Celebrity Meghan Markle / Rachel Meghan Markle / Meghan, Duchess of Sussex / Meghan Sussex / The Alliterate One - Markle Snarkle

[John Andrews Stan]

I just noticed something: the crepe mix has this awful "Vanilla Powder (Dextrose, Vanilla Extractives, Vanillin)" and the very first of the Tips for Enjoyment suggests:

1. Date night with your beloved
A chic dinner for one or a romantic meal, filled with ham and cheese, and paired with a glass of Pinot.

That’s way dumber than her referring to puff pastry as “puffed pastry” (I didn’t mention it since it’s minor but still telling).

Based on what she’s shown us of her work ethic, it’s a safe bet that she wrote her own packaging copy — or at least micromanaged the process to the point where the draft copy was edited away.

The hand-holding incident hit the Daily Mail tonight.

 

[RisingPhoenix]

OP is great but just a few things missing.

My personal fave Meghan royal protocol blunder is that time she and Harry went to visit a charity that gives lunches to prostitutes living on the streets and Meghan decided on the cuff to sign the bananas ON THE SKINS with Sharpie "inspirational messages"

I recall reading somewhere they basically had to throw the bananas away after due to concern of the ink seeping into the edible parts.

Also, before the "Becoming Independent" instagram post. There was the ITV/ABC special about 6 months before which followed Harry and Megan's tour of Africa.

The ITV Royal Reporter was mates with Harry and they got the exclusive for this Royal visit back in 2019.

They spent most of the interview whining about how the press was presenting Meghan. The British public not fawning over her, and musing on moving to Africa to get away from it all. For the one point in the trip where they went to see a part of actual Africa - Meghan decided to stay behind in the nearest city rather than accompany Harry. Lots of clips from this special seem to be struck off the record now

Here's a clip from around that time of Meghan claiming her mates told her the UK tabloids would eat her alive and America apparently has nothing like it (lol)

https://youtu.be/uBdqwIcTv4w?si=m9B_P3cTPOcJHJ8z

 

[Krokodil Overdose]

View attachment 7168271

This is the only interesting part to me. Combined with the coffee in Ep. 1 it looks like she's trying to push back on her image of being terrible to the staff. (Though lol at admitting that behind every glamorous girl boss is a team of normal dudes who make it all happen.)

 

[John Andrews Stan]

On the topic of batshit crazy Meghan critics, this was a wild ride:



The part about Meghan throwing a hot stone at her masseuse was masterful trolling.

 

[Flaggy but One]

This arc is hilarious. She's like a pretentious, new-age Sandra Lee with her shitty cooking and crafts, except Sandra Lee's entertaining and pretty likeable. Ironic Meghan would represent the archetypal woman with far too much time on her hands who vastly overrates her abilities.

 

[duckling]

UK charity commission has confirmed it is opening an investigation into Sentebale. Chandauka and Harry have both issued statements about how they are totally going to come out on top.

More info about funding disputes in the attached article.

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c1lmggp7de8o.amp

 

[multiverse]

Meghan paid Vanity Fair to cover the launch of her As Ever "seasonal offering" launch. There was absolutely nothing to say except, "hey, I made some online purchases." Because nothing has shipped or arrived yet.

So you could buy nine things, except the honey was always a figment of Meghan's imagination. The rest of the items became unavailable after this reporter made her purchase. The reporter comments on how cheap this shit is for a supposed high end grocery brand.


The reporter compares the line's pricing to other high end and celebrity brands. Flamingo Estate gets a mention, because everyone knows Meghan tried to take over their company before swiping their business model.


She's had a full team of handpicked staff for the last five years (since leaving England and royalty behind), and the best they've got are her hairdresser, her personal photographer, and some kid named Ryan who set up Shopify for her.


There is nothing else the reporter can say, since this article was posted before any actual merch arrived. One wonders if it ever will.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Graydon Carter referring to Megan as “the Undine Spragg of Montecito” was really delicious. I love deep, cutting, literary insults guaranteed to fly far above their targets’ heads, but it’s also so damn spot on. Bonus, it makes Harry a Spragg Hag.

If Megan had any self-awareness, media savvy or intelligence her final Nexflix show should be an admiring doco-series about famous, ruthless, female social climbers….or a doco about former yacht girls. Actually be authentic and embrace being a vapid, greedy, fame obsessed, narcissistic bitch because it’s the only thing about herself anyone will buy at this point.

start to believe that someone from MM team at As If I am a Royalty ™, is trolling her hard. Or has just rotten brain.

i think the people that have worked for MM learn to absolutely hate and loathe her, but some are just incredibly dumb too. In the end all of her disasters are the result of giving MM exactly what she demanded.

