles because my pussy gets wet." Damn, the accusations of not taking accountability still ring strong.
> I want you to be my first
AKA he wants a real man to take his virginity, not an icky woman.

> Like he'd been caught committing treason
Technically, you are committing treason, because you're having sex with a knight, not a fellow royal, and you're giving away your virginity to boot. Others have been killed for less.

Here we go: the forest sex scene. And yes, it keeps the strangulation sentence structure that you saw in the original and in queercatfan's works. That was never changed.

> And Viktor let him, deliberately giving him his body, his mind
> Not really grasping the meaning of Ser Talis' words. He trusted him
When that pussy gets going, it's hard to be rational. Especially when it wants to be fed a 12 inch dick. Can you blame the pooner?
> His small hard cock
That's definitely literal, especially when it can't even reach the size of Jayce's glans. Sad!
> You sound better than the most talented birds on this earth
FFS, she kept this line. It was cringey then, it's cringey now.

> Ser Talis fingers, touching his pubic hair, his folds, spreading them
This still reads weird. "He touches his pubic hair, then his folds, spreading them" works far better.
> Circle Viktor's small cock
> In and out of his hole
If you can use the tags 'squirting and vaginal ejaculation' you can use vagina. It's not a bad word.
> He was close. To whatever came after he reached the top of this mountain
??? Sounds nice but it doesn't make a lick of sense.
> Ser Talis stared at his naked body, taking in every inch of it
Commas really do make a difference.
> He was even afraid to let his mother see
You mean show her your female body? Does dysphoria exist in this realm, or is it just a passing fad because troons can marry 'cis' people? I don't think this will ever be answered.

> He dove down in between his legs, hungrily licking up the juices dripping out of Viktor's cunt
> Flicking against his cock
And when Jayce's comes out, it's a 'real, hard cock', vs that itty bitty clit. Makes you wonder: if both organs are totally the same, why is Jayce's 'real', and Viktor's isn't?
> Thrusting his tongue into his entrance, lapping up the juices like his life depended on it
There. That's better. It's still a repetition of the earlier sentence but whatever.
> His cock was growing even bigger
Uh, which one?

> Feeling the tip of the cock pulse against his own
This is supposed to be 'frottage', but that is supposed to include two actual dicks. There is no testosterone in this Medieval AU, so that's just an engorged clit. It's nowhere near as big as Jayce's dorsal head.
> Growing and twitching with interest
Which one? Jayce's, or Viktor's?
> Mid again
Mid what?
> He let himself be kissed by the knight again, feeling the head from his body and the warm campfire
Commas are your friend.
> A particular hard shove and the tip of his cock caught on the rim of Viktor's cunt, slipping inside
So much for being gentle.
> Viktor could feel something break in him, like a faint ethereal strip that kept him up in the air for his whole noble life
Don't know if this is metaphorical or if the author is referring to the hymen, but hymens don't work that way. They're stretchy membranes that can be broken by exercise. If it is metaphorical, yeah I can see why you'd 'snap' when this is your first, best and only experience of dick. Dicks really do make the world go round.

> He was not only taking his virginity, but his whole being
Imagine the consequences if he got found out. Imagine said consequences being a pregnancy you can't hide.
> Viktor had never felt so full, so complete
> And then he started to fuck him, a hard and eager pace, the sound of skin slapping on skin filling the clearing
>A mix and pain and pleasure
You still can't escape this cliché, eh?
> The knight grabbed his hips to fuck him deeper, fully inside his body now
> He could actually feel the tip of his cock whenever he pushed it all the way inside
And you really want to compare your clit to that? Homie he's carving you out like the Mona Lisa from Squid Game.

> Feeling the cock throb through the skin of his belly
Seraphine really doesn't know what she's in for, is she?
> The knight turned him around on all fours like an animal
This was in the original fic, and the sentence structure is the same. The queercatfan curse continues unabated.
> He needed to be filled by his cum, he needed to be claimed, just for this night before he was married off to some woman
You don't even have the parts to 'claim' the woman in turn. Leave it to the big dicked knight to reduce this to a fic about fucking a big dicked knight.
> He stroked his cock one more time
Uh, whose?
> The prince could feel the impressive amount of cum flowing out of him
Better get used to it, because this Jayce does not have a refractory period, and he ejaculates twice when they fuck in the tavern. My man is a breeding bull; might as well grab a bucket and sell that shit to a sperm bank.

Most of the smut scene remained the same, except a few lines were changed or removed. The 'fucked in the shape of his dick' was thankfully taken out; that remains an inside joke for me. However, there might be more cringeworthy lines in the future, so I'll have to wait for an update. The deepthroating scene is next.

This one was based on the author's own art, and has plenty of PTSD to boot. Author admitted she never proofread this and it shows.

There seems to be a trend where they hang out in a quaint village and Viktor ends up becoming popular with kids. Weird how the trans man is expected to be good with kids and take on the labour of childcare and domesticity

> It was the guilt, guilt ate the man alive
Oh trust me, something else is going to eat you alive, too.

She was not joking about not proofreading this. Some authors are so lazy they don't even bother to re-read their work. It appears they only save that for uni.
> Jayce didn't need sex, but after a while he was getting a bit pent up
So he needs sex. He's acting like a typical male denied a 'natural urge'. Typical.
> He didn't want to come off too strong, he didn't want to seem pushy
> But it was bugging him
So that was a lie.

> In a while, and that's totally fine!
1. You sound like a woman and 2. No, it clearly isn't fine because you want sex and are 'getting pent up'. Might as well come out with it. Of course the trans man feels pressured to perform.

> He would never get over how small Viktor's waist was. The tips of his fingers could almost meet in the middle
Add that to the tip jar. I am fucking rich at this point.

Mm yes, trans men and their dainty hands. You can never tell!
> Dragging their tongues against each other and panting into the other's mouth
So. Like a dog.

> Mmm Jayce
He sounds like the Homer Simpson bottle opener. Same tempo and everything.

Gotta love how the author couldn't capitalize her 'I's most of the time and forgot the difference between 'spared' and 'sparred'.

> His opening
> His tight wet hole
I am once again tapping the sign: if you can use the tags 'vaginal sex', you can use vagina.
> I'm gonna cum. Ohmygod dont stop
Very manly. Very sexy.

> Mmm please fuck me
Wow, I can really taste the desperation, vs them sounding like they're drunk as hell.

> Sight of his big dark cock hovering over the plane of Viktor's contrasting pale stomach was making his brain hazy
So he's turning into a red velvet cupcake. OK.
> It had been so long he almost forgot how fucking huge Jayce is
We betting on 12 or 13 inches?
> While slamming his cock into him
I wonder if this girl puts more effort into her art vs her writing. This isn't even funny. mango loco, by contrast, was fucking WILD.

> His mind was too fucked empty
So was the author's. Half the time I can't understand what the hell she's saying.
> Ohmygod I'm gonna cum
*Insert Trump meme here*
> Let his hot cum coat his insides, filling the man full to the brim
Redundant. Also, can we get a measurement per volume on that?

Wait, is Viktor topping Jayce or is Jayce topping Viktor? Who's cumming in whom?
> He may have destroyed all of it for nothing
Joke's on you, both of you died for nothing. But you did get a huge ass fandom who will write shit like this. But hey! The VAs are on your side, right? Right.

Tri-Tachyon'sClown said:
I do like when people have fun with the tags. It's a lot of garbage but you occasionally get a good one. Speaking of which, was it this one?
View attachment 7079279
View attachment 7079284
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Fucking lol these tags.
Source (A)

Yep! That's the one. The tags are sometimes the best part because of how goddamn wild they are. The entertainment is endless. I plan on giving that one a whirl once it's finished, but will only do summaries based on how big it is. One I'm looking at now is done by Marcus Skeen, a musician who got his white ass overshadowed by bbno$ despite writing and performing an entire EP. I'd say poor lad, but he still had that tone deaf speech in his work so he can get fucked.

soft breathing · Mar 12, 2025

If there's one thing I didn't need a mental image of, it's Meatcanyon as a catboy in heat. Really. I felt better 5 seconds ago.

Dr. Arinsu · Mar 12, 2025

soft breathing said:
View attachment 7082990

If there's one thing I didn't need a mental image of, it's Meatcanyon as a catboy in heat. Really. I felt better 5 seconds ago.

The worst part is that it was an anon that asked for it.

Chandelier · Mar 12, 2025

I've reviewed MGCraig's works before - and she's aware of her being posted here - and here is another installment on top of her armpit sniffing fic. It seems that works she writes for others are not as good as those she writes for herself, and generally enter the 'yeah OK, I can believe it' to 'What the fuck is this' lickety split. Author also has an issue where she, like, writes like this, like, and um yeah, metaphorically and literally and um? Like? Yeah?

That's a misnomer because it isn't even a dick - it's a 12 inch olive-toned strap. You're welcome.

Get ready for 50 Shades of Maroon here.
> He owns a strap, obviously, but he designed that himself, and it was kind of a necessity more than a nice-to-have
AKA the pooner has a complex over not having a real penis, and so makes a monster cock that matches their skin tone so they can be 'more comfortable' in their own skin. Why is it a necessity? So as not to kill themselves, of course! Trans men are men...they just need the biggest bits of silicone to feel better about themselves.
> Once past the relentless onslaught of puberty - twice, to be sure
She's referencing the 'second puberty' troons often love saying they get, even when T injections are not puberty. You are just fucking up your endocrine system. You already had your first puberty in utero, your second was during your teenage years. There are no more.
> Viktor is kind of a fucking pervert
As he usually is in Craig's fics. While the honesty is appreciated, it does get eye-rollingly repetitive after a while. Still better than the uwu soft trans boi shit I've covered, but only by a bit.

> They still fuck ill-advisedly in the lab sometimes
I wonder what they use for that. It's just lesbian sex with a different label.
> Jayce's unfamiliarity with all the things Viktor is into is a source of humour for Viktor in opposition to the mild neuroticism it riles in Jayce
Notable how neuroticism seems to be the de-facto trait for FTMs. In any case, I have to wonder why Jayce is so ignorant to 'all the kinks' Viktor is into when he just so happened to make a skin tone matching strap on a whim. You don't do those on a whim. You plan them out.
> Jayce can't recall any other times Viktor's been the naive one, though
Has he watched Mr. Hands? We'll see who is naive then.

> House Talis red
Um excuse me it's maroon you uncultured swine

> Jayce imagines this is what removing a corset is like
Corsets don't involve bolts and aren't tied that tight. Corsets would be easier, all things considered.

> Like he's seen in thinly veiled fetish advertisements
I thought he was so naive he didn't know what fetishes or kinks Viktor was into, now he's watching adverts involving those things?

Which is it?
> When Jayce already has no trouble overpowering him without it
I'd believe this if he was a man. Since they are both pooners, Jayce doesn't even have the grip strength to outmatch DJ Spit from Smiling Friends. He'd get knocked over by a gust of wind.
> He's able to hold Viktor's wrists in one hand
Ah, glad we still have one aspect of the uwu so smol trans thing. Average female wrist size is one inch smaller than men's, so Jayce's wrists would be smaller by default.

> Wraps his full hand around Viktor's thigh
Not hard to do when he's got muscle atrophy.
> Grabs his strap
Which matches his skin tone! Convenient!

> Jayce can't blame the size of his strap on Viktor's perversions. Jayce sized it that way before he even met Viktor
Because he has a size complex. He just so happened to make it 12 inches too, meaning it's the same size as Monster Can Energy Jayce.
> He could have sized a new one to better match Viktor's delicate frame, but he didn't
Of course not. Viktor's always been a size queen. Too bad it isn't a real dick.
> It takes a new hour of prep to get it in his ass
Oh? I thought Viktor was an Accomplished Slut TM. You mean to tell me his anal virginity is still intact?
> He pulls off the strap and leaves its olive skin-toned surface shiny with saliva
> Jayce technically can't feel it breaching his throat
So what's the point? You can't feel it, because it isn't a real penis, and you just have your partner choke on it for the sake of deepthroating. At least with male Jayce it's an actual dick and you can feel the changes. This is just a hard bit of silicone; I'm wondering if it is even capable of bending to get all the way down Viktor's throat.
> And that translates to feeling it like, metaphorically or something
Except, like, you can't feel it metaphorically, because it's made of silicone and not actually attached to your body via nerves because, like, you don't actually have a dick, bro. Of course Viktor is going to have trouble swallowing it, because, like, it's an unbendable bit of silicone.

> Until Jayce can feel it distending his delicate throat through his skin
So does the strap bend or not? Does it remain fully hard? How is it physically possible unless Viktor changed position? At least a real penis has flexibility.
> Now he's absolutely certain he can feel it, metaphorically or otherwise
Which is a nice way of saying you don't. How do you feel a blowjob 'metaphorically'? Must've missed the Freud passage talking about that. And no, you there is no 'otherwise', because it isn't, like, a real penis bro.
> Always look so pretty with my cock in your throat like this
Too bad you can't feel it whatsoever, not even, like, metaphorically.

> Jayce can feel it in his own cock
Funny how that roid clit can't even compare to the 12 inch slab of silicone you made, all because you had a bit of size dysphoria compared to actual men. If your roid clit is a cock, why not penetrate with that? Oh, right: because, like, it isn't a real penis, bro.
> He's hard in his trousers and leaking pre-cum
What pre-cum? That's vaginal ejaculate, not semen.
> Gonna come down your throat
You are physically incapable of doing that. You might as well buy a can of whipped cream and do it instead.
> He pushes through and Jayce's cock bottoms out in his throat and Jayce comes
> Push deeper still into Viktor's mouth
He's already bottomed out. I'm surprised he doesn't become a reverse Pinocchio with how far that strap is going down.
> Like Jayce really did full his throat with cum
You didn't. You literally have to pretend you did otherwise you'll have a mental breakdown.
> By the time I'm done with you, um.
Um uhhh yeah uhhhh ummm - are you cosplaying as Justin Trudeau? Very manly, compared to the 'I am going to fuck you and do XYZ.' Even her trans men can't even commit to the bit.

