Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Slavic Patronym]

In a short, upbeat video titled "Lazy Man's Ice Cream," JACK demonstrates a no-fuss recipe for a creamy treat using just three ingredients

I'm gonna guess this means Jack told ChatGPT or Claude or whatever to remember his name is JACK. Because he was typing in all caps, like the Boomer he spiritually is.

With close-up shots of the creamy texture and a final taste test— with an honest review, the video wraps up with a simple message: delicious ice cream doesn’t need to be complicated.

This was not written like that by the AI, because it's riddled with fail. Em-dash with space on one side and not the other. Two clauses in a row that start with the same word ("with"). An em-dash and a colon in the same sentence.

There's no rule against this stuff; it's just shoddy fucking work that an AI tool wouldn't provide. So Jack can't even copy and paste right. That, or he's trying and failing horribly to "be creative" and mix and match and add his own flair on top of what the AI gives him.

Whip cream with mixer until it’s like whip cream.

Forgive me, but isn't it whipped cream? I had to read this sentence three times to understand it.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Jack apparently thinks Hallmark specifically gets pharma advertisers



Rich for Jack to say anyone else is stupid



Saint Jack is wanting to help others become content creators



New letters from Jack



Where's that love when you electrocuted a dog for funsies and choking your own son, no less anyone who disagrees with you



"CONSERVATIVES SMART, LIBERALS DUMB"



Jack just wants other people to promote him



So arresting people is the most important thing in the world right now



Shameless self-promotion from Jack



I'm going to get on my soapbox here, but fuck off Jack. All you do with AI is treat it as a toy to make retarded memes that anyone could've made with a little image editing and a shortcut for recipes because you're incapable of coming up with any original recipes of your own. You (along with the people who promote the product as lazy shortcuts) are part of the problem with how AI is being used for stupid bullshit because you're a low IQ retard. Apologies for my rant, Jack can say or do things that just really makes you really MATI

 

[Barsik]

LAZY MAN'S ICE CREAM #easyrecipe #quickrecipe​

View attachment 7148909

Holy fuck he sounds SO GROSS in this video. At 5:38 he makes disgusting noises as he desperately tries to lower the mixing bowl. And he sounds so nasty and phlegmy during the tasting bit at the end holy fuck. He is fucking rotting away

 

[Super Hans v2]

Jack apparently thinks Hallmark specifically gets pharma advertisers

Thr biggest demo for Hallmark is old women and, aside from troons, per person are Big Pharma's biggest cash cow. It's like how shit like how payday loan ads are on BET or reverse mortgages on cable news.

 

[p1138]

Thr biggest demo for Hallmark is old women and, aside from troons, per person are Big Pharma's biggest cash cow. It's like how shit like how payday loan ads are on BET or reverse mortgages on cable news.

Sure but because he sits around watching cable TV all day every day, and isn't out actually doing anything(not even actual "work" for his stupid shows) he doesn't understand that advertisers target different demographics, and he's viewing ads all day that aren't meant for men in their 50s providing for their family(because he doesn't know anything about that either).

 

[Falcon Sebben]

And then what? Ice cream maker, freezer set, etc.? I only make ices that don’t require an ice cream maker. (We make a lot of granitas throughout the summer. Those are just shoved in the freezer and forked through periodically until it reaches the desired consistency.)

Thread tax: I’m surprised Jack hasn’t tried to make a meatsicle yet.

If you have access to a decent stand mixer and some liquid nitrogen you can make liquid nitrogen ice cream.

Make any base you want, stick it in the mixer with the paddle attachment and stir while pouring in some liquid nitrogen. Freezes it in seconds. The quick cooling results in a very creamy ice cream as the ice crystals are so small.

View attachment 7142697
Shame he isn't even remotely this wholesome or likeable.

That's actually really well done. Too bad it's Fatty.

Jack spends $$$ on some fancy real podcaster's mic then looks to the side to read his food news.

No only did he use WAY too much cocoa but he puts the dirty spoon back into the tub like an animal.

