Mass Effect Andromeda: Shitstorm Edition - RIP Biowear

Calling it:

1) Resource collection somehow manages to be even more awful than Mass Effect 2. I'm wagering it will be since crafting is a key part of the mechanics and that means lots and lots of fun grinding.

2) Credits will be strictly finite unless farming strats are used, meaning the game will kick you in the teeth for not buying things in the optimal order.

3) Nearly all gear will be total dogshit except for a few highly specific late-game combos. The guns shown in the gameplay footage were pathetic and odds are that's the cooler mid/late-game kit they trotted out for style, which leads me to...

4) Biotics will be ruinously overpowered. Bioware has been refocusing ME away from guns and toward powers since ME2 because they wanted to stand out from other shooters. By ME3 it was sheer fucking madness - if you ever played a fully built Adept class in MP, you know what I mean. Tech has always been a wet paper bag because Bioware prefers space magic from a design and marketing standpoint.*

*Not that I have anything against biotics, but gunplay is the only thing that distinguishes Mass Effect's combat from Dragon Age.
 
See if that was what he was actually experiencing that face would be perfect.

But he's obviously meant to be lovestruck after the feisty action gurl glomped him.

The memes will be the only good thing to come out of ME: A

Calling it:

1) Resource collection somehow manages to be even more awful than Mass Effect 2. I'm wagering it will be since crafting is a key part of the mechanics and that means lots and lots of fun grinding.

2) Credits will be strictly finite unless farming strats are used, meaning the game will kick you in the teeth for not buying things in the optimal order.

3) Nearly all gear will be total dogshit except for a few highly specific late-game combos. The guns shown in the gameplay footage were pathetic and odds are that's the cooler mid/late-game kit they trotted out for style, which leads me to...

4) Biotics will be ruinously overpowered. Bioware has been refocusing ME away from guns and toward powers since ME2 because they wanted to stand out from other shooters. By ME3 it was sheer fucking madness - if you ever played a fully built Adept class in MP, you know what I mean. Tech has always been a wet paper bag because Bioware prefers space magic from a design and marketing standpoint.*

*Not that I have anything against biotics, but gunplay is the only thing that distinguishes Mass Effect's combat from Dragon Age.

I have a feeling you are right. Resource collection is a way inexperienced/bad developers do to extend length.

ME 2 was nice, because there was sort of a balance between tech and biotics. Both were pretty fun. But yeah, there was absolutely no reason to play anything but biotics in ME 3. It was obvious that the soldier and all tech were pretty gimped. Vanguard in MP was pretty fun. However, guns really weren't fun in ME 3. In ME 2 they felt kind of visceral and I enjoyed using them.

The sad thing is that Bioware has always made ME series basically unmoddable for reasons beyond my understanding. The armor, guns and powers can easily be fixed through all of that. But I assume the code will be locked up tight and not at all flexible to even simple things like model changes.

Also I predict games journalists will form a shield wall around Bioware and explain away the terrible, terrible fucking decisions they made. Especially if the game is shit
 
Last edited:
Also I predict games journalists will form a shield wall around Bioware and explain away the terrible, terrible fucking decisions they made. Especially if the game is shit

Journalists who cover Bioware games never review gameplay, mechanics or fairness to the consumer: Their favour is based purely on the writing of the characters and nothing else.

I'm sure there's some math involved. Like, one lesbian relationship option makes up for one greedy, exploitative pay-to-win microtransaction scheme, but you need at least two transgender characters to get away with forced online-only play and DLC season passes.

I fully expect the usual suspects to preempt the game's release with some made-up controversy about what some random guy in a comment section thought about the bulldyke asari.
 
Armor for both men and women is the same ugly bulky mess to avoid triggering dangerhairs? ~check

I have mixed feelings on this.

On one hand, I always thought it was strange how these space marines' armor was perfectly sculpted around their rear ends. It's most obvious with FemShep/Ashley, though you can see it with the male characters as well. Artistically, I've always preferred more uniform and practical space armor.