> He knows Viktor is flexible enough for this, because he's manhandled him into similar holds before
Glad the disabled man with screws in his back can bend like that. The landwhales writing him could never.
> Inappropriately sized the strap is for Viktor - the tip nearly reaches his belly button
So 11-12 inches. He's already taken it before, so what's the issue? The true issue is that Jayce made it before he met Viktor because he was jealous of actual males with their swinging bits. Sorry (not) that nature is such a TERF to you.

> He has so much blood diverted to his groin that he thinks he would pass out if he were standing up
While blood does engorge female genitalia during arousal, he doesn't actually have a 12 inch penis, so this wouldn't happen. You don't have the parts for that much blood to be diverted. Rather, you should look at the T fucking up your heart.
> Damp pubic hair
There's the Rapunzel pubes we know and love!

> House Talis red rope
It's MAROON, you swine!
> His cock is swollen and flushed above the shiny folds of his pretty, pink pussy. Jayce is pretty sure he can see it throb
You are looking at 1-2 inches of growth outside of an Amazon jungle. Impressive that you can even see it at all.
> Jayce's pretty sure his eyes go shiny with tears
> Rather than concern, Jayce feels his heart - and cock - tie up with honeyed condescenion
So why are you crying, then? Cluster B traits sneaking through, again?
> Whether or not that is technically true is beside the point
The fuck? It IS true - you were just crying yourself! This was fucking betaed and the bitch wants to play the philosophical bit. We can determine if it's true or not from your own goddamn writing. Like? We can read?
>Hard little cock
Little indeed, compared to 12 inches of silicone.
> Viktor's pussy is framed in red rope, labia spread open
Funny how labia is fine, but clit or vagina is not. Labia is not a gender neutral term, Craig, you know that.

> Exposed asshole
Hm, is it covered in hair too or was he spared the ass bush that so many pooners get?

No matter how many times you write it, those roid clits aren't penises. I know this is tiresome by now, but don't call it one when even flesh-coloured silicone makes it look pathetically small.

> Not like Jayce hasn't been able to treat him like a cock sleeve in the past
Funny how the disabled 'man' and pooner are always treated like that. Something something emasculating disabled men something something...but it's OK when we do it.
> In all ways but in actuality, he can feel Viktor clenching up on him tight enough to bruise
Has the same vibe as, 'In all ways except physical, I am a wolf'.

> Stop thinking so hard and come on my cock like the empty-headed cock sleeve you're begging to be treated like
Gonna add this to my repertoire of 'shit fanficcers say'. There's a trend here where FTMs want to be treated like cock sleeves by penis owners - though in this case, it's a slice of silicone because the owner kept feeling emasculated compared to real men. Skill issue.
> Viktor doesn't sob again, but his eyes overfill with those burgeoning, glassy tears
So he's sobbing. Just say he is - and you later write that he is, so that defeats the point. Talk about redundant.

All this talk about swollen cocks and throbbing cocks and they're just talking about roid clits. I am curious as to how said roid clit is 'stretched out' above his vagina because you only get 1-2 inches with those. Is he stretching it like a Chinese finger puppet, or something?

Look at that. Scissoring! But it isn't lesbianism because these are True and Honest Men! They're grinding their cocks together so it's totally gay...even when one of them made that strap so they wouldn't commit to the 41%.
> Slipping his fat growth inside Viktor's fucked open cunt
Once again, we're talking barely 2 inches of growth here. Viktor has been 'speared open' by a 12 inch strap-on. Do you really think he is going to feel something that isn't even half the size of his pinky? Do you really think penetration is going to be that easy?
> Jayce wants to tuck into the feeling of fucking him forever
Yeah, that's not going to happen. You don't have the growth for that, you don't have the girth for that. You were only able to get this far because of that massive strap-on. If your fingers can do the job your 'cock' can't, you have a problem.

Hmm, you gonna try phalloplasty next? Haven't read a Frankendong from Dom Triggers Are Activated yet.

And yes, that's Rekki, the one who got stuck in Vancouver Intl and wrote that poorly written fic while half-asleep. She also does work for capyshota and the one who wrote that long-ass one where they fuck in a barn. True and Honest Gay Men helping each other out in, um, writing adventures and, like, metaphorically and shit.

Obsession isn't just the name of a perfume. It's a whole ass lifestyle. By far the most PG-13 NSFW work I've read so far.

By that time, you ARE closer to fall than spring. Later on they go to a highschool, which means it would be LATE summer, not MID summer.
> Viktor was every bit of Jayce's
Every bit of what?
> Concepts led to research, which led from longing to something more official
You already wrote they were a pairing.
> Viktor was dying as a result of his chronic illness
You already wrote this.
> Jayce was dying because of Viktor's lack of care
This is just hyperbole. He's not dying of anything.

> Something spurred between science and boyfriendism
Interesting term, there. Too bad one of you isn't actually a boy.
> I doubt you could survive a day as a councilor
And there's the plot. Viktor gets to find out Jayce's day job like it's 'take your kid to work day.'

> The words Jayce spoke went in one ear and out the other
I get he's tired, but Viktor doesn't seem the type of person to let this go by easily, especially if it's a dare. That fucker is going to absolutely take it seriously for the sake of winning.

> He was intrigued by the subject of their discussions with Demacia
> Classism, inequality, recklessness on behalf of the leaders
...which is exactly what is happening in Zaun. Did the author forget that was literally the original point of the show? Class conflict between the two cities? Why is Viktor acting shocked over something that happens all the time on his home turf?

> These folks purchased important product and upsold the general public
AKA scalping. Something he should be 100% familiar with in Zaun, but apparently isn't because uhhhh what the fuck is his culture lmao
> Completely lose in experiencing this Councilor Talis
Why? You wanted to tag along and see what he was like. He should know politics is exhausting and brutal thanks to the Chem-barons in Zaun. He's not that ignorant on social affairs.

OK, this was cute. I like NPC interactions when they're written well.

> He knew it was important, because he thought it held the same importance
"It was important because it was important"
> He could imagine the feeling of Jayce's hands on him, the cold surface of the table, the acoustics in a space this large
Surprisingly, the author doesn't actually go full NSFW. It's actually rather flowery the way she does it.

I'd like to see him do that, jump on him like a rabid raccoon. "Local cripple jumps councilor to engage in penile fight." Definitely a UK aesthetic.

> Viktor threw Jayce's jacket near the door
He's still wearing it.
> Viktor pushed Jayce to sit down on the bed
> Pushing Jayce onto the bed
He did this twice.

What? Did he come in his pants or something? I am confused.

> Jayce was the only person who'd ever made Viktor aware of the fact that there was beauty beyond his flaws
Cute. And oddly fluffy? This is one fluffy smut fic.

Yeah, this is the smut: a very poetic allegory for sex, without including sex. A far cry from Monster Cans and olive-toned strap-ons. Colour me surprised.

This definitely shouldn't be rated Explicit; it deserves the Mature rating because nothing explicit actually happens. I was actually surprised to see no actual sex here. I went in expecting a horror and found something poetic instead? In fact, this can be read as a gender neutral fic because no words for genitalia are used.

Wow. Like I said, I legit thought this would be a horror and it isn't. You may consider this a palate cleanser because it's actually soft all things considering. It's the least toxic, least pornographic thing I've read.

Now, the next fic I'll be looking at is the exact opposite - and it's a long one, too.

soft breathing said:
View attachment 7082990

If there's one thing I didn't need a mental image of, it's Meatcanyon as a catboy in heat. Really. I felt better 5 seconds ago.

Before Dream got his face doxxed people obsessed over him. The Dream SMP had over 100k fics and was part of the RPF trend, something others have pointed out as weird (I just think there's a line to be drawn between real people and a bunch of pixels). The video blogging RPF has a considerable fanbase and whatever kinks you read for fictional pairings just sounds weird as fuck for these guys. Imagine Wendigoon doing a dramatic reading of the shit these weird autistic pooners write of him. My man would need a full exorcism.

Catboi · Mar 12, 2025

soft breathing said:
View attachment 7082990

If there's one thing I didn't need a mental image of, it's Meatcanyon as a catboy in heat. Really. I felt better 5 seconds ago.

I had no idea MeatCanyon was now considered that level of cringe youtuber.

Paper Machete · Mar 13, 2025

I wish I could be surprised and confused as to why someone would write about MeatCanyon being a yaoiz. But I've been rubbernecking fandom for too long. But still, MeatCanyon? lol lmao

soft breathing · Mar 13, 2025

Chandelier said:
something others have pointed out as weird (I just think there's a line to be drawn between real people and a bunch of pixels).

Let me just throw this in: Ryan & Shane from Ghost Files. That's all.

I'm honestly not too bothered by real people fanfics in theory, but as soon as this shit starts bleeding into real life aka bringing lewd gay art of real people to panels at conventions and having them sign it or something, it makes me uncomfortable and crosses a line. The stuff just existing online? Meh, I guess?

But I'm neither famous nor will anyone ever write a fanfic about me, so I can't really judge.

Chandelier said:
Imagine Wendigoon doing a dramatic reading of the shit these weird autistic pooners write of him.

I mean, ngl, I'd watch a full episode of Meatcanyon reading gay shipping fanfics to Wendigoon for shits and giggles.

Catboi said:
I had no idea MeatCanyon was now considered that level of cringe youtuber.

People will ship everything and turn it cringe even if it isn't. I don't think it's an actual representation of anything or anyone, really.

Catboi · Mar 13, 2025

soft breathing said:
People will ship everything and turn it cringe even if it isn't. I don't think it's an actual representation of anything or anyone, really.

I meant moreso the type of fandom/fan that he attracts

Chandelier · Mar 14, 2025

The tags on this alone were enough to give me a heart attack. They take up half the page.

This is the third or fourth fic that has featured a full-blown metoidioplasty; if you haven't seen what they look like, you can hop over on the SRS thread. They are roid clits enlarged and detached from the clitoral hood, giving them around 4 inches in length, or the size of a micropenis in men. It's usually considered the 'safer option' compared to a full blown phalloplasty, but they still look weird. It should also be mentioned that urinary incontinence is a problem with FTMs and their surgeries, though I doubt the author makes the connection here.

> But no progress felt so much more productive than no progress alone
So...no progress, even with an additional scientist. How is that productive at all, and why write this when it doesn't even make sense?

Look at that. Already the pooner is literally drooling at the sight of the muscular male she wants to pound her pussy. You can never convince me that these are not your basic straight fics with the tags rearranged, because there is no escaping that female socialization. We get it: you want the sexy Hispanic inventor/pool boy/whatever to rearrange your guts. Just admit it and be done with it - well, it WOULD be possible if you weren't literal warthogs.
> Viktor got jealous
Name a time when he isn't.

> When he followed Jayce's gaze down to his crotch
You're trying to work towards a breakthrough and all you can think about is dick. And yes, the next 2000 or so words is focused on Viktor wetting his underwear and changing his clothes. I am not joking.
> In case I get science on me
Which is...? I bet it isn't hydrochloric acid.

> He had begun fantasizing about those large, adept, forge-calloused hands
And I guaran-fucking-tee there will be a scene about how those hands 'meet in the middle' of Viktor's uwu smol waist.
> He realized he did feel quite a bit slicker than even very 'wet' dreams usually rendered him
And what kind of boxers is he given? Silk ones! Which will only make it worse!
> Of course, the much more important thing was Jayce apparently thought he had wet himself
That's all they talk about for the next few screenshot. I'm not joking. The author thinks wasting time on her barely-disguised piss fetish is great story-telling. Even GRRM had Dany shitting herself for ONE sentence.

> The cold had made them stand out purple
Yeah, nothing like zippertit scars looking fucking purple because of poorly healed scar tissue, but you're a real Man's man, homie.
> Growing up, it seemed to others I was a girl. Puberty gave me breasts, but I knew I was a young man
Based on what? Internal feeling? Tell me, what does 'feeling like a man' entail? These gender specials can never answer without it devolving into circular logic.

We discover that Jayce is always the ardent trans-ally, always saying the right things and always willing to learn, and doesn't even freak out when he finds out his lab partner has a vagina and not a penis, because he's a True and Honest Man. If one thing is true, it's that Viktor really is the pervert here, because he thinks more about Jayce's dick than Jayce thinks about his vagina.

Also, you pissing yourself isn't just due to your deteriorating spinal column. It's the urethral lengthening. Half of FTMs have urinary incontinence issues. Whoopsie.

> Who am I to say no if he wants me wet and horny in his pants and underwear
All this to say you're horny and you want to get fucked. Other authors just dive right into it and somehow manage to get character development between the fucking. This is just a lecture coupled with the politics of the writer.
> His scarred and twisted wreck of a body
Out of all the issues he fixed, he went for the tit chop and the T injections first. What's interesting to note is that the author writes, in one sentence, that Zaun is more sexually liberated, yet Piltover had all the surgeons and hormones to make him a 'real man'.

Of course! Tell Jayce he needs to 'read up more' on trans issues despite Piltover being sexually proper and whatnot while ALSO having all the tomes on trans history, figures and surgeries because that fucker just needs to learn!

> Unwilling to push his counterpart into a conversation he may not want to have
You already did. Jayce knows Viktor is trans; he knows he has a vagina and asked about the scars. He never once brought it up until Viktor told him he 'wet himself' and it wasn't urine. This BPD style personality change happens a LOT in these fics. If you don't want your partner to ask, tell them you don't want to talk about it! Telling him to 'read more' when you say in another breath you're willing to answer any questions is just bitchy behaviour.
> Made his way behind the counter, preparing to change
Weren't you already at the counter, and already taking your shirt off?

> Obviously self lubricating, but only when it's a bother, evidently
You're lucky the T didn't turn it into sandpaper yet. These T vaginas are always squirting and wet as waterslides, even when most IRL FTMs have such nasty problems the benefits of T die out after a few months.
> Hear the soft squelch
Clearly, it wasn't a 'small patch'. Did you dive into a swimming pool?

> Jayce was built like an ancient tree and Viktor was twiggy at best
And you could still probably clock him from that Q angle.
> Picturing how tight they would be on Jayce, however, was a mistake
This boy really does have dick on the brain. Any bets on how big Jayce is in this? 10 inches? 12? 3 inches across? Let's so with 12.

> Jayce had just learned Viktor had anatomy he was familiar with and deeply enjoyed
So he likes vagina, but he's a gay man, because you become gay once the vagina owner identifies as a man, apparently.
> Viktor would already be bent over a desk if the other guy were interested
That's a far cry from earlier, where you were talking about Jayce's reaction to you having female genitalia. Do these random guys have the same questions, or are fine because it's easy pussy? I bet it's the latter.

