Nintendo Switch (Currently Plagued) - Here we shit post about the new Nintendo console, The Switch

[Neil]

This is going to be the worst Nintendo console launch of all time.
>$450-$500 USD console ($330 USD region-locked in Japan)
>One exclusive launch title (A new fucking Mario Kart game, priced $90 physical, $80 digital)
>$7 instruction manual tech demo
>Cripple Basketball with mouse controls
$90 joy-con controllers (no guarantee on if they drift or not)
>$90 USD MSRP games that have no game data on the cartridge
>$20-$30 to improve the performance of 8 year old Switch games
>Wasted controller space for a button to activate a discount knockoff Discord chat app that runs at 10fps

>All of this with paid online with a bonus tier subscription for retro games

It was so fucking funny seeing Nintendo avoid adding any pricetags to any of the trailers shown during the reveal they KNOW that this shit is poison to the console's lifetime longetivity. Remember how, throughout the 2000s, Nintendo was always known for being just a bit cheaper (and much weaker) than its competitors?

Parents used to buy their kids the GBA/DS/DSi because it was cheaper than the PSP. Families used to buy the Wii because it was FAR cheaper than the Xbox 360 or ESPECIALLY the fucking PS3 at launch. That massive advantage they had is now gone, this console costs more than the PS5 despite being far weaker than it.

I feel like the best case scenario for the Switch 2 is that it ends up like the 3DS:
>Overpriced at launch, leading to shitty sales
>Price cut, free retro games to early adopters
>Better games come out, people start buying more consoles
>At the half-way point of its life cycle, start selling cheaper versions of the consoles, stripping out the more useless auxillary features and streamline the experience
>comfortably be a well-selling console (but not a best seller like the Switch 1)

Worst case scenario it's a Gamecube tier slog or worse yet, a Wii U tier flop that makes them consider trying the greedy shit they're pulling right now.

I'd really hope and pray that this level of sheer greed might make Nintendo fans reconsider the amount of shit they've let Nintendo get away with, but I doubt it. The biggest Nintendo dicksucker you know is going to preorder the Switch 2 with all of the bells and whistles the minute pre-orders open.

Let's tally that up:
$450 for the console + $90 for Mario Kart World (physical) + $30 for a year of Switch 2 Online + $80 for a Pro Controller + $50 for the camera + $35 for the charging grip = $735 USD on Launch day to buy a console with ONE fucking game!

 

[sono chi no sadame]

I don't like game key cards but they're still preferable to steam all-digital purchases. I can buy one copy and share it among my family, just it requires an annoying download.

I've got a Steam Family set up and it has been a lot simpler to share games instead of fiddling with Nintendo's account nonsense. I used to buy physical for the ease of handing a copy over to a family member on the first Switch (never bought one of those carts where you had to download the rest of the game) so I would prefer that. Unfortunately, Nintendo is being Nintendo.

 

[Neil]

Regarding DK Bonanza:

I am so sick of all of Nintendo's game forcing some faggot sidekick on all of the characters. Regardless of what you think of the redesign, putting some genderless purple blob on his shoulder for 90% of the game ruins it.

The inanimate object sidekick character is Nintendo's version of the Disney Princess animal sidekick trope. They can't make any platformer without one.

 

[6MillionCoofs]

We have box art and neither are GKC

I’m not saying those are just I don’t trust future titles not to be.

 

[Neil]

I really fucking hope the weirdos at GBAtemp figure out a Day 0 Exploit that allows for Piracy, that's the only way I'd ever sink any amount of money into this shitpile.

 

[Anonitolia]

There's a lot of really bitter people in this thread. It's like watching old men that are constantly finding something to be upset about.

I don't even know why, the salt coming from this is absolutely hilarious

I guess it helps when you've been mostly disconnected from this shit for years, but this is fuckin Kiwifarms. I'm genuinely surprised at there being more tardrage than laughing at tards tardraging. Twitter and even Reddit are pissing their pants over this like it's the end of the world, blaming Trump and tariffs and capitalism and social security and their parents because the shiny new toy hurts their nonexistent bottom line. It'd be way more fun to laugh at them than to repeat the same few talking points here over and over again.

I agree with the sentiment, but I don't get the reaction. This shit is hilarious, why despair?

If this ends up crashing the industry: good, fuck the industry.
If it crashes Nintendo: good, they'll have to pick up their pants and learn from their mistakes again like they did with the Wii and Switch 1.
If it ends up a massive success, then I can understand bemoaning the state of things without laughing a little, but as of now I think that it's a bit preemptive to be reacting so strongly.

Not talking about the guys like Belvedere or Obama who are discussing the console normally and/or giving their thoughts, I'm moreso talking about the guys who've been dooming over it for about twenty pages now. You're missing out on so many salty tears!

Just look at the fruits of my very barebones harvest:

Spoiler: this is just from browsing r/Switch for like ten minutes

 

[Betonhaus]

So will the original Switch live on as a cheaper Switch Lite and maybe Switch Nano?