On the other hand, form-fitting armor is kind of a staple of the series' art design. And while I think it's a little silly, it does kind of feel natural in the context of the setting.

Now I totally get what they're going for with FemRyder. Female Shepard was a pencil-necked Amazon. So they're going for a shorter, more boyish look for this new game's female PC option. I can get behind that. But they dropped the ball, because it honestly almost feels like Bioware is uncomfortable reminding us she's a woman.
 
You are right, the context of the material fits the art direction. Or at least it used to. ME is pretty much based on pulp sci-fi. Its why there are sexy blue aliens, your hero is a male/female model, and everyone wears skin-tight, shiny body armor. And the only two ways are a goody-two shoes or an asshole antihero. It fits the pulp style. ME 1 and 2 were examples of this. (ME 3 tried to be smart at the end and it fell flat on its fucking face). I mean, fuck, half of the original writers wrote pulpy sci-fi. The origins for the series were always rather obvious, classic space opera.

Bioware does seem embarrassed about acknowledging her as female, don't they? They tout sexuality but then their actual game does everything it can to remove it. I wouldn't be surprised if they're embarrassed about the pulp origins, after all it is a new team doing it. And this is the obvious problem with constantly changing teams; visions are different. But the audience is still the same, they want what they are used too. The new audience also wants what the old audience does as well, this much is obvious. Bioware seems to be cringing attempting to provide it, gritting their teeth the entire way. Probably not what they are actually doing, just from what they say in interviews and on their twitter feed and from what I've seen in the game are two completely different things. It gives the impression they don't want it to be pulpy, but the audience wants it, so they grudgingly do it in their own shitty way.

Journalists who cover Bioware games never review gameplay, mechanics or fairness to the consumer: Their favour is based purely on the writing of the characters and nothing else.

I'm sure there's some math involved. Like, one lesbian relationship option makes up for one greedy, exploitative pay-to-win microtransaction scheme, but you need at least two transgender characters to get away with forced online-only play and DLC season passes.

I fully expect the usual suspects to preempt the game's release with some made-up controversy about what some random guy in a comment section thought about the bulldyke asari.

Journalists have shit taste in narrative games as well. And I agree there will be the alt-right male gamer outrage articles over ME: Andromeda. Definitely. Because I have a feeling people aren't going to be liking this game. And for whatever the reason its disliked, it will be twisted into the misogyny, -phobia angle.
 
  • Feels
Reactions: FataBataRang
Lets see what we have here.

Large empty zones devoid of life and filled with bullet sponge enemies? ~check
hideous and obnoxious "quirky" comic relief character? ~check
Characters are little more than walking sexual orientations? ~check
Scanning/harvesting to artificially increase playtime? ~check
Armor for both men and women is the same ugly bulky mess to avoid triggering dangerhairs? ~check
Poorly thought out and microtransaction filled multiplayer mode? ~ check

Dragon Age Inquisition in space confirmed.

To be fair it's okay to have comic relief characters, but they have to be funny and/or have a storyline outside of comic relief.

Jan Jansen from BG2 is how you do it correctly. Because behind all his obsession with turnips and griffins he actually had a very interesting plot.

Minsc didn't, but them Minsc was just crazy awesome. Huge musclebound barbarian who talks to his hamster but beneath all this he feels a failure because he failed to protect his charge.

There is, however, no excuse for "have I mentioned I am gay today" characters though. Or micro transactions.

The sad thing is that Bioware has always made ME series basically unmoddable for reasons beyond my understanding. The armor, guns and powers can easily be fixed through all of that. But I assume the code will be locked up tight and not at all flexible to even simple things like model changes.

Also I predict games journalists will form a shield wall around Bioware and explain away the terrible, terrible fucking decisions they made. Especially if the game is shit

Wasn't always like that though. BG and BG2 were stupidly easy to mod, all you had to do was dump your mod files and such in the override folder and off you went. The engine was incredibly documented as well.