>Not to mention how easily Jayce had lifted him
You're about 90 lbs soaking wet. He probably has greater difficulty lifting a basket of laundry.
> Those warm sure hands threaded the leather through each belt loop with a sureness that could only come from practice
> Whose belt have you been doing and undoing, Jayce?
Uh, his own? He wears belts all the time? Even without knowing his sexual history (as it turns out, he is, indeed, bisexual), most men know how to use belts. What a stupid question.

> He was mentally mapping the contour of his pecs
> Oh that is so not fair
Oh that so does not sound feminine at all! Like, totally!
> I'm not - I have
What he means to say is that he has a vagina, even though Jayce already knows and is fine with it, and that he doesn't 'have the parts' that he wants, despite Jayce not having an issue with it.

> Oxytocin pupillary
Yes, she's using scientific terms here to make herself sound fancier, when she doesn't know the first thing about metoidioplasties and urinary incontinence associated with them.
> You just found out I have a vagina and now you look drunk on the idea of being with me
He's known for a while, and he knew about it beforehand, hence the questions, so why are you acting as if he just found out? He knows you're trans and that you have a pussy. What is the big deal?
> Functionally unmoved by his satellite
...Buddy, this WOULD MAKE YOU HIS SATELLITE. What the fuck are you orbiting if you aren't a planet yourself?!
> I always thought it meant something different to me than to Jayce
Oh, so NOW we're debating what definitions and internal feelings are, eh? Nice.

> I mean you're literally so aroused by men you needed to change clothes and we can't explore that?
To be fair, Jayce DOES sound pushy here - but Viktor needs to stop acting as if these feelings are brand spanking new. Both of them are aroused, Jayce knows what he is, he knows his underwear isn't wet because of piss. C'mon man.
> You need a hobby, or a pet. Maybe some friends besides me
Oh, wow, what a way to show you're an asshole, Jayce.
> That doesn't exactly sound healthy, Viktor
I'll say. I thought Viktor was bragging about fucking random students earlier. Where's all that fire now?

> I'm a cripple with no real prior experience at friendship -
The author has a trigger warning for this term, even though she's used it more than necessary. No one is more ableist than disabled people themselves.
> How is he so damn pretty when he cries? Focus. Jayce scolded himself for even thinking that at a time like this
I'll say. Your partner is having a heart-to-heart, and all you can think about is fucking him? Shallow as shit.
> You found out I have a vagina and that I am interested in you and now you're either desperately horny or delusional!
1. He already knows you are trans. You have established this. 2. Both of you are horny and delusional; remember, you started this first because you couldn't stop staring at Jayce's crotch. The problem is coming from inside the house.

> Your anatomy, while intriguing, is not the object of my affect. You are
That is sweet, but he just has a 4 inch detached clitoris. They're like floppy Tootsie pops - bizarre and a poor mimicry of the real thing.
> I never believe a man who says he loves me while his cock is stiff
Well, at least we know Viktor has done the tried and true route of the pooner being used as easy pussy. So much for being so proud and confident in his sexual self.
> Whoever took advantage of Viktor with feigned devotion deserves to choke on their lying tongues
Hey, earlier Viktor was bragging about banging random students. Now he's saying they only used him as easy meat. Funny how that happens to FTM characters all the time, while MTFs will feel no shame about it and beg for more.

> Maybe it's not really the vagina or my transness at all
He already told you that, and now he's showing you his personal drawings where he waxes poetic about you smiling (twice) and took care in drawing your own zippertit scars. This man knew you weren't a man for years. And yes, it took this fucking long to get to this point because most of it was focused on Viktor's wet underwear.

> Viktor had to tip his face up to kiss Jayce
...Just how small is trans Viktor in this? 5'0? Because he should be at eye level with him easily.
> I'm really kissing Jayce, my lab partner, my business partner, my best friend
Congrats, and you sound exactly like a teenage girl saying that.

> The cripple
I see she's still using that term, despite telling us how ableist it is to use it.
> So his large palm pressed against the warmth and wetness of his cunt through the silk
Annnnnnnnd we're definitely getting that 'hands meet in the middle' thing.
> Too large on Viktor's waifish figure
Made even smaller given the fact he's female.
> He expected to find a clitoris and was delightfully surprised to find something thicker, longer, and harder than any clit he had ever encountered before
Right, so a metoidioplasty is just a clit cut out from its hood, extended, and enlarged with T. Most of them don't even reach 4 inches - some only reach 4.6 cm. That's barely an inch. You are talking about something that isn't even larger than their pinky. 'Small' doesn't even BEGIN to cover it.
> Handle me a bit more like a cock than a clit
More like a microcock, because it really IS one.

> Have you handled cocks besides your own before?
As it turns out - he has, and from being sexually assaulted in a gym locker room. Fun! Of course, Jayce is the Hispanic Hog and it's obvious who is going to win in this fleshy fencing competition.

This whole part is dedicated to the smut, so buckle up.

> Sent a new twitch to Vik's cock
Reminder, this is only 0.6 cm larger than a roid clit. It only looks like a penis because they 'beefed' it up with additional tissue. Yes, they can get 'erect' as a clitoris can, but penetration is next to impossible because of how small it is.

> He had no idea how exactly such a cock could be constructed from the anatomy he'd been born with
Oh, believe me, you DO NOT want to see that unless you have a strong stomach. They basically slice the clitoris from its hood, stretch it out, take ligaments from the surrounding area and insert the urethra in it. Crazy shit.
> It felt satisfying and comfortable in his mouth, unlike some of the cocks he had choked on and fought to accommodate in his throat
Yeah, because he's 4.6 centimetres. Not inches. Centimetres.
> Undeniably more reminiscent of that going down on unaltered assigned female anatomy
Yeah, that anatomy isn't 'assigned', it's programmed by 7-8 weeks in utero. Before that we have a cloaca.
> The glans felt impossible smooth and pliant
Because it's basically loose tissue.
> Nose tickled by Viktor's coarse bush
Always with the Tarzan pubes.
> Since the waif of a man was busy marveling at Jayce's hands that were practically enveloping his bony ass
Yes, the uwu smol trans boi is just a doll in the 'cis' man's arms. Rather cute, don't you think?

> Worked him over like a man starved
This cliché, again?
> Throws
This was beta read, and the beta reader didn't catch 'throws' when it should be 'throes'.
> Given Jayce's devout half dozen years of practice at giving the best head to the many sexy people he had seen
Yeah, and Viktor would be the smallest out of all of them. Sad!
> His thumb and first finger nearly meeting where they wrapped around him
Muscle atrophy is sexy, yo.
> Swallowed some of the precum
Yeah, that's not cum, buddy. That's piss.

> Cocklet
Indeed, especially when Jayce's entire tongue is larger than it.
> The crippled
She's still using it as an adjective despite saying how bad it is, lol. Pick one. Either it's degrading or it isn't.

Viktor is out here complaining about Jayce focusing on his genitalia, while he's been laser focused on Jayce's huge dick fitting inside him. Rules for thee but not for me, eh?
> Death by Councilor's cock has a certain poetry to it
I am also adding that to my repertoire of 'shit fanficcers say'. Jayce is out here saying how cute and comfortable Viktor's 'dick' is, and Viktor wonders if he'll even survive on Jayce's, and you want to say they're equal? LMAO

She's still calling Viktor the 'disabled scientist', as if his only worth is that, as much as she wants to insist that 4.6 cm neophallus is an actual dick. But hey, we got the HNNNNNNGG heart attack meme!

You may be wondering: with all these check-ins and consent, where does this 'CNC' come from? Get ready for the twist.

> Dusty rose cock
Sounds like a brand new Axe spray.
> Such that just the head was near Viktor's own cock
The head of Jayce's penis is going to be larger than your neophallus. Talk about a size difference.
> Pale expanse
> Pale torso
These ladies sure do love white skin. Pale male supremacy all the way.

> Tip slip slightly into the still slick slit
That's a nice alliteration there.
> Jayce was big, but Viktor wasn't too worried about fitting him now
Well, at least there was some excellent foreplay. Still betting on him being 11-12 inches.
> Fuck fuck shit fuck fuck fuck
Me when I burn my pancakes
> Laryngeal prominence
She's referring to the Adam's apple here, which Viktor does not have.

Also, another beta mistake: she mistook 'busied' for 'bussied'. Boy pussy really is on the mind.

> pale right shoulder
We love our pale skin, don't we folks?
> The cripple
Man, so much for being receptive to the struggles of disabled people!

I have to say, for a smut fic as long as this is, the smut itself is rather muted. Yeah, we READ that Jayce's dick is big, but we don't actually see it - compare that to mango loco, where everything was so graphic is turned from serious to hilarious (that is the GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT fic).
> Viktor was trying to keep his erection for him, which is hot as hell, he had to admit
I'm more impressed by Jayce's refractory period and his fortitude over having his dick clamped down by that vagina. Sometimes, a man can actually get stuck, and Jayce really does seem like he's stuck.

> Already feeling his over sensitive dick filling back to where it was or harder
Fascinating refractory period. It hasn't even been five minutes! Trans pussy really is amazing.
> I'm not corrupting him. He offered.
> Of course, my unattainable best friend was the perfect match for my debauched desires this whole time
So you aren't corrupting him. Do you really think a trans man can be corrupted any more than they actually are?

I'm more surprised at the fact that Viktor's slender hand is able to encircle Jayce's neck and choke him like that. Is this where the CNC comes from? That's supposed to refer to so-called rape play, not choking. That's a separate kink.
> Viktor twined his right arm around the strong arms holding him up to reach his own cock
Don't you mean through? Because there is a gap between where he's holding you. Are you twisting your arm AROUND his shoulders to reach that neophallus? What kind of position is this?
> Made a small ring out of his thumb and first finger (she means forefinger) around his cocklet and began to pump himself
4.6 cm. That's how much he's 'pumping'.

Why does Jayce sound like a pig here?
> His cock slowly deflated
OK, now I'm thinking of a deflating balloon.

Yes, they are having a mental breakdown over sex they mutually agreed upon. Why? Cluster B, that's why.

In which our dear lads have a talk, cry about their emotions, and have a change in personality faster than a Florida Man on bathsalts.

Oh, for fuck's sake. You already had this talk. The answer is: Jayce doesn't CARE, he loves you for what you are. Take the deal and run with it!

If you haven't noticed, these characters' personalities change on a dime. It's hard to even tell who the fuck these people are, they are all over the place. Viktor goes from being slutty and seductive to wringing his hands like a naughty schoolgirl, and Jayce goes from loving being choked the fuck out to begging Viktor not to leave him.
> I've not had much experience with people who I could trust with my emotions
Remember when Jayce got mad that people took advantage of Viktor? Pepperidge Farm remembers. The author and her beta sure didn't.

> Before I spiral
Yep, this is definitely a diary entry from the author, who is a piece of work herself.
> My body can find just about anything to object to
You sure didn't object to that dick HEYO
> That's not fair!
Stop acting like a fucking teenager. You are an adult. You made these decisions. Deal with them.
> A short-cumming
AHAHAHAH GET IT IT'S A SEX JOKE

> I was the largest dick they had worked with
> Average metoidioplasty is barely larger than a roid clit
Wew, lad.
> Did you really ask me minutes into fooling around if I had ever handled a cock besides my own?
It was a fair question. I'm more surprised Jayce didn't look at that wannabe dick and didn't start laughing. Any actual gay man would.
> If I had said no, would you have wondered if I wasn't attracted to you as a man?
Man meaning what? Stereotypes?
> I do not care how you're attracted to me
You had a mental breakdown not five minutes ago. Clearly you care.

> I have always been into men
Actual men with actual dicks, you mean.
> More than a Medarda
This woman merely exists and always sends these snow-white pooners into an absolute race war. Forget Rwanda - Arcane is the new Hutu-Tutsi war.
> I think I realized I had already fallen when the fact you noticed my scars made me horny
Oh? What happened to all the 'how did he know I was trans?' comments?

Viktor getting excited he can fuck Jayce with his strap when his own neophallus isn't even big enough to do the job sure is something, huh?

18k for this, most of it focused on Viktor pissing himself and throwing BPD tantrums after he has consensual sex. The inconsistency drives me up the wall. And the smut wasn't even that good. Funny how Viktor got more antsy about Jayce questioning his genitalia when he couldn't keep his eyes off his.

Ma'am, your vagina is dry due to testosterone. As for the spinal issues...what's your BMI?

soft breathing said:
Let me just throw this in: Ryan & Shane from Ghost Files. That's all.

I'm honestly not too bothered by real people fanfics in theory, but as soon as this shit starts bleeding into real life aka bringing lewd gay art of real people to panels at conventions and having them sign it or something, it makes me uncomfortable and crosses a line. The stuff just existing online? Meh, I guess?

This happened with the Green Arrow fandom: people were going after the actor and his wife because they wanted his character to be with Felicity Smoak. Another example are shippers pairing Jensen Ackles and Jared Padelicki, to the point they made an episode about it and where Ackles openly said he hated shippers because of the shit they were harassing him with - and that was the Destiel stuff. They were mocking his IRL wife at the time.

Chandelier · Mar 15, 2025

If you've been in the SJW art thread, you'll notice I posted an artist there by the name of escyn, whose lumpy, ugly sketches led to her putting the vulva in the wrong position (she also drew Sokka as a full blown nigger, so there's that, too), along with broken bones and generally ugly positions. This author, unavailable to non AO3 users, wrote a fic based on her art. The author considers this 'porn poetry'. Let's see if she lives up to that.

> Behold a god
> Deific
Redundant.
> Kneeling, Viktor is just as loomingly large. Just as lovely. So extraordinarily beautiful.
You already wrote that. And yes, this is the astral plane projection, so he can change size at will.
> Prismatic fractals
Redundant. 'Fractals' works just as well.

> Cradled gently
> Carefully handled
Same thing.
> Its shivering starlight between channels of shadow
NGL, I liked this. There are some cool lines in this.

