cauliflour is lame
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2024
4chan blocked my ip address. Don't know why exactly so yeah, here I am.
For the past 7 ish months, I've been feeling more and more stressed and I feel like I'm gonna get burnt out really soon but I can't deal with that right now as I have exams coming up and work that I need finishing ASAP. I have college work that I have to complete by Friday and I keep wasting my time doing god knows what so I've been doing all nighters just to get it done but I end up wasting time and get little sleep and I just feel like a wreck.
I don't even have that much really, I'm just really pathetic. I can't just "relax" because it barely works and just feels like a waste of time but when I do work and study I just get less and less focused to the point where it feels like I'm wasting my day over and over. It doesn't help that my parents are spending a crap ton of money on me and I'm fucking it up. They don't deserve me but I can't kill myself because then all the money they poured into me would be a waste and they really care about me so they would be depressed but I don't want to hurt them to make them hate me. I've been hiding my mental problems from them for years, even though they're not really problems because everything is all my fault because I'm a shitty person who can't get their life together and I'm so sick of being shit but what can I do about it apart from groan about the most first world of problems on 4chan so people i know in real life won't try getting me a therapist.
I'm so fucking tired of being myself. I hate myself so fucking much. I want to rip out my lungs so I can't waste any more oxygen but people care about me so I can't because I don't want to hurt them. They're good people, they don't deserve to need a therapist because of me. I want to just quit college and spend my life making games but I need the qualifications so I can have a decent future and make my parent proud. I can't do what I need to desperately do because coursework is due this week and I take all eternity to do anything these days but I don't know what to do. :')
I barely use this website so I figured this was the closest to any kind of venting board. I feel more like shit now as I can't talk about video games on 4chan. Anyway, feel free to cyberbully me: I deserve it.
For the past 7 ish months, I've been feeling more and more stressed and I feel like I'm gonna get burnt out really soon but I can't deal with that right now as I have exams coming up and work that I need finishing ASAP. I have college work that I have to complete by Friday and I keep wasting my time doing god knows what so I've been doing all nighters just to get it done but I end up wasting time and get little sleep and I just feel like a wreck.
I don't even have that much really, I'm just really pathetic. I can't just "relax" because it barely works and just feels like a waste of time but when I do work and study I just get less and less focused to the point where it feels like I'm wasting my day over and over. It doesn't help that my parents are spending a crap ton of money on me and I'm fucking it up. They don't deserve me but I can't kill myself because then all the money they poured into me would be a waste and they really care about me so they would be depressed but I don't want to hurt them to make them hate me. I've been hiding my mental problems from them for years, even though they're not really problems because everything is all my fault because I'm a shitty person who can't get their life together and I'm so sick of being shit but what can I do about it apart from groan about the most first world of problems on 4chan so people i know in real life won't try getting me a therapist.
I'm so fucking tired of being myself. I hate myself so fucking much. I want to rip out my lungs so I can't waste any more oxygen but people care about me so I can't because I don't want to hurt them. They're good people, they don't deserve to need a therapist because of me. I want to just quit college and spend my life making games but I need the qualifications so I can have a decent future and make my parent proud. I can't do what I need to desperately do because coursework is due this week and I take all eternity to do anything these days but I don't know what to do. :')
I barely use this website so I figured this was the closest to any kind of venting board. I feel more like shit now as I can't talk about video games on 4chan. Anyway, feel free to cyberbully me: I deserve it.
