Anna o' Brien / Glitter + Lazers / GlitterandLazers - Fat, drunk, consoomer attention whore who would rather eat and drink herself to death than endure a single negative emotion

[The Queen of Autists]

I was just watching a video about "glow ups" as a trend on TikTok*, and after watching these pretty little barely 20-somethings spackle and shave and strap their faces into submission on a regular basis just to avoid looking 25, it actually made seeing Anna's sloppiness all the more jarring. Compared to some of the most popular young ladies on TikTok, Anna looks like a she belongs to a separate species.

Her pivot to munchiedom is wise on her part when you know who she's competing against - I don't think she'd last 15 minutes into one of these girls' 2-hour morning routines involving injected supplements, cardio/strength training on an empty stomach, red light therapy and a 25-step shower routine that uses butt masks. It's almost tragic that her only worth in advertising now requires letting a fraud sever parts of her to encourage others to do the same, but, well, it is Anna, after all. Consider it karmic retribution for Data's mistreatment.

*For anyone curious, this was the video I watched. I don't usually watch this Youtuber so I don't know if she's a dipshit, but I found the video illuminating all the same.

I’d rather be Anna than one of those girls. I’d take the 500 hundred pounds and shorter life over that level of looks obsession, I just couldn’t do it, I’m a tomboy sort. Well maybe I could because being as big as Anna would be physically painful but I would really hate having to do a 25 step shower routine with butt masks!

It would be neat if one of us could invent an in ground hidden scale that sends the data remotely that we could hide somewhere all of the gorls live. We could throw it out there like how they do spike strips in a police chase and then reel it back in. It wouldn’t be cow tipping if they had no idea what was going on would it? It’s just data collection…

 

[Peripatetic Nomad]

Anna is not, and never will be a “typical” patient. Sure I made a mistake and meant to say 10lbs each arm (20lb overall plus the calves), and I’ll stand by that. BTW, a FUPA is the mons pubis, NOT the pannus.

ETA: added a word.

I know what the colloquialism FUPA means (fatty upper pubic area), but it is also sometimes referred to as the panniculus. Incorrectly IMO, which is why I edited it out a few minutes after I wrote it. I then deleted the entire post because I thought it didn't fully answer the question regarding apron belly, so I don't know why you're even bringing it up.

As for you now backpedaling and claiming you meant to say Anna lost 20 total pounds from her brachioplasty not 40 [X], and then doubling down, I likewise stand by my contention that in the U.S. the standard of care is for physicians to remove no more than 12 pounds total during a liposuction/brachioplasty. No ethically responsible physician would exceed that because it would be considered negligence to do so. Perhaps the standard is different in your country (Australia?).

Either way, I think we have flogged this dead horse long enough, and I suggest we simply agree to disagree. Whatever the amount that was removed from Anna's arms, I think it was ill-advised and that she needs to focus on lifestyle changes to lose weight instead of letting these doctors chop fat off her bit by bit.

 

[duckling]

She’s very unbothered by last year’s bagel drama

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Wow she is edging ever closer to the bedbound era - look at how close she comes to rolling her ankles over the sides of those hokas, and there’s like 2 in of platform foam too. She’s wobbling in them the whole time because of how badly she compressed the foam. At minimum when she rolls one out she will severely fuck up her connective tissue but I think she’d snap an ankle or totally fuck her knee.

 

[Lvkester Endorser]

Deathfat knees always appear to look backwards. Look at Anna, Tess, and Evie and I’m sure you’ll see what I see. You seriously can’t tell the front view from the back view.

Its that and the fact that normal legs go like I I
But the obese people's legs go like X
Idk how else to explain it.

 

[Free the Pedos]

Its that and the fact that normal legs go like I I
But the obese people's legs go like X
Idk how else to explain it.

It’s called knock knees or genu valgum.

 

[Otterly]

watching these pretty little barely 20-somethings spackle and shave and strap their faces into submission on a regular basis just to avoid looking 25,

None of that is good for young skin, which should be left alone, as most kept clean, light sun exposure not burning, and lightly moisturised. These girls are going to look like old handbags when they’re 30. Constantly slapping on makeup and stripping it off ages you. Fillers age you. Just leave it alone. The people I know who look younger than their age are the ones who never smoked, don’t tan excessively, and don’t wear heavy makeup.
Heeeeeeeeeed my warning.

 

[Chococat3012]

She’s very unbothered by last year’s bagel drama

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She looks and acts like an old uncle at the wedding

 

[I call shenanigans]

I know what the colloquialism FUPA means (fatty upper pubic area), but it is also sometimes referred to as the panniculus

Fuck off! It is and always has meant the mons pubis.

 

[Flourishing Pinecone ❧]

Its that and the fact that normal legs go like I I
But the obese people's legs go like X
Idk how else to explain it.

or there's people like Tammy whose legs go like ( )

 

[tj0p00tert00t]

She’s very unbothered by last year’s bagel drama

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Guys, can we stop with the nitpicking med stuff and focus on THIS?