This scene was based on escyn's fanart, where Jayce goes down on a very enlarged clit that still only manages to come out to the size of a normal penis. This takes place in the astral realm, where physical attributes can be changed on a whim, so I am not sure why the author decided to keep the 'traditional' genitalia here instead of making it a changeable, amorphous thing. We're to believe that Viktor's astral vagina is so huge it's literally like a giant clam, swallowing Jayce up. As to how big it exactly IS...that depends on what scene you're reading.

So, Viktor is supposed to be a 'godly' size, but has shrunk down enough so that he can do this with Jayce, but the roid clit is now big enough to function as an actual dick...yeah, I am as confused as you are. When the author writes 'his whole pussy kisses him' she means it. It's big enough to act as a giant finger puppet.

> It's so big compared to him
And inconsistent in size. The neo-clit is large enough to act as a neo-phallus, reaching the cervix, but can't act as an actual penis despite this being a realm where anything possible is an...interesting choice. Why not go the whole way? They can have any genitalia they want - there are no limits. Why stick with a 'fat clit' when it can change on a whim?

> There's a mortal's hungry heart still beating underneath the god-shell
OK, I liked this. It's a banger line.
> Gets Jayce dripping creamy with cum at every pass
Eh...should it really be that creamy? Why am I thinking of custard all of a sudden?
> To come buried inside of him
That's nice, but he can't do that - even though you can take any form you want in that realm. Viktor is in God mode, so why not go for it?

> Glittering starstuff
'Stardust' would've worked better here.
> His thick, churned-up cum
Now why do I think of butter? As for the author promising poetry porn, she somewhat delivered on that, though I am wondering about the dimensions of this god vagina here. Why does it seem to change size in every scene, to where it's big enough for you to walk through it like a door to big enough where the clitoris can act as a neophallus? I'm gonna need some measurements now.

Do you remember that fic where Jayce was cosplaying as Tommy Vercetti? As promised, the author wrote a companion fic - this time from Viktor's perspective.

Basically, Zaun is like Detroit at this point, just without all the black people and shootouts.
> That's not exactly what he's looking for when he's chatting up random men at bars
How many men get political when they want their dick sucked? Even politicians were known to get handsies in the WH back in the day. They just want to get off; they're not going to discuss trade wars with you.
> He already had a respectable libido and his T shot each week always boosts his hormones
The pooner is broke, with no money for food or rent, but can afford to get those T shots on time. Priorities.
> This was so much easier; no more invasive questions about his home or body
I thought trans men were men and were proud of their 'boypussy'. You mean to tell me that men can't stop asking questions about it? Go figure.

* Beck and call. It should also be mentioned that Viktor is sucking cock for free when he could be making a lot of money off of this.

> He knows he's an attractive guy
Yet he gets very antsy when you ask him about his 'masculine vagina'.
> What's in it for me, cumslut?
An STD test and a month's worth of Truvada.

That's right: Viktor wanted a Frankendong, but chose to stick with the metoidioplasty, which only gives him 4.6 cm in length, barely larger than the roid clit alone. 'Smaller than average' isn't even close; he isn't even large enough to hit micropenis status.

That's a first. Jayce is only slightly above average in this vs being the Hispanic Hog. His fingers are fat, though, and of course they're twice the size of Viktor's dainty lady fingers.
> Especially those who are trying to pretend it's not a man on the other side
They don't have to. Viktor isn't one - but any hole is a goal, you know.

Can it even be considered a handjob when you're that small? There are bigger Chinese finger puppets. There's a reason why they make dildos as large as they do. I would just stop while I'm at it if I was that small.
> He's used to being a hole then left, and most of the time he prefers it that way
An FTM being used as a human fleshlight? You don't say. That's not predictable at all.

As it turns out, there's also a second chapter for Jayce's POV, too. But I'll stick to this one for now.

I still can't get over how this broke fuck doesn't have money for food due to being a college student, but scrounges up enough for his T shots. You can't eat but at least your dysphoria is cured, right?

FTM Viktor and weed tend to flock together like flies to shit - not that I find it unbelievable, but it is something to note how many stoners write these fics.

Of course Jayce has hair like a Persian carpet. Usually, he's written as being smooth-chested, while Viktor has the Tarzan pubes; this time around, both of them have a bush so thick COP30 can't cut their way through it.
> Rubbing at his half hard cock through fabric
Which would be like touching a mini Mars bar.

Yes, we're leaning into the puppy play thing - which is oddly popular in this fandom, as Jayce is usually 'dog coded'.

Well, we know Jayce is 7'', which is above average, but not colossally long, but he is making up for it in the girth department. I also want to know why his dick is a 'deep shade of red' - did he get a visit from the Kool-Aid man?

There isn't much to stroke, mind you.

The FTM doesn't have control in their sex life and finds that they are being taken advantage of by actual men at every turn? You don't say. I totally couldn't have seen that coming.

And would you look at that: the uwu smol trans boi is losing it over the muscular joke with big muscles and a thick dick. Couldn't see that coming.

The author had a trigger warning for 'schizo', even though that's what she is. Trigger warnings, famously, do not protect people from anything, and it's not like these people are going to be offensive. Just say what you want and be done with it.

Heh, if he kept betting, he'd have enough money for rent AND food. As it is, he spends it all on T shots.

You're barking over 7''. At least it's workable compared to the monsters featured here - the ABO ones remain the biggest. I wonder how long this will go until Jaycey Vercetti finds his missing coke.

And as a follow-up, here's the second chapter from the other perspective.

In case you forgot, this version of Jayce has bipolar disorder, based on the author's own bipolar symptoms, as and such, goes through manic episodes where he won't sleep for days. Who knew that getting a blowjob in a gloryhole would give you a methhead's strength?

If blowjobs could really make people work for days, perhaps companies like Amazon should take note. This would also mean that Jayce hasn't taken his meds for days either, prolonging the mania. He's lucky they aren't the violent ones; men with BPD tend to have worse episodes than women.

I guess ACAB doesn't apply to private security, eh?

He's an adult. His mother should be more worried that he isn't taking his BPD meds rather than getting randomly sucked off in a bathroom - unless she's a devoted Catholic, that is. Would she get mad that he was sucked off in a bathroom, or sucked off by a transman? A question for the ages.

Yes, he still has the Tarzan pubes, but curly this time! You'll need a better hedgetrimmer for that one.

> Other man
Boy is he in for a shock - or not really, as he takes the news that Viktor is trans rather well.

So, he notes that Viktor has the zippertit scars, a tiny 'cocklet' from his metoidioplasty - that the author wants to insist is 'modest' - and has a 'blush' in its 'length' when it would be barely larger than his pinky. Jayce is taking it rather well that Viktor is actually a woman; BPD men tend to go off the rails if something triggers them. Luckily, the only bruises people are getting here is from rough sex, not a beat down.

Yes, Jayce is under the impression it was all a delusion, despite photographic and textual evidence that it was not. Rather than read the texts, he ignores them and pretends it doesn't happen. Therein lies the twist: it wasn't a delusion at all, and Viktor would very much like to suck his cock some more.

> It must've been a fantasy
> Making up some fantasy
Mm, are you sure YOU aren't the delusional one, dear author? You can't remember that you wrote this twice.
> Slides his cock inside the warm, wet hole
Which one? His vagina or the glory hole?

Since this is from Jayce's POV, the other fic, from Viktor's, will likely be updated first. So we'll get a back-and-forth between these two because the author can't just merge them together for consistency's sake. However, apparently next week is Dark JayVik week, and she plans to participate, so expect a lot more dark content posted here. It'll be interesting to see what goodies I can grab.

BTW, don't say those delusional episodes are funny. The author has BPD and would like you to know it's very serious for her!

A while ago, I posted this very contentious fic. It involved terminal illness and pregnancy, and the decisions involved therein. It got worse as I read on, and more chapters have been added. This is what happened next.

They're getting down to fuck right after Viktor was released from the hospital after his terminal diagnosis AND upon learning he was pregnant. You aiming for round two there, buddy?

It's that 'neat, pink slit' that brought them to where they are, all because V here thought testosterone was birth control.

So, in case you missed it: this soap opera tragedy is based on Viktor using his female anatomy to get pregnant, and the grapples with the decision to terminate it or not, even though he's too ill to carry the fetus to term. IIRC, he's around 12-15 weeks, and he was on T the entire time. He never knew he was pregnant, because he thought he was too ill, too thin, and that testosterone protected him.
> I didn't ask you to do that
> You didn't have to
Look at that, the 'cis man' is making all the decisions for him. Very progressive. I thought trans men were in full control of their bodies?

Here's the thing, though: he's repeatedly insinuated he does NOT want the pregnancy terminated. Why? Well, it's never explained, because the fetus is just an afterthought, an It if you will. It definitely isn't because he wants to 'secure his legacy' or 'leave a piece of himself behind'. His reasons for deferring the procedure are all over the place.

Viktor keeps putting it off, despite the pregnancy getting farther and father along, further endangering his health. This could have all been prevented had Jayce just pulled out.
> Don't I get a say
Hmm, what's the saying? No uterus, no opinion? Might as well stick with it.

I don't think it has to do with a bastard child; it has everything to do with a transman, who is deathly ill, who is still taking testosterone and is infecting the fetus with it, dancing around his options while not even explaining the reasons why he desires to continue the pregnancy.
> You said you couldn't get pregnant
Guess it was a miracle - and he later does say this, btw.

I do agree with Jayce that he should stop dancing around it and make a decision, but then we wouldn't have the drama. Contrary to what he thinks, that would be a dangerous pregnancy, and his body doesn't produce enough nutrients as is. So yes, my dear, that It may be the thing that actually kills you.

Ah, despite everything, we still hate the token nigger. You can draw the line at not stopping testosterone, but not darkie hate, lmao.

> Reprieve from the warmth from the close, warm air of the party
Yes, the floor is made of floor.

One would think they would have discussed this earlier, knowing Viktor has female parts. The odds of getting pregnant are never zero, and would you look at that - it happened! And it just so happened during the worst parts of Viktor's terminal illness and when he's about to kick the bucket.

Also note the language used here - 'unidentified person' - instead of 'woman'. He needs a birthing person to get what he wants, and he just so happened to find one.

Viktor takes a liking to Cait, despite her being from a wealthy, corrupt family, but he doesn't like Mel because...oh, well, guess she's a shade too dark for him. He's willing to give Cait a chance despite her being a cop, but the nigger gets none. I see you, bitch.

> I don't know what came over me
Pregnancy hormones, lad. You'd think you'd know what they are by now, as your female biology never changed. Do they have a 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' series over there?

> Was never to have been in this situation in the first place
Should've pulled out, then.
> I should've lost it by now, and yet I haven't
See? He really does call it a miracle baby.
> You think it's a terrible idea to have it
And he is right. They already discussed this in chapter 1, but it seems it's going to be a common theme; a back and forth on what to do with the pregnancy. Miracle children are a sure way to cheer someone up with super cancer, eh?

> Had been thinking more about the pregnancy than himself
Those are your maternal instincts talking. It desires to sustain the lifeform inside it, even though you are dosing it with T and have been for three months. Smart man you are.
> It had become a baby to him, something to be protected, even at the expense of his own wellbeing
Lila Rose would be very proud.

She's going to be an abuela. What's not to like? She'll be making tamales and casseroles day in and day out until Viktor turns into a mummy. Won't that be fun?

The author would like you to know that this is NOT a theybie - they just don't know what sex the fetus is despite ultrasounds. Because sex is assigned at birth, you know.

We can tell the sex of a fetus via ultrasounds. Fascinating concept, I know.

> Because he was newly pregnant
They didn't find out until he was at least 12 weeks in, and by then he was still on T. That fetus's development is going to be fucked up but hey, least the trans man kept their identity. Ximena is right to be concerned about his constitution, because normally, miscarriage would happen rather quickly. It really is a miracle he's made it this far.

So, he is 22 weeks along, two weeks near the cutoff point for most abortions (at this point, only a severe fetal anomaly could qualify you for one) and despite his jokes about the fetus being a 'tumour', it turns out that Viktor wanted to keep the pregnancy all along because he wanted his legacy to be left behind in a physical person at great risk to his health.

> He could wrap his hands around his waist
I swear to fucking God, I have seen this literally hundreds of fucking times. Just how goddamn small is Viktor's waist? Does he have the body of a 5'0 woman or what?
> The majority of them meant to support the pregnancy
He's been on T and painkillers this entire time, and was on painkillers before he knew he was pregnant. If his lack of nutrition didn't cause a miscarriage, those opioids sure will.
> Pregnant people
Of fucking course. We're 'pregnant people' but you're True and Honest Men because you say so. How quaint.
> He worried about the integrity of his partner's spine
Apparently, neither he nor Viktor know much about human biology because they are astoundingly unaware of the changes the female body goes through during pregnancy, particularly how the spine bends to accommodate a pregnancy. Viktor, knowing his spinal problems, still went through with the pregnancy due to his selfish need to propagate. Not only is he NOT concerned about his spine, he's never once stopped taking T either, which reduces immune function in females. Stellar parent, there.

So, Viktor's father dies from being beaten to death by cops, but he likes Cait more than Mel despite Cait's family funding said cops...I don't think the author thought this through. She just wanted a pregnancy soap opera fic and did not want people questioning her decisions.

Jayce really does come off as tone deaf in this. Your little pooner is dying of a terminal illness, with a fetus that you helped create, and you are asking him to be happy about it. Nevermind how Viktor feels about the whole scenario - he just saw it as a means to an end - you just want him to grin and fucking bear it despite being upset earlier about his terminal diagnosis. Pick a fucking mood!

Viktor approaches Jayce with his last will and testament, along with every arrangement on what to do with their miracle baby. Straightforward and simple, right? Wrong. Jayce wants to argue over it again.

That's not what he was saying. Viktor trusts Jayce either he would not have listed him as a trustee; Jayce is just coping that he's going to be a single father. I get Jayce is being emotional here but he sure as hell isn't logical. If you never wanted this to happen, maybe not engage in heterosexual sex? Just saying.

People are looking at you strangely because you are a 'pregnant man', and they know you're actually female, because only females get pregnant. And yes, it is cruel because you are endangering your body and that of the fetus because you never stopped taking T when you had no clue you conceived. Funny how the author doesn't bring that up.
> It's not only yours
No uterus, no opinion, right?
> Now you say that, when your pride is wounded
I'm having a hard time figuring out if Jayce is proud at all, especially when he caused these events by cumming inside and not pulling out.
> Is it really so terrible to want what everybody else wants? To have something that lives beyond you?
You should have thought of that when you were healthier. Not literally fucking dying, you retard. I can't feel pity for you, sorry. You endangered your child and yourself. Fuck off.