The only way any successful PR could be done for MM is for her to have zero input and agree to do exactly what she is told.

The best option for her ego at this point is to become a Scientologist and never look at the media again.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

One of King Charles’ oldest friends has called Meghan crazy and inauthentic. Lady Carole Bamford, billionaire creator of the aspirational Daylesford Organic chain of UK high-end markets says:

'I think she's crazy. Why? Because she hasn't got any history. Or authenticity!

‘Before you launch anything, you have to do the hard work and get everything in place.’

Validating one of the themes ITT yesterday:

Daylesford Organic isn't noted for modest prices, but its raspberry jam - one of its 36 organic jams and honeys, 'made in small batches using traditional methods' - is £5.25 for an 8oz jar. Meanwhile, As Ever's factory-made 'raspberry spread' is $9 or £6.94 for a 7.6oz jar.

If Megan had any self-awareness, media savvy or intelligence her final Nexflix show should be an admiring doco-series about famous, ruthless, female social climbers….or a doco about former yacht girls. Actually be authentic and embrace being a vapid, greedy, fame obsessed, narcissistic bitch because it’s the only thing about herself anyone will buy at this point.

I really wish some credentialed experts would do a deep dive, long form article about how Meghan’s childhood may have contributed to the complete lack of authenticity she displays in adulthood.

It’s funny to watch, but also a tad disturbing to see her living and spending like a billionaire before having the money for it. I suspect she’s all-in on The Secret and thinks she’s faking it to make it, acting as if (which would have been a better name for her brand). She was bitterly disappointed to learn that Harry didn’t have much money of his own (relative to the billions she’s after). And as much as she resented that protocol demands she curtsy to Kate and William, walking behind them at all times, she REALLY resented the fact that William and Kate will always live in the ultimate luxury while she and Harry would have only ever been offered more modest royal housing (and be expected to subsidize much of it).

Being raised primarily by her white father while her black mother was less present had to have contributed to the identity dysphoria and total lack of authenticity she acts with.

Hence her need for control over her own narrative, along with a strong desire for public adoration. The video of her borderline begging for her mother’s praise for that banana pudding was more revealing than M realizes. She could have all the money and public worship in the world and it still wouldn’t fill that hole for her.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Speaking of identity crises, New York magazine just published this banger:

Meghan Markle’s As Ever Is Selling an Identity Crisis​

(archive)

This is so good and worth reading in fll. She really sticks the landing:

Perhaps it’s not fair to expect Meghan Markle to have a consistent brand identity. Some days I eat fresh-baked muffins with fancy jams, but most mornings I cook my breakfast in the microwave. Hey, maybe “flower sprinkles” would make my Jimmy Dean Delights frozen egg sandwich more joyful! Don’t put me or Meghan in a box! Unless, as Meghan recommended earlier this week, you’re using her jam’s “keepsake packaging” as a “time capsule” to “remember this pivotal moment with me.” For $14, that jam box better contain multitudes.

The Telegraph also has this barn-stormer:

Everyone has to make a living, but Meghan has put her life up for sale​

(archive)

Another one worth reading in full. The author picks up on the adoring billionaire theme mentioned previously ITT:



Meghan has proved her earliest critics right:


It’s all just so gauche.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

really wish some credentialed experts would do a deep dive, long form article about how Meghan’s childhood may have contributed to the complete lack of authenticity she displays in adulthood.

I’m not sure that even an expert that actually had her on the couch for a few hours would figure anything out because she has no insight into herself. She is not complex, I think she really is as shallow as she seems.

She is a product of a Los Angeles childhood with dim bulb, divorced parents. I think she absolutely bought wholesale into to the superficial bullshit lessons LA serves up. Only the surface and money matters. She wanted to be rich, famous and everyone to be jealous of her. She has never considered why she wants these things, because she can’t even fathom wanting anything else. She is ambitious and manipulative, but not very bright. Her biggest idea once snagging Harry was to make herself a commodity and brand to sell, as if there could be no higher achievement in life than becoming “a brand”

I think you are right that the estranged relationship with her mom fucked her up and definitely left a giant identity void she filled with vapid LA dreams. I don’t think her mom liked her that much and wasn't that particularly interested playing mom.