 

[Mike Matei's Penis]

The clunky ass camera seriously brought me vibes of the Xbox Live vision camera, the one on 360 before Kinect. People don't even stream their facecam on Discord unless they're doing a Hasan panel or something, what a weird thing to try and push.

 

[Spaced Outside Cargo]

I don't like game key cards but they're still preferable to steam all-digital purchases. I can buy one copy and share it among my family, just it requires an annoying download.

1. Steam lets any account in your family group use the game when you buy it, just not at the same time.
2. The steam TOS says that provisions are already in place to make sure everyone has access to their games if the service were to shutdown.

 

[6MillionCoofs]

>Cripple Basketball with mouse controls

Of all the control schemes dual mouse is just not good.

The Wii Mote figured shit out 20 years ago almost.

And unlike Arms which was used to show off using two Joy Cons, a fun vibrant new IP with goid character design and style, the thing they decide to show off the mouse with is plain old boring wheelchair basket ball, in a darkened court with basically no music and clear indication that each movement get a slow response.

One arm movement in an actual game has you going way faster.

They’ve completely fumbled this.

 

[Belvedere]

I'm talking about download required games with the white bar. Some are half-on cart, half downloaded, others pretty much entirely downloaded. They've been around since 2017, how have you not noticed them yet?

And I'm talking about the idea of having to rely on a piece of plastic as a physical authentication key. If the game is going to be fully downloadable, why not just work as such instead of introducing a physical point of failure to what is in practice a digital-only ecosystem?

If the physical media doesn't include a version 1.0 of the game that is fully playable from beginning to end then there is no point to it, once the server that host required content gets shut down, that incomplete piece of physical media becomes worthless. So no, I don't bother with that crap. Either ship the game fully on the card or fully-digitally without the need of a card.

 

[sono chi no sadame]

So will the original Switch live on as a cheaper Switch Lite and maybe Switch Nano?

I'd say so. I expect to see some other crossgen titles after Metroid Prime 4, and Nintendo will continue to dripfeed retro games for NSO. They probably have a few titles left until end of 2026, and assuming they want to maximize on profit one of those may be a flagship title. I think if Switch 2 doesn't hit their targets, they may prolong Switch 1's life with something like a BotW Wii U and Switch version situation.

 

[DoubleMint]

And I'm talking about the idea of having to rely on a piece of plastic as a physical authentication key. If the game is going to be fully downloadable, why not just work as such instead of introducing a physical point failure to what is in practice a digital-only ecosystem?

At least the physical key is easy to share/gift/sell.
But the point of what happens after the servers close is still valid.
Imagine buying a brand new game for $80/90 going home with excitement and having to wait a painful long download after putting the cart.

 

[Nobunaga]

I really fucking hope the weirdos at GBAtemp figure out a Day 0 Exploit that allows for Piracy, that's the only way I'd ever sink any amount of money into this shitpile.

By how hard nintendo reacted to the emulator trannies while ignoring the homebrew scene shit will probably take a few years before the first troons start adding basic emulators and their trannyOS

 

[Lone MacReady II]

some games WILL JUST BE HOLLOW LICENSES!!! (YOU WILL OWN NOTHING AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY)

Never forget, the (((paradigm setters))) hate You having Property Rights. They hate it more than Jesus' damning words and painful whip of cords in the temple, they hate it more than Hitler belling their Bankers in the 1930s, and they hate it more than pennies super glued to sidewalks.

 

[Giant Troonade]

All the comparisons to Steam ITT are really funny when you think of the Elden Ring and CP2077 ports announced today. If you already own those games on Steam (and given how fucking old amd popular they are you probably do), and you have a Steam Deck, just playing them on the Deck is a strictly superior experience because you get all the trappings of the Deck being a handheld PC, like customizing settings, keybindings and presumably mods, unless SteamOS doesnt play well with Cyberpunk mods. Not to mention the Steam Deck is now 50 dollars cheaper than the Switch 2. Who are these ports for, except Tendies who refuse to ever touch another platform?

 

[LightDragonman1]

It’s really sad that they decided to price the games so high, because everything else, at least imo, looks at the very least decent.

Again, I’ve heard something reports that the recent tariffs are partly to blame for all this. I wonder if Nintendo is going to have to do some sort of damage control in order to try and put out the flames.

 

[Yours Truly 2095]

I agree with the sentiment, but I don't get the reaction. This shit is hilarious, why despair?

This is some /v/ tard stuff. People who have replaced having a family with media ownership and hobbies as their entire lives. I remember I used to be super outraged about gaming stuff when I was a teen too. What else do you have to think about? I guess I have to assume many here are actually kids. Nintendo has done some silly stupid things, but for it to inspire any serious emotions like rage and despair is kinda sad.

 

[Celebrate Nite]

I wonder if Nintendo is going to have to do some sort of damage control in order to try and put out the flames.

i imagine the apology will go along the lines of Nintendo digging up the corpse of Iwata, holding him like a puppet and going "Please Understand!"

 

[LightDragonman1]

Well at any rate, given the Treehouse stuff in the upcoming days, I can only speculate that Nintendo is going to be at least partly aware of the price backlash.

Do you guys think the recent tariffs are partly to blame?