You would think, for a genius, that he would at least do some research on pregnancy and how it affects the spine, but noooo. He was warned by multiple professionals that this would happen, yet went with it anyways. He was also taking his prescribed painkillers during the first trimester, btw, which would lead to jail time if it was a normal woman doing it (seriously, women have ended up in jail just for hospitals picking up epidural drugs in the placenta).
> Both were bad for the fetus, which came first now, in all things
So why didn't you stop testosterone? Why didn't you get pregnant earlier in your life? If you keep referring to it as a tumour...why wait until 22 weeks? Oh, right. For the drama.
> He was losing weight even as his belly grew
Yeah, because the fetus is taking nutrients. You should know this.

They can tell what sex the fetus is during ultrasounds. It isn't that hard.
> The natural assumption for most people to make was that he was simply having a difficult pregnancy
No, the first assumption they are going to make is that you are not a man, but a woman, because why is a man getting pregnant?

> Jayce still struggled to envision the fetus as something that would eventually exist outside of Viktor
He says this, and then laments that he' wasn't there enough' for the pregnancy despite admitting that he was 'disinterested' the entire time because he viewed it as an abstract concept. Pick a struggle.

He already told you he was fine with dying. He didn't just give you his will for nothing.

26 weeks along, and people are now noticing the baby bump. Of course, they don't say the obvious to his face because that would be transphobic and we can't have that, now can we?

He says this with a straight face, while also being nicer to Cait than Mel, with the former's family funding the very Enforcers who beat his father to death. You cannot write better jokes than this. At this point, Mel is just hated because she gets in the way of the ship - and because she's a nigger, of course. It ain't ACAB, it's ABAB in here.

Jayce repeatedly tells himself he 'can't do it' in regards to Viktor's morbid sense of humour, even when he has had months to prepare. I get it, it's all for the pining and drama, but the audience already KNOWS this. You don't need to repeat it.

Don't worry, everything is bad. He just had a tumble. We're not going to be THAT dramatic and have a stillbirth.

Jayce should already know this as he did research on the Grey, yet he still acts surprised at every turn.

If they have procedures for SRS, they likely have NICUs and incubators. It's the City of Progress, after all. 26 weeks is premature but the fetus can still live.

Again, I don't know why he's acting shocked at this when this was happening before Viktor found out he was even pregnant. They both knew this was going to happen. You've been told the 'love of your life' has six months to live and that's how you act? Really, nigga?

Untoward, he says, while being pushy and barging in when Viktor was 12 weeks along. Now he's 'at an arm's length' and feels completely detached. How convenient.

Yes, this is what he exclusively said when he presented the will. He wanted a physical legacy left behind, and a child was the solution.
> It's what people do, isn't it?
It's what heterosexual people do, and you just happened to use the parts Nature gave you. This could have been avoided had Jayce pulled out, you know.

I can understand where Viktor is coming from: he wants a physical legacy, he wants to be remembered, and a human child is one of the most secure ways to do it. Of course, the father in this case doesn't want to be involved while saying he wants to be involved while wanting to be more responsible while skirting responsibility. He's all over the place. He is fully aware the 'pregnant man' is dying and still wants to contest it.

If you didn't think you were capable, you should not have impregnated that pooner. You should have thought about it beforehand. Now that you're near the finish line, you are having second thoughts about you wanting to be involved.

> He was more than a little afraid that he would grow to resent the child...for mattering more to Viktor than his own life
Yes, this is the fundamental issue with the fic. I get what the author is doing here: crafting a tragedy where a woman has to decide whether to prioritize her life or that of her growing child, and to come to terms with her illness that is killing her. The desire to produce an heir, a legacy, that can be understood. But what I will not get over is how said woman decided to dose a fetus with testosterone for weeks on end without a care in the world, and now makes the 'selfish' decision to go through with it. Clearly, Viktor's life did not matter - the fetus does. Ironic coming from a progressive trans person.

He says that while remaining at arm's length - because he doesn't want to be resentful of his own child. If that was the case, you should have heeded the doctor's orders and opted to terminate - but we need that soap opera drama. Trans men sure do love their pregnancy dramas.

Such motherly behaviour. You better hope that fetus comes out normal. The author herself thinks it's no big deal - because it's just like any other hormone, see, and you're a dirty transphobe for daring to point it out. Just shut up and read the pregnancy fic because that's totally NOT a female-coded thing to do.

Chandelier · Mar 16, 2025

An author named softestpunk has come up now and again, and I remember her for her fics in the Assassin's Creed fandom. They were bad then, so when I saw her show up in the Arcane fandom (my current hyperfixation, as anyone can see from my posts here), I figured I'd take a walk down memory lane. Her works range from G to E, and she even has people podcast her works. An all-around lucky lady, getting attention and praise like that. Well, here's her 12k doggy-tale dog sitting magnum opus. It is not available to non AO3 users, but I'm always here to help.

Not even a sentence in and we have our meet-cute, our dear pooner walking smack dab in the middle of a wide, muscular chest and - wouldn't you believe it? - he already wants to treat those big tiddies as a pillow. Looks like we're going in all raw, no rubber.

> He's beautiful. There's no other word for it
If you had no idea what Jayce looked like, you'd think this was a dumb way to describe someone. He's beautiful, fine - but in what way? 12k words and you're going to waste it not describing things that might help with the insta panty drop?
> Other than to torture him
You just met him, and you already want to fuck him. Consider this a record-breaker.

Hopefully that dog didn't draw blood, otherwise it'd be heading straight to the pound to be put down. Like, wow, dude, you just don't drag around Lil Rabies over here.

> He really is unnecessarily handsome
Other authors focus on his muscles, how large his hands are - and JUST YOU WAIT, that 'his hands are so large they meet in the middle' thing IS going to be used - his nice skin tone, his hair, his teeth, his lips, etc. Here it's just 'he's handsome'. OK? That does nothing for me? You aren't going to explain anything else?

> Charming men don't flirt with him
That's a first. Usually, trans Viktor is a slut who's seen more cocks than that OF model who broke the world record. These two haven't even struck up a proper friendship yet and Viktor is rubbing himself all over him like someone sprayed pheromones.
> Masculine cologne
Funny how we know what men are when it comes to them being 'masculine', when it's a nebulous concept everywhere else.

> Be a pooner
> Run into a sexy mechanic
> He charms you right away
> You lose all character development and personality because all you want to do is get fucked by him
They are never beating the allegations. This is so stereotypically female-brained, even bodice ripper novels have more time to build up the relationship. This man's panties are already getting wet and he's ready to jump that Hog!

Why is he? Talking? Like this? Even when he's making a statement? Oh wow, he doesn't have daddy issues like most FTMs. Go him!
> You've known me what? Ten minutes? And here I am pouring out my heart to you
That's not the only thing pouring out its heart.

I do not get that sentence. 'The warm light playing over his features as though delighted by them'. It's a shitty metaphor, especially as light cannot 'feel' anything, and you already established the mood by it being 'warm light'. 'The warm light played over his boyish features, a delightful golden glow on his cheeks' is much, much better. Sometimes giving human attributes to non-human things does not work; this is one of them.

He's known him for half and hour and he already has decided he's the love of his life. And they haven't even had dinner first! They're really breaking all records here.

> It's been too long since he had a huge, ridiculous crush on someone
And here we have the telling, not showing. The author writes that he HAS a crush on Viktor, but doesn't actually show it. Yes, he says Viktor is cute and that he wants to squeeze him like a squeaky toy - funny how that only ever happens to FTMs - but that doesn't show me pining or mutual attraction. It's just...there.

> He's out of practice with cute boys
And I guarantee you that his reaction to seeing that Viktor has a pussy is 'WOW! That's so cool, dude! That makes it so much easier for me!'

> Is a physicist
> Is studying subjects that have a lot of math
> Author writes he doesn't like math
I don't think this author is particularly gifted in the IQ department. Physics is considered a haven for male autists for a reason; you are either a theoretical physicist (working with theories and numbers all day) or an experimental physicist (see Gordon Freeman). I would assume Viktor is more of the latter. The fact she thinks him not liking math may seem innocuous, but it is retarded. You don't go into physics as a profession if you don't like math.

UWU so cute

♥

You made coffee for him earlier. This is such an astounding revelation that he thinks the heavens have opened and he's found the love of his life. How cliched.

Also note how more detail is placed on Jayce's body now that the author wants them to be sexually compatible. He was simply described as 'beautiful' before: now he has bronze skin, nice muscles, and a thick happy trail that leads to his cock.
> Mouth suddenly
Mouth suddenly what? Dry? You forgot a word there, lass. Hopefully your podcaster who reads your fics will add that in.
> Other places suddenly wet, for the second time since meeting Jayce
A woman gets turned on by a guy with the physique of a pool boy, go figure.

Academically? The man is a bonafide himbo, and while that may be sweet at first, his ummm uhhhs make him as irritating as a drama teacher.
> Now he notices it with the soul of a poet, with longing, with hunger
The ironic thing is, Viktor only gets poetic with Jayce's body when he starts masturbating in the shower. He goes all out when describing him then.

> Viktor is not sure
> It makes all the difference in the world to him
So he's sure.

Also, I had to laugh at Viktor announcing he was trans over fucking body hair. He's upset he didn't get any (I'm sure it all went to his Tarzan pubes instead), and just casually says I'M TRANS as a means of conversation. While other people would normally go, 'What the fuck, man, I didn't ask', Jayce takes it in stride because he doesn't have to be gay-for-pay no more.

You can, uh, write sentences normally. And he, like, has hair near his pubic area, Viktor noted that.
> Jayce has taken this conversation in stride. Maybe better than anyone Viktor has ever told
I mean, you said it without preamble, and over chest hair no less. What is the proper reaction one should have?
> It is a relief to be understood. Or if not understood, accepted without fuss
Oh? If you were already a man, why didn't you demand it? Do you announce to all your partners you have a vagina over chest hair, or...?

> It was an established fact that the single hottest look on a man was rolled up sleeves
Funny, I thought it was sweat dripping off bronzed skin and thick pecs.
> Murmuring to him about how gorgeous he is ad how unbelievably happy Jayce is about to make him
He's already preparing his sex talk and how much of a puppy he is in bed. Amazing.
> Boy or girl
Wow, nice binary thinking there, softestpunk! Where are all the other sexes and genders? Fucking TERF bitch, you!

Of all the attributes you had to focus on...why the nose? The nose knows!

> While, himself, working
This is an abrupt sentence and should be blended in to the former.
> Staying upright in the shower while masturbating
And here comes the poetry porn.

> The world's most perfect cock
Alright, any bets on how big this iteration is? 10 inches? 12? A meager 7''? Are we getting a belly bulge?

> Jayce's hands, work-rough and strong and sure and clever
Oh yes, now imagine those fingers spreading you open. There's going to be a lot of that.

Note how more emphasis was placed on Jayce's physical attributes and his beauty when it came to sexual gratification vs when Viktor first met him. Had softestpunk started with this, the pining might've had more weight.

Viktor, canonically, LOVES working with machines. He may not be muscular but be absolutely knows how to work with them; his old lore has him as the 'Machine Herald'. Making him a physicist who doesn't like math and a machinist who doesn't like machines almost sounds like a subtle 'haha the WOMAN can't do manly things!' Which is definitely NOT what the author is aiming for, no sir.

This man surely is a meat magnet - and you're gonna get another flavour of that meat very soon.

And enough with the ummm uhh ummm like uhhh you are not Trudeau. Stop it.

Uhh umm uhhh uhuhuh I'm a himbo OK I'm trying to speak awkwardly OK

> Maybe even like he's excited?
Post this in Gender Guesser and see what you get. Because? Teenage girls? Act like this?
> Jayce isn't actually a competitive man
Yes he is, in both iterations. Jayce Giopara is VERY competitive; Talis is nicer about it. They both have their ways. Leave it to the pooner who doesn't like math or machines to be good at card games.

Huh, who knew long-term erections could do that. He's so focused on sex AND the card game that he cuts out the rest of the world - even when said erection would be visible to everyone. I'm sure he's fantasizing about those 'soft hands' all over his dick, because of course the FTM is the small and soft one.

Aww, look at that. They're bonding! Gotta have the chemistry in there somewhere!

> Fits against his side like he was carved for the space
> Could fit in his life
Wow, almost like he was made for him. Complementary parts and all that.
> Or maybe he's into rom-coms
Girl, this IS a rom-com. Who are you fooling?

He already decided he loved him on the first meet-cute, and everything went from there in a series of ummm ahhhs and sweet talking coffee machines.

> As though he weighs no more than a bag of feathers
Yeah, he's probably not even 100 lbs soaking wet.
> Jayce smells exactly as he ought to
Ah yes, that 'masculine' scent, that manly scent, that irrevocably male scent pooners can never seem to replicate.
> Could he have been any clearly in his interest?
Aside from the thigh rubs and the head on the shoulder? Yeah.

> How is he so stupid?
IDK, the author wants you to be an adorkable loser.
> He could be kissing Viktor right now if he wasn't a fucking coward
Don't worry, they fuck in the next few screenshots. The author never leaves her audience hanging.

That's a first. Usually GIGACHAD ALPHA JAYCE can't handle nos - or at least he gives his puppy dog eyes to give a yes. You can thank thin walls for this one.

He does that a lot.

> His hands are broad and eager, spanning nearly the whole of Viktor's hips
Called it.
> The thick, searing length of his cock
Aww, and we never find out how big it is. All these words describing these meet cutes and the badly written pining and THIS is what we get? Even mango loco couldn't stop talking about how Jayce's 12 inches were to die for!
> Biting his lip like the sweetest of little boys
That's weird, bro.

> He bites his own lip at the stretch, the searing heat, the wonderfully satisfying length and breadth of him
Softestpunk actually has other E rated fics. I wonder if they are as explicit as this or if she just decided to cut corners with this one. All these ummm uhhhs and we get the most non-explicit sex ever.

