Culture Jessica Simpson Has Been Drinking Snake Sperm to Help Her Vocals

Jessica Simpson‘s secret to good vocals? Snake sperm. In a silly Instagram Reel she shared over the weekend, Simpson said she’s been taking a syrup-like supplement to help her with her vocal performance — its contents were a mystery until a a recent Google search.

“They’re like, ‘What are you drinking?’ It’s this Chinese herb thing. I’m like ‘I don’t know. My vocal coach told me to drink it,'” Simpson explained in the clip. “And they Googled it and it’s snake sperm. It’s like a honey,” Simpson said, letting out a laugh.

“If you want a good vocal, you gotta drink snake sperm!” she added.

The silly vocal remedy comes just 10 days after the singer released her EP, Nashville Canyon, Pt. 1. She spoke to Rolling Stone about working on her album from East Nashville and co-writing the tracks with producer JD McPherson.

“A lot of people are like, ‘I didn’t really listen to your music in the past, but I respected you as a singer, and I feel like this is the most you you’ve ever been,’” Simpson told Rolling Stone ahead of the album. “To me, that is success.”



The EP featured five tracks including “Leave Me,” “Use My Heart Against Me,” and “Breadcrumbs.” The project marked her first project release since 2010’s Happy Christmas, although she dropped a one-off single, titled “Particles” in 2021.

Simpson also made her first stage appearance since 2010 earlier this month, performing covers of “Son of a Preacher Man” and “These Boots Are Made for Walkin'” along with renditions of her EP’s songs during a Texas show.

“This time I needed to remember who I was and why I wanted to sing in the first place and all the music that inspires me,” Simpson said. “And I needed to forget who they told me to be.”

source: https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/jessica-simpson-snake-sperm-help-vocals-1235306897/
archive: https://archive.md/zrnyD

 

[Blewberry Nausea]

Does anyone really care now that she’s old and unappealing sexually?

 

[Super Malario]

Someone please keep the white women away from the animals

 

[Baguette Child]

Yeah, that picture kinda looks like I'd imagine someone who guzzles snake jizz might look.

 

[Monolith]

And here I thought it was talking about John Yaniv, not the actual celebrity.

 

[stupid frog]

Why does her face look bloated?

 

[Bland Crumbs]

She looks like she is morphing into a snake.

 

[Dr. Ricearoni]

White girls fuck snakes

 

[Barry Williams]

Pretty sure this is the plot to the 70's B-movie Sssssss.

 

[Get the rope Macaulay!]

Does anyone really care now that she’s old and unappealing sexually?

i was going to say something similar, this bitch, much like Jennifer love Hewitt, completely avoided showing off the goods and it means they're basically fucking useless to us, there's a reason you can hear britney or J-lo or Xtina songs from that era but you never fucking hear any Jessica Simpson stuff. her entire appeal was being a hot southern belle.

she wasn't good at singing or dancing and her songs weren't good either. she was just hot. there were dozens of female vocalists on the chart in that era, and yet i don't think i remember a single song from Jessica Simpson ever being played anywhere. she just had great marketing behind her.

she should have gotten naked or did an Allison Brie and kept naked photos in like a safety despoit box so when she is old and ugly she can share them with the rest of us.

honestly we're sort of in a similar era where solo female vocalist is the meta. but there's a reason she quickly went from being a singer to an actress and reality show star, she just was a hot chick, her career vanished once she got old.

 

[Blewberry Nausea]

Why does her face look bloated?

She’s known to have struggled with drinking before, maybe she’s off the wagon again?

 

[Xarpho's Return]

Jessica Simpson hasn't been relevant in at least 15-20 years and hasn't aged well. The picture looks like she has a snout.

 

[Kingfisher9000]

Does anyone really care now that she’s old and unappealing sexually?

As a matter of fact after hearing about this I suddenly find her slightly intriguing, sexually. Not appealing, mind you. But it’s as though my dick suddenly remembered she existed, so to speak. Like I have questions, but I don’t care if they ever get answered and I’ll certainly forget them when I sober up. It’s an odd feeling.

 

[Dog-O-Tron 5000v5.0]

She looks like she is morphing into a snake.

"I was once young and ssssssexy! Yesssss...young and sssssexy!"

 

[Day of the Cope]

They’re like, ‘What are you drinking?’ It’s this Chinese herb thing. I’m like ‘I don’t know. My vocal coach told me to drink it,'” Simpson explained in the clip. “And they Googled it and it’s snake sperm. It’s like a honey,” Simpson said, letting out a laugh.

South Park did it! South Park did it!

 

[Male Idiot]

We live in South Park timelines.

Well at leadt it was not a dog this time, but we see Hindoodoo culture is spreading. Rsttling plain oysters?

 

[indigoisviolet]

Why does her face look bloated?

The snake bites her during its daily ordeal.

 

[ditto]

Hey Jessica Simpson, stop stealing my moves!

 

[Pierre D'Olnique]

I guess this is the equivalent of snake oil for women, huh.

 

[BradeRunna]

No one cares about this old washed up Gen X skank. She was jerk off material for Millennials in the early and mid 2000's. That stopped being the case well over a decade ago.

The only thing I remember is when someone intentionally scuttled her sister Ashley Simpsons live performance in 2004 on SNL by showing the world she was talentless hack and was engaging in lip syncing. Which is a career killer. If she ever had much of a career anyway. You never heard from her after that.

These old skanks just need to go away. No one gives a shit about them anymore.

Country music sucks. Especially modern pop country. It's like nigger music for white people.