 

[Barsik]

No only did he use WAY too much cocoa but he puts the dirty spoon back into the tub like an animal.

He's just asserting his dominance and letting Tammy know that this tub is HIS alone

Also, notice how the bite on the spoon was pre scooped before the cut, probably had to have Tammy do it because he can't do it with 1 hand

 

[Skwisgaar Skwigelf]

[The World needs more] Arrests

Jack needs a cardiac arrest.

 

[Marc]

probably had to have Tammy do it because he can't do it with 1 hand

If Jack edited footage of himself taking his own dick out of his pants and tucking it back in before walking out of frame, it would include 138 jump cuts, the hands on any clock visible in the background would advance five and a half hours, frames could be compared to prove that he is wearing three different pairs of pants over the course of the clip, and you wouldn't actually see him replace his dick or walk - It would cut to him sitting on his couch, asserting that he had performed both actions, with a coat draped over his lap.

Damn straight he isn't scooping his own ice cream.

 

[souschef]

Jack spends $$$ on some fancy real podcaster's mic then looks to the side to read his food news.

Just buy a sorbet machine and make something not heart attack inducing instead of whatever the fuck that was

 

[AnOminous]

He put 1 to 1.5 cups of cocoa powder in that mess, rather than the 1/4 cup listed in the recipe. That must have been so bitter! And he doesn't seem to realize that ice cream needs certain ingredients in it to not freeze like a solid block of ice.

This recipe (when done correctly) doesn't do that, probably because the whipped cream has air incorporated into it. It's not quite like actually churned ice cream, but it's reasonably good for what it is, and works without an ice cream machine.

The texture and flavor must have been absolutely awful with that much cocoa, though, and that's so much it also probably fucked up the texture. It would be gritty and nasty and bitter.

This is such an easy recipe to do. It's always amazing when he fucks up something a child could do (this particular ice cream is literally the sort of thing you would give a small child to do to teach them). Jack is so fucking retarded he's dumber than a small child.

Also, notice how the bite on the spoon was pre scooped before the cut, probably had to have Tammy do it because he can't do it with 1 hand

I assume from a combo of not whipping the cream enough and adding way too much of a solid ingredient, he froze it into a rock.

 

[souschef]

This is such an easy recipe to do. It's always amazing when he fucks up something a child could do (this particular ice cream is literally the sort of thing you would give a small child to do to teach them). Jack is so fucking retarded he's dumber than a small child.

I monitor children cooking once a week. They are, in fact, more capable of cooking than Jack

 

[AnOminous]

Just buy a sorbet machine and make something not heart attack inducing instead of whatever the fuck that was

I have a really simple sorbet, no machine needed. Take watermelon, cut it into small cubes, freeze them. Then blend them in a blender, add a bit of lemon juice to taste, and maybe sugar (the watermelon is sweet enough but you might get a less sweet one out of season).

Then either freeze it some more while occasionally stirring, or just consume immediately.

 

[souschef]

I have a really simple sorbet, no machine needed. Take watermelon, cut it into small cubes, freeze them. Then blend them in a blender, add a bit of lemon juice to taste, and maybe sugar (the watermelon is sweet enough but you might get a less sweet one out of season).

Then either freeze it some more while occasionally stirring, or just consume immediately.

Used to do this a lot as a kid, it's also a very popular treat that's sold on the beach, either just fruit or some varieties with milk, we call it a geladinho



Ice cream and derivatives are super straightfoward and once again Jack surprises us by fucking up something simple

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Rich for Jack to retweet something that critiques endless consumption which is a good point but JACK YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM



Even when Jack explains himself he is still stroke brained so it's not helpful



Jack saying random stuff he heard from others

 

[AnOminous]

Used to do this a lot as a kid, it's also a very popular treat that's sold on the beach, either just fruit or some varieties with milk, we call it a geladinho

I sometimes fancy it up a bit, usually not, though. Some alternates are adding mint and/or rosewater for a more Persian type flavor.