Cool! Wouldn't it be nice if you described said genitalia?
> Just, ummm. You look great there
If you go 'ummm' one more time I am wiring your jaw shut.
> He's going to fall in love with this man
Your panties were already getting wet on the first meeting. This is a redundant statement.

> One hiccupping gasp after another
You OK there, son? You sound like you're choking on air.
> Comes in pulse after pulse, filling Viktor with the sticky rush of his orgasm
Yes, this is the climax - literally. No descriptions of genitalia, no use of 'cock' for Viktor's genitalia, just a barely-there smut scene that is absolutely NOT worth 12k words. What a waste of time.

OK, I am getting the pliers. Open up wide, here comes the drill.

> I like you
> Because I like you
> The flirting was on purpose, because you like it
HOLY SHIT WE GET IT ALREADY

> You think I'm ridiculous
You are.
> I like you too
> Gods, he likes Viktor
We know, you said it five fucking times.

WHAT DID I JUST SAY. This dialogue, along with being repetitive, just does not sound authentic. One character will make a statement, the other will echo it back as if it was never said, rinse and repeat. It literally reads like glitched Skyrim NPC talk. Quirky my ass.

> I'm not fragile
> But you're not made of glass
What did he just fucking tell you?
> I don't want to hurt you at all
See point above.

> Better to worry about hurting me than not care
He already said that.
> He understands. Or if not understands yet, is at least capable of understanding. Willing to understand
OK, we get it. He took you being trans well enough, so why not your pain tolerance?

> He wants to wake up next to Viktor
He already said that. I don't think the author remembers what she wrote.
> The scent of him clinging to his palate
Does she mean the TASTE of him? Your palate is in your mouth.

Just wait until you discover the big twist.

That's right: Heimerdinger planned the whole thing! He knew these boys would hit it off right away, all the ummms uhhhss and like? You're not made of glass? shenanigans. How sweet. 12k words and the author couldn't even deliver a proper smut. Booooooooooooooorrrrrrrrring. I bet she saved it for her multi-chapter fic, at over 20k words, that involves them making a porno. Wanna bet if it'll be as boring as this?

There's a new challenge afoot, and it's produced quite a deluge of content so far. Do you like Catholic priests getting down and dirty? This one should be right up your alley.

This traditional Catholic clergy is so progressive they even let a trans man become a Father! Gee, I wonder why membership is declining and why the money isn't pouring in for their tight knit community. Have they considered reaching out to the local Muslim community for help?

> Older members had balked at his arrival
Yeah, because he's a woman, pretending to be a man, claiming to be a Father. Hell, women becoming open priests was achieved not too long ago and that's not even a thing in traditional Catholicism. How'd they let a fully open trans man in?
> Had been so confounded by what he'd done
I'd say they're more confounded at your gender identity, dood.

> He shouldn't be noticing this much about another person, another man, at all
You stared at his crotch first, remember. Plus, all this talk about ERMAHGEWD GAY PRIESTS is moot because they're both women. A bigger crime is allowing a biological female into a role ordained for men.
> His upper lip was painted black
Oh man, can't wait for the Bathory covers.

> Why did Jayce feel like he wasn't talking about the church at all?
Because he isn't. He's only there to shoot a music video.

Lol. The author has the nerve to call out American pastors for their hypocrisy via megachurches, while he admits his own congregation is declining and that the money is drying up. Something tells me it isn't just the demographic change. The irony of talking about a house of God while making a mockery of Him.

The absolute irony. The Catholic Church holds a traditional view of gender, and yet a transman is here allowed to be a priest in a liberal church - which is something Protestants are known for - and is talking about a mockery of religion. Oh, the lack of self-awareness.

And how DO other Catholic priests regard Jayce? Well, he just so happens to be the highest ranking transgender priest, as it is revealed in a later snippet.

Oh, he'll get on his knees a lot, trust me.

So, I am to believe he managed to get through seminary school without them ever finding out he was trans, getting all the accolades and the schooling and whatnot, and then gets a job at a liberal church where they KNOW he is trans, and then goes around talking about sin and supplication despite, you know, violating God's view of sex. Neato.

Yes, God wants you to have lesbian sex at the altar with a red-and-white dildo. It's Biblical, y'know!

LMAO. That's not the only thing he's hypocritical for. Fucking in God's house? Blasphemy. And it can't even be considered gay male sex, either, so no fire and brimstone here.

Cute, but neither of you are men. God, as well as myself, is confused as fuck. Who should get punished more: the lesbian, or the atheist?

Jesus Christ is out skateboarding. He wants nothing to do with your unholiness.

So, Jayce really did get all those accolades while pretending to be a man, was later outed, and had to move areas because the other priests would have seem him excommunicated. It's less to do with 'fear' about giving you dominion over an area - it's the fact that you are a biological woman, and women cannot be ordained as priests. You'd think these Catholic guilt authors would remember their teachings.

> He wasn't waving that knowledge around like a hidden sin
...except it isn't hidden. Everyone knows you are trans; you were denied a position in other parishes, remember?
> The dildo is obviously phallic
...yes, that's the entire point.

Homie you are a trans man in a role meant for actual men. 'Chastity' is the least of your worries. Also, LOL at the mention of his child birthing hips.

> His own fingers couldn't reach this deep
Gah, those dastardly lady fingers and their shorter length!
> Neglected, swollen cock
1-2 inches. That is if he's on testosterone.

Most transmen don't turn to religion - they eschew it, believing it to be a faith for backwards conservatives and despise its view on gender. However, they love the culture of Catholicism (just not the boy rape), its history and its aesthetic...but they'll never pick up a Bible. They love the thrill of it and that's it. What better way to do that than to have a transman get a dildo up his cunt in front of an altar? Jesus is watching.
> Snot started to bubble from his nose
Wow, another Scary Movie reference? I just keep finding 'em.

And after that, the Number 1 Trans Priest left his congregation and everyone sighed a breath of relief, unsurprised to see him join a black metal band and fuck the band members. The faith is saved!

Before I post this one, this was the fanart drawn for it. The full image is found in the fic, but this is the cropped version. The author is credited for kicking off this challenge with a bang.

Saar, are you touched yet, saaar?

Father Viktor should know transmen are not allowed as priests because only men can be ordained. Fuck the Church - unless you want that pussy fucked in turn.

Yes, she used the 'tongues battling for dominance' cliché.
> What's one more sin?
Homie the bigger sin is that you're having 'gay sex' with a woman. In a Church. All this talk about sex abuse in the pulpit when shit like this happens.

To be fair, a sack of potatoes would be heavier.

> His cunt is getting abused like this
Well, this is a fic on the shorter side of things, so I assume it's the classic 'he was so huge he battered me up like I'm the walls at Constantinople'.
> Shallowly fill Viktor's hole
Cup runneth over - literally. Plus, for some reason, Viktor's vagina reminds me of a floppy pancake. Something about the consistency.

Well, there wouldn't be much to suck. You'd have better luck deepthroating the wine bottle.
> They feel more connected to God than either of them has in years
I'm sure God is confused at your display, because it isn't really gay sex, but 'straight' sex with extra steps. So, congrats on fulfilling your traditional roles, I guess?
> It's another to admit to themselves that they want more than this
So leave. Let the church die out. Everyone is moving to Islam anyways. There are enough scandals inside the Church as is.

Everybody hates Catholicism until it comes time for kink. Then they're pulling out the Bible quotes and cassocks and dreaming about being fucked in the booth. And it's never the balding priests either - it's always the hot ones; or, in this case, a supposedly hot man who is supposed to be Hispanic yet appears Indian.

Chandelier · Mar 17, 2025

Mostly chapter updates for this one. The Knight AU has its rewritten third chapter up - past that, it's all new material.

> still his beating hard
She means heart.
> He did not regret it. If his parents knew about this...
Yes, I wonder which aspect of it they'd be angrier about: the fact that their daughter, masquerading as a son, got pregnant by a male when she was meant to marry a woman, or the fact that a knight took their 'son's' sacred virginity. Decisions, decisions.
> These would need to be hidden before they reached the castle, lest the wrong pair of eyes linger too long
That isn't the issue. The main issue is what's cooking in that uterus of yours. Once you start showing, they're going to know, and they're going to know Seraphine wasn't the one who did it.

Yep, she still kept this description, making me think she race-bent Sky. The scene still plays out the same: she runs away at the sight of Jayce because the plot twist is that Jayce is a former mercenary who is 'running away from his past'. Though, taking the virginity of a royal would be the worst crime he's ever committed.

Yes, and people still wonder what the twist was. I called it in the original because it was obvious, and because the author was dropping hints with those tattoos/flesh engravings. Jayce was a former bandit/mercenary, found the 'right' path, got hired by Viktor's parents, and now gets to bang royal pussy for fun. Can't wait to see how the new chapters turn out.

You don't have the supplies for that, and you would be hunted down. What happened to Guy Fawkes would be child's play compared to what would happen to you.

Aha, get it? It's a reference to the Linkin Park song! They tried so hard and got so far, and in the end it never even mattered.
> His father's expectations
To do what? He can't sire children. He can gestate them. This still makes me wonder if Viktor's father hoodwinked the Zaunites by giving them a pooner as a 'groom' or if they knew the whole time and agreed to this fancy lesbian relationship anyways. I doubt that will ever be addressed.

Much like the original, the wound was never sewn up or filled with herbs. This means he has a giant scab under his armour that is probably opening and closing on a daily basis. He's lucky it didn't get infected.
> Young prince feel safe. Protected
Always the 'feeling safe' thing with these pooners. They will mouth hunky men one moment and this is what they write when they think no one is looking.
> If they knew what I stole from you
You'd be drawn and quartered, simple as. You committed a crime against a royal. Now the trick is whether you'd be charged under a homosexual crime, or for taking a woman's virtue. Do they gender people accurate in these pseudo Medieval laws?

> I could never feel for another as I feel for you
AKA Seraphine doesn't have a giant knightly cock to feed that pooner pussy. She's SOL from the get-go.
> This love, it will sustain me for the rest of my life
How romantic. How tropey. Now get to that deepthroat scene.

This was not brought up in the original - the notion that they'd be caught because Viktor would be recognizable as a noble - but they head to the tavern anyways, where they fuck. I don't know yet if she kept the same cringey sex dialogue, but she removed the 'he fucked Viktor in the shape of his dick' so maybe some things did change for the better.

> He should not find himself longing for the warmth of another man's embrace
And yet, you already did that, established that, and long for it some more. Now the question is whether this counts as a spicy straight crime or a homosexual one - if they're even punished for those things here.

Yes, the dream sequence is the same. Viktor has visions of Evil Jayce, the Two-Faced Snake, which is a premonition and foreshadowing as to what Jayce used to do. I suspect his 'if I was my old self I would have kidnapped you already' line to be in this as well, and Viktor being blissfully ignorant towards it again.

I wonder if this plot will be explored in-depth or if it's just background lore. Guess we'll see.

Huh, are they slipping into Shakespearean or was that a typo?
> A knight's heart, strong and true
So true he took your virginity because who can resist that pooner pussy? White (wo)men stay winning!

Right, this is almost a word-for-word copy of the original smut, down to Jayce not bathing for days before Viktor decides to deep throat him. "Package" is still used; 'boxers' instead of 'breeches' remains the same, and the 'tasted so much like man' raises some eyebrows, because I was under the impression that Viktor was a man too and that there was no such thing. What does 'tasting like a man' mean? Cock? Well Viktor has a vagina, so what does that make him? Is this subtle TERF code I haven't picked up yet?
> Kissing it felt nice, dirty
Indeed. Neither of them have bathed for days. That cock has to smell something terrible.
> He tried to wrap his whole hand around Ser Talis' shaft
Is he that big, or are your hands that small?

And this stays the same, too: Viktor deepthroats Jayce, taking him down his throat, and along with choking on that, the author keeps that God awful sentence structure. Here are my attempts to fix it.
> Sinking back down, enveloping him into the soft, wet warmth of his throat
> A hand fisted his hair and grabbed hard
> The man started fucking his face, his throat, spit and precum making it slide even better
> Moving his head, pushing his hips - and Viktor stayed pliant and nice during this

This is a rewrite and she never bothered to fix this.

> Viktor just sank down onto his cock, bottoming out completely
> Jayce grabbed Viktor's dick
Yes, compare that clit to the knight's monster hunter down there. I'm sure everyone will take that seriously.
> He leaned back to steady himself on his big thighs, digging his fingers into the flesh
> Jayce just fucking growled then, and grabbed his hips
Yes, she kept this line, too.

> Bloddy saints
And she never fixed this typo, either. Good work, lass.
> And Viktor loves this
Nor this

And just like the original, Jayce makes an admission that fucking Viktor is better than a raid, which he doesn't understand yet but he will.
> He started fucking into him like a wild animal, pressing close, leaning down to his ear
> You'll never want to get fucked by somebody else
Well, Seraphine doesn't have a 12 inch knightly cock. Who knew that you could correct lesbians if they ID as men and admit it's still gay to like cock?
> He quickly stroked his own hard cock
That ain't a cock, homie.
> Make sure you're full when I deliver you
The original had a line where he said 'I fucked you full' or something like that. Either way, someone is getting pregnant, and baby fever is going to be the next plot twist.

T-t-t-oday, junior!
> He leaned back, watching his cum flow out of Viktor's cunt.
At least the author has a realistic view of a man's refractory period. Sometimes Jayce keeps going at it like a breeding bull.

And we are led into Chapter 4, which will have brand new content I've never seen. What will happen to our pooner prince and Biggus Dickus? Any guesses are yours - and guaranteed all of them are correct in some way.

So, this week's prompt list was started on Bluesky. It currently has 150 followers, though that number might have changed since yesterday. Here are the week's prompts.

All of them will no doubt have their own set of horrors, but Day 5, I think, will be the worst as 'non con' usually involves rape of some sort. Here was one installment for Day 2.

Didn't Viktor invite you in the first place? Or did he just forget in this universe?
> With added additions
Redundant. Also, OG Viktor hated being seen as a messiah figure. He would have rolled his eyes at those paintings.

So more than six inches. Nice.
> hmf
She means to say, 'Hmph', and there are a lot of spelled out vocalizations here when it isn't needed. This is a darkfic, but it comes off as a Seth Rogan movie. You'll see what I mean by that later.
> None as gorgeous as you though
Well that's cheesy as fuck. You see your man fundamentally changed and THAT is the line you come up with?