She was "dosing off" meds and was an emotional wreck! That's what caused her to cry over her bagel (and wig out over cotton candy AND make fun of kids dancing on the street, I guess)! All of us meanie doody poopy heads thought that would make people hate her but IT DIDN'T. Anna thought it was hilarious! So funny she never thought about it or brought it up again until her new awesome Bagel Babe sweatshirt reminded her of it! So she thought she'd do this little "remember when" video and get a good hearty chuckle over how stupid everyone is! Look how unbothered she is as she lumbers painfully around her new and already filthy luxury apartment with her sweaty scabby face and her unwashed grown out hair. She just LAUGHS AND LAUGHS at how wrong we all have it about her!

She was always a shell of a person but this "I'm so unbothered by everything" persona she's doubling down on lately paired with her ramped up insistence that she's a size 18 or whatever and sleeps on a twin bed is evidence of the impending doom we've all been waiting for. It also appears that Jon is totally gone, at least from her day to day. Makes me wonder if she's overcompensating with the new expensive apartment to convince herself she's still on the up and up when she's clearly nosediving to rock bottom (if there ever is one for her).

 

[HamFan]

Is the reddit thread more interesting and on track right now?

I wonder why the bagel thing got to her so bad. There was also the cotton candy, the hot dogs. The cheese pie. People constantly point out how shitty her eating habits are for a fitness queen dealing with autoimmune disorders. Not "getting mad," just stating the obvious, and laughing at her. I wonder how the bagel thing in particular penetrated her internet meanie shield. She's still thinking about it months later. Good thing she totally actually found it hilarious.

Maybe, deep down, even she knows how stupid it looked. Fat girl crying because she got (and ate) a bagel, but it was the wrong flavor! Boo hoo!

 

[Constellationzero]

Wow she is edging ever closer to the bedbound era - look at how close she comes to rolling her ankles over the sides of those hokas, and there’s like 2 in of platform foam too. She’s wobbling in them the whole time because of how badly she compressed the foam. At minimum when she rolls one out she will severely fuck up her connective tissue but I think she’d snap an ankle or totally fuck her knee.

I'm sorry.

I was too busy being ocularly assaulted by that extremely WIDE, heavily hail damaged FLAT toad ass (already in compression garments).

I didn't notice over the fucking SMELL.

 

[OttoWest]

Here’s the text from her “I’m so not bother” bagel vid:

Last year before my first surgery, while I was dosing off meds to prep for anesthesia and as result a total emotional mess. I cried over a bagel. The trolls of the internet lost their dang minds and went in hard. I know they thought all the videos the made of how awful I was for crying over said bagel would hurt me or make people hate me. Instead, I thought it was freaking hilarious and literally the dumbest reason anyone ever been mad at me. I'm a proud bagel babe. Sometimes you just need to get your emotions out and sometimes that happens over a bagel.

The face of the unbothered:


No one “lost their mind” watching a 500 lb middle aged woman cry over a bagel. It was hilarious and only added another delicious chapter to the buttery rich text of Annalore.

Interesting that her interpretation of the trolling is that it was 1) meant to hurt her and 2) make people “hate” her. She really is stuck in a junior high mindset, trying to rewrite her life as a Cinderella story of fat friendless nerd turned celebrated influencer babe.

 

[The Jewel of the Nile]

I know that trying to appeal to a lolcow's sense of shame is a sisyphean task, but come on, Anna- you’re 40. Bragging about being ‘unbothered by the trolls of the internet’ is something I'd expect from a teenager in 2012, not a grown woman

 

[Artificial Baits]

Keep eating bagels Anna, keep being totally unbothered, keep pretending to have this amazing life full of REAL friends you didn't pay for or meet at influencer functions, keep dunking on those meanie haters who can stand up and cut a fucking onion, because you're totally winning and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise!! It's not your fault the lipedoma is now in your neck and face, it's your silent illnesses, your damaged lymphatic system, obesity genes, EDS, auto immune and myriad of other problems. You can't help you ballooned back up to pretty much your biggest weight and those HaYdUrs will never understand your, special and unique struggles. They just laugh at you because you ate a bagel but you have the last laugh, don't you ever forget! They are probably just jealous of you!

 

[Dr. Armchair]

i think she’s just enjoying the sensation…

 

[Constellationzero]

Corporate needs you to find the difference between these two pictures.

 

[duckling]

I wonder why the bagel thing got to her so bad.

I think it is because she truly felt she deserved the bagel as a reward for how hard she worked, lumbering the half mile or whatever to get it. The internet mocking her because her expected reward was disproportionate to the effort, and her getting so upset over it while sharing a vulnerable moment that she thought was relatable instead of just embarrassing, was a deep ego wound beyond making fun of her eating and “exercise” separately.

 

[melty]

She’s very unbothered by last year’s bagel drama

I absolutely hate when she does these stupid little dances and ends with a big, full maw, performative guffaw. Dancing by yourself in your kitchen just isn't that entertaining.

 

[JambledUpWords]

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i think she’s just enjoying the sensation…

#BodyByBagels

Seriously though, I’m surprised she didn’t get two bagels like this as a reward instead of just one:

If there’s anything I know about bagels in NYC, it’s that they pile on the cream cheese.