What always surprised me is that Harry fell for her. I would have assumed a Prince would have been better trained to avoid and spot Megan’s type a mile away. I can only assume he really is as dumb as the rumors say. He’s certainly been around enough adoring women, but maybe pissing off his family was a big part of the Megan appeal. I think she was extremely adept at massaging his fragile, spare heir, male ego and since she really didn’t understand much about the royal family he probably thought she was so cheeky and brave, when she was just insipid and uncomprehending.

I do think, even if they absolutely loathe each other now, they will keep up the public facade for a few more years. Harry’s sunk cost fallacy is mind boggling. I think she’s dug deep into crying about being “a victim of the media just like your mummy” to Harry. They will go radio silent for at least 6 months to a year before a separation is announced.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

I think you are right that the estranged relationship with her mom fucked her up and definitely left a giant identity void she filled with vapid LA dreams.

Is there any truth to the rumor that her mom was in prison for a big chunk of Meghan's childhood?

 

[obsdj]

She is not complex, I think she really is as shallow as she seems.

South Park really does tend to be ahead of its time.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I think you are right that the estranged relationship with her mom fucked her up and definitely left a giant identity void she filled with vapid LA dreams. I don’t think her mom liked her that much and wasn't that particularly interested playing mom.

On WLM, her mom showed up for the brunch at the end of the last episode. The Meghan haters tend to imagine a lot of secret thoughts and disgust on the part of anyone who appears anywhere in M’s proximity. But in this case, Doria really was strikingly subdued. I don’t think she smiled at Meghan when she arrived, and she showed the kind of excitement with which one would approach a dentist appointment.

Plenty of parents love their kids but don’t like them. I suspect this might be the case here. That’s how Doria acts, anyway.

Is there any truth to the rumor that her mom was in prison for a big chunk of Meghan's childhood?

I’ve never seen any evidence that this is true. Just like the hordes of Meghan haters who insist M had a teen pregnancy and secret wedding in high school — all because she wore a white prom dress. (They say the photo is from her underground wedding.)

 

[Null]

For the record, if you have issues with users on the site, do not derail the thread to correct them, just use reports. I threadbanned two users for a week and now I've been told I am very mean for doing so. There's no reason for entire pages of a 25 page long thread to be dedicated to interpersonal disputes.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

This will sound borderline BEC, but she keeps using metal whisks and other utensils in her enamel cookware and while I do find it funny how people are so upset, it’s also low-key triggering. It’s not just that she’s such a fraud but that she casually treats all her expensive items like garbage.

She also dices with a paring knife, measures liquids in a dry measures cup, can’t mix cake batter for shit, frosts cupcakes while they’re still in the tin, and made a mess of trying to scrape a vanilla pod. Several YouTubers have done breakdowns on how bad she is at everything in the kitchen. Like a true lolcow, she will never learn.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I went to YouTube curious about the Megan content (b/c I really haven’t paid much attention) and discovered the hilarious Sussex Squad, the most awful, obvious, paid pro-Megan content imaginable. The channel gets no views, a handful of heavily moderated, scripted comments praising Meghan. The craven and transparent paid content churn is amazing, they must get paid per video posted (because they certainly aren’t getting any YT ad money).

It’s also hilarious since it’s the only fawning content among a sea of hate, cringe and bitchy mockery - and it was obviously paid to appear high in the search result because its viewership should make it near invisible. A few years ago there were at least a few non-PR contracted people kissing her ass on YT.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I posted in the UK royalty thread about the Behavior Panel finding Sophie Chandauka extremely credible in her recent interview. That reminded me how great their analysis of Harry and Meghan has been. Let’s just say they very much had Meghan’s number from the jump. They also weigh in on Meghan’s loony family, Omid Scoble, Princess Diana and other related figures. Here’s the playlist if you’re interested and some samples:

 

[duckling]

I need a better method for capturing Meghan’s reels and stories to archive here, I keep struggling with mobile uploads of videos failing to attach and editing/cropping them is annoying.

Does OBS on desktop capture Instagram ok, or is there a browser program that can download the files to my PC without having to use a capture program? Thanks in advance for any advice.

 

[multiverse]

I need a better method for capturing Meghan’s reels and stories to archive here, I keep struggling with mobile uploads of videos failing to attach and editing/cropping them is annoying.

Does OBS on desktop capture Instagram ok, or is there a browser program that can download the files to my PC without having to use a capture program? Thanks in advance for any advice.

There are dozens of online services for downloading Instagram stories, just Google "download Instagram stories" and you should get at least two or three services that work. Using a VPN with them helps the ones that IP ban USA users.

I don't gather data as often as I used to, but I've found them to be reliable in the past.