I'm with Viktor here: get to the fucking point. This is 10k of a dark fic so let's see the dark shit. If it's a dead dove, don't eat, I wanna see some dead fucking doves cooked over that barbecue!
> Are you fucking serious
It appears so. Viktor's dialogue is not good in this; he's so evil as to be hammy, rather than self-aware and sarcastic. It's hard to take his evil seriously when he sounds like Tim Curry.

> That might be too much too fast for that, though smart, easily overstimulated brain of Jayce's
Is he calling him an ADHD sperg?
> And what's so wrong with that?
Viktor is many things - vain isn't one of them. And I'm still going to imagine it's Tim Curry voicing him now.
> I'm finally getting all the attention
He literally doesn't give a shit. All he cares about is helping others. And why is he pouting like a toddler?

> Using him like a stress ball
OK, that is funny.
> Ah hnn uh huh
OK, who invited Beavis and Butthead?

>What had he put in those things
What do you mean? They're made of metal.
> Didn't know fearing for my life was part of the kink collection
Adrenaline will do that.
> Sight of his ever-growing boner
1. He's already hard 2. How's it still growing? Does he have a hidden balloon animal up there?
> If hearts could be formed in one's eyes, there would be one n each of Jayce's
So he's a Looney Tunes character. Believe me, those heart eyes are going to disappear real soon.
> Get your boner growing again
I can't take this seriously. What is this dialogue?
> Nnn unn nn
Are you alright there, lad? Choking on a fish bone?

Well this is interesting. This is a case of a trans Viktor fic where he was male but his genitalia actually changed due to his body modifications. Interesting. However, the dialogue and, quite frankly, immature writing doesn't really make this a darkfic. It almost makes it a dark parody.
> Frankly large tits
You mean pecs?
> Yes, of course I d, you gave it to me
He already said that.
> Seriously, this was what was making him cry? This was what was making him more upset than anything else?
Appreciate the lampshading, dear author.

Like I said, this is very hard to take seriously as a dead dove. These fics are either so over-the-top that they just make the reader cringe away, or they are unintentionally funny. Why would you write a fic about BDSM torture and say the dom has the face of a three-year-old? That's weird, bro.

For a moment, I think Viktor was performing top surgery on Jayce because he didn't like his man titties. Boy, was I wrong.
> The throbbing rod
Yes, a very serious way of referring to the penis.

> Jayce was so fucking hot
He's also got the endurance of a Viltrumite.
> He pushed the blade underneath the flap of skin
> He pushed the blade further underneath the flap of skin
Should've kept to this line of thought so you didn't have to repeat yourself.

That's right: Viktor did the 40-year-old Virgin method, except instead of waxing near his nipple, he just waxed the whole thing off.
> The pain almost greater than the pleasure in his dick
This rapidly turned to a CIA torture chamber. I'm amazed he's still hard at all.
> Blood pooled out of it so generously
> So beautifully
> So arousing
So dramatic, you mean.

Yes, he smashes Jayce's right eye to a pulp like it's an Invincible skit. Squishy.

I forgot: he takes out Jayce's tongue, too, and he didn't pass out from that. It's the same scalpel he used to cut Jayce's abs and pecs, and must be pretty sharp since it's cutting through a muscle. I would've thought he would've given him a lizard tongue, not the Ottoman treatment.

I was gonna say: there's going to be a lot of blood until it's cauterized, and then the author remembers. As for the eye leaking puss, it reminds me of a melting white Hershey's chocolate. So much for the Looney Tunes heart eyes.

I would have figured he would have gone for his left leg first, as that was the one he initially broke. Having it snap like a Kit-Kat sure is something, and really highlights the power of Viktor's augments if he can snap bones like the Femur Breaker in SCP (and this is foreshadowing, wait until you get to the wrist part).
> Picked up the scalpel
Didn't he chuck it to another table? This makes it seem it was conveniently next to him.
> He'd be mixing their blood together
Luckily there are no bloodborne diseases in this. Sorry, no 'gift giving' here.

Now, Viktor uses a simple scalpel to cut through his flesh and then his muscle. I don't think the author knows how stringy muscle is, and how deep you have to cut to reach the lungs - and then you have to crack open his ribcage. A scalpel is not going to be able to do that. Did he pry open his ribs himself? It seems so.

Again, I am surprised Jayce is still hard through this. My man is going through Abu Ghraib here like a trooper.
> Jayce's dick was softened, a sheen of cum coating it
That corndog is about to get hammered - another way, of course.

Yes, you read that right: Viktor pries off Jayce's testicles, and this man does not faint from the extreme pain. He quite literally gets gelded by a trans man* (damn, the metaphors are very obvious here) and keeps his consciousness. Wew, lad.

*He's actually still a man, he just got an 'upgrade' for his downstairs. This doesn't happen often.

You rip off a man's wrist - which is really hard to do without snapping the bone and tearing through the ligament - and you go 'siiiigh'? What are you, Regina George in Outlast? You nearly faint from THIS but not from your balls being torn off? SCP 106 would be floored.

Uh, nothing you did warrants getting your balls ripped off, but you took like a champ. Who knew begging for forgiveness involved a stint at Abu Ghraib?

For a dark dove/darkfic, this didn't phase me at all. I've reach much worse, and the poor dialogue and characterization killed it. The surgical methods were wrong, as were the tools used, and I would have thought Jayce would have gotten his penis filleted or something. Maybe an impromptu circumcision? Either way, it's not very creative in the torture department. If you want real horror, just watch a documentary on Unit 731. This is just Looney Tunes trying to be Cormac McCarthy's 'Blood Meridian'.

That said, maybe our dear antelope-leg loving author could give us a proper darkfic?

Author used a Lady Gaga song for hers, I decided to use Nickleback (AKA Nickleshit). How about them apples?

She means 'lap dog', and she already wrote he was playing politics. But 'lab dog' still sounds fitting, don't you think?

I hope he put those leftovers in the fridge. The real dead dove would be him getting botulism or fried rice syndrome from improperly refrigerated food.

I thought he got out of the bath, or is he still in the bed? Nevermind. Who knew Viktor was like John Doe from Se7en, taking photos wherever he goes?

As it turns out, the real dead dove is using hair gel as lube.

Imagine if he got blisters or chemical burns on his foreskin. THERE'S a dead dove you can explore, and a tale where real men would wince.
> The intrusion large and unwelcome
What's this? Big dicked Viktor? It would be nice if he wasn't a rapist. Usually, Jayce is the more sexually aggressive one. What a twist!
> Crusty from previous use
Gross.

Sir that is going to smell like dead fish soon enough, and you will have to wash it or else it'll be covered in insects.

This was the author's first dead dove. Personally, the cum scarf and the hair gel as lube were the real dead doves. One seems like it would smell awful, the other just sounds like it hurts. Hopefully the other entries aren't as bad as this.

Petrusha the White · Mar 18, 2025

Y'know, it always annoys me when these prompt challenges give multiple prompts per day but they're not actually related to each other. Most of those actually do a pretty good job of being in the same category, but day one... mad scientists, codependency, and blasphemy? I could only see this 'working' if the prompt challenge is specifically "Heres x amount of unrelated concepts, include all of them together", but the rest of the days the prompts are all very easy to include together.

ETA: Though perhaps I'm being unfair and those concepts are already linked in the source material.

Still, I'm of the opinion that these prompts should restrict themselves to ONE concept. Vague is okay - people can do really creative stuff when their only prompt is some shit like "green" - but I feel like giving multiple options kinds of defeats the point of doing a daily/weekly prompt challenge.

Aunt Carol · Mar 18, 2025

Petrusha the White said:
but day one... mad scientists, codependency, and blasphemy? I could only see this 'working' if the prompt challenge is specifically "Heres x amount of unrelated concepts, include all of them together",

Those three work great together! Jeez; it's like you haven't even seen Stuart Gordon's Re-Animator series.

fist_of_khonshu · Mar 18, 2025

soft breathing said:
View attachment 7082990

If there's one thing I didn't need a mental image of, it's Meatcanyon as a catboy in heat. Really. I felt better 5 seconds ago.

These same retards did this to Jacksepticeye and Markiplier back in 2016ish, then got mad when the two distanced themselves from one another because of it. They actively get so delusional and unhinged that they start to believe the shit they write and then push it onto their favorite content creatores/celebrities with crazy intensity.
Then they wonder why they can't fucking have anything. It's like Tumblr with Finn Wolfhard, sexualizing him as a minor and writing these wierd fanfics about him. Really, any IRL Tumblr "sexyman" gets this treatment. But AO3 is an entirely different breed of cataclysmic fuck up.

Big Miss Steak · Mar 18, 2025

This fic is getting the trad publishing treatment and so has been taken down from AO3 and anywhere else the author hosted it. She has given her blessing for the original fic to be spread around (*), so surely she won't mind me attaching the pdf and epub to this post. The story is also actively shared around in various Harry Potter fanfiction communities. The upcoming novel is called Alchemised.

Links:

Manacled Goodreads - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52122096-manacled

Alchemised Goodreads - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/222490389-alchemised

Manacled Fanlore article: https://fanlore.org/wiki/Manacled

* This makes me suspect that Alchemised underwent many changes as it evolved from Manacled; more on that later. More info on Alchemised at the end of the post.

Manacled has a big fan following. It is often touted as THE Draco Malfoy/Hermoine fanfic (Dramoine), one of the best Harry Potter fics, and one of the best fics period. This fic was published in 2018 (and I think completed in 2019), although its popularity grew most after the fic was completed and peaked in 2024. I’m talking fanart, fanedits, merch, people printing and binding the fic, etc. Manacled has 121,600+ ratings on Goodreads and before it was deleted from AO3 at the end of 2024, it had over 10 million hits.

Alchemised has 400+ Goodreads ratings pre-publishing, so there is a decent contingency of fans waiting with bated breath for this to drop.

Manacled is a Harry Potter and Handmaid’s Tale mashup. Per Goodreads: Harry Potter is dead. In the aftermath of the war, in order to strengthen the might of the magical world, Voldemort enacts a repopulation effort. Hermione Granger has an Order secret, lost but hidden in her mind, so she is sent as an enslaved surrogate to the High Reeve until her mind can be cracked.

Not very descriptive. Luckily for the thread, I read the whole thing. Manacled is 370,000+ words and I read this on my Kindle. I won’t have quotes or screenshots to supplement my post so you will either have to read the story to verify my claims for yourself, or trust that I am telling the truth. In full disclosure, I was really skimming the last 20% or so.

Prose-wise, Manacled falls into a weird gulf. It’s better than 90% of fanfiction, but it’s not of the quality one would expect of edited work. The writing is very repetitive. Characters “twitch” their fingers, hands, mouths, and shoulders multiple times per chapter. Hermoine “sobs” hundreds of times. She has seizures and cries and collapses into a helpless heap so often that I started skimming when another episode began. Scenes will be brought to a grinding halt so Hermoine can have a mental breakdown at least once per chapter. This coupled with Hermoine’s endless, constant, detailed mental ruminations over the same old shit (her missing memories, the misery of her situation, how gorgeous Draco is, how mean Draco is being to her, how much the war sucks) means that this fic moves at a glacial pace.

But we’re not here to be line editors for fanfiction, and to be honest the episodic release of fanfics paired with the “live audience” constantly clamoring for more updates makes me a little more sympathetic to fics that spin their wheels plot-wise or could do with more editing. The real meat is the batshit plot.

Full disclosure, I am not much of a Harry Potter person, so there might be important characters or locations or events that went right past me. The author claims that this wasn’t written as she went but was instead plotted out ahead of time. I don’t believe her.

Hermoine is imprisoned in a soundless, lightless cell. She isn’t sure how much time has passed. She is unable to reach for magic. She has gaps in her memory, but she remembers that the Order of the Phoenix lost the war and she was captured. This means that Voldemort and his regime now reigns. She is yanked from this cell and given a full physical exam. She recognizes some of her captors (Umbridge, for example). She is told that due to the heavy losses sustained by the Death Eaters during the war, and due to Voldemort’s plan to increase the wizarding population (and I think take over the world but not 100% sure), he has implemented a breeding program. Any prisoner witch who is fertile is paired off with a pureblood family to be used as breeding stock. This is obviously where the Handmaid’s Tale influence comes in. Hermoine is found fertile and is going to be sent off to a pureblood family. There is some drama as it becomes apparent that Umbridge hid Hermoine away in some corner of the prison against Voldemort’s wishes. Hermoine has been imprisoned for over a year. How would Voldemort just forget about Hermoine, one of the top figures of the rebellion, for over a year? Beats me.

There is also much drama around Hermoine’s amnesia. It’s magically induced, with magical walls around certain parts of her memory. Voldemort suspects that she has walled off memories about some secret Order cell or something and wants those memories posthaste. The doctors tell him that brute forcing their way into her mind could shatter her psyche entirely, making the memories unreachable. However, magical pregnancies (a pregnancy with two magical parents), is known to do some sort of magical purge in the mother’s body and could be the key to getting her memories. Convenient.

Hermoine and several other witch prisoners are put through some sort of re-education program. They wear those funky hats and red dresses from Handmaid’s Tale, and are fitted with manacles that suppress their magic. They are charmed/cursed/whatever into following certain directives at all time, like being compliant, not hurting themselves, and not doing anything to prevent themselves from getting pregnant. We are supposed to recognize some of the characters being re-educated alongside Hermoine, but I don’t.

Hermoine is sent to Draco Malfoy, ofc. He’s been in an arranged marriage for some time but his wife is infertile. He’s rude and cold to Hermoine and at times can be quite verbally cruel, but he doesn’t beat her or starve her. A la Handmaid’s Tale, he must sleep Hermoine at regular intervals during her fertile window, but it’s cold and impassive and it seems to make him very uncomfortable. He makes Hermoine face away from him and seems to be unable to get out of there fast enough. His wife hates Hermoine. Hermoine is given her own room in the manor and is allowed to walk around as she pleases since Draco has so many charms and spells on her and the manor that she can’t do or say or even think anything without him knowing about it. Remember, she has absolutely no use of magic. When she isn’t being raped, Hermoine is subjected to agonizing mind-reading sessions with Draco, where he tries to force his way into her memories. Hermoine discovers she has severe agoraphobia and can hardly make it down the hallway unattended. She has constant emotional and mental breakdowns due to her… pickle. While understandable, it becomes a chore to read through.