I expect with reviews we'll get the opposite of Polygon's Witcher 3 review. They'll trash it for the plot holes, shit writing, linear quests, and one dimensional characters but wank off over diversity and progressiveness as if that makes up for it all and give it ten out of ten.
 
Mass Effect Collectors Edition - $200
With Remote controlled space buggy
Download the phone app to use remote control!
Mass Effect Andromeda Steel Case for your game disc!
Game disc not included.

f3d06c655b03dcc322331fbe514fcce3bf9f54ec654d53170b55f6242e5efa61.jpg
 
ME 2 was nice, because there was sort of a balance between tech and biotics. Both were pretty fun. But yeah, there was absolutely no reason to play anything but biotics in ME 3. It was obvious that the soldier and all tech were pretty gimped. Vanguard in MP was pretty fun. However, guns really weren't fun in ME 3. In ME 2 they felt kind of visceral and I enjoyed using them.

The sad thing is that Bioware has always made ME series basically unmoddable for reasons beyond my understanding. The armor, guns and powers can easily be fixed through all of that. But I assume the code will be locked up tight and not at all flexible to even simple things like model changes.

In the single player. In the multiplayer mode, fucking everything was viable (except classes with minions; Bioware loved making those as useful as grease on fire, with only the Geth turret and Combat Drone being remotely viable; standard turret was terrible and decoy started great and then when Bioware changed how enemy priority algorithms worked it became completely useless).

In fact, some of the best classes were Soldiers and Infiltrators for patch after patch. I actually came within striking distance of soloing a Platinum match with the basic human Soldier class on Firebase Rio once, and I don't consider myself to be that great at the game. Infiltrator's damage bonus was so high that if you knew what you were doing, you could break most fights wide open. Cloaking was so useful that Bioware essentially nerfed it to the point where you had to choose between duration and damage output, and when they nerfed the ability of cloak to actually.... Y'know, cloak you, everyone went damage.
 
Oh its not just Bioware
View attachment 189092

Yeah but this is EA. It's just a shallow PR campaign, they don't really care.

I do love how the money goes to charities focused on girls in game development. Like why not veterans' groups or community charities or children of killed first responders? The NPOs they're talking about aren't real charities, they're support groups for anti-social trannies and dangerhairs.
 
Yeah but this is EA. It's just a shallow PR campaign, they don't really care.

I do love how the money goes to charities focused on girls in game development. Like why not veterans' groups or community charities or children of killed first responders? The NPOs they're talking about aren't real charities, they're support groups for anti-social trannies and dangerhairs.

That's really the culture of Silicon Valley, Toronto, Montreal, Stockholm, etc etc.... They are making games for themselves and the people around them.
ubisoft.png


briecode.png


29a3a671c92b2efde28841320b320216cbc21a90e0e1337062cf1864fdeaccac.png
 
Bioware review.png


This is probably the most honest review of working at the place. The insecure, lost passion management and similar explains why Bioware have gone downhill constantly in recent years. They don't want to make fun and thought provoking RPGs any more. They just phone in their performances and promote people who suck up to them.
 
That's really the culture of Silicon Valley, Toronto, Montreal, Stockholm, etc etc.... They are making games for themselves and the people around them.
View attachment 189096

View attachment 189098

View attachment 189097

If you go by that metric, they've failed. Utterly. Irrevocably. They can give all the fucking rewards they want to No Gameplay Sky. Everyone will remember it as one of the biggest disappointments of 2016 and no amount of pearl-clutching or hand-wringing is going to put the genie back in that fucking bottle. Look at the best selling games right now, and, MMOs, and demos aside, the chart is fucking dominated by weeb games, problematic weeb games, more weeb games, DEUS VULT, the caveman games, Resident Evil: PT Edition, Sports games, GTAV, and even more fucking weeb games.

That has to sting. And I'm fucking glad it does. Bioware going under cannot happen soon enough.
 
Back