 

[charlesdickens]

With all of the things Jack does/says, a minor consistent one that always annoys me if how he always uses "we" when referring to any of his channels. He wants this image where he has a production crew and a kitchen studio.

 

[brooky]

Is he... angry that Hallmark might lose advertisers? Happy? Concerned? Amused? Why does he care so much about Hallmark at all? I'm very confused.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Is he... angry that Hallmark might lose advertisers? Happy? Concerned? Amused? Why does he care so much about Hallmark at all? I'm very confused.

Happy because his wife probably watches it a lot

 

[Slavic Patronym]

Watched the first 25 minutes of Jack's livestream today! Apologies in advance for the political nature of some of this post. The chat was absolutely hammering him today on the subject of food stamps, which he was famously on as a child. I have my opinions, but no matter where you come down on the issue (i.e., should people on food stamps be allowed to buy snack food?), Jack is obviously the shittiest ambassador possible for any side's philosophy.

Anyway, let's get to it!

Someone asks Jack if he has anything special planned for his 2000th episode.

Jack admits he has no idea how far or how close he is to Episode #2000. ("Sorry guys," he says. "Paying attention to everything can be a little overwhelming!") He then figures he would just do another Bacon Explosion anyway. Creative, this man!

Taco Bell is coming up with 30 new menu items. We're gonna go in and purchase some of 'em. Like the tacos where the shell is made out of cheese -- I think that's interesting. I'd love to know the ingredients.

It's Taco Bell, dude. By definition it is always the same five ingredients, reconfigured. How have you gorged on fast food your entire life and not figured this out?

Timestamp: 8:50.

I swear, it sounds like Jack says, "Hey, Dark Skin, what's up?"

Someone in chat: Jack, did I miss the one-year carnivore update video?

Jack [quickly, with a snarl]: No. You didn't miss it. I haven't done it yet. Too many other things going on. I've got some remodel work for my faith-based channel. Some more tech videos. I'm working on so many other things, I just haven't had the time to sit down and write out what we're going to talk about.

You'd think that, given how obsessed Jack was with proving people wrong by doing carnivore and how petty and grudge-holding he is in general, he would be rushing to publish proof that he's much better off today than he was when he started a year ago. But suddenly, he's so, so busy, you guys -- he's more busy than anyone could possibly conceive!

If he really thinks vegetables are poison and only eating animal products has cured his apnea, his diabetes, and whatever the fuck else, why would he sit on those results? They're life-changing! He filmed himself administering a test that disproves established medical science! What is there to "sit down" and "write out"? Share the OG data, today's data, and the deltas. Why's that so hard?

Oh, right. Because he's a liar; carnivore failed; he's actively dying; and everyone who advised or begged him not to do it was right. So now we get to see him spend the rest of his days running from the narc wound of admitting that.

Someone in chat: I'm here from Atlanta, Georgia, where cornbread booties fill up the bleachers.

If you go to timestamp 10:52, you can see Jack read this to himself very slowly.

Someone in chat: Sorry about your wife.

Jack: Uh... yeah. Heh. You guys keep that talk about her boobs goin' for the next hour we're going to be live.

Quite confused by this. My understanding is this stream was his second today, because he fucked up the first by streaming it to his personal channel. I wonder if on that first stream, Jack revealed a medical update for Tammy? No clue. But in any case, his smirking reaction to someone expressing their condolences is strange.

"Should people on EBT be able to make carnivore ice cream?" asks someone in chat.

Jack's reply: Not a clue on what that question means.

Right after this, someone trolls Jack in a way he is never capable of seeing: by stating his position back to him accurately, but without spin. The person asserts that Jack is right: People on EBT should only be allowed to eat what other people tell them to eat!

When Jack hears it put that way, he of course says that's not what he's doing. But then he instantly triples down on his belief that people on EBT should not be allowed to buy chips or soda or donuts with those funds. His reasoning: Those aren't "normal foods" and you don't have to eat them to "survive."