Things carry on like this for some time. Hermoine continually fails to get pregnant. Draco continues to be an absolute monstrous jerk with occasional moments of brief softness or weakness, enough to make you realize something is putting him under significant strain and there’s something going on here that Hermoine (and we) aren’t seeing. Every once in a while, Hermoine is brought before Voldemort himself to get an update on Draco’s (lack of) progress in penetrating her memories. We learn that Draco is the High Reeve, basically Voldemort’s right hand man. He is incredibly powerful and can use more dark magic than anyone should be able to, more even than Voldemort, who has begun to weaken and fade from his constant use of the dark arts. IIRC from the books it eats away at your soul or something like that.

During a big Death Eater party at the manor, Hermoine overhears how the Death Eaters use their handmaidens as genuine rape slaves, subjecting them to horrific tortures and abuses. Hermoine thanks her stars that this isn’t how Draco treats her, and reasons that he just doesn’t get off to that sort of thing. To avoid the party, she goes through a walk in the garden and encounters a Death Eater who seems to remember her and really hate her. He starts violently assaulting her and Draco intervenes and literally slaughters him. The night’s events put Hermoine in a strange position where she feels a lot of gratitude for Draco, even though he’s a racist who rapes her on the regular, and verbally abuses her constantly.

Eventually Hermoine’s clinician starts flinging fertility potions at her and Hermoine gets knocked up. She is now petrified that her memories will be revealed, that her child will be ripped from her, and that she will be given to another pureblood family who will treat her worse. Draco shows a shocking amount of sympathy for her plight. The pregnancy is horrific, as apparently some magical pregnancies are, and he practically waits on her hand and foot. His wife attacks Hermoine in a jealous rage and half-rips Hermoine’s eye from her socket; Draco beats his wife’s ass and goes to great time and expense to heal Hermoine’s eye.

After some weeks, Hermoine’s pregnancy causes her memories to burst forth. We are now treated to flashbacks… for more than half of the story’s length. Most of it is entirely pointless, so I will summarize with more brevity.

Hermoine recalls huge swaths of the war that she had locked behind amnesia. It’s a lot of angst and strife and planning and interpersonal drama amongst the Order, none of which matters because we know they’re all dead. All you need to know is that every single Order member’s personality boils down to “be mean to Hermoine.” We also learn that a Death Eater reached out to the Order and offered to work with them on one condition. They wanted to be “given” Hermoine for their use, both during and after the war. It’s Draco ofc. Hermoine agrees and is fully expecting for Draco to rape her or whatever but instead he gives Hermoine information and bullies her for a bit and leaves. Things continue this way until he learns that she has been going on solo missions to replenish her alchemy stock. This enrages him and he insists she stop but she refuses. He settles for training her in combat and guarding her memories. Hermoine spends a lot of time agonizing over how much the war sucks and how she’s basically whoring herself out for the cause. Draco’s intel helps them pull off some clutch missions.

Draco arrives one day super injured and she goes to great time and expense to heal him. His injury is kind of important so I will explain it. He failed Voldemort in some way, so Voldemort used dark magic to carve runes into Draco’s back. These runes make him more ruthless, more daring, more single-minded, etc. Obvious to see how this could backfire on Voldy. In a desperate bid to heal him and preserve their only advantage in the war, she implants some sort of magical stone into his heart that protects him against dark magic.

Things progress in typical slow-burn fic fashion and Draco and Hermoine form this weird bond that I can’t really describe. Hermoine is the only one who recognizes that the Order is too naïve to really succeed, and Draco validates her suspicions. Hermoine is the only one who shows Draco a drop of consideration or pity. This results in them developing a sexual, pseudo-romantic (I say pseudo-romantic because they don’t have anything in common and seem to be bound by possessiveness only), extremely co-dependent and unhealthy relationship. They talk about running away together after the war.

Eventually the Order makes a major miscalculation and gets razed to the ground and Hermoine goes on a suicide mission but survives and is imprisoned. While imprisoned, she crams all her memories down deep. I don’t know why she wasn’t interrogated before she could do this.

Now we’re finally back in the present.

Hermoine and Draco have a heart-to-heart. He says he had to rape her because Voldemort was regularly seeing his memories. He says he had to be mean to her for the same reason. No. he could have sequestered her in some wing of the manor and jacked off into a cup and had that magically injected into Hermoine’s uterus with the excuse that the filthy mudblood was too loathsome for him to touch. Doubtful that Voldemort would have pressed him on this.

What’s even more insane is that Hermoine forgives Draco for all this. And she sets to work on a way to remove his Dark Mark and kill Voldemort once and for all so the two of them can go be a happy family somewhere.

He mocked her for the deaths of her friends, he taunted her with the fact that he killed a lot of them himself, he raped her, and she shrugs her shoulders and is fine with it.

She’s still agoraphobic and still has emotional breakdowns constantly.

I’ll be honest, I was skimming at this point.

Snape, who has been alive this whole time and is off doing his own undercover thing on another continent, is killed off and after a paragraph or so no one mentions it again. Hermoine bribes Lucius into helping her remove Draco’s mark. They fake Draco’s death and escape to some hideout in what I think is Asia, where Draco has been sequestering Ginny away to one day surprise Hermoine. Surprise. Ginny has given birth to her and the late Harry Potter’s son, who is now a toddler.

They dither around the safehouse. Ginny confronts Hermoine about being in love with her rapist and Hermoine tells her that she just wouldn’t understand. Draco and Hermoine pretty much just laze around and have various emotional breakdowns and twitching attacks. Their only plan seems to just be awkward and miserable in the safehouse with Ginny and her son James. Both Hermoine and Draco are content to slowly let Voldemort’s empire crumble as Voldemort wastes away from his overuse of black magic, but Ginny isn’t and she (somehow) finds some people willing to storm Voldemort’s lair with her. Hermoine builds Ginny a bomb to take. Ginny kills Voldemort and no one else survives the mission.

They watch the wizarding world begin to heal from Voldemort’s reign through the newspaper, reading about Death Eaters going on trial from afar. Draco seems to care little for Hermoine’s unborn daughter and Hermoine fears Draco won’t love the child.

Hermoine gives birth and although Draco at first has reservations about the infant (Aurore), saying that the sight of her reminds him of the MONTHS OF RAPE he subjected Hermoine to, he does soften up to her. Hermoine, Draco, Aurore, Ginny, and James are all one big happy family for a couple years until Ginny becomes dissatisfied with how slowly the wheels of justice are turning for the Death Eaters and moves to Britain with James so she can demand justice for all the RAPE SLAVES the Death Eaters kept, and she tells Hermoine that although she would be welcomed into society again, Draco never would be. Of course Hermoine chooses to remain sequestered with Draco, dooming herself and her daughter to a life of isolation. Aurore is devastated by the loss of her friend and never socializes like a normal child again.

It comes time for Aurore to go to school. She wants to go to Hogwarts but Hermoine doesn’t think her mentals could handle visiting Hogwarts to see her daughter so they make her go to school in New Zealand. Draco and Hermoine worry about her hearing about the horrors of the war, particularly the crimes the High Reeve (Draco) committed, in a classroom. They decide to tell her their side of the story themselves, presumably leaving out the dozens of times her dad raped her mom.

Jump to some years later and Aurore is visiting Britain for some reason and bumps into Ginny and James at a bookstore. She sees a new book on the war and her and James bond over how one-sided the book is (Hermoine’s participation and sacrifice of course still being largely unknown by the public, and rapist serial killer Draco’s soft and sweet side never being shown to anyone but Hermoine and Aurore). James and Aurore almost kiss. The end.

The big twist in Manacled is that Draco wasn’t treating Hermoine as poorly as he could have because he actually loved her and cared about her and had no other choice but to verbally abuse her and rape her. This is untrue, as I myself pointed out earlier that Draco could have easily avoided interacting with Hermoine at all. This means that the author wanted this “I may seem like I enjoy abusing you but I don’t” thing to happen between Draco and Hermoine, and the entirety of the story was contrived to suit this premise. I genuinely think that the author herself has suffered abuse, and her fantasy is that deep down her abuser didn’t want to do it and regrets it. If this is true, it sucks and the author has my sympathy.

But stories like these plant the idea in readers’ minds that abuse should be forgiven if your abuser apologizes. It should be forgiven if your abuser doesn’t abuse you as badly as they could have. That your abuser means it when they say sorry, or they say that they don’t want to do xyz. The reason this is so dangerous, and the reason I wrote this treatise, is because these are tactics that abusers use on their victims. “Well, I could have done worse to you. You made me do that. I don’t like hurting you, but I have to.”

SICK. DERANGED.

The big-ass flashback sequence taking up MORE THAN HALF THE STORY is all an attempt to weave a character (Draco) who is

A) possessive, devoted, driven by hatred for Voldemort, and supernaturally gifted in shoving aside his emotions and getting the job done

and IS NOT

B) solely a crazy and obsessed rapist, so that it will make sense when he says he didn’t want to rape and verbally abuse Hermoine and when she forgives him.

It fails. The reason the middle two quarters of this story are a meandering slog is because you can’t write Character A and also have him scream at and rape the love of his life for months on end. Character A would have done literally anything to avoid what Draco actually put Hermoine through. He would have killed her and then himself if that’s what it took.

All of Manacled is an excuse to have characters from fiction the author liked (Harry Potter) in a situation where they acted out her specific fantasy. This is no better than any other fetish fic or porn without plot fic.

The Alchemised Goodreads summary: In this riveting dark fantasy debut, a woman with missing memories fights to survive a war-torn world of necromancy and alchemy—and the man tasked with unearthing the deepest secrets of her past.

“What is it you think you’re protecting in that brain of yours? The war is over. Holdfast is dead. The Eternal Flame extinguished. There’s no one left for you to save.”

Once a promising alchemist, Helena Marino is now a prisoner—of war and of her own mind. Her Resistance friends and allies have been brutally murdered, her abilities suppressed, and the world she knew destroyed.

In the aftermath of a long war, Paladia’s new ruling class of corrupt guild families and depraved necromancers, whose vile, undead creatures helped bring about their victory, holds Helena captive.

According to Resistance records, she was a healer of little importance within their ranks. But Helena has inexplicable memory loss of the months leading up to her capture, making her enemies wonder: Is she truly as insignificant as she appears, or are her lost memories hiding some vital piece of the Resistance’s final gambit?

To uncover the memories buried deep within her mind, Helena is sent to the High Reeve, one of the most powerful and ruthless necromancers in this new world. Trapped on his crumbling estate, Helena’s fight—to protect her lost history and to preserve the last remaining shreds of her former self—is just beginning. For her prison and captor have secrets of their own . . . secrets Helena must unearth, whatever the cost.

My Predictions:

The entire handmaid/repopulation element has been removed
Hermoine/Helena will still be prisoner within the High Reeve’s manor, but as a “you can walk around freely but not leave” slave like Belle in Beauty and the Beast
All the rape has been removed as a result of the repopulation plotline being dropped
We will still have the story grind to a halt for the flashback dump but that it will be way shorter
Hermoine/Helena will not have had a relationship to the High Reeve that she totally forgot
Hermoine/Helena will get pregnant but it will be from her and the High Reeve falling in love and banging and not as the result of rape
There will still be a big bad Voldemort/evil king figure
Every member of the resistance still treats Hermoine/Helena like garbage
Hermoine/Helena still forgives her abuser and they have their gross happy ending

I will 100% be reading Alchemised when it comes out to compare

Vecr · Mar 18, 2025

Big Miss Steak said:
Prose-wise, Manacled falls into a weird gulf. It’s better than 90% of fanfiction, but it’s not of the quality one would expect of edited work. The writing is very repetitive. Characters “twitch” their fingers, hands, mouths, and shoulders multiple times per chapter. Hermoine “sobs” hundreds of times. She has seizures and cries and collapses into a helpless heap so often that I started skimming when another episode began. Scenes will be brought to a grinding halt so Hermoine can have a mental breakdown at least once per chapter. This coupled with Hermoine’s endless, constant, detailed mental ruminations over the same old shit (her missing memories, the misery of her situation, how gorgeous Draco is, how mean Draco is being to her, how much the war sucks) means that this fic moves at a glacial pace.

Better or worse than Eragon?

Big Miss Steak said:
His wife attacks Hermoine in a jealous rage and half-rips Hermoine’s eye from her socket; Draco beats his wife’s ass and goes to great time and expense to heal Hermoine’s eye.

What?

Big Miss Steak · Mar 18, 2025

Vecr said:
Better or worse than Eragon?

I'm reading Eragon atm and it's not as bad as everyone says, but it's not exactly good either. I think the plot and characters are a lot less immature in Manacled than in Eragon. Eragon is very predictable even if you haven't read/watched Star Wars or LotR. But the sentence by sentence writing is worse in Manacled imo. It's honestly hard to say, kind of like comparing apples to oranges.

Vecr said:
What?

Draco's wife (Astoria) is jealous of all the attention Draco is giving Hermoine. He dislikes his wife and basically ignores her, allowing her to have various affairs with other men. Astoria also has a complex about being infertile. She attacks Hermoine and digs her wand into Hermoine's eye, almost ripping it entirely from the socket.

Draco interrupts and beats Astoria's ass.

Draco procures extremely expensive potions for Hermoine and learns complex healing to restore her sight. This requires healing sessions multiple times per day.

Fanfiction Horrors

Chandelier

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Tri-Tachyon'sClown

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soft breathing

god has left the building a long time ago.

Dr. Arinsu

Queen of The Hell Known As Q&A.

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Catboi

Actually a catgirl

Paper Machete

soft breathing

god has left the building a long time ago.

Catboi

Actually a catgirl

Chandelier

I don't want peace. I want problems always

Chandelier

I don't want peace. I want problems always

Chandelier

I don't want peace. I want problems always

Chandelier

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Petrusha the White

Stavrogin Respecter

Aunt Carol

four-letter word for a female

fist_of_khonshu

Big Miss Steak

Visible from a mile away

Attachments

Vecr

DM if I don't respond.

Big Miss Steak

Visible from a mile away