Right, because alligator stuffed with gumbo or whatever the fuck he made with Paul is "normal food." Shaving Cheeto dust into your macaroni and cheese is normal and a requisite for human survival. But a low-income family shouldn't be able to use their food stamps to buy chips and soda for their Fourth of July BBQ.

Jack continues; And if you wanna argue about that, have fun talking to yourself. Because there's no way you're going to change my mind!

The words of an open-minded critical thinker.

Someone types this quote into the chat, which Jack mutters aloud: "Will you reward us for the virtue of starving while others ate?"

I had never heard this quote before, so to Google I went. Apparently it's from a novel called The Dispossessed and the quote is from a character who is challenging the idea that others should get to tell him when he should suffer, especially when the people telling him how it's such a blessing to suffer are themselves doing quite well.

Jack admits he has "no idea what the frick you're talking about" but still gets mad and scornfully dismisses the quote as "a sob story of some sort."

Jack: If you're on food stamps, you don't get to sit on the couch and watch Judge Judy and eat freakin' donuts.

If I'm a waitress or a machinist or a truck driver and I get home after a long night shift, why the FUCK do I not get to watch Judge Judy and eat some donuts?!?

Cactus Jack: People need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

Jack: There you go, Cactus Jack! I agree!

This was a troll, because the idea of "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps" originated as a joke meant to demonstrate the impossible. Some know this, some don't, but those who don't tend to use the quote the most. Jack, naturally, doesn't know this, and thus owns himself.

Jack: We are luckily pulling out of the nosedive of America.

This has been caused by our laziness, Jack says, which is reflected in our desire to work remotely, bring our phones with us to the bathroom, and caring if our managers or coworkers like us.

Jack: How many times have you been at a conference and they say, "Raise your hand if you like your job!" and no one's hand in the room went up? Mine did! I love what I do! It's so much fun!

Yeah, I bet that's so hard: doing what you love for a living when your lifestyle of constant eating out, new homes and vacations is subsidized by someone else and their rich parents. Inspiring. Brave. The American dream that Fievel the mouse was in search of.

[Jack Lore Update]

Jack: I used to DJ at a steakhouse!

Holy shit.

I was paid fairly decent [sic] to be a DJ at this nightclub that was part of the steakhouse.

That makes slightly more sense, but still. Was this big in the '80s? Steakhouses that doubled as nightclubs?

The manager didn't like me because I made more money than him.

I'm sure that was the only reason.

So I told him to his face, "Learn how to DJ if you don't like the money you're making!" So I'm telling you guys, if you don't like the money you're making, go in another direction. Learn how to code. Branch off and work for yourself. Nobody says you gotta do what you're doing. If you don't like it, get out of it. Go make the money you want to make.

This advice is the butt-baby of Deepak Chopra and Tony Robbins. Spoken like a true manchild who's never worked an honest day in his life, and has less than zero insight into the current job market for white-collar professionals.

Software engineers are having a terrible time getting hired right now, because their skill set is no longer rare, they expect a ton of money and perks, and the job is extremely outsourceable (mainly to India but also to Eastern Europe and South America). But hey, if you don't want to "learn to code" you can just start your own business! Simple enough. Thanks, Jack.

Jack: If you're a content creator, I'd love to help you out! Reach out to me, let me know what you need, we can talk. I don't care if you have one subscriber!

If they have one subscriber who actually respects them, then that would be one more than Jack has. Also, whispers of the failed Jack Pack™ live rent-free in Jack's mind, forever.

Stray Observations

• I believe this is already known but Jack will be in Chicago this September for the newest installment of Pizza Wars
  • He says he will have a bite of each pizza so he can judge
    • Imagine doing this with Jack -- flying out to another state to partake in this bullshit for his dead channel and egoist fantasies -- and when you get there it's just him watching you eat the whole time. Why anyone would participate in this is beyond me.
      • Though I suppose, if his church acquaintance Robert is any indication, the answer is mostly pity.
• "Food News" will now become its own segment; Jack is mainly doing this because Charles told him to
• Jack and Paul use Signal to talk about "private stuff" (right) as do some of Jack's "government friends